Ways to Shore Up My Marriage?

[bobsgirl]

bobsgirl
Either which way, I ain't givin' up.
I wonder how many relationships have been destroyed because people could not say what you have just said.

Yeah there are some bloody big bumps in the road, but there are lots of smooth straights too.

Good luck.

Love your AVs, they always make me smile.

Thanks Q. They make me smile too.

Yes, there are lots of smooth straights too. MrB and I still laugh with each other and are good friends right to the bone. There is still alot that works very well in my marriage. So I have hope.

 

[Nightbird]

In the words in Red Green and the Man's Prayer..

"I'm a man but I can change if I have to I guess."

 

[crazybbwgirl]

In the words in Red Green and the Man's Prayer..

"I'm a man but I can change if I have to I guess."

If the women don't find you attractive they better at least find you handy.

 

[bobsgirl]

If the women don't find you attractive they better at least find you handy.

Two words: duct tape.

 

[Bobmi357]

Duct Tape????

You've forgotten the all purpose handyman's visegrip and Superglue!

 

[Nightbird]

Keep your stick on the Ice.

 

[hausfrau]

LMAO! I love Red Green. Anyone else have the hots for Harold?? (Can't believe I'm admitting that).

 

[crazybbwgirl]

LMAO! I love Red Green. Anyone else have the hots for Harold?? (Can't believe I'm admitting that).

No way - I'm all about Ranger Gord!

 

[hausfrau]

LMAO! Ranger Gord!!! I LOVE that show.

 

[Kissophile]

Two words: duct tape.

One more word: WD40.

 

[Bobmi357]

Since we've beaten Bobsgirl's problem to death and talked endlessly about the problems men have with discussing their feelings, lets change the direction of this thread somewhat and talk about that can be done to keep a relatively good relationship spicy....

Anyone?

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Since we've beaten Bobsgirl's problem to death and talked endlessly about the problems men have with discussing their feelings, lets change the direction of this thread somewhat and talk about that can be done to keep a relatively good relationship spicy....

Anyone?

I think being spontaneous is very important for keeping that spark alive! And being spontaneous is very hard for me and my partner. We are old creatures of habit who thrive on routine. Once in a while I try to do something like - slip him a racey email - sometimes with a racey picture attached. Or sneak a fun toy into bed with us. Or while he's travelling I like to tell him a dirty story - especially if he's calling me from the bar/restaurant where he happens to be dining that nite. Its hard work - I knw - but somebody's got to do it! lol

 

[Kissophile]

Since we've beaten Bobsgirl's problem to death and talked endlessly about the problems men have with discussing their feelings, lets change the direction of this thread somewhat and talk about that can be done to keep a relatively good relationship spicy....

Anyone?

I rely on good chili with a few sport peppers on the side.

 

[Quoll]

I think being spontaneous is very important for keeping that spark alive! And being spontaneous is very hard for me and my partner. We are old creatures of habit who thrive on routine. Once in a while I try to do something like - slip him a racey email - sometimes with a racey picture attached. Or sneak a fun toy into bed with us. Or while he's travelling I like to tell him a dirty story - especially if he's calling me from the bar/restaurant where he happens to be dining that nite. Its hard work - I know - but somebody's got to do it! lol

It seems to take a lot of hard work these days to be spontaneous, and when, if, the opportunity arrives, all too often we find excuses not to do anything.

Yet when we do, we kick ourselves for not doing it more often.
One of the best experiences we had recently was just before christmas, I had been working 25 days straight, and really wasn`t up to much when I got home, yet we both said that during the day it was all we could think about.
I had one day when I finished early, had the depot to myself. I knew my wife was in town as well, I sent her a text message to meet me there, we climbed into the back of one of the trucks, it was hot, dirty and great.
I`m really looking forward to another early finish.

 

[SweetErika]

Since we've beaten Bobsgirl's problem to death and talked endlessly about the problems men have with discussing their feelings, lets change the direction of this thread somewhat and talk about that can be done to keep a relatively good relationship spicy....

Anyone?

For us, I think it's the little things that keep the connection going. For example, we frequently shower together... it gives us the opportunity to be close, take care of eachother (e.g. shampooing, scrubbing backs/bodies, etc.), and often start something that will be picked up later.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

For us, I think it's the little things that keep the connection going. For example, we frequently shower together... it gives us the opportunity to be close, take care of eachother (e.g. shampooing, scrubbing backs/bodies, etc.), and often start something that will be picked up later.

geesh - we haven't showered together in ages! When did we stop doing that? Seems like he's already jumped in to the shower before I get there or vice versa. Well - we've got a weekend road trip to VA this weekend - and I'm jumping in the shower with him!

 

[Quoll]

For us, I think it's the little things that keep the connection going. For example, we frequently shower together... it gives us the opportunity to be close, take care of eachother (e.g. shampooing, scrubbing backs/bodies, etc.), and often start something that will be picked up later.

We love showering together, but the last time we did that it cost us $300 to replace the broken glass.

 

[bobsgirl]

We love showering together, but the last time we did that it cost us $300 to replace the broken glass.

Was it worth it?

 

[Quoll]

Was it worth it?

Oooh yeah. Still brings a smile to my face.

One other thing I do, on the rare occasions when there are no kids in the car and my wife is driving.
Tell her exactly what I would like to do to her, depending on how long the trip is it can get quite involved.

 

[Quoll]

Another one worth bumping.

 

[Quoll]

Since we've beaten Bobsgirl's problem to death and talked endlessly about the problems men have with discussing their feelings, lets change the direction of this thread somewhat and talk about that can be done to keep a relatively good relationship spicy....

Anyone?

Since this thread dealt a lot with trying to understand the male ego, perhaps now it is time for the ladies to teach us about theirs.

 

[ken0000001]

Me too

I have been married for 27 years to a good man. Lately though I have been feeling very troubled. I never thought I'd say this, but recently I have been questioning the condition my marriage is in.

I have to stress, MrB is a good man. He is loyal, a good provider, and he's never ever given me reason to doubt his love. Our sex life has always been fairly active, if routine.

I know I have it better than a lot of women, I know I do. But I am so discontent. I don't want a divorce, I don't think, but the prospect of spending the rest of my life feeling like this fills me with dread. I don't want to start resenting him for nothing more than being the man he is. He hasn't done anything wrong. Maybe it's me.

Anybody have any thoughts on this? I want us both to want to be married to each other.

(BTW, thanks, Bobmi)

I told my wife of 36 years that I wanted to have another love affair once before I die - she looked at me blankly and I said "with you" as I am still attracted to her - but it is just not in the cards which is why I seek out women who are in a similar situation to see if they, in their wildest of dreams, want to meet a man who will make them excited again, while maintaining my marriage. I have yet to meet anyone, but would you like to explore?

 

[M's girl]

Haha, Ken 'really really experienced".... have you noticed how long ago this whole thing was? Our Bobsgirl could have devorced and remarry in the meantime!

Liked the way you told your wife how you wanted to have an affair with her. That's cute. It takes a little more than just that one line though when you've been growing apart for some time. If you say you still love(d) her when you said this... isn't there just a little bit more of that love left to make a better effort instead of hitting on (for example) our cutie boobs?

 

[ken0000001]

Haha, Ken 'really really experienced".... have you noticed how long ago this whole thing was? Our Bobsgirl could have devorced and remarry in the meantime!

Liked the way you told your wife how you wanted to have an affair with her. That's cute. It takes a little more than just that one line though when you've been growing apart for some time. If you say you still love(d) her when you said this... isn't there just a little bit more of that love left to make a better effort instead of hitting on (for example) our cutie boobs?

Rose, I appreciate your saying that, but the history is such that I am always the romantic. Been married three times (once in a surprise in a butte overlooking Sedona NM) and numerous other attempts.

I have made every single effort possible - you have no idea.

In any case, a woman's breasts, in my humble opinion, are a work of art - to be admired at the wonder that makes those curves that make a man all flutter. Why is that, I wonder - the need to procreate in a man stays longer than a woman, we know that - maybe that explains it.

It is a wonderment.

 

[M's girl]

In any case, a woman's breasts, in my humble opinion, are a work of art - to be admired at the wonder that makes those curves that make a man all flutter. Why is that, I wonder - the need to procreate in a man stays longer than a woman, we know that - maybe that explains it.

It is a wonderment.

Yeah, if we only knew that.... it would solve a lot of problems Although I'm sure the drift is no longer a need to procreate for the longest time already... why would condoms and the like have been invented otherwise?

If it's true, like you say, that the need to procreate stays longer with men than with women it's because the consequences for men are different (easier) than they are for women. Not in all cases, and I'm not a feminist but I do think that is true. Men can walk away from their offspring and often enough do... that's a lot harder for women (for many reasons and not only the practical ones) to do.

But that's a whole other discussion isn't it?

I admire you for trying in such romantic ways to get the spirit back into your marriage. Yeah... sometimes it just doesn't work anymore. People grow apart for many reasons. Sometimes done is just done.

My reasoning (I've never been married but have been in long-term-relationships) has always been that you FIRST end the existing relationship before you start a new one. I think that's only fair to someone you've been with for such a long time. To give them the same option as you, namely to move on.