What should I do

[Charlie_199]

Tonight me, my boyfriend, and his father were having dinner at their house. After dinner my boyfriend went out for a beer run. While he was gone I was going the dishes his father came up behide me, turned me around an started making out with me.
I really need some help. What should I do? Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place.

Charlsie

 

[cryptictravler]

How old are you all and how serious is the relationship.

Irregardless, that is so creepy. I don't know if I would tell him. Honestly, my dad making out with my gf would throw my game off.

 

[statusq]

Whoa whoa, wait a second. You said you two were making out? The crazy part is that i generally think of making out being a two way, consensual activity. Ok , maybe everyone was a little tipsy w/ slightly skewed judgement.

it does sound messy no doubt. Messy's not good so do try and keep it clean. you said yr confused, but i hope it's not confusion over an attraction towards the dad. i don't know for sure, but i'd recommend keeping it a secret from the bf, and at a more opportune time telling the father that it was a mistake that can't be repeated. Which pbly won't be easy.

i hope yr not feeling too guilt-racked. People screw up, but people can do thier best to fix things up too.

Best of luck to you.
sq.

 

[Charlie_199]

How old are you all and how serious is the relationship.

Irregardless, that is so creepy. I don't know if I would tell him. Honestly, my dad making out with my gf would throw my game off.

I'm 20. We have been together for 6 or 7 years. So the relationship is pretty serious.

 

[Charlie_199]

We weren't really making out. It was more him kissing me and sticking his tounge down my throat. I was just standing still.

 

[SweetErika]

My instinct would be to get out of it... it's just too strange. If the father would treat you like that and betray his son, what has your boyfriend learned about how to treat people and boundaries?

More practical advice...do not allow yourself to be put in a situation where you're alone with this man. If he crossed this very clear line without regard to you or his son, what might he do next time? And also, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you weren't a willing participant and he should keep his hands and tongue to himself in the future because you have no interest.

It's a tough situation...best of luck to you!

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm going to agree with Erika on this. Do not allow yourself to be left alone with this man. And if you do, make it plainly clear his advances are unwelcome and if necessary you will inform your boyfriend about his actions.

 

[Weird Harold]

We weren't really making out. It was more him kissing me and sticking his tounge down my throat. I was just standing still.

You have a knee. He has nuts. Introduce the two forcefully. Problem solved.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Weird Harold
You have a knee. He has nuts. Introduce the two forcefully. Problem solved.

Along the same line...I was going to suggest introducing your hand to his face...and not in a loving way...SSSMMMMAAACCCCKKKK

Yes definitely let him know it's not acceptable and don't be alone with him. Not sure why this is an issue...the answer seems obvious. His actions are unacceptable and your response should make that clear.

 

[Kissophile]

Run - do not walk - from this entire relationship.

Even though you've been with the boyfriend for a number of years, it's clear that you're entering into a highly dysfunctional situation. The fact that you have the presence of mind to seek help here tells me that you have your own doubts (though they may not be well formed just yet) and that ought to be enough to tell you that it's not the right situation for you.

You deserve better than this; heck, everyone deserves better than this.

 

[wicked woman]

I hear the advise to run...I don't entirely disagree but I guess I'd like to hear the Dad's response first. I haven't been in a situation like this before, but I have been in one where my brother in law was clearly enamoured of me from the time he first met me and years later crossed over the line once...kissing me, making it clear he wanted more...I just made it clear to him that it wasn't going to happen...his wife was my friend...he was married to her...end of story....he apologized...and we went back to where we had been, which was behaving and him admiring me from a distance. It was a momentary lapse in judgement for him.

Perhaps this situation is different because of the age and 'power' difference...but I guess I'd want to see what his reaction is to being told 'no way'. If I thought it was just a momentary lapse of judgement, I'd be less concerned about making a clean break. If there was any doubt though....hell yeah...get out of there.

 

[Bobmi357]

I hear the advise to run...I don't entirely disagree but I guess I'd like to hear the Dad's response first. I haven't been in a situation like this before, but I have been in one where my brother in law was clearly enamoured of me from the time he first met me and years later crossed over the line once...kissing me, making it clear he wanted more...I just made it clear to him that it wasn't going to happen...his wife was my friend...he was married to her...end of story....he apologized...and we went back to where we had been, which was behaving and him admiring me from a distance. It was a momentary lapse in judgement for him.

It was probably your av that did it WW. Drives men wild

 

[Willing and Unsure]

It was probably your av that did it WW. Drives men wild

women too

 

[anonymous84]

Hi, I usually lurk, but felt compelled to post. I don't think you should leave him for something his dad did--you can't hold the son accountable for the father's actions!! I think you should tell your boyfriend and then see how he reacts.

 

[Lynxie]

My gut reaction would be to tell you to talk about it with your boyfriend. You've been in a relationship for a long time, since you were kids, and you should have enough trust in each other to talk about anything.

However, I don't know what the relationship between your boyfriend and his dad is like. Telling him about the incident will inevitably shake things up between them, and if he's still living at home that could be a very bad thing.

One thing's certain, though. Your boyfriend's father is not a man to be trusted. He already kissed you without your consent...who knows how far he'd go if he got you alone again? I can't say enough how important it is for you to never, ever be alone with him.

I do think that daddy needs to be put in his place. Whether this involves a stern talking to, a firm slap, or a good swift kick in the testicles, I think it needs to be done. I don't, however, think you should be the one to do it - at least not alone. You need to tell someone else in your life about this, whether it be your boyfriend, your parents, or a friend. By telling someone, you'll have both someone looking out for your future safety and someone to act as a witness, in case (god forbid) anything else ever happened. If you tell your boyfriend, maybe he can clear things up with dad. If you tell your parents (again, I don't know your family situation), they'll probably help keep the man away from you, but will probably force you to leave the relationship. It's a tough call to make - you need to weigh all the consequences, but still keep your own safety, happiness and self-respect in mind. Good luck.

 

[Mary Hall]

If my boyfriend`s dad tried to kiss me, i`d kick him in the nuts and put him in a painful submission hold

 

[tigerjen]

If I were in your situation, I would have kicked him in
the balls where it hurts like hell and bust the hell out of
there.

THAT is a very scary situation, and I would tell your
boyfriend about it right away. And if you two are
very serious about each other and plan on getting
married, do NOT ever be alone with his dad in the same
room. A kiss like that can lead to more, and then you'll
be in a big pickle.

Please let us know what happens......good luck and
stay safe!


tigerjen

 

[Charlie_199]

Thanks for the advise guys.
I'm gonna make sure I'm never left alone with my boyfriend's father again. If he does try something again I will be sure to kick him in the nuts. I decided Wednesday when I see my boyfriend again I'm gonna tell him what happened.

 

[Lynxie]

Thanks for the advise guys.
I'm gonna make sure I'm never left alone with my boyfriend's father again. If he does try something again I will be sure to kick him in the nuts. I decided Wednesday when I see my boyfriend again I'm gonna tell him what happened.

Good for you. Keep us posted on how the conversation goes - hopefully your boyfriend will be supportive and help you work through it.

 

[PrinceM]

The most important thing to remember in all of this, is that YOU did not do anything wrong, and dont feel any guilt or shame about it.

 

[Charlie_199]

I saw my boyfriend tonight and told him what his dad did. When I told him he got pissed and had a really big fight with his dad. He also said this isn't the first time his dad did this. He father has done this before but with his younger brothers girlfriend. His younger brother is my age. Since he had a big fist fight with his dad my mom said he could stay at our house until they had some time apart. My boyfriend also said that I'm never gonna be by myself with him again. I love my boyfriend so much. I'm so glad he didn't get mad at me.

Just to let you guys know. I never thought it was my fault it happened.

 

[turboguy]

You have a knee. He has nuts. Introduce the two forcefully. Problem solved.

OMFG.....you said what I was gonna say.....and then add:

Then let the father explain to the son why he is doubled over on the floor with bloody nuts to his son!!

T

 

[Filling_KK]

I'm a guy, but I sure don't think it would be right to get out of the relationship at this point. After all that would be punishing your boyfriend for the actions of his father. It could be argued that he will have the same values, but at this point in time, in my opinion, dumping him would be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I agree with you don't be alone with has asshole dad,

 

[statusq]

Well done in being straight up w/ your bf. i bet it was a huge weight off of yr shoulders and yr ability to do so speaks volumes for the trust in yr relationship. i hope the rocky period doesn't go on too long for either of you, though i suspect that yr bf may have the stickier situation to deal with now.

Peace.

 

[tigerjen]

I saw my boyfriend tonight and told him what his dad did. When I told him he got pissed and had a really big fight with his dad. He also said this isn't the first time his dad did this. He father has done this before but with his younger brothers girlfriend. His younger brother is my age. Since he had a big fist fight with his dad my mom said he could stay at our house until they had some time apart. My boyfriend also said that I'm never gonna be by myself with him again. I love my boyfriend so much. I'm so glad he didn't get mad at me.

Just to let you guys know. I never thought it was my fault it happened.

I am very glad that you told your boyfriend!
He is a very good person for standing right by you!


tigerjen