Twenty things that irritate me about writing erotica

[Rob_Royale]

Since this is my thread and I'm free to derail it as I wish, here's

Something that makes me happy about worrying erotica.

1. That eureka moment. That amazing second of inspiration when that plot or character issue you've been chewing on is suddenly fixed. And it's not just a "that will do" idea, it's fucking perfect and awesome! It makes my week.

 

[ZfrkS62]

*Going back to that story that's been collecting digital cobwebs in the dark corner of the hard drive for 5+ years because the person you had in mind for the partner fell off the face of the earth and now you have a new person in mind, but can't quite believe the scenes with them because you don't quite see them that way yet. Because you don't know how to imagine a completely random person from scratch.

*Also, do I really want to put that much of myself into Him? I don't know how confident people who have random encounters do it..I'm screwing this up. No wonder no one reads my work.

*3 weeks and 6 paragraphs later you realize something you wrote doesn't work but still somehow alters half of what you've done since.

*That really clever line you came up with on the drive home from work? Gone.

*Fuck. How many times can I use 'and'...have I used too many commas? What's the purpose of the semi-colon again? heh...Colon...

*I really need another word for the penis, but I'm seriously down to everything that turns this into Spaceballs: The Erotic Fiction

 

[DeLaFaye]

#20 bothers me a lot too. All my other hobbies have certainly taken a back seat to writing. It's an odd kind of 'bother' though, isn't it? It's not enough to make me stop writing, but I almost feel guilty about it. But the only one that's really effected is me. Unless anyone wants a hand-knitted hat you have to hand was because I'm particular about my wool.

#18 We've discussed this on a previous thread before, but for me at least, that lack of support with him never really got easier. No matter how I tried to justify it. It sucks when people close to us can't be bothered, at least not to the level we're hoping for. I'm sorry you know what that's like. (The hug emoji looks weird, but that sentiment goes here.)

#17 I literally have three word docs open tonight and I'm hopping between them all.

#8 The crap I have added to my poor dictionary...

 

[ZfrkS62]

You guys add stuff to your dicktionary?

 

[TxRad]

My dicktionary is rated XXX on three continents.

 

[Whanmore]

Brain: You should go to bed because you have to work in the morning.

Also Brain: Then... she stands up. (30 more minutes of writing.)

 

[gunhilltrain]

​

.​

20. Building scale models has been my creative outlet for 40+ years, I have thousands of dollars in tools, kits, and accessories. Thousands of hours of experience and the skill and expertise built upon them. A hundred built works and awards that I have won for them. They have sat untouched since I started writing. I don’t even think about them anymore. This one bothers me the most.

First of all, the model building. It would be unfortunate if you just gave that up. It's a different kind of skill - more tangible - then writing. I think you can find time to do both, but I don't know how busy the rest of your life is. Sorry, I know you were going to send me a link about the models, but I had trouble opening it? That was over a month ago.

 

[dasgoodshit]

4. Sex scenes are very rewarding when completed, but a drag to write.

6. When I’ve got the story planned out, the writing is going well, and I’m totally in the zone – Hey you know what would be a cool idea for a story?

^^This

1. I know how the story starts and how it ends but everything in between is a Jackson Pollock painting in my brain.

That's interesting, because my problem is just the opposite. I have no idea how to start or end the story. The ending, especially.

 

[Rob_Royale]

First of all, the model building. It would be unfortunate if you just gave that up. It's a different kind of skill - more tangible - then writing. I think you can find time to do both, but I don't know how busy the rest of your life is. Sorry, I know you were going to send me a link about the models, but I had trouble opening it? That was over a month ago.

Not a chance of that happening. I have many years left. Eventually, the newness will wear off writing erotica and I'll find a balance between the two hobbies.

 

[Rob_Royale]

That's interesting, because my problem is just the opposite. I have no idea how to start or end the story. The ending, especially.

For me, it's a prerequisite to even start the story. It doesn't have to be set in stone, but a fairly decent idea.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Not a chance of that happening. I have many years left. Eventually, the newness will wear off writing erotica and I'll find a balance between the two hobbies.

Rob, thanks for the photos. The brown car is a Ford? About 1949. I always liked the idea of a four-door convertible, probably because they were rather uncommon. I guess someone besides Lincoln once made them, but those were the only ones I saw as a kid. Would make quite an impact at the beach, as long as you don't go into the sand.

I don't recognize the two hot rods. I can't identify cars from that era, likely because that was before my time.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Things that irritate me about writing erotica.​

4. Sex scenes are very rewarding when completed, but a drag to write.

I didn't realize that this thread is almost a month old already.

Forgive me if I've said this before, but the amount and length of sex scenes is not set by a formula. (Although some of our readers probably wish it was.) I have to use one of my own examples. The Geek Pride entry has no sex depicted, although it's alluded to. The prequel which just came out does have a sex scene and, yeah, it did score higher. But that's fine with me; the first one seemed to be the way I wanted it to go.

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

The gay male "Who's cock problem" is probably the worst thing about erotica for me.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I don't recognize the two hot rods. I can't identify cars from that era, likely because that was before my time.

The green one is a 1937 Chevy cabriolet and the grey one is a 1932 Ford roadster or a "deuce" in the hot rod vernacular. "Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night." All of the models are heavily modified, with parts from many kits. I have a hundred and fifty kits waiting for my attention.

 

[Rob_Royale]

#21.
When I sit down at the PC with a plan.
"Okay, it's 11 pm. I'll write until 2 am, then watch a couple of episodes of Witcher and hit the sack around 4 am."

Aaannnddd, I'm still writing at 6 am when my wife gets up to go to work.

 

[djrip]

#21.
When I sit down at the PC with a plan.
"Okay, it's 11 pm. I'll write until 2 am, then watch a couple of episodes of Witcher and hit the sack around 4 am."

Aaannnddd, I'm still writing at 6 am when my wife gets up to go to work.

Frequently I would like to write after 11 pm. What happens instead is I wake up in my chair with a very sore neck.

 

[Rob_Royale]

#22
When a typo almost gets through and it would have been too funny for the readers to ignore.

Ana was on her knees sucking his clock wildly.

 

[CyranoJ]

19 That I have found something that I really enjoy and am reasonably good at, and I really can’t fucking tell anyone.​

I feel this one.

 

[Seadog777]

It’s changed the way I look at everything. I can’t even play Skyrim without imagining sexy stories with every NPC my character meets. I bet Vex is a wildcat in bed and Lydia is a sub.

I bet Vex practices the fine arts from the Temple of Dibella.

 

[AchtungNight]

Character overcrowding.

Trying to keep up with a celebrity scandal and having new developments thrown at you left and right.

Burnout.

Trouble with choreography.

Stories getting too long.

Lack of feedback.

You want to write more than sex, an epic plot with multiple twists, fun character takes, and then you get the feeling the readers just want the smut.

The feeling you get when you know a story isn’t right.

Writing takes a lot of time and effort.

Finding a subject for the next tale.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Lack of feedback.

Well yeah, as I've found that's just part of writing on LitE. But I've learned to take every favorite, every read, every vote as feedback and cherish every reader who decided to take the time to comment. I've learned to worry less about the smut focused readers and just write my story knowing it will find its audience. And it's getting easier every time I submit a story.

 

[Rob_Royale]

#23 - When you're 5000 words in and you do a re-read and realized this ISN'T good.
#24 - When you've examined it from every angle for several days and realized that complete deletion is really the best thing for what you have. I put the idea back on the idea list and then breathe a huge sigh of relief.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

#11 Whenever I start thinking any woman in Skyrim is attractive, I know something is wrong and it's probably loneliness whispering in my ear. Currently it's ruining my enjoyment of Pintrest. I bet you collected every volume of the Lusty Argonian Maid, ya milk drinker.

 

[onehitwanda]

#11 Whenever I start thinking any woman in Skyrim is attractive, I know something is wrong and it's probably loneliness whispering in my ear. Currently it's ruining my enjoyment of Pintrest. I bet you collected every volume of the Lusty Argonian Maid, ya milk drinker.

who needs The Lusty Argonian Maid when you have an internet full of fan-art...

https://64.media.tumblr.com/03fe6ffe27be344f5dca91d8448b35cd/39fc056e9d3c0292-8e/s1280x1920/8a01a35122872817f718b40d6ea95e25a82d9e2d.jpg

 

[Rob_Royale]

#11 Whenever I start thinking any woman in Skyrim is attractive, I know something is wrong and it's probably loneliness whispering in my ear. Currently it's ruining my enjoyment of Pintrest. I bet you collected every volume of the Lusty Argonian Maid, ya milk drinker.

There is a mod that fixes female faces. I hadn't collected them. Shit, now I HAVE to don't I? Damn.