"To keep the review thread clean..."

[LeBroz]

The intrepid WomanPariah is having some Nurture moments. This is an easy to read, narrative piece that is 180 degrees from her usual edgy, twisty style. WP paints a detailed picture of someone who gives to everyone and takes from herself. It has a sad, quirky ending. You really need to read it at least twice to get what a moving poem it is. I'd say there's a typo if I didn't know how carefully WP edits before submitting. And no, LeBroz, I'm not wild about the ellipsis points . Also, there are some line breaks I might shift around, but really these are nitpicks about a very well-written poem.

Ange

After I figured out that the key to grasping this piece is that bulletin board poster she fixes for the Suicide Hotline, the assumption I made about the poem's ending seems confirmed. And to avoid confusion, there is in fact only one ellipsis; I'm just so accustomed to speaking of two or more ellipses that I went and wrote it up the way I usually do about those ellipses.

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[Angeline]

After I figured out that the key to grasping this piece is that bulletin board poster she fixes for the Suicide Hotline, the assumption I made about the poem's ending seems confirmed. And to avoid confusion, there is in fact only one ellipsis; I'm just so accustomed to speaking of two or more ellipses that I went and wrote it up the way I usually do about those ellipses.

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Yup. I was emailing with WP a while ago and she confirmed it for me, too. And I don't think she'll be annoyed at me if I reveal another hint in the poem. The name "Richard," is a reference to the poem Richard Corey, which most of us have read in high school. No, I didn't figure it out; she told me. But when you know that, the puzzle pieces fall into place.

And when you consider all this and the tentative sort of weak grip the subject of this poem has on life, you can see that WP used the ellipses points to underscore that quality. There's a great deal of craft in that poem.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Angeline you made my day today and LeBroz too I even showed my husband and I usually keep him miles away from my computer!

 

[Angeline]

Angeline you made my day today and LeBroz too I even showed my husband and I usually keep him miles away from my computer!

Well I much enjoyed your poem. So clever and fun.

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[Angeline]

Leon, Angeline, TungTied, Eve, Jamison; thank you all for your attention over the last few days, and hmmnmm too.

Leon, that piece is pretty obvious, and I think it's intended to be (?). I kind of figured it would be obvious in a The Sixth Sense way: once you get to the end you say, "shoulda seen it coming," or more like "oh brother."

I'm not comparing my work to Sixth in any kind of qualitative way ... my poem doesn't have Bruce Willis going for it for one thing. Yum.

And Angeline, of course I don't mind the "giveaway," I'll hog all the attention I can get. But we all know that by now.

Oh I have nooo problem switching the spotlight on someone when the poem is good. I'm a poetry slut, have been forever.

 

[ElmerGlew]

.....

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[ElmerGlew]

.....

 

[WomanPariah]

distilled to its essence

 

[ElmerGlew]

.....

 

[KOLKORE]

"Nurturing Moments": a hidden gem?

Dear WomanPariah,
It was one of the most touching narratives (poem/story) I have read in quite some time. My only "complaint" is about the hard times I experienced in my effort to simply express my gratitude and perhaps encourage others to read this piece. I could not find a contact option with your profile and you chose to close the option of leaving public comments. Undoubtedly it's your sole discretion. But I have a sense of loss as I believe that such a gem deserves to be advertised to the maximum. The internet is prone to accidental discoveries such as mine with your poem. I actually got to read it through a comment made on it by LeBroz which was sent to my inbox; otherwise I might have missed it. At other times I was informed by other people that they got to read a story after peeking at the "recent comments" portal. I am not trying to guilt you into opening up your work for feedback, but perhaps you might want to consider the benefits of reaching out to more readers.

 

[hmmnmm]

She has also turned off PMs and has deleted virtually all of her posts.

I hope she is OK.

me too. tried to PM...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I did too where are you Roni come back please

 

[bogusbrig]

Thanks for the mention of muy poem Ange and thanks to the people who left comments. I've been working on that poem so long I ended up just posting it and being damned, I had no sense of if it was good or bad. Thanks again.

 

[bogusbrig]

She has also turned off PMs and has deleted virtually all of her posts.

I hope she is OK.

Try this http://womanpariah.com/ it seems to be her website.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

For anyone who is worried Roni (WomanPariah) is ok

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thankyou to WickedEve, KOLKORE, Champagne and LeBroz for your comments on 'Bogeyman' and special thankyous to Champagne and WomanPariah for bolstering my nerve to submit it in the first place and showing me how to do the italics.

 

[WickedEve]

Thankyou to WickedEve, KOLKORE, Champagne and LeBroz for your comments on 'Bogeyman' and special thankyous to Champagne and WomanPariah for bolstering my nerve to submit it in the first place and showing me how to do the italics.

I hope you'll keep sharing poems like Bogeyman and Cuckoo. I think you have a lot more to share.

 

[twelveoone]

WomanPariah turn on your comments. It looks like a good crew is working over there and in NPR.

 

[WickedEve]

WomanPariah turn on your comments.

I second that.
Let us comment on your work, WP. Your poetry is exciting.

 

[Paris_Garters]

I really appreciate the review and comments on the two latest poems I have up. I worked very hard on those and the feedback is rewarding. Thanks specifically to lorencino for the mention in the Review thread.

 

[lorencino]

I really appreciate the review and comments on the two latest poems I have up. I worked very hard on those and the feedback is rewarding. Thanks specifically to lorencino for the mention in the Review thread.

You're more than welcome and I will eventually work out what I want to say on your poems' comments sections.

I must confess, however, that it was normal jean's extensive commentary on your poems that got me going in the first place and then I noticed that there was no review for Saturday's submissions and it was already 2am on Sunday. I felt it was a pity to leave those I mentioned unmentioned in any daily review.

 

[Guest]

.............

 

[bogusbrig]

Thanks Kolklore, lorencino, champagne and Ishtat for the comments on my poem, The Colour Of Black. I can see the problem with the Irishman now you've mentioned it, he was in the poem because he was there in reality but now you point it out, I can see he really doesn't have a roll in the poem. Time for editing I think. Thanks everyone.