What Are You Thinking? Continued 14

[jay49in25]

I spend a considerable amount of time here but not nearly enough to be “popular”. I don’t know how some people do it. We all have different and in many cases deeply personal reasons for coming here. Also popularity has different meanings for different people.

I find the need for popularity among strangers on a sex site peculiar too. But one of the common denominators I have observed is most people, men and women, myself included, is the need for validation. So maybe for many that crosses over into popularity?

There is a certain charge we all get from being the belle of the ball so to speak. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as no one gets hurt. We see the same thing in the real world.

Lit is not much different than anywhere else where people come together to meet each other. Bars have the same type of energy. There are regulars who take on the personality of the place, new people trying to fit in and the rest who just stop by for a drink once in a while. What makes this place different is it’s a sex centered site. That’s what draws us all here. So that dynamic is what drives the behavior which is backwards from the real world communities and organizations we engage in.

That’s my observation after coming here for over a decade.

Well said.
I've been here off and on for more than 20 years. I usually lay back and go for a more one on one experience. I think you've hit on something with the need for validation.

 

[cocokittysurprise]

I spend a considerable amount of time here but not nearly enough to be “popular”. I don’t know how some people do it. We all have different and in many cases deeply personal reasons for coming here. Also popularity has different meanings for different people.

I find the need for popularity among strangers on a sex site peculiar too. But one of the common denominators I have observed is most people, men and women, myself included, need validation. So maybe for many that crosses over into popularity?

There is a certain charge we all get from being the belle of the ball so to speak. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as no one gets hurt. We see the same relationship dynamics in the real world.

Lit is not much different than anywhere else where people come together to meet each other. Bars have the same type of energy. There are regulars who take on the personality of the place, new people trying to fit in and the rest who just stop by for a drink once in a while. What makes this place different is it’s a sex centered site. That’s what draws us all here. So that dynamic is what drives the behavior which is backwards from the real world communities and organizations we engage in.

That’s my observation after coming here for over a decade.

I agree with most of this post, but just like popularity, validation also comes in different forms. Some people don't want to be the belle/beau of the ball. Their idea of validation comes from the 1-2 genuine connections they have through private convos. You won't even see them post much on the regular boards.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I spend a considerable amount of time here but not nearly enough to be “popular”. I don’t know how some people do it. We all have different and in many cases deeply personal reasons for coming here. Also popularity has different meanings for different people.

I find the need for popularity among strangers on a sex site peculiar too. But one of the common denominators I have observed is most people, men and women, myself included, need validation. So maybe for many that crosses over into popularity?

There is a certain charge we all get from being the belle of the ball so to speak. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as no one gets hurt. We see the same relationship dynamics in the real world.

Lit is not much different than anywhere else where people come together to meet each other. Bars have the same type of energy. There are regulars who take on the personality of the place, new people trying to fit in and the rest who just stop by for a drink once in a while. What makes this place different is it’s a sex centered site. That’s what draws us all here. So that dynamic is what drives the behavior which is backwards from the real world communities and organizations we engage in.

That’s my observation after coming here for over a decade.

I dont disagree with anything you said. I think you've got the long and short of it. I also thing popularity is confused with visibility.

I think what I find off putting is people trying establish their own "popularity" or be annoyed at their perceived lack of "popularity". I fully acknowledge that what I find important and interesting and compelling about people isnt AT ALL what other people find to be compelling etc. I guess I really like people who are themselves and not copies or trying too hard. Do what makes you happy and if other people like that, then thats pretty fucking cool.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I agree with most of this post, but just like popularity, validation also comes in different forms. Some people don't want to be the belle/beau of the ball. Their idea of validation comes from the 1-2 genuine connections they have through private convos. You won't even see them post much on the regular boards.

Exactly this. The people Ive found most interesting and compelling aren't usually super posty, some are, but it's a way smaller percentage.

 

[EvaLane]

Yachts, air crafts, I’ve never been on either. My ass remains un-shaken, sigh

 

[cocokittysurprise]

Yachts, air crafts, I’ve never been on either. My ass remains un-shaken, sigh

I've been on both. Kinda meh and they'll both give you bad hair if it's windy LOL

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I used to work on a yacht. A couple actually.

I liked the boats, but some of the owners are horrible people, thus possess the means to own a yacht (that movie trope of "rich nice guy" is as much a fabrication of Hollywood as anything else).

I am definitely it popular, but I reckon that most of us are here seeking meaningful engagement and fulfillment in our personal definitions of those things.

I also think that US Citizen should be smart enough to understand the 24 hour clock in written and oral speech.
(Of one the multitudinous reasons I am not popular)

 

[jason28053]

Yachts, air crafts, I’ve never been on either. My ass remains un-shaken, sigh

Have you been in a whirlpool? You can claim you like stirred and not shaken

 

[jason28053]

"No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot."
— Mark Twain

 

[LostHorizon]

I agree with most of this post, but just like popularity, validation also comes in different forms. Some people don't want to be the belle/beau of the ball. Their idea of validation comes from the 1-2 genuine connections they have through private convos. You won't even see them post much on the regular boards.

That’s a great point. Thank you. My guess is there are more people like this, including myself, that get their validation through genuine connection. That approach was learned over time. My post was addressing the people who are concerned with maintaining their popularity or or complaining about the lack of it. The complainers @cheekygirl75 originally mentioned. But you’re right, most people get just what they need with a very small circle of friends and no one else would ever know it.

I dont disagree with anything you said. I think you've got the long and short of it. I also thing popularity is confused with visibility.

Right, the obsession with “likes” and followers is prioritized over genuine connection. Likes being the only way to measure visibility. There are some who actually prefer getting “likes” to comments for that reason.

I think what I find off putting is people trying establish their own "popularity" or be annoyed at their perceived lack of "popularity". I fully acknowledge that what I find important and interesting and compelling about people isnt AT ALL what other people find to be compelling etc. I guess I really like people who are themselves and not copies or trying too hard. Do what makes you happy and if other people like that, then thats pretty fucking cool.

And again, this being a sex site screws with that dynamic. In one of the posts earlier someone brought up the ratio of men to women here and how there are 3-4 times more men than women. One of the the things I have always noticed was the different way men approach building their popularity compared to women and how they try to connect with them To many of them it’s nothing more than a pure numbers game until they connect with a winning ticket. If the winning ticket is actually a real woman. lol.

It’s simple economics, women here have the comparative advantage. The supply for women is low, the demand is high so they can afford to be choosy. Men on the other hand are in a saturated market. Our value is low so we have to find creative ways to improve our value.

Hence this misguided self imposed need to be popular. It fascinates me.

 

[cocokittysurprise]

Right, the obsession with “likes” and followers is prioritized over genuine connection. Likes being the only way to measure visibility. There are some who actually prefer getting “likes” to comments for that reason.

That's so bizarre to me, but it makes sense when framing this as social media site. Likes are one of the main metrics people use to determine popularity on social media, so Lit would be no different.

 

[Sexy_Singer]

Too many...words.

 

[LostHorizon]

That's so bizarre to me, but it makes sense when framing this as social media site. Likes are one of the main metrics people use to determine popularity on social media, so Lit would be no different.

It’s no different from that perspective. What sets it apart from other social media sites is that this place is sex centered. People come here to get off. Introducing that element changes everything.

 

[IelleDan]

Sinus headaches are the devil!

 

[PotNoodle79]

Maybe I'm an old simple soul but as long as the people I care about like me, I couldn't give a monkey's what others think.

 

[HopefulRetirement]

I spend a considerable amount of time here but not nearly enough to be “popular”. I don’t know how some people do it. We all have different and in many cases deeply personal reasons for coming here. Also popularity has different meanings for different people.

This is true. We all have a reason or purpose. Personally? It's something of a distraction when I'm at work late at night. I'm not the least bit concerned about being popular or liked. If it happens, cool. If it doesn't, cool.

I find the need for popularity among strangers on a sex site peculiar too. But one of the common denominators I have observed is most people, men and women, myself included, need validation. So maybe for many that crosses over into popularity?

There is a certain charge we all get from being the belle of the ball so to speak. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as no one gets hurt. We see the same relationship dynamics in the real world.

Lit is not much different than anywhere else where people come together to meet each other. Bars have the same type of energy. There are regulars who take on the personality of the place, new people trying to fit in and the rest who just stop by for a drink once in a while. What makes this place different is it’s a sex centered site. That’s what draws us all here. So that dynamic is what drives the behavior which is backwards from the real world communities and organizations we engage in.

That’s my observation after coming here for over a decade.

I enjoy making people smile and laugh. That gives my life a meaning and a purpose. I get it's a sex site, but why should I be any different? I get that people come on here and pretend. That's cool if that's what they enjoy. Me? I'm just here to have a good conversation, make a connection, and hopeful give someone a smile or a laugh.

 

[cheekygirl75]

I also think that US Citizen should be smart enough to understand the 24 hour clock in written and oral speech.
(Of one the multitudinous reasons I am not popular)

Oooh, oooh, I can understand the 24 hour clock!! Can I be popular now?

 

[Cat]

Oooh, oooh, I can understand the 24 hour clock!! Can I be popular now?

But.. you are lovely, amazing, funny as hell, sharp and clever..

Eh, sorry I lost the point, what was it you wanted to be?

 

[jay49in25]

Oooh, oooh, I can understand the 24 hour clock!! Can I be popular now?

So you need to validate your pretty and smart!

 

[LostHorizon]

I also think that US Citizen should be smart enough to understand the 24 hour clock in written and oral speech.
(Of one the multitudinous reasons I am not popular)

Let me guess, you want us to use the metric system too?

I happen to agree with you about the 24 hour clock. I like using it to show off my intelligence and confuse people.

 

[LostHorizon]

Oooh, oooh, I can understand the 24 hour clock!! Can I be popular now?

No! It has the opposite effect. The general view about people who use the 24 hour clock is not good.

 

[cocokittysurprise]

It’s no different from that perspective. What sets it apart from other social media sites is that this place is sex centered. People come here to get off. Introducing that element changes everything.

With the way things are trending (and the amount of eyeball bleach I've needed from briefly perusing the sites), I'd argue places like Twitter are also sex centered, just not in as blatant a way.

 

[MrPimms]

WWGD?

 

[cocokittysurprise]

WWGD?

What Would Groot Do?

 

[cheekygirl75]

WWGD?

What would Gandalf do?