Weirdest erotica you've read?

[TheExperimentalist]

I don't necessarily mean the thing that includes the most out there or unrealistic sex acts, though it can include that, I mean stories where the writing is truly bizarre. It also doesn't have to have been on Lit (probably better if not, to be honest.)

For me, it's a story I read probably twenty years ago on some random site about a woman who was getting off on tearing pages out of books and shoving them up herself. There were (not verbatim, but just what I recall) bizarre lines such as "serious works in my pussy, comedy in my ass, that was the rule" and "I carefully opened the page and saw I'd rewritten Joyce with my pussy! It was then I knew I wanted to be a writer."

I still wonder about it sometimes.

ETA: I found it, and it's even weirder than I remembered. She recommends using a pocket dictionary as a tampon (well worn and rolled up, of course), claims to have shoved an entire filing cabinet up there (on a dare), and also starts shoplifting by casually rubbing up against stuff and getting it stuck to her apparently gluelike vaginal fluid (including a sofa, somehow?) I'm not going to link it because I think parts of it violate Lit rules, but if anyone is curious, the search terms pussy ass "rewritten joyce" (with the quotes) is how I found it again. It's actually rather short, but be warned, it's odd.

So, what's the weirdest erotic story you've read?

 

[StillStunned]

I'm not sure I even want to hear about anything that can top that...

 

[Erozetta]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

I'm not sure I even want to hear about anything that can top that...

It topped itself. See my edit above.

 

[redgarters]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

That was... wtf did I just read? Brilliant story!

 

[ElectricBlue]

So, what's the weirdest erotic story you've read?

My own: The Fantastic Hotel and its sequel The Fantastic Hotel Part 2

One cannot go past a spider in a top hat and moth in a clinging blue dress, nor a mantis thief who wears green, and his amour, a lady beetle who might be from Paris.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

In duplicate and triplicate.

This story is quintessential magic, and disturbingly, a strange kind of turn on. I want to meet a pixie clown girl just like Ms Bonkers.

 

[SirCharles01]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

Incredibly erotic. And agreed.. needs more attention.

 

[alohadave]

Girlfriend with Testing Device

Strange and trippy, lots of body and bodypart swaps.

 

[AG31]

I wish I could remember the name of this story. It was about a person who was put in the hands of an arousal machine. It was totally improbably and totally erotic.

 

[SimonDoom]

I do not recall the name of the story, but it was a story from a few years back, published here, about a couple who turn into banana slugs and then are eaten.

That was even weirder than EB's story, which was, nevertheless, high on the weird list.

My weirdest story, I suppose, is Penis Fish, about aliens that look like penises, impregnate women, and take over the world.

 

[BeechLeaf]

Oh yes! Thank you for introducing me to Ms. Bonkers - weird as all git out, yet properly written and properly sexy too.

I recall a fanfic somewhere, Sam slash Gandalf, which I recommended to a friend with the warning that after reading it you'll want to drink bleach and jump vigorously up and down to get it into every part of your brain.

 

[MK_Whimsy]

"I carefully opened the page and saw I'd rewritten Joyce with my pussy! It was then I knew I wanted to be a writer."

Oh yes, the Infinite Pussies Theorem. Get enough books in enough pussies and one of them might do that.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I said it before, and I'll say it again: Story of the Eye is the best work of erotica ever written. It's also one of the most bizarre works, and I'm still looking for something that can top that. So far I haven't found anything.

I don't necessarily mean the thing that includes the most out there or unrealistic sex acts, though it can include that, I mean stories where the writing is truly bizarre. It also doesn't have to have been on Lit (probably better if not, to be honest.)

For me, it's a story I read probably twenty years ago on some random site about a woman who was getting off on tearing pages out of books and shoving them up herself. There were (not verbatim, but just what I recall) bizarre lines such as "serious works in my pussy, comedy in my ass, that was the rule" and "I carefully opened the page and saw I'd rewritten Joyce with my pussy! It was then I knew I wanted to be a writer."

I still wonder about it sometimes.

ETA: I found it, and it's even weirder than I remembered. She recommends using a pocket dictionary as a tampon (well worn and rolled up, of course), claims to have shoved an entire filing cabinet up there (on a dare), and also starts shoplifting by casually rubbing up against stuff and getting it stuck to her apparently gluelike vaginal fluid (including a sofa, somehow?) I'm not going to link it because I think parts of it violate Lit rules, but if anyone is curious, the search terms pussy ass "rewritten joyce" (with the quotes) is how I found it again. It's actually rather short, but be warned, it's odd.

As a librarian I'm a little bit perturbed, but as someone who loves the weird stuff like that, all I have to say is "NICE!"

I wouldn't mind someone shoving a zine I made into their holes. Actually, I'll take that as a compliment.

I do not recall the name of the story, but it was a story from a few years back, published here, about a couple who turn into banana slugs and then are eaten.

That was even weirder than EB's story, which was, nevertheless, high on the weird list.

My weirdest story, I suppose, is Penis Fish, about aliens that look like penises, impregnate women, and take over the world.

Vore fetish with transformation. Gregor Samsa meets the girl who eats live bugs and records herself eating them for money. I'm pretty fucked up in the head to say this isn't exactly the weirdest thing I've seen. Years back someone was arrested on animal cruelty charges around my area for making crush fetish content involving live animals, so I'm not impressed.

Penis Fish sounds funny as hell though.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

That's the first thing that popped to mind. Though now, it has to compete with the stepladder story... But Ms.Bonkers is a whole 'nother level of *ahem* clownin' around.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

That was... wtf did I just read? Brilliant story!

^ that was my reaction when I read it LOL

 

[Mastered_again]

I'll skip the road less travelled. Just the synopses alone are enough to creep me out.
That, and my Coulrophobia

 

[TheExperimentalist]

That's the first thing that popped to mind. Thought now, it has to compete with the stepladder story... But Ms.Bonkers is a whole 'nother level of *ahem* clownin' around.

Here's the thing, though this thread was, in fact, partly inspired by the stepladder story having triggered the memory of the other story I mentioned, I honestly don't think it's all that weird in and of itself. I think stuff hits the weird buttons a lot less when it's clearly written in jest than when it's something that appears to be taking itself very seriously. The entire premise of Stepladder is the pun, so it's not like 'how does a mind even come up with something this wacky', at least in my opinion. (But what do I know? I've never been accused of being normal.)

 

[BeechLeaf]

No, the stepladder story is brilliant, but once the initial plot bunny parasitizes your brain, a lot of it writes itself. The clown one... in the various ways it... in the... what the hell? That wasn't one very good idea, that was a whole lot of mad ideas tumbling over each other.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

Here's the thing, though this thread was, in fact, partly inspired by the stepladder story having triggered the memory of the other story I mentioned, I honestly don't think it's all that weird in and of itself. I think stuff hits the weird buttons a lot less when it's clearly written in jest than when it's something that appears to be taking itself very seriously. The entire premise of Stepladder is the pun, so it's not like 'how does a mind even come up with something this wacky', at least in my opinion. (But what do I know? I've never been accused of being normal.)

That makes sense. I mean, as much as erotica written around clowns who casts spells or 'erotic books, aka masturbatory toys' ever do.

 

[AStrangeDesire]

No, the stepladder story is brilliant, but once the initial plot bunny parasitizes your brain, a lot of it writes itself. The clown one... in the various ways it... in the... what the hell? That wasn't one very good idea, that was a whole lot of mad ideas tumbling over each other.

Yeah, it's on it's own level.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

That makes sense. I mean, as much as erotica written around clowns who casts spells or 'erotic books, aka masturbatory toys' ever do.

I can see that today, of all days, was not the right day for me, of all people, to begin this topic, of all topics. (My anger is facetious and in good humor, by the way, just to avoid any misunderstandings.)

 

[AStrangeDesire]

I can see that today, of all days, was not the right day for me, of all people, to begin this topic, of all topics. (My anger is facetious and in good humor, by the way, just to avoid any misunderstandings.)

Ha!

Good, then ignore the DM I just sent you LOL

 

[ChuckWolf]

I pretty much have zero interest in novelty erotica or performatively weird fetishes and if a story starts going in that direction, I'm pretty much out.

That said, there was a hypnosis-femdom story, HypnoSister written by FranZam (a married couple) about a sister(not a fan of that part) Hypnotizing her brother into situations involving public nudity. It's probably findable online.

If erotic graphic novels count, two that are kinda weird that I greatly enjoyed are these two:


Both are sort of the same femdom-related kink of supernatural dream-creatures taking advantage of mortals while they sleep and forcing them into kinky submissive dream-scenarios.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.

After that pitch, it was hard not to go and read that story. A crazy, hilarious idea, and quite refreshing. I have some mixed feelings about the way it was told, though.