Why wont he call back?

[logophile]

I'm good, Sarahhh...
And you?

/threadjack

 

[Guest]

I'm good, Sarahhh...
And you?

/threadjack

Pretty good.

Long time no see, lovely one.

Life and midwifery keeping you busy?

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

There was a John Hughes movie in the 80's with Jon Cusack in it (like that narrows it down) and he complains to his female best friend "I'm a guy!"

To which the female best friend responds "the world is full of guys. Be a man."

My guess, he was a guy. You are looking for a man.

 

[starrkers]

I met a nice guy and we were really getting along very well, we spent some time calling each others chatting on the phone hitting it off. We next went out a couple of times, and then finally had sex. It seemed like we both of us had a good time but then I never heard from him again.

I know; not a new story. I understand he probably just wanted to use me for sex, but first time sex is just a warm up as we get to know each others sexually, I haven't started gotten kinky yet. If you're going to use me at least stick around long enough for the full package before running off.

Now some of you may say he may be in a relationship, but if he managed to find the time and means to have multiple phone conversations and a couple of dates, he should be able to find time for some more sex if he wanted.

I'm so pissed off.

Possible causes of his disappearance:

1. Personal tragedy

2. He didn't have as good a time as you thought.

3. He's a player and your game is over.

4. Something you said/did scared him off (maybe he's looking for casual fun and got the impression you're looking for long term, wedding, mortgage 2.4 kids for example).

5. He lost your number.

6. He's married.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

The best excuse I can come up with comes from the Original "Blues Brothers" movie when John B says to Carrie Fisher, "I couldn't help it. I was washing my socks."

He's just another jerk. Forget him.

 

[Guest]

The best excuse I can come up with comes from the Original "Blues Brothers" movie when John B says to Carrie Fisher, "I couldn't help it. I was washing my socks."

He's just another jerk. Forget him.

Actually, THIS is what he said.

[Jake falls to his knees]

Jake: Oh, please, don't kill us. Please, please don't kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault.

Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.

Jake: No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]

Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake... Jake, honey...

[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]

Jake: [to Elwood] Let's go.

[He drops the Mystery Woman in the mud and walks off]

Elwood: [to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her] Take it easy.

 

[Pure]

hi lahlah

i agree with starkers' list:

1. Personal tragedy

2. He didn't have as good a time as you thought.

3. He's a player and your game is over.

4. Something you said/did scared him off (maybe he's looking for casual fun and got the impression you're looking for long term, wedding, mortgage 2.4 kids for example).

5. He lost your number.

6. He's married.

=====


but i'd add to number 3, fear of entanglements.

2. is key. How good a time did he have? What does he expect, for next time? The problem is that you start from "i've got much to offer, including even better sex." that is your assessment. i'm not saying you're wrong, but it's NOT necessarily his assessment.

as to 6., being married would not account for disappearing, since he was available. perhaps his wife returned from 4 mos in Europe, though.

lastly, starkers forgets the point--call it 7. --that's in hundreds of cartoons: the man reviews his date: he thinks of 6 good things about her.
but then he says, 'but i don't think i'll call her."
last panel: "her tits are too small."

move on. part of the "secret" to surviving these things is to LOWER your expectations. in the early times of meeting, and after the first couple sexual encounters, truthfully and correctly you should expect NOTHING. be pleasantly surprised if there's another contact. the person owes you neither another meeting, nor even a explanation for not calling.

 

[SweetWitch]

There was a John Hughes movie in the 80's with Jon Cusack in it (like that narrows it down) and he complains to his female best friend "I'm a guy!"

To which the female best friend responds "the world is full of guys. Be a man."

My guess, he was a guy. You are looking for a man.

I have to agree with this one. It doesn't matter why he didn't call. What matters is that he didn't. You only go around once and life is far too short to worry over someone who doesn't have the gumption to get to know how great a woman you are.

I say go find a good-looking guy whose shlong is bigger than his brain, buy some condoms and boff his brains out. Put a perma-smile on his face and satisfy your own carnal needs. Once you get that out of the way, start taking applications for the next Mr. Right and make sure he's a man.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I used to think that 90% of us were decent types and that there were 10% of the male half of the population that gave the rest of us a bad name. I was most emphatically corrected by a female captain and a female sergeant (both married!) who stated that only about 60% of males qualified as men and it was an entire 40% who were complete jerks. That's sad, but the odds are still in your favor. Move on and keep looking.

 

[Lalah]

2. is key. How good a time did he have? What does he expect, for next time? The problem is that you start from "i've got much to offer, including even better sex." that is your assessment. i'm not saying you're wrong, but it's NOT necessarily his assessment.

Could be he didn't have fun for some reason, but we were having a good time for the almost two weeks before we had sex, and noting happened during the sex itself that would push someone into running away if they were interested before.

As for how good the sex I can offer would be, I can't offer an unbiased opinion on this but I can tell you I'm willing to try anything so long as it doesn't do anything permanent.

3. He's a player and your game is over.

I'd say we hadn't even started the game yet, just barely finished the tutorial. Everyone knows the best level is level 7.

4. Something you said/did scared him off (maybe he's looking for casual fun and got the impression you're looking for long term, wedding, mortgage 2.4 kids for example).

It was purely a sexual fling; I'm not interested a long term relationship right now.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Have you tried calling him?

 

[Lalah]

No, he was supposed to be the one to call back. If it was any other time I'd give him a call, but this look too much like he's dumping me and if that's the case I won't feed his ego by calling.

 

[starrkers]

 

[drksideofthemoon]

No, he was supposed to be the one to call back. If it was any other time I'd give him a call, but this look too much like he's dumping me and if that's the case I won't feed his ego by calling.

When's the last time you heard from him?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I'll see your and raise you a

 

[Lalah]

Out of memory I'd say it must now be around two weeks. Before this happened we used to talk on a daily/bi-daily basis, and when we last saw each others I was under the impression he would call me back the next day as usual.

 

[Liar]

Possible causes of his disappearance:

1. Personal tragedy

2. He didn't have as good a time as you thought.

3. He's a player and your game is over.

4. Something you said/did scared him off (maybe he's looking for casual fun and got the impression you're looking for long term, wedding, mortgage 2.4 kids for example).

5. He lost your number.

6. He's married.

7. He's stared a thread on some other forum asking "Am I supposed to call her back yet? Is it too soon? Is it too late? Am I too neurotic?"

 

[Lalah]

7. He's stared a thread on some other forum asking "Am I supposed to call her back yet? Is it too soon? Is it too late? Am I too neurotic?"

Have you ever spent two weeks flirting daily with someone, finally had sex, said you'd call back and then go AWOL for two weeks?

I've been without news for a length of time almost equal to the the total time I have known him...

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Out of memory I'd say it must now be around two weeks. Before this happened we used to talk on a daily/bi-daily basis, and when we last saw each others I was under the impression he would call me back the next day as usual.

Well, as some of the others have stated, something may have happened to him.

My advice is, if you really want to know, call him. Otherwise, write him off and go on with your life.

 

[starrkers]

Have you ever spent two weeks flirting daily with someone, finally had sex, said you'd call back and then go AWOL for two weeks?

I've been without news for a length of time almost equal to the the total time I have known him...

Have you ever been so wrapped up in something you've forgotten to call someone and then gotten guilty about not calling and then she hasn't called you so you think you've been given the brush off and don't call, and she thinks you're giving her the brush off and she won't call...

For God's sake woman. If it matters this much to you, call him. If it doesn't, why are you obsessing here about it?

 

[Lalah]

I'm not obsessing, just answering questions and getting comments.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I must say, after reading this whole thread, the posts finally started making sense. Why not call him? It can't do any harm, and there might be some perfectly reasonable explanation to his lack of communication. If not, and it really is goodbye, you can put it behind you.

After all, this is not the 1950's.

 

[slyc_willie]

I'm not obsessing, just answering questions and getting comments.

If you weren't obsessing, you wouldn't have begun a thread. Maybe not particularly about him, but you began the thread nonetheless.

Nothing happened to him. I'm not a shallow man, but I was one, once. he seduced you, took you; that was his aim, seems to me.

Not to sound cruel, but he used you. He got what he wanted (being, the thrill of the chase and the conquest after) and now he's gone.

Take all this as it is meant; an object lesson. Men are, by nature, pigs and/or assholes. But not all.

Hope for the the one that is 'not all.'

 

[Lalah]

If you weren't obsessing, you wouldn't have begun a thread. Maybe not particularly about him, but you began the thread nonetheless.

Nothing happened to him. I'm not a shallow man, but I was one, once. he seduced you, took you; that was his aim, seems to me.

Not to sound cruel, but he used you. He got what he wanted (being, the thrill of the chase and the conquest after) and now he's gone.

Take all this as it is meant; an object lesson. Men are, by nature, pigs and/or assholes. But not all.

Hope for the the one that is 'not all.'

There's threads about any number of subjects here. Does this mean everyone starting a thread and taking part in the discussion happening in it is obsessed?

Like I said, I know he used me. I wasn't looking in a long term relationship, I fully intended for his to use me for sex and discard me when he got enough, if I didn't discard him first.

I'm not mad he left, I'm frustrated I couldn't get more sex. This is what the post is about; why won't these people stick around long enough to actually get some sex out of their conquests before moving on? It sounds like such a big waste to me, I don't see the point of spending weeks seducing someone if it's not for the sex.

 

[impressive]

I'm not mad he left, I'm frustrated I couldn't get more sex.

Atta girl!