Where Dad Jokes Go To Die

[muddler35]

Really dumb one, but @AmberLGreen ’s favorite.

A dentist is working late one night catching up on paperwork when a guy comes in off the street and lays down on the couch in the waiting room.

Dentist: Sir….can I help you?
Guy: lately, doc, I’ve come to believe that I am a moth. I just can’t shake it. I’m truly convinced that I am a moth.
Dentist: ummmm. I’m a dentist, not a psychiatrist.
Guy: Sure doc, I know that.
Dentist: Why did you come in here then?
Guy: Well, your light was on.

 

[snexxer]

The lesbian couple next door gave me a rolex

Not what I meant when I said I wanna watch.

 

[CuriousRick]

 

[muddler35]

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

You walk him and pitch to the rhino.

 

[caitiff1969]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.......

 

[HarperValley]

How do you know when an elephant has been in the fridge?

Footprints in the butter...


(anyone else remember elephant jokes from the 60s? )

 

[CuriousRick]

How do you know when an elephant has been in the fridge?

Footprints in the butter...


(anyone else remember elephant jokes from the 60s? )

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

You take away his credit cards.

 

[HarperValley]

How does an elephant get down from a tree?

Sits on a leaf and waits til autumn

 

[HarperValley]

why are elephants large. grey and wrinkled?

If they were small , white and smooth they'd be an aspirin...

 

[snexxer]

How do you know when 2 elephant have had sex in your garden

The binbag is missing the the fence is flattened.

 

[Cindy027]

anyone else remember elephant jokes from the 60s?

I remember them from the 90's

Why does an elephant paint its toenails red?

To hide in the cherry tree.

 

[HarperValley]

Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

So they can float unseen in a bowl of custard!

Ever seen an elephant floating in a bowl of custard...?

Proves it works!

 

[hopeful_wife]

Oh my goodness! I can share my favorite elephant joke and my favorite Muppet joke!

As told by Pepe, the king prawn -- so with a French accent:
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Elephino!

 

[Cindy027]

Oh my goodness! I can share my favorite elephant joke and my favorite Muppet joke!

As told by Pepe, the king prawn -- so with a French accent:
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Elephino!

I had to watch the vid to get it and I speak French !! In fairness it had to be explained to the audience as well

 

[CuriousRick]

 

[sallysparrow23]

I'm going to open a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches and park it right next to Chick-fil-A and only open it on Sundays

It's going to be called Side Chick.

 

[CuriousRick]

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

There are three kinds of people in this world -

Those that can count...and those that can't!

 

[snexxer]

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

 

[snexxer]

What did the Chinese Janator say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies

 

[Nightjoy1]

Late to the party, but I'm throwing my bad jokes into the ring.....

How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.
On what grounds did the police arrest the devil?
They got him for possession.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”