TPE Ethics, hypothetical situations, power and responsibility

[littlebirdjoy]

Although, I often find that we have much in common... We may have a small deliverance here. Ive had more than 2 decades of contracts and owning wiling and consenting slaves over the years. One of which ive owned for 14 years.

A Contact, more often than not becomes a guideline. Does my slave of 14 years have a contact? Absolutely! When was the last time we pulled it out and checked the letter of the law (so to speak). Its literally been many years. Hence, guideline. IMO a contract serves two purposes, especially for those fairly new to the lifestyle (M/s most notably) dynamics. Clarification and Trust.
Absolutely, it is a living document. It is not something that is a once and done. Nor is it intended to address every eventuality. That is where the acting in good faith that I'm using good judgment keeping his intentions and preferences foremost comes in. I think, because of the way we are, we will be likely to revisit it from time to time, even 20 or 30 years down the road for the reason you mention further down. It is intended to help communicate clearly and prevent unfulfilled expectations and unexpressed desires.

One of the largest problems in keeping a successful Long term relationship going is unexpressed expectations. One partner or the other has a set of "obvious" expectations in their head... and when these arent being fulfilled... they get frustrated and angry. When the couple come into counseling the other partner often says: "You never once said that you wanted/ expected this!!" and rightfully so... but the upset partner almost always responds with "Well its obvious! Anyone would feel the same way"
Absolute agreement. Can't say enough how important open and honest communication from both sides is, BUT ... in our context it is *in his way, in his time*


So a contract helps you to clarify for both, your expectations. It always makes me chuckle when you are writing up a contract all the things it reminds you to add... that you wouldnt have written down until your actually doing it.
Yep. On a different site I was on, one Dom of note and his girl spent MONTHS writing an at first 14 page behemoth which became 21 pages, and was eventually bound into a book which lives on their coffee table.I wont lie and say I'm not MASSIVELY curious what the heck is in that sucker! Vade Meecum for sure!


Trust. When both parties continue to fulfill the agreed upon terms of the contract... it of course builds trust. a TOTAL must in any lifestyle dynamic (or any successful relationship).

The area that I think we might have a difference of opinion is this: you mentioned that once your contact is enacted, that the slave looses their status as a moral agent for themselves. In theory you are correct, but In reality I feel I should add a very large caveat. Regardless of how long a slave has been under contract. they of course retain their status as a self moral agent, because they have the power to break that contact and end the relationship at any time they wish. Just as the Dom/me, Master or Mistress can. You cant in reality excuse yourself from being your own moral agent when you have the power to rip up the contact and walk away because its not being fulfilled by your partner. Outside of that one action, I would agree with you.
Oh we have no disagreement, none at all. Now... here is where I'm not completely self congruent yet. I agree that no one can or should be forced to remain in a situation that they do not feel desirous to stay in any longer. In our contract for example, he lays out several situations in which his actions (or mine) would nullify it, and make the relationship immediately terminate. I do not for a second believe he would ever allow that to come to pass nor would I. We have agreed that once signed, however, anything outside those parameters is NOT grounds for me to seek release nor him to dismiss me. <<< in reality, does writing that matter a hoot? No. But it is honor. It is commitment. It is that whole trust thing up there.
Do we plan on signing that contract anytime soon? NOPE
That exists for some unknown time in the future when we can actually be together 24/7. As of yet, that time is not in the foreseeable future.
I'm hoping that we will work this summer to make a different more workable one for the now. (i have braveheart accent running throuhg my head "na tha now." "No Wallace" "Na tha now.") LOL.


There ARE slaves who wish to completely devote themselves in service to another. There are also those that want or need someone to be their moral center, their one to make decisions for them. Not because they are weak or unintelligent. Because some just have a difficult time making decisions or are incapable of being assertive or really want/ need a strong leader. You wouldnt think the crew of a ship are unintelligent because they need a Captain to lead the crew would you? My slave of 14 years is like this. She is incredibly intelligent and works in an engineering firm. The fact is every s type in unique. So you cant assume all the above applies to everyone.
Absolutely. I tend not to express it as moral center, so much as a rubric or compass rose. I can't use myself as my own rubric as mine is flawed.

Thank you for joining the discussion!
(I hope more people will too)
I've responded in line in teal.

Related to the concept is a keynote address found : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ImHYli_Z-o
Here.
It discusses BDSM as a model for social maturity and I feel it salient to your point. I THINK I sent this to you a while back in PM, maybe? It's by Master Arcane of Crow Academy.