What’s in a name?

[Kumquatqueen]

What do you call a man with three planks on his head? Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

 

[Bramblethorn]

These three people are called Sean, Archibald and Ursula - which are, to me, perhaps three of the least sexy names in the English language.

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Although the third is more often called "Cary" than "Archibald", because Archibald was considered an unmarketable name.

 

[TheDok]

I couldn't help myself putting Jeremy Hunt into a story a few years ago...because his surname often got misspoken.

I have a true story, I was in the ln the lab at university when a pretty girl came in looking for her boyfriend. "Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?" she asked, and fled when we didn't reply, but fell about laughing. I would love to be able to say I saw it later, but that would be a lie

 

[TheDok]

What do you call a man with four planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

What do you call a man with a three-inch dick?.... Justin. Apologies to anybody with this IMO unfortunate name

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have a true story, I was in the ln the lab at university when a pretty girl came in looking for her boyfriend. "Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?" she asked, and fled when we didn't reply, but fell about laughing. I would love to be able to say I saw it later, but that would be a lie

I knew a kid of that name. His parents have some explaining to do.

 

[Timesup]

A heater. As in 'What do you call a woman with a radiator on her head?' An 'eater, innit.

And of course the guy with newspaper scrunched up in his clothes, Russell.

NYUK NYUK NYUK, why soitnly. Woo wooo woo.

 

[Voboy]

Does anyone else who looks for stories on Literotica wish you could remove people’s names from text? It’s frustrating getting into a hot, raunchy story only to see a character who has the same first or last name as a real person in my life that turns my hard-on from a smile into a frown pronto. “She” or “He” is fine but not realistic as writers are entitled to use whatever name for a character they like. And would be limiting as far as content. Please, fellow readers, help a pervert out.

Do you write?

If you do, then you already know the answer: it's clunky to avoid names in anything but a stroker, first of all. Many of us who post here don't write strokers.

Second? There's no point whatsoever in any of us trying to cater to the whim of every reader. That's a fool's errand. We write what we write; if it offends you, then go read something else. I can't read your mind. I don't know what specific names will make your erection crumble. That's not on me. I'm providing you with a free story; either say thanks and jerk off, or go find some other story more to your liking. Either way, don't presume to make demands.

 

[TheDok]

Do you write?

If you do, then you already know the answer: it's clunky to avoid names in anything but a stroker, first of all. Many of us who post here don't write strokers.

Second? There's no point whatsoever in any of us trying to cater to the whim of every reader. That's a fool's errand. We write what we write; if it offends you, then go read something else. I can't read your mind. I don't know what specific names will make your erection crumble. That's not on me. I'm providing you with a free story; either say thanks and jerk off, or go find some other story more to your liking. Either way, don't presume to make demands.

I couldn't agree with you more.

 

[Erozetta]

Anita Rhonda Coppola-Dix would be such an unfortunate name.

 

[Comshaw]

I knew a kid of that name. His parents have some explaining to do.

Yeah so did this kids parents, from my high school: Phillip Hergash...uh hu.

Comshaw