"Vanilla Wife Syndrome"

[girlsmiley]

As a promiscuous bisexual dyke, let me just say that I've fucked a lot of people the once and never seen them again. Some of those have been men, some bi-curious girls, and more than you might expect have been lesbians. Who didn't love me, and didn't have to pretend they did, but we had a wonderful time in spite of that.

YOU might not like casual sex yourself, and that's your call. I do-- almost as much as I like deep and meaningful sex. With either sex, for that matter.

I don't think much of the word "Slut." It means "someone (A woman by default) who has more sex than I think is right."

Having said that... Here's one of the points where women and men tend to differ.

In gay male society, casual fucking around is, or used to be, okay in a way that it has never been in lesbian society-- with a few little pockets of exception-- and guys don't, or didn't, care what other men thought about their promiscuity.

I get a bit butthurt when I hear dudes talk about fucking people they actually don't like. I have no problem telling the world how offensive I think that is. I'm not that masculine.

I would think MYSELF a slut if I slept with a man. But I think it's pathetic that a man (who is married to a woman that he allegedly loves) would call himself a bisexual just because he wants or has had sex with another man. Because he only loves the cock, not the man

You know what I mean Stella?

It's bullshit. You can say you love men and women, but he can say I love women and cock?

Haha!

 

[TallOne]

*cough*

Bisexuality - sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical or romantic attraction to both males and females

 

[girlsmiley]

*cough*

Bisexuality - sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical or romantic attraction to both males and females

*cough* so you're a cock?

 

[TallOne]

Sometimes

How about this one:
bisexuality - sexual activity with both men and women

No liking/loving involved, just 'activity'

 

[girlsmiley]

Sometimes

How about this one:
bisexuality - sexual activity with both men and women

No liking/loving involved, just 'activity'

No liking or loving? That just sounds like bad sex. Is that really the correct definition of a bisexual? It sounds wrong but ahhh. I'm not really in the mood for a debate.

Ahhhhh each to their own. If you don't like someone and/or love someone and you fuck them and walk away it's none of my business.

 

[Stella_Omega]

No liking or loving? That just sounds like bad sex. Is that really the correct definition of a bisexual? It sounds wrong but ahhh. I'm not really in the mood for a debate.

There is just as much bad sex between men and women, by that criteria, and nobody argues that it isn't heterosex because it's bad. It isn't the quality of the sex that defines the bisexual, it's the fact that they are attracted to both sexes-- in whatever proportion.

Ahhhhh each to their own. If you don't like someone and/or love someone and you fuck them and walk away it's none of my business.

True, that.

 

[vrosej10]

I'm curious about how many guys who visit the GLBT forum are victims of what I have officially named "Vanilla Wife Syndrome"?

VWS seems to most commonly afflict mature men whose libidos have stayed the same (or grown) while their wife's has dwindled. Specifically, the typical VWS sufferer is a 40- or 50-something guy whose fantasies and sex drive are stronger than ever but who believes that his spouse is barely interested in anything beyond obligatory, once-a-month, "just stick it in, get it over with and let me watch Leno" intercourse in the good-old missionary position.

Oral? No way. Sexy lingerie? Forget it. Tie each other up? Get out of here you pervert! Whatever floats your love boat, she won't do it. Or at least you think she won't do it.

It seems like I've seen hundreds of references by guys who characterize their wives as "vanilla" because they're seemingly sexually disinterested. A few secretly turn to bisexuality or at least bicuriousity to fill the gap between an unsatisfying reality and very vivid fantasy. I know I did at one point in my life.

Chime in if this sounds familiar. I'm equally curious about the ladies here who've experienced Vanilla Husband Syndrome (which I suspect is less common but still quite real) and turned to toys or even playing with other women as a result.

BTW, despite my tone, I'm not poking fun at this...I know it's a very real and very frustrating thing to have a dramatic imbalance between your desires and your partner's. Just curious about what others think.

I've got a bit of Vanilla Husband Syndrome. I am kinky and he's not. The sex is still great and I think will remain so but there is shit I'd like to get up to that he's not into at all. I am bi myself and I have married to the only man on earth who is not interested in the lesbian thing, so no lesbian porn which I would enjoy.

 

[girlsmiley]

There is just as much bad sex between men and women, by that criteria, and nobody argues that it isn't heterosex because it's bad. It isn't the quality of the sex that defines the bisexual, it's the fact that they are attracted to both sexes-- in whatever proportion.True, that.

but, but... Ahhhhh

 

[Stella_Omega]

but, but... Ahhhhh

Ahhhh?

You rang?

 

[bi_female_69]

here here your so spot on !!!! pm me

 

[LeatherChaps]

Um.

The woman posting as Safe_Bet is, without a doubt a member of the GLBT community, as lesbian as it's possible to get. This is something many of us know, and you, lustatopia, are now discovering. Don't condescend unless you know you can get away with it.

Sure, she's acidic and abrasive. She gets to be. She's earned a lot of honor and respect. Her anger is not irrational. Her reactions are based on a long lifetime of living in a homophobic, anti-feminist world.

She's paid dues, dude, that you haven't ever been asked to consider. You wouldn't last a mile in her shoes, I can guarantee you that.

This doesnt give her a right to be abusive arrogant or rude to those that never even met her. Everyone has been treated unjustly in their lives, but its no excuse to act as she does. (And to assert that because she is a lesbian her life is axiomatically more difficult than others is purely an assumption and not a fact.) Whoever said that her tactics are all to similar to some busybody social conservative was dead on.

Lest we forget... she is NOT a moderator on here (and I shudder at the thought of someone with her attitude becoming one).

 

[girlsmiley]

This doesnt give her a right to be abusive arrogant or rude to those that never even met her. Everyone has been treated unjustly in their lives, but its no excuse to act as she does. (And to assert that because she is a lesbian her life is axiomatically more difficult than others is purely an assumption and not a fact.) Whoever said that her tactics are all to similar to some busybody social conservative was dead on.

Lest we forget... she is NOT a moderator on here (and I shudder at the thought of someone with her attitude becoming one).

Can I just say something? Your avatar doesn't really match your comment lol



I know, I know. You can cyber smack me

 

[LeatherChaps]

Can I just say something? Your avatar doesn't really match your comment lol



I know, I know. You can cyber smack me

Unlike what some seem to think around here... you can say whatever you want.

(...but Im not sure I know what you're talking about )

 

[Stella_Omega]

This doesnt give her a right to be abusive arrogant or rude to those that never even met her. Everyone has been treated unjustly in their lives, but its no excuse to act as she does. (And to assert that because she is a lesbian her life is axiomatically more difficult than others is purely an assumption and not a fact.) Whoever said that her tactics are all to similar to some busybody social conservative was dead on.

Lest we forget... she is NOT a moderator on here (and I shudder at the thought of someone with her attitude becoming one).

I wasn't talking theoretically. I know for a fact that her life has been extremely difficult because she's a lesbian. Not necessarily more or less than any other gay or lesbian, I am not playing the comparison game here-- but this IS the GLBT board, and the difficulties of GLBT life have to be acknowledged here-- or else, where?

Yes, she's abrasive. She's said things to me that made my eyes water from the fumes. But if you want to complain that people don't "have the right" to say something on literotica--- best of luck with that. It is what it is, kinda thing. If you think she's a troll, put her on ignore.

 

[girlsmiley]

Unlike what some seem to think around here... you can say whatever you want.
Then why are you getting upset about Safe Bet? Come on mate. Harden up.

(...but Im not sure I know what you're talking about )

Your avatar is a picture of a poser/tough guy type in chaps. Do you really wear chaps to keep your pants clean?



Edit: Are those even chaps? The don't look like chaps from here. I don't really want to look closer...

 

[jackstud]

Can I just say something? Your avatar doesn't really match your comment lol



I know, I know. You can cyber smack me

GIRL, I think it does match a sweet sexy compassionate Man.

 

[girlsmiley]

GIRL, I think it does match a sweet sexy compassionate Man.

I think you just want to get into his chaps...

 

[jackstud]

 

[Stella_Omega]

GIRL, I think it does match a sweet sexy compassionate Man.

I agree, those are sweet, sexy compassionate chaps.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Lest we forget... she is NOT a moderator on here (and I shudder at the thought of someone with her attitude becoming one).

Well let us just say I have known a moderator on another board who went Bugger All Crazy, and it was not fun being around him. Sadly the moderators here are not allowed to be firmer in their moderating skills like on other forums. Or at least that is what I understand when it comes to this board, so basically in some ways Etoile has to be a Gandhi of all things, when it comes to being a moderator here. Which basically means, we have to fend for ourselves, and the occasional support that comes in comments from other members who feels the shit is getting too hot and things are getting to vivid or vile and so on and so forth.

 

[LeatherChaps]

Unlike what some seem to think around here... you can say whatever you want.
Then why are you getting upset about Safe Bet? Come on mate. Harden up.

I just dont like people who cant mind their own business. Nor those that try to impose their will over others. Im funny that way.

(...but Im not sure I know what you're talking about )

Your avatar is a picture of a poser/tough guy type in chaps. Do you really wear chaps to keep your pants clean?


Edit: Are those even chaps? The don't look like chaps from here. I don't really want to look closer...

I dont expect you to understand.... and really, you shouldnt try.

 

[girlsmiley]

I dont expect you to understand.... and really, you shouldnt try.

Understand what? Haha! Aww come on mate don't go all soft on me lol

I understand chaps perfectly well, I have worn them but not to look like I'm something I'm not.

Take it easy, champ.

 

[lustatopia]

I agree with this. I am not a fan of straight/curious girls who all of a sudden want to borrow my body for a few hours because I am a lesbian and they think it would be cool.

How would a man feel if I just fucked him and left? “Thanks mate, bye.”
That would make me a slut, wouldn’t it? The answer is, AHYEAH.

It pissed me off when people say, “I don’t LOVE him it’s just sex, so all you gay people don’t judge me because I’m bisexual and you don’t know anything about being bisexual.”

Bitch please.

Sounds like SLUT to me. Nothing to do with GLBT, just some slut/abuser who is trying to use a label to justify their slutty behaviour.

Yeah.

Wow. I find it amazing how a certain segment of our alt sexuality population has morphed into reactionary moralistic wowsers. Slutty behavior? Please, Grandma, stop! Reserve your Sharia Gay law judgement for your own life. Judge not those whom you do not know.

I suppose this state of affair was predictable. Give the GLBT culture some legitimacy and the moralistic Dr. Helens will start to come out of the woodwork to impose a new orthodoxy upon us all.

You don't like hot straight girls who want to borrow your body for a few hours? Fine. Send them over to me!

One woman's SLUT is another man's/woman's, well, SLUT. Personally, I like sluts. That's the way some of us roll.

Philosophically, existentially and ontological, love is NOT sex. Those who confuse Love with the physical act of fucking are destined to be unhappy.

That said, I totally respect and defend Girlsmiley's right to express her ignorance and intolerance and live her life as she best sees fit by the light of her own special dark cave.

 

[girlsmiley]

Wow. I find it amazing how a certain segment of our alt sexuality population has morphed into reactionary moralistic wowsers. Slutty behavior? Please, Grandma, stop! Reserve your Sharia Gay law judgement for your own life. Judge not those whom you do not know.

I suppose this state of affair was predictable. Give the GLBT culture some legitimacy and the moralistic Dr. Helens will start to come out of the woodwork to impose a new orthodoxy upon us all.

You don't like hot straight girls who want to borrow your body for a few hours? Fine. Send them over to me!

One woman's SLUT is another man's/woman's, well, SLUT. Personally, I like sluts. That's the way some of us roll.

Philosophically, existentially and ontological, love is NOT sex. Those who confuse Love with the physical act of fucking are destined to be unhappy.

That said, I totally respect and defend Girlsmiley's right to express her ignorance and intolerance and live her life as she best sees fit by the light of her own special dark cave.

Judge? Where the hellll did you get that IDEA? There are sluts everywhere. I'm sure you know where they hang out. Ignorance? Puhlease. Like I said, sleep with whatever you want to sleep with. Enjoy.

Timewasters...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Judge? Where the hellll did you get that IDEA?

I reacted to the judgmental tone in your post, too.

It might have had something to do with the CAPITOLS, and the repeated use of the word slut. That last line, when you slash "slut" with "abuser" maybe.