Well...I said no...

[thatgirl2136]

.....

 

[infinity706]

If he just stuck his finger inside you, there's not really any chance you're pregnant.

 

[nipple jewelry]

If he just stuck his finger inside you, there's not really any chance you're pregnant.

No, I think she meant it was not his finger but his cock!

Did he cum inside you? if he did, and you are not pregnant, you should still be checked for STD's. if the asshole has not spoken to you since, you need to get checked.

did you learn a lesson? I hope so!

V

 

[thatgirl2136]

No, I think she meant it was not his finger but his cock!

Did he cum inside you? if he did, and you are not pregnant, you should still be checked for STD's. if the asshole has not spoken to you since, you need to get checked.

did you learn a lesson? I hope so!

V

He came a couple times there's one that i'm unsure of because I squirt and I don't know if he did.

I know I need to go in to get checked, that's for sure.

I definitely did.

 

[thatgirl2136]

If he just stuck his finger inside you, there's not really any chance you're pregnant.

I think you missed what I was saying....

 

[infinity706]

No, I think she meant it was not his finger but his cock!

Did he cum inside you? if he did, and you are not pregnant, you should still be checked for STD's. if the asshole has not spoken to you since, you need to get checked.

did you learn a lesson? I hope so!

V

Yeah, that would make sense, but after some of the questions I've been asked over the years, I just take things at face value until I get clarification.

Now, in the event that it was his cock, the answer is still most likely no. Even if he didn't cum inside her, though, it's still a possiblity, though, since precum contains some sperm.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Not stupid at all! Sadly, one of thousands, if not more, of women whose first time was essentially rape... It's unfortunate he so ignored your wishes and doubles his sin by being such an ass to you now. Gotta love guys!

Unfortunately I can't help you in the plan b department, hopefully someone can give you more personal advice. you should be ok though, as far as pregnency goes. hopefully you will find a guy who is a bit more of a man and willing to listen and take your desires into consideration rather than being so selfish and abusive.

 

[infinity706]

The morning after pill would be a perfectly fine idea. You should be able to get it from a doctor, Planned Parenthood, or the health department. It's basically a high dose birth control pill that needs to be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex. It will probably make you a bit sick, though, so be prepared for that.

 

[thatgirl2136]

The morning after pill would be a perfectly fine idea. You should be able to get it from a doctor, Planned Parenthood, or the health department. It's basically a high dose birth control pill that needs to be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex. It will probably make you a bit sick, though, so be prepared for that.

I've already taken it....but it's not 100% effective which is why I was wondering if women who have taken it have had it work for them in the past.

 

[thatgirl2136]

Not stupid at all! Sadly, one of thousands, if not more, of women whose first time was essentially rape... It's unfortunate he so ignored your wishes and doubles his sin by being such an ass to you now. Gotta love guys!

Unfortunately I can't help you in the plan b department, hopefully someone can give you more personal advice. you should be ok though, as far as pregnency goes. hopefully you will find a guy who is a bit more of a man and willing to listen and take your desires into consideration rather than being so selfish and abusive.

I wish he listened to me too instead of just doing it. I think it hurts more that he won't even talk to me now....

I hope so.
Thanks for the reply

 

[Lost_Yonder]

don't let what happen to you be a reflection of you - he's the stupid one (and much worse) not you. the fact that you are willing to share what happened is a good step, allowing you to stand above his abusive immaturity.

Good luck!

 

[operaBaritone]

Don't fret over non-100%-hood. For two reasons...

The numbers are a bit tricky, suffice it to say that it overall ends up being less than 1/2 of 1 percent chance (the efficacy numbers are a bit harder to read than it first seems).

And, be smart, not fearful. By that I mean, do not worry more than enough to go through the procedures to make sure you are not, do not presumptively assume you are.

(I know, as a man I really have NO business telling you how you should feel about this, I just want to give the mildest food for thought)

Be well, and I'm so sorry for the unfortunate (to say the VERY least) event.

EDIT: In my extremely humble opinion, if you have any inclination towards seeking help for the emotional strain, do so. (I mean through a counselor of some sort) Though I can't read your mind, I could see how this really could be extremely emotionally traumatic... and from my own experience, letting this kind of thing fester is NOT good. I can talk to you further about my experience with this kind of help if you have any questions.

 

[infinity706]

I've already taken it....but it's not 100% effective which is why I was wondering if women who have taken it have had it work for them in the past.

To be honest, I've never met anyone that got pregnant after taking it. Of course, the chances of getting pregnant after having sex only one time aren't really that great to begin with. In the future, though, I'd seriously recommend getting birth control pills and bringing condoms with you any time you go on a date. It's probably wise to bring more than one as well because you can't count on anyone else to have one and you should use a new one every time you have sex. Plus, it's possible that one could be defective and you probably don't want to have to rush out to get more in the middle of the action. Even if you're not planning on having sex, you should always prepare for every date like it's going to happen. That way, if things do get hot and heavy, you'll be prepared.

 

[Adakgirl]

I made it very clear I would not have sex with him (especially because he did not have a condom) well we were getting pretty heated orally and such then we were making out with him ontop of me.

Ok well...I am not blaming you for this but if you make it very clear to a guy that you are not going to have sex with him...then you do not allow the petting to get that far at all. You stop him in his tracks and you do not let it get to the point that he is on top of you and you are under his control with no way out. Do you understand what I am saying here?

If you say no you have to back that up with your behavior, you don't go ahead and make out with them hot and heavy and let them crawl on top of you then wonder why they didn't listen to you when you told them no. Don't let yourself get into that type of situation again.

 

[infinity706]

Well, I wouldn't go quite that far. What I would suggest, though, is that if you want to go for some seriously heavy petting, but not penetration, it would be best to discuss, in advance, exactly what you're willing to allow so that you don't potentially send mixed signals.

 

[fgarvb1]

This isn't really a how to, but more of a does it work?

So I was with this guy the other night and I made it very clear I would not have sex with him (especially because he did not have a condom) well we were getting pretty heated orally and such then we were making out with him ontop of me. I noticed hi reach down but I thought it was to finger me. He didn't he pushed right on in....there went my virginity....i think i was so shocked by what happened I just let him, but I'm really scared now. I took the plan b as soon as I could. I'm wondering how many women have had to and had it work? I don't know what I'd do if I got pregnant from this guy who won't even talk to me now....

Yes, I know I'm stupid...No need to state the obvious.

**************************************************************
"So I was with this guy the other night and I made it very clear I would not have sex with him"


This sounds like rape to me.

 

[banes27]

Sorry to hear about that. Some guy really are just plain jerks and can't take no for an answer no matter what the reason for the rejection was. It's essentially rape even if you didn't say no since you didn't actually say yes either so there was no spoken consent given. If you still have the guys number it might be worth telling him what you feel about what he did and say that if he doesn't come forward you'll talk to someone who can do something about it, but that's just what I'd do and on asking my fiancee that's what she'd do too. At the very least you should at least talk to someone about it anyway.

On the note of the morning after pill, I don't know many women who use it since the majority of women I know, whether in a relationship or not, are on some form of daily use oral contraceptive pill, either microgynon, cerazette and others, so I really only know of the general effectiveness of that within my social networks but the women I do know who took the morning after pill never got pregnant so I assume as a method of articificial contraception it has the usual 1% risk involved.

However, as others have pointed out, although you've taken the morning after pill, the lack of use of a condom may mean the possibility that you caught some STD/STI off the guy and his silence may relate in some way to that, but he could just be a jerk end of. Either way, it would be a good idea to get yourself checked out and possibly even be ope with the doctor about what happened. They may be able to advise you on who to talk to in more detail about the specific events of that night.

(And not to hijack the thread, but I've always had this perception that women in the UK tend to use daily use oral contraceptive pills while women in the US tend more towards the morning after pill. This perception could be the result of TV programmes but if it's accurate then why would women in the US use post-event methods of contraception instead of long-term preventative methods?)

 

[kaycee217]

This isn't really a how to, but more of a does it work?

So I was with this guy the other night and I made it very clear I would not have sex with him (especially because he did not have a condom) well we were getting pretty heated orally and such then we were making out with him ontop of me. I noticed hi reach down but I thought it was to finger me. He didn't he pushed right on in....there went my virginity....i think i was so shocked by what happened I just let him, but I'm really scared now. I took the plan b as soon as I could. I'm wondering how many women have had to and had it work? I don't know what I'd do if I got pregnant from this guy who won't even talk to me now....

Yes, I know I'm stupid...No need to state the obvious.

The sooner you take Plan B after vaginal intercourse, the more effective Plan B will be.

Even if you're not pregnant (wrong time of the month or Plan B did its thing), understand that your cycle will likely be off...alot. So don't get too scared if your period doesn't come for a long time.

Seeing a doctor is my advice (due to potential pregnancy and STIs).

And of course, there's the issue of intercourse without consent...

 

[Bandit58]

**************************************************************
"So I was with this guy the other night and I made it very clear I would not have sex with him"


This sounds like rape to me.

To me too. I have been date raped before. I told him to stop and tried to push him off but he was drunk and too strong Luckily I was on the pill at the time.

The emotional after effects can be quite shocking so do try and get some counselling. I did not, and I suffered from horrible flashbacks many years later. I have dealt with it now however and it does not bother me as it once did.

 

[infinity706]

Sorry to hear about that. Some guy really are just plain jerks and can't take no for an answer no matter what the reason for the rejection was. It's essentially rape even if you didn't say no since you didn't actually say yes either so there was no spoken consent given. If you still have the guys number it might be worth telling him what you feel about what he did and say that if he doesn't come forward you'll talk to someone who can do something about it, but that's just what I'd do and on asking my fiancee that's what she'd do too. At the very least you should at least talk to someone about it anyway.

On the note of the morning after pill, I don't know many women who use it since the majority of women I know, whether in a relationship or not, are on some form of daily use oral contraceptive pill, either microgynon, cerazette and others, so I really only know of the general effectiveness of that within my social networks but the women I do know who took the morning after pill never got pregnant so I assume as a method of articificial contraception it has the usual 1% risk involved.

However, as others have pointed out, although you've taken the morning after pill, the lack of use of a condom may mean the possibility that you caught some STD/STI off the guy and his silence may relate in some way to that, but he could just be a jerk end of. Either way, it would be a good idea to get yourself checked out and possibly even be ope with the doctor about what happened. They may be able to advise you on who to talk to in more detail about the specific events of that night.

(And not to hijack the thread, but I've always had this perception that women in the UK tend to use daily use oral contraceptive pills while women in the US tend more towards the morning after pill. This perception could be the result of TV programmes but if it's accurate then why would women in the US use post-event methods of contraception instead of long-term preventative methods?)

Most women in the US use birth control pills, too.

Now, as for the rape thing, it's probably not possible to make much of a claim on that. As far as all the rape laws I've ever seen, unless he used force, threatened her, or used some sort of drug with intent to control her, it's not rape. Sure, it's objectionable, but not really illegal.

 

[banes27]

Most women in the US use birth control pills, too.

Huh... daily use pills? Guess the TV over here in the UK coming from the US combined with my own social circles must have given me a kind of perception of difference...

Now, as for the rape thing, it's probably not possible to make much of a claim on that. As far as all the rape laws I've ever seen, unless he used force, threatened her, or used some sort of drug with intent to control her, it's not rape. Sure, it's objectionable, but not really illegal.

Yeah, that's why I went on to say that whatever she does she should at least just talk to someone. The most important thing is trying to deal with it and get past it rather than to deal out personal justice.

 

[emap]

Read up on birth control pills before you do take them, the side effects can be pretty bad, ask your doctor about what he recomends since he has to give you the prescription.

I'm going to say this part again, never ever let a guy get that far into pre sex without wanting to let him go all the way. Guys are well guys, they think with their dick first. Probably why he isn't talking to you now, he's probably ashamed of himself. Course it is also possible there is some stupid point system that you are now marked in, seems to be popular amongst college and high school students, mostly men but us gals do partake in them as more than just a number into the system.

Guys will make out, because it gets us in the mood and we are more likely to say home run or whatever stupid analogy you want to put in. It's just part of how they are wired, women are the ones who decide if there is going to be sex or not, guys just want it. So in the future, only let a guy go so far unless you want to give him the home run, in other words, kiss him, let him feel your breasts but no stripping, no handjobs, no blowjobs unless you enjoy giving them you may not be as popular but you will also not have to worry to much about him taking what you don't want to give.

Also, wear pants on dates, even if you let him finger you he can't get his dick wet without you helping him remove your pants.

 

[kskittles]

I wish he listened to me too instead of just doing it. I think it hurts more that he won't even talk to me now....

And you want him to talk to you because.......?

 

[SweetErika]

Not stupid at all! Sadly, one of thousands, if not more, of women whose first time was essentially rape... It's unfortunate he so ignored your wishes and doubles his sin by being such an ass to you now. Gotta love guys!

If she said no at any point and he didn't stop, it was rape. There's no "essentially" about it.

Ok well...I am not blaming you for this but if you make it very clear to a guy that you are not going to have sex with him...then you do not allow the petting to get that far at all. You stop him in his tracks and you do not let it get to the point that he is on top of you and you are under his control with no way out. Do you understand what I am saying here?

If you say no you have to back that up with your behavior, you don't go ahead and make out with them hot and heavy and let them crawl on top of you then wonder why they didn't listen to you when you told them no. Don't let yourself get into that type of situation again.

Sure, you're perpetuating the myth that men can't really control themselves once they get going. That's bullshit and one of the reasons why acquaintance and date rape continue to be so prevalent in our society. If we actually stopped blaming victims (vs. just saying we don't blame them) and started teaching boys/men that they are responsible for responding to their partners' reactions and stopping themselves no matter how riled up they are, we'd likely see a significant reduction in the rape statistics.

Personally, I find the way this is being brushed off by some people to be disgusting. The OP may have to deal with the effects of this experience for the rest of her life, yet you two are essentially espousing the "boys will be boys" philosophy in reference to her rapist. How do you think YOU would feel if people dismissed a sexual assault on you and said you shouldn't have let it get to that point, even though you didn't ever see it coming and did your very best to just survive at the time?

Don't fret over non-100%-hood. For two reasons...

The numbers are a bit tricky, suffice it to say that it overall ends up being less than 1/2 of 1 percent chance (the efficacy numbers are a bit harder to read than it first seems).

And, be smart, not fearful. By that I mean, do not worry more than enough to go through the procedures to make sure you are not, do not presumptively assume you are.

(I know, as a man I really have NO business telling you how you should feel about this, I just want to give the mildest food for thought)

Be well, and I'm so sorry for the unfortunate (to say the VERY least) event.

EDIT: In my extremely humble opinion, if you have any inclination towards seeking help for the emotional strain, do so. (I mean through a counselor of some sort) Though I can't read your mind, I could see how this really could be extremely emotionally traumatic... and from my own experience, letting this kind of thing fester is NOT good. I can talk to you further about my experience with this kind of help if you have any questions.

Thank you for being a voice of reason here. Sometimes the best support and advice in these situations does come from men who have solid values and common sense.

Thatgirl, do take OB's advice and talk this over with a qualified professional (your local sexual assault hotline should be able to refer you) before you feel like you need to. Taking care of yourself emotionally is just as important as making sure you're okay physically, and this is an extremely critical time in the process. Even if you just talk it over and hear what you need to once or a few times, you don't want to miss this opportunity to grieve and heal.

 

[infinity706]

Read up on birth control pills before you do take them, the side effects can be pretty bad, ask your doctor about what he recomends since he has to give you the prescription.

I'm going to say this part again, never ever let a guy get that far into pre sex without wanting to let him go all the way. Guys are well guys, they think with their dick first. Probably why he isn't talking to you now, he's probably ashamed of himself. Course it is also possible there is some stupid point system that you are now marked in, seems to be popular amongst college and high school students, mostly men but us gals do partake in them as more than just a number into the system.

Guys will make out, because it gets us in the mood and we are more likely to say home run or whatever stupid analogy you want to put in. It's just part of how they are wired, women are the ones who decide if there is going to be sex or not, guys just want it. So in the future, only let a guy go so far unless you want to give him the home run, in other words, kiss him, let him feel your breasts but no stripping, no handjobs, no blowjobs unless you enjoy giving them you may not be as popular but you will also not have to worry to much about him taking what you don't want to give.

Also, wear pants on dates, even if you let him finger you he can't get his dick wet without you helping him remove your pants.

Actually, handjobs and blowjobs might be a good answer as long as it's agreed upon that they're the main course, not some kind of foreplay. Communication is sort of important.

Now, as for the whole wearing pants thing, that could be effective, but if you're that worried about a guy using force to get sex, you probably shouldn't be dating him to begin with.