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Weirdest erotica you've read?

Mine is more gross than weird. I don't have much of anything on my bookshelves. I acquired it when a friend's father was getting rid of his porn collection and it was in the box along with the Playboys and 1960s nudist magazines. Don't recall the title much less the author. It was underground porn.

Anyway, this book is also from the '60s, classic pulp porn from the era. Read it once, which was quite enough. Basic plot was a psychiatrist and female clientele whose therapy in their sexual dysfunction was supervising their union with a chimpanzee. If I read "baseball bat" describing the genitalia once, I read it a hundred times. Obviously no basis in reality. It might still be in the box that has been moved probably a dozen times. If I still have it, it needs to go into the shredder.

The score from the Playboy collection was the Vanna White issue. There was also a thick scrapbook of pages and clippings from nudie magazines. Roughly 15 years ago I riffled through it and realized some (but not much) were obviously under-age, some extremely so. Those saw the shredder immediately. Friend's dad was a major pervert.
 
God, everyone keeps talking about this clown story and I've only had sporadic moments throughout the day to check in so I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet! I feel so left out!
 
MrPixel said:
Anyway, this book is also from the '60s, classic pulp porn from the era. Read it once, which was quite enough. Basic plot was a psychiatrist and female clientele whose therapy in their sexual dysfunction was supervising their union with a chimpanzee. If I read "baseball bat" describing the genitalia once, I read it a hundred times. Obviously no basis in reality. It might still be in the box that has been moved probably a dozen times. If I still have it, it needs to go into the shredder.
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Dont; send it to me. I'm growing my collection of pulp fiction as I speak!

Or at least DM the data if you manage to find it so I can track it down. I found a vendor here who deals with pulp fiction, and fittingly they sell them quite cheap. I got three more Chandler stories and the full novelization of King Kong for just 2 George Washington portraits.

TheExperimentalist said:
God, everyone keeps talking about this clown story and I've only had sporadic moments throughout the day to check in so I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet! I feel so left out!
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Are you too thinking about her boobies going honk honk after getting squeezed?
 
Erozetta said:
Ms. Bonkers by LessThanAWord


And I cannot stress how much I love this story. I have become Pavlovian with it. If someone mentions clown or pretty much anything that triggers a memory of something in this story, I post the link and encourage reading it. I have *tried* to not post it and it stresses me out so bad.

I have gotten other people to start posting it if I'm asleep...

This story... It needs to be read by everyone and I don't care if the people who read it hate it. It needs to be read by everyone. It is my goal to get as many authors as I possibly can to read and comment on this story. It is just so god damned fun, whimsical, and outright batshit crazy absurd.

Manic pixie clown girl, indeed.
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Thanks for the recommendation. It doesn't do anything for me, kink-wise, but that is such a well written story, such a pleasure to read. Colour me jealous.
 
I would be remiss if I did not also mention one of my favorites of my stories, Teddy Bear, about a woman who finds a large toy bear on her doorstep one day, origin unknown, and ends up having an intimate relationship with it. One of my three stories to earn a "W," this one for the annual Toys & Masturbation contest.

This story had some of the most fun passages to write in my experience as a writer, including this one:

She stared at Teddy Bear, propped up against a kitchen cabinet.

She pushed her hand against his heart.

The deep voice rumbled in response.

"I'm Teddy Bear, and I want to fuck you."
Click to expand...
 
KittyOfSteele said:
Dont; send it to me. I'm growing my collection of pulp fiction as I speak!

Or at least DM the data if you manage to find it so I can track it down. I found a vendor here who deals with pulp fiction, and fittingly they sell them quite cheap. I got three more Chandler stories and the full novelization of King Kong for just 2 George Washington portraits.



Are you too thinking about her boobies going honk honk after getting squeezed?
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'Chandler' as in Raymond Chandler? If so, nice.

I need to pick his stuff back up, I think the last one of his I read was 'Lady of the Lake'.

If a different Chandler, then never mind :)
 
AwkwardlySet said:
After that pitch, it was hard not to go and read that story. A crazy, hilarious idea, and quite refreshing. I have some mixed feelings about the way it was told, though.
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Absolutely fair!

I just... @LessThanAWord is a damn good writer and deserves more acknowledgement. The creativity involved in that story alone makes me beam when I get others to read it.

It's not a story that is going to be for everyone, but it is a story that has merit in storytelling. Particularly with the fact that even without dialogue, Ms. Bonkers is so emotive and memorable throughout. That was absolutely my favorite part of it. That characterization that is both minimalist and extreme in different ways.

This was a story that said "Fuck the expectations, I'm making art." And I just love that to pieces.
 
AStrangeDesire said:
'Chandler' as in Raymond Chandler? If so, nice.

I need to pick his stuff back up, I think the last one of his I read was 'Lady of the Lake'.

If a different Chandler, then never mind :)
Click to expand...

Yep, Raymond Chandler. It's his short stories though. No Marlowe, but this one little book has Red Wind, which pretty much carries his most famous opening paragraph.
 
I tend much more to the realistic myself, but a friend once responded to a fanfic-giving event with a story of Care Bear porn.

All I remember was there was a conspiracy to cheer up Grumpy Bear and it ended up with a bear gang-bang and Funshine Bear 'ejaculating with a stream of little hearts". It was oddly compelling.
 
HordHolm said:
I didn't know it was possible to snort a tortilla out of one's nose. And now I do...
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I think it's this one: Slave Bear of Care-a-Lot
Summary: Oh, no! What will the Care Bears do when Grumpy loses the worst thing of all - his ability to care? Only love will save the day.

I'd forgotten the BDSM, abuse of marshmallow fluff, and my horror at the phrase "his care channel"...
 
Kumquatqueen said:
I think it's this one: Slave Bear of Care-a-Lot
Summary: Oh, no! What will the Care Bears do when Grumpy loses the worst thing of all - his ability to care? Only love will save the day.

I'd forgotten the BDSM, abuse of marshmallow fluff, and my horror at the phrase "his care channel"...
Click to expand...
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I have assignments to mark and lessons to prepare...

You have no idea how hard it is to put off reading this until later.
 
KittyOfSteele said:
Dont; send it to me. I'm growing my collection of pulp fiction as I speak!

Or at least DM the data if you manage to find it so I can track it down.
Click to expand...

No luck. Just unburied the box, and it's gone. I must have disposed of it the same time I shredded Charles' kiddie shit. Noticed stuff in the box that needs to visit the shredder as well.

I look back 50 years, hanging with my college buds at this particular friends' parents' place. Dad would drag out a projector and his collection of "loops", 8mm reels from old peepshow booths. Nasty stuff. We were amused when it was revealed that he'd cut any "golden shower" scenes from the films. I guess we all have our squicks. OTOH, in retrospect, we eventually learned other things about his predilections, where the likelihood his inviting a bunch of 20-something men to his home to watch porn was to set at least one of us up with his wife, who was apparently complicit. I was beyond naïve so it all bounced off me entirely at the time; can't speak for the other guys. 😱
 
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