Wild women in bed???

[swiftwings23]

Ok ladies in there's 20's who are wild in bed and willing to try just about anything what percentage of women in your age group do you represent?
The reason I ask is this... I was talking with a woman tonight and the discussion turned sexual, surprise surprise. We got to talking about stuff she has done, a little bondage, anal, pictures, outdoors, sex in public yada yada yada. She asked me what types of sexual exploits I have done and I couldn't say much. I've considered myself a very good lover with the women i've been with but none of them would try anything out of the so called norm. So after realizing I was getting screwed out of a lot of things I would like to experience I started thinking is it me or the women i've been dating. I have tried to get past women to open up to different things but they just wouldn't do it so I never pressed it. Now this woman is telling me i'm missing out big time and I agree.

The problem is it's obviously hard to find women who are sexually free. If i'm wrong please correct me but so far i'm come up empty handed.

Swift

 

[SweetErika]

How long are you in a relationship with these "boring" women before you propose your ideas, if I may ask? And are they the type of relationships where you share EVERYTHING with eachother?

 

[christinaNZ]

And with themselves for that matter.

 

[SensualCealy]

Ditto!
Being free to tell someone your fantasies comes with comfort in a relationship. If you know you can tell your s.o. a desire and they wont walk away then its worth a try. In a short term relationship, you may scare them off or if she acts her fantasies out you may think she is (how do I say this nicely?) easy.

If you want an easy woman to experience things with the so be it, but its much more fun having one to do it with over and over again! lol
Cealy

 

[ReadyOne]

There may be a question here about how many ladies go through an (often) short phase where they push their comfort zone and try a bunch of things, then fall back into very basic things.

The woman may be acting out (rebellion or new found freedom), or exploring and not having a good experience (like anal done wrong), or are used by people who think a wild reputation is a license to force a woman to do things the woman doesn't want to do, or they have a moral crisis steming from thier early upbringing, or realize they can't emotionally support things like multiple partners.

So how many women go though a wild phase and then signaficantly revert?

 

[shelleb4]

Im forty, and i would wholeheartedly support that in a longer lasting relationship where trust has been earnt, both parties are likely to be more willing to open up to new and perhaps risque things.
But would add, that at my age, and this is true for my friends it seems, you come through all the shyness, that each adventure is to be lived to the fullest, a thrill seeker if you will. You really dont give a damn anymore what people think, you know yourself fully, and thats a very liberating head space to be in. I now have the confidence to make mistakes and laugh at myself.

 

[Metal_Monkey]

The problem is it's obviously hard to find women who are sexually free.

Unfortunately, we don't go around wearing signs on our shirts (Sexually Free Woman: Apply Within). Furthermore, because we're ladies who don't want to be labled sluts, we don't wear leopard stretch pants (usually) and we don't give it up to all comers.

Wild sex between two people usually comes about when both parties are comfortable with the situation.

Bingo! She needs to trust you a lot if you want to get freaky freaky. And at the risk of sounding cliche, good girls make the best bad girls, and they're really fun to corrupt.

 

[intrigued]

Unfortunately, we don't go around wearing signs on our shirts (Sexually Free Woman: Apply Within). Furthermore, because we're ladies who don't want to be labled sluts, we don't wear leopard stretch pants (usually) and we don't give it up to all comers.



Bingo! She needs to trust you a lot if you want to get freaky freaky. And at the risk of sounding cliche, good girls make the best bad girls, and they're really fun to corrupt.

Very well said!

Seems the older I get, the wilder I get.

 

[sheath]

Bingo! She needs to trust you a lot if you want to get freaky freaky. And at the risk of sounding cliche, good girls make the best bad girls, and they're really fun to corrupt.

Yep.

I can be demure in bed or kinky as all fucking get-out. It depends on how deeply I trust the person I'm with. The kinky side of me only comes out in a committed, trusting relationship.

Take your time getting to know a woman who seems open and tolerant toward just about anything...and once you build up that relationship with her and find sexuality in the midst of trust, you just might unleash a tigress.

S.

 

[SweetErika]

There may be a question here about how many ladies go through an (often) short phase where they push their comfort zone and try a bunch of things, then fall back into very basic things.

The woman may be acting out (rebellion or new found freedom), or exploring and not having a good experience (like anal done wrong), or are used by people who think a wild reputation is a license to force a woman to do things the woman doesn't want to do, or they have a moral crisis steming from thier early upbringing, or realize they can't emotionally support things like multiple partners.

So how many women go though a wild phase and then signaficantly revert?

Right on the money, readyone! I did. When I was first exploring at 16+ or so, I didn't feel there was anything wrong with sex and I tried almost everything without reservation. I'm sure my partners from that period would classify me as wild, and I thought it was perfectly normal to be free, enjoy, and learn new things. No regrets, even today. However, I got into a relationship with a man (my husband) who wasn't very experienced and had some pretty puritanical views on sex. I was myself for awhile, but eventually I slipped over to his way of doing things because I didn't want him to think I was a slut or a freak. Then something traumatic occured, and I stopped having sex all together for a long time. A few months ago, I had a "reawakening", and now my views and sex life is back to the way it was when I was younger. With time and a whole lot of trust, my husband has also become more adventurous and is feeding my need to try new things. After six years, we're both on the same wavelength...wild (which is actually the norm, or the way it should be IMHO).

 

[swiftwings23]

Good things to consider.....

I have been married and was with a woman 4 years granted that's not a extremely long time. We are no longer together. There have been other relationships that lasted a year or so but not any longer. One poster asked if these relationships were the types where we shared everything the answer is yes. Maybe it just takes more time like most of you suggested. Oh someone said good girls make the best bad girls, I did believe that until I dated the woman I married lol. To bad it's not 100% true lol. Thanks for the replys everyone.


Swifty

 

[SweetErika]

Swift, you might have some sort of luck looking for a woman who didn't have an extremely religious or conservative upbringing. Not that people who had that type of childhood can't be wild, but I'm convinced my inherent belief that sex is natural and is supposed to give great pleasure has been a primary factor in my desire and willingness to explore and be open to new ideas. Just a thought.

 

[Needssome]

In the past I could be fairly wild fairly quickly but some of it took a little bit of coaxing (not forcing, just something being brought up more than once). Everytime I try something new I'm a little embarrassed and worried what my partner will think. Right now I'm in a committed relationship where we communicate a great deal about sex, but my major inhibitions come from both what society tells me and the fact I know my partner isn't quite as kinky as me (but I'm doing my best to corrupt him). On the positive side, (again at times with a bit of coaxing) I'm willing to try (almost) anything once. However, I do have friends who aren't as sexually free as I am (not that there's anything wrong with that). Why? I don't know. Perhaps I just have particularly conservative friends or they're too embarrassed to admit what they're really into. If my friends are representative (and honest) of most women out there in their 20s then I would say a relatively small percentage of women are truly "wild". At least I hope so...I enjoy being unusual and making all my former exes very sad I'm off the market for little get togethers . A little bit of begging from an ex for a reunion does wonders for a girl's self-esteem.

 

[assister49]

There may be a question here about how many ladies go through an (often) short phase where they push their comfort zone and try a bunch of things, then fall back into very basic things.

<snip>

So how many women go though a wild phase and then signaficantly revert?

I find myself going up and down, in and out of my comfort zone, trying new things to see if I like them. As I incorporate the things I like into my "routine" more and more, they become more natural and do not feel outside of my comfort zone anymore. But it is a relatively slow process to get to the point where the zone is elevated permanently.

As mentioned by others, it can also depend on who you are with - how open they are, etc.

 

[Cardinal]

No no no no no

If you want a freak, and by your post I assume you want a freak (freaks are good) find a woman with low self esteam. She'll be clingy and needy but the sex will be fantasitc because she will think that if she pleases you in every kinky way that you want that you'll love her. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that you find someone and use them I just think that you may need to change your focus if you aren't getting want.
And before I get a lot of piss and vinegar responses from the "sexually liberated feminists" I am just telling it like it is. This is not how it is for me, I am married to an intelligent equal who is neither needy nor clingy.
But in conclusion you need a woman with low self esteam.
Good luck.

 

[Noor]

Re: No no no no no

If you want a freak, and by your post I assume you want a freak (freaks are good) find a woman with low self esteam. She'll be clingy and needy but the sex will be fantasitc because she will think that if she pleases you in every kinky way that you want that you'll love her. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that you find someone and use them I just think that you may need to change your focus if you aren't getting want.
And before I get a lot of piss and vinegar responses from the "sexually liberated feminists" I am just telling it like it is. This is not how it is for me, I am married to an intelligent equal who is neither needy nor clingy.
But in conclusion you need a woman with low self esteam.
Good luck.

I disagreed. A woman with high self esteem is better because you know she is doing what she wants to do as an equal partner.

I was very experimental in high school, mainly I guess because I was with a group of people I knew very well and trusted completely. I lived in a different world then I never saw jealousy or the kind of malicious stuff I saw later on in life.

Now it depends on my relationship with my partner, and my mood. I don't consider anything I do kinks as they are normal to me. When I was about 27, I got into really high intensity sex and I prefer that. You can't get that from a needy partner who is just trying to please.

 

[WallyLlama]

Fascinating thread...

I've long speculated that women are/can be much more, um, passionate/horny than they are... a lot of it is supressed for many different reasons (including the lack of trust issue mentioned here).

I'm currently in a "relationship" (long distance/cyber/phone) with a woman who wanted to explore her potential so to speak. (The long distance and anomity aspect contributes to the safety, no doubt.) We've both been excited that there are many days when she's a "morning, noon, and night" sort of person. That may not have much to do with the topic, but I had to tell someone. LOL

I'm not so much talking about kinkiness and trying different techniques. ("This time I'll be the cheerleader.") I sometimes think that the energy we put into techniques could also - and perhaps better - be applied to how much pleasure can I/we experience. Then the techniques become secondary.

I have known a number of women in their 40's who've admitted they've "come to life" and seem to "want it" all the time. I do think the maturing and self-confidence helps. Maybe it's biological. I'd prefer enjoying it over analyzing it.

The cheerleader outfit may be cute, but what really blows my mind is a woman who's able and willing to explore how much pleasure she can find in her and her partner's body, mind, and spirit. Now if her partner's going to do the same...

 

[Cardinal]

Thanks Noor

I see your point, however, the thread was started with a question about how to find wild women. Your point that you can't get high intensity sex from a needy person may be true for you (and probably most women) but for most men you can get high intensity sex from a stranger (most women don't use prostitutes for example while some men do and probably get the high intensity sex that they want.)
I do agree with you about a trusting loving relationship since that is what I have. My advice was where to find wild women. In other words I'm not a pig I just know how to be one!

 

[Needssome]

Whether I agree with this or not, I thought I would mention it. According to an article I recently read in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (a fairly major and well-respected journal for Personality and Social psychologists) people in general who are anxiously attached have a tendency to want sex more because it is hypothesized that they use sex for more reasons than just physical pleasure (we all do that, but when listing why they might engage in intercourse there are just more things in general). Anxiously attached people also report fantasizing and thinking about sex more often.

Who exactly are anxiously attached people? Well short of distributing a questionnaire to all potential women in a bar and determining who the anxiously attached ones are, you can't (unless you read a lot of attachment literature and know enough about the woman). However, being anxiously attached is related to neuroticism and low self-esteem. So Cardinal may be correct in his advice.

On the other hand, I did also recently see a talk in which they said that research has shown that women with more masculine-looking faces are more likely to be "sexually unrestricted", have more partners, and are more likely to cheat once in a relationship. This is supposedly related to the higher level of testosterone these types of women have (i.e. higher level means higher sex drive). A lot of these links are purely theoretical and are completely correlational so don't think every more masculine-looking woman is like this or that this research is any sort of proof!

Of course the only research I pay attention to and can remember is about sex . And no, I don't believe I'm a masculine looking woman but I have no lack of sex drive.

 

[fallon2]

How to

Sometimes 'wild women" find you. *smile*
Having said that I know one woman in her 30's who is now coming to terms with her sexual interests and yet still is working out other details . . . and I believe she will.
Another woman in her late 40's is hitting another sexual peak and wants her husband to be involved as well.
Two interesting women ----one who understand that a Master can be a friend and much more if she desires it. Another woman who definitely wants her husband to be treated as her,'Sometimes "wild women" find you.

 

[fallon2]

How to

Sometimes 'wild women" find you. *smile*
Having said that I know one woman in her 30's who is now coming to terms with her sexual interests and yet still is working out other details . . . and I believe she will.
Another woman in her late 40's is hitting another sexual peak and wants her husband to be involved as well.
Two interesting women ----one who understand that a Master can be a friend and much more if she desires it. Another woman who definitely wants her husband to be treated as her. Sometimes "wild women" find you.