Wife finally agreed to watch porn. Need Women's advice!

[sluttysubpaige]

Just to clarify, I never made her "cave" into it. I've only been asking her very patiently and calmly, over the years if there's anything she would like to try or experience other than what we've been doing. I've suggested watching porn together, but never made it like a weekly "lets watch porn!" thing. I recently asked her if she had any thoughts again, and she said she'd be interested in watching a movie with me, so my initial post was to see if anyone knew of something that wouldn't scare her off and make her cringe. Obviously, it didnt really matter in the end. This is a girl that sees kissing on a regular TV show, and the moment she sees tongues touch, turns her head away.

I would never force her to do anything against her will, or pressure her to do anything she didnt want to do. I merely thought it would be fun to try some newer things together. For 6 years, i've asked her if she has fantasies, and her answer is always "no." Again, we have decent sex when we have it, and she's completely happy with our sex life, so I think it's really just about me figuring out why I feel a need to have anything more on top of that.

I'm a pretty open chick when it comes to sexuality, but me and your wife have the tv tongue thing in common. I just don't find it appealing.

Have you tried getting her into erotic books? If she liked the 50 shades of gray one, then she might like another. I'm pretty sure there are tons of soft porn in the romance section of any bookstore. It's worth a try, and could eventually lead to more openness.

However, I would skim the book a little before giving it to her. I bought one of Anne Rice's erotic books, Sleeping Beauty I think. Although I love her non-erotic books, I wasn't a fan of this one. Way too hardcore for me lol.

 

[orangetree]

It seems like she is really not into watching anything. If it nauseates her then I imagine continuing to push it is working against you.

How about her finding a novel she really enjoys and teling you about a favorite scene and why she likes it? Something from her 50 Shades books? Or maybe something like one of Anais Nin's erotic books -they are really erotic and women love them.

Maybe if you went with the above suggestion you could work up to reading some of the passages aloud..?

 

[kage007]

I was really prudish about getting into porn a long time ago, I made a similar deal to yours with my then boyfriend. He bought The Devil in Miss Jones, it was an actual story and I thoroughly enjoyed it which surprised me and made me a lot more open to watching porn.

 

[bill3901]

I was really prudish about getting into porn a long time ago, I made a similar deal to yours with my then boyfriend. He bought The Devil in Miss Jones, it was an actual story and I thoroughly enjoyed it which surprised me and made me a lot more open to watching porn.

yea it's kind of a challenge to find a video that will turn my wife and I on. It doesn't have to be too soft for her, it's just that some things that you find online on these video sites can be very disturbing!

 

[subwannabe]

I would think that downloadable porn would be better than DVD's for those that do porn. I mean who wants to watch an hour long fairly plotless movie where the woman gives several blowjobs, fucks several different people - some individually some in groups, and you can always count on some lesbo action? At least with the downloadbale option you don't have to watch a whole movie filled with stuff you don't want or like and you can get a shorter version. Sometimes I go to these hotels on vacation where you can get pay per view porn and am amazed that you could pay for nonstop porn, hours and hours and hours of it. I mean, really? How many hours of porn can someone watch?

 

[throwaway11111]

<deleted>

 

[jodylee]

My husband and I love watching porn together! I personally don't like the dick pounding for hours kind, I much rather Abby Winters style porn. Plot is still thin, but the interaction seems more thought out, erotic and delicious! I like the girl girl porn rather than man/woman too, I thi k it's the softness that is more appealing than the "how fast and hard can I bang the bitch". I like leaving that to during or after the feature ;-)

 

[Sunset1010]

Hey everyone,

So after 5 years of marriage, my wife has finally agreed to watch a porn video with me. A brief history: She's always been ultra conservative in bed, and while we have an ok sex life, there's been very little in the area of experimenting, or anything other than me on top, her on top, and the occasional doggy style once every few months. I'd say the sex between us is great when it happens, so we do both enjoy sex together. I once bought her some toys, and they are all still in the original packaging. She's donated to the charity drop boxes behind the supermarkets any lingerie I've bought her over the years, still with the tags on it. Not for religious reasons, or anything like that, she's just never had any desire to try new things, no matter how much I've encouraged her to explore sex and her sexuality. I've never asked for anything like swinging, or anything extreme like that, I've only tried to encourage things that I think most people on this board would consider "light."

She's finally agreed to watch a porn with me, in bed. She promised to lay in bed with me, and watch through one, without looking away or turning it off. She's seen porn before, but has never "watched" porn. She's always been squeamish around it, and finds the vast majority of it to be disgusting. She's caught me watching porn a few times over the years, and has always asked me to turn it off.

So now that I have the opportunity, I pretty much have one shot to show her something, that I'm hoping will really turn her on, and not scare her. Most of the hard core stuff out there can be risky to show her, as I dont want to scare her with the first video, but rather have it be something we can maybe build on.

Do you guys have any recommendations for any series, or even better, links to videos that as a woman, really turn you on? (It has to be straight porn) As a guy, I pretty much need to just see a dick going into a pussy, and I'm turned on, so I dont really trust my own judgement in picking something random from a tube site.

Any advice, links, stories, experiences, etc, would be amazing! I know I can count on this community!

I go to the same sites my husband does and get all sorts of great ideas. We're not into pain or anything gross but people having great sexual fun is a turn on. Heck we even had midget porn showing in the gazebo at a late night pool party and it was hysterical. If she is averse to viewing porn (and BTW, I hate the ones with the corny acting and fake plots - if I want to see a real movie, I will do just that) start with some of the soft porn images on Lit. What's great about this site is that people are real and not airbrushed porn stars that may make some women less comfortable. Have fun with it and help her see it can enhance (not threaten) your already conservatively pleasant sex life...good luck!

 

[Lovetolisten]

Keep in mind...

Women are less visual than men. Men look at pictures, watch porn, etc. Women will as well, but are far less inclined to be aroused by that alone. Most of us are more responsive to words, touching, romance.

Some of the "How To" films are more along those lines. They are softer, less... raw. And some introduce toys, positions, etc. hat will be more likely to open her mind, and body, to more.

 

[TerrysSexyWife]

Thanks for the link to the couple video. I will surprise my husband with watching this with him soon.

 

[TerrysSexyWife]

well

this is my first time in the forums but I wanted to respond to this thread. My husband loves watching porn. Over the years he kind of got obsessed with it and when that happened I just shut down everything. Like another poster, we had been just kind of roommates for the last 10 years. Between raising a child, running two businesses, health issues he has and not feeling like the sexy woman I am....there was dust on my libido.

Recently we had a crisis where I am pretty sure he was looking around for some outside relief. I wasn't snooping but needed to log into his email and discovered messages from a cheating site. I was heartbroken, but I also understood. I sent him an email saying I knew and we needed to talk. We waited 24 hours and then I sat quietly and listened to him poor his heart out about how much he missed my touch... even the non sexual touch had been missing. Without blame I told him that I didn't like that porn had become his main sex partner and after he watched it was the only time he approached me.. I felt like the hole that took care of his needs.

We decided we wanted to work on everything...and I decided to be the one who would start touching him. At every opportunity I touch him.. his face, his leg, hold his hand. As I did this I began to open up to him physically as well. Within 3 days I was ready to jump his bones.. and proceeded to do that morning and night for three days .. and then he had to go away for a week.

While he has been gone I've explored what he was looking at on his computer and decided to find what I liked. I found Literotica and started to read stories and yes, I did google and find all kinds of stuff out there that is not to my taste. But I would be lying to say that some of it did not arouse me to the point that I had to take care of my needs. And yes, I would act and say I was disgusted by porn.

Maybe you should start by making her feel so cherished and loved that she would be willing to explore what she likes on her own. I agree there are some pretty hot movies that are main stream.. Wild Orchid comes to mind.

The surprise for my husband is that I am not nearly as vanilla as he thinks. I hadn't done it for years, but I shaved all my body hair while he was gone and in our phone calls I told him.. he didn't sleep on his stomach that night. I actually have shaved most of my adult life, but he has no idea this is the way I prefer to be. Saturday we have a hot date night (the kid is going to sleep at a friends) which is going to include shopping for a few toys. Something I know he never dreamed I would suggest. Watching that couple video will be a surprise for him too. The more loved and adored he makes me feel the more the real me will reward him. At heart I am a the dominant one in the relationship but never let her out because I denied her.

So again.. love her, touch her non sexually, pamper her with no expectation and ask her what she likes and the DO it. If she can't talk to you about it have her email or write it down and leave notes for you. And if porn isn't it.. then move along... I know I know.. but I don't get the whole women aren't visual argument.. we are... we just like pretty pictures..

 

[Elated]

Ooo.
Subscribed!

 

[Squire66]

What about exploring other "boundaries". Have you experimented in any other directions? Stories have been mentioned. How about dressing-up / positions / role-play / toys ?

 

[imrhapsody]

Before I joined this site, I was looking for ways to jump start my sex drive...and decided, hey, I'll just Google up some porn. I really had not seen much of anything before this. Bad idea! My first couple of attempts, I stumbled into a couple of gang bang videos, and one with a tiny little Asian woman tied up like a Christmas turkey, and a bunch of guys trying out all different weird sex toys on her while she sobbed through her gag, snot running down her face. Barf. So if you don't want to scare her off, avoid that!!!

Since then, I have found a select few videos I do like. This is one:

http://xhamster.com/movies/1674627/nice_couple.html

I'm pretty sure this is "woman porn" or developed with women in mind, as it is nothing like a lot of the regular stuff I've seen that caters to men.

I haven't checked this site out yet, but, it says the videos are rated by popularity from female viewers. Whether that is true or not, I have no idea, but, it might be worth browsing through to see if you see anything. There is a filter for "romantic" which may generate some tamer, gentler videos.

http://www.forhertube.com/search/?q=Romance|Romantic&kwid=23404&c=1

Oh thank you so much...really so nice?

 

[Euphonic]

Ooo.
Look at movies produced by Sweet Sinema.
Or most movies with James Deen.