Why? Why Not? Why On Earth?

[Dalt]

DUMBASS MALE DRIVERS


yesterday, on the expressway, I passed this fool talking on his cell phone, smoking a cigarette with his left hand. As I passed him he flicked the ashes out the window.

Now, 70mph+cellphone in right hand + cig in lefthand = what the hell is he steering with?

This guy has a prehensile dick????

 

[PaulUK]

applying to be Paul's driver when he becomes a famous wealthy writer.

Of course that also entails being his drinking buddy on the pub house tab

The great thing about that job application is that you have all this time for training... *sigh*

 

[Neftoon_Zamora]

Hey, as long as you don't put on make up while in bed.

Bash

Well, that would depend upon whether or not the company could keep my interest...http://smilies.sofrayt.com/1/950/wink.gif

 

[Dalt]

*checks Neffie's bedroom*

cracks in ceiling, flip over numbers style clock radio, supply of crackers on nightstand

she won't get bored

 

[Neftoon_Zamora]

I've been known to do my grocery list there....

 

[Dalt]

laughing

ever use the great mood killer line?

as he strokes ever faster, in and out of you, you look up and ask

"did you remember to take out the garbage?"

 

[Just-Legal]

DUMBASS MALE DRIVERS


yesterday, on the expressway, I passed this fool talking on his cell phone, smoking a cigarette with his left hand. As I passed him he flicked the ashes out the window.

Now, 70mph+cellphone in right hand + cig in lefthand = what the hell is he steering with?

This guy has a prehensile dick????

Oh no, better one

TAXI DRIVER

Doing 60ish MPH in a 30 residential zone, smoking, talking on his handheld cell, goes through a speed camera, gets caught, turns to me.

"You didn't f**king tell me!"

"Yes I did. You bitched at me that you couldn't hear your girl."

"You're paying the f**king fine!"

"Make me!"

Got out and walked...

 

[PaulUK]

Taxi drivers are a breed apart. The local ones are here notorious for intersection accidents, because they think amber is a kind of mind-green, and red is just a warning that it's not amber...

 

[Dalt]

red=stop (S kid T ires O n P avement)
green=go
yellow=go faster

 

[rosylady]

Hi Rosy, Nice shoes....................................

hi GG, cows don't laugh?

Thanks Dalt, I like my shoes too.

*laughing*

 

[Saoirse]

Dalt and Neffie... I am just sitting here roaring laughing at your avs...... brilliant!!!!!

 

[Dalt]

Thank you Sao

I'm rather thrilled too

 

[BlueDaisy]

Ah, but what is "it", darlin'?



Bash

Oh. I was hoping YOU'D know. *scratches head*

 

[BlueDaisy]

DUMBASS MALE DRIVERS


yesterday, on the expressway, I passed this fool talking on his cell phone, smoking a cigarette with his left hand. As I passed him he flicked the ashes out the window.

Now, 70mph+cellphone in right hand + cig in lefthand = what the hell is he steering with?

This guy has a prehensile dick????

Yeah...and was using it to steer the car.

 

[BlueDaisy]

Oh no, better one

TAXI DRIVER

Doing 60ish MPH in a 30 residential zone, smoking, talking on his handheld cell, goes through a speed camera, gets caught, turns to me.

"You didn't f**king tell me!"

"Yes I did. You bitched at me that you couldn't hear your girl."

"You're paying the f**king fine!"

"Make me!"

Got out and walked...

ROFL!!!!

 

[BlueDaisy]

red=stop (S kid T ires O n P avement)
green=go
yellow=go faster

Note to self: Don't eat trail mix while reading this thread anymore *wiping monitor screen*

That's how we drive in San Antonio!!!

 

[Dalt]

Blue, when I first moved here in 1968, one of the first lessons I had to learn was:

Never go as soon as the light turns green! Wait at least 10 seconds because some moron will always insist that the light was yellow on his side.

 

[BlueDaisy]

Blue, when I first moved here in 1968, one of the first lessons I had to learn was:

Never go as soon as the light turns green! Wait at least 10 seconds because some moron will always insist that the light was yellow on his side.

LOL! Yep, that's about how it is here. Not that I drive like that, mind you.

 

[Dalt]

sometimes, real life intrudes......................

I'm sitting here, joking, harassing and generally delaying the start of another work day.

from two blocks away, I hear that moaning wail of the fire siren.
it's not even eight in the morning.

I find myself hoping that it's merely a call for a motor vehicle accident.

having lived through the disaster of a fire in the house, I pray that this isn't what it is. I hope to God it doesn't involve young children.

this morning, as I do several times a month, I'll find myself thinking, "I have that" whatever it is.........and then catch myself.
"No, moron, it went up in the fire."

it's a long time from 1978............yet some things snap back in an instant.

 

[PaulUK]

These things live with us for a time, Dalt. I've never been a car fan, but I gotta tell you, rolling over in one a few times definitely takes the fun out of motoring.

 

[Saoirse]

things are replaceable... people are not.. ...Thank God we still have you two guys around to regale us with your tales!!!!

 

[PaulUK]

Actually, this isn't the original me. I was an insurance write-off, so they took the chance to trade up...

 

[Neftoon_Zamora]

Actually, this isn't the original me. I was an insurance write-off, so they took the chance to trade up...

Ok. So this is a perfect set up. I mean, it's classic.

So Paul.. they traded up??

 

[Dalt]

neffie, think Yugo

 

[Neftoon_Zamora]

A Subaru Justy? Ford Festiva? PINTO!!!