Where Dad Jokes Go To Die

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially because his name is Steve.

 

[sallysparrow23]

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism, but it's a light sentence.

 

[sallysparrow23]

My husband asked me to stop singing "Wonderwall" to him.

I said maybe...

 

[CuriousRick]

I heard scientists figured out how to weight a rainbow

It was light.

 

[CuriousRick]

My wife says I have two major faults. I don’t listen and something else.

 

[sallysparrow23]

What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

Dam!

 

[CuriousRick]

My wallet is just like an onion.
Every time I open it I cry.

 

[CuriousRick]

Came home and my kids have been on eBay all day. If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the prices.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

 

[SnowIris]

Everyone who has posted: you all are the real MVPs of my day! I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Keep’em coming!

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Two beavers walk into a Bar , one said it out loud , the other thought it !!!

 

[sallysparrow23]

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts.

 

[sallysparrow23]

Everyone who has posted: you all are the real MVPs of my day! I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Keep’em coming!

It's been a really crummy day here and this thread has made me belly laugh. Thanks for starting it.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

DAMN,,

 

[Fingerfuxs]

it’s funnier if you touch the beaver ,

 

[CuriousRick]

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

 

[CuriousRick]

What kind of doctor was Dr Pepper?

A Fizzition

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? It was Chewie.

 

[CuriousRick]

What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is heavy and one is a little lighter.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

When I was younger I had to have a toe amputated after an accident at work. To make it even worse, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me after the surgery.

Apparently, she was lack toes intolerant.

Where is the groan emoji?

 

[wrodgers89]

In honor of Father’s Day, post your best(worst) dad jokes here!

I’ll start: what do you call a magical dog?






A Lab-ra-cadab-ra-dor!


Don’t be shy, hit us with your best material!

What's a four-letter sport that begins with a T?

Golf.

(Works better phonetically but you get the gist)

 

[Openmarriageohio]

Where is the groan emoji?

All my jokes a groaners. I never said they were good.

 

[Cogan]

Why do you never see an Elephant hiding in a tree?
?????
Because they are very good at it.

Why do Elephants paint their balls red?
??????
So they can hide in Cherry trees.

What's the loudest sound in the forrest?
??????
Giraffes eating cherries.

 

[Cogan]

Why don't ants get covid?
???????
They have antibodies.

 

[Cogan]

Most people are quite shocked when they find out I'm not a qualified electrician.