Women of Lit: A Safe Place To Share

[forgotmyantidepressants]

Friendships in general were difficult for me once I hit the teenage years. There was a lot going on, and I shut down most relationships that made me emotionally vulnerable, platonic or otherwise. I had some (a few) good friends in college, but I was always a bit standoffish when it came to any deep friendships.

These days, I have several female (and a few male) work friends, but I still have a hard time letting myself go beyond surface friendships. However, since I'm not working now, I'm missing even those more surface work friendships.

I do have one close female friend, but we are sometimes FWBs too, so that makes it a little awkward at times, at least for me. She seems good with it all. She's also almost ten years younger than me, and sometimes that's part of the disconnect. Also, she can be a bit flakey at times, but she can also be a great listener.

Anyway, that's a long way of saying I'm struggling with female friendships too. My Hubby is encouraging me to take the twins to some infant classes, but I'm worried that I'll be older than all the other parents there.

I can't figure out how to connect with other moms. I've met other moms, but when the time comes to leave, we part knowing we'll never see each other again because we're too busy. I've even exchanged phone numbers knowing that when I text her about hanging out, one of her kids will be sick. When she texts me, I'll be out of town at a dead relative's funeral. Or neither of us will text the other because the "getting to know you" phase of any relationship is fucking torture and 9/10 of ten times is not even worth putting effort into.

 

[lil_jenni]

I can't figure out how to connect with other moms. I've met other moms, but when the time comes to leave, we part knowing we'll never see each other again because we're too busy. I've even exchanged phone numbers knowing that when I text her about hanging out, one of her kids will be sick. When she texts me, I'll be out of town at a dead relative's funeral. Or neither of us will text the other because the "getting to know you" phase of any relationship is fucking torture and 9/10 of ten times is not even worth putting effort into.

Yeah, I had that experience the year I was off after my first kiddo. It always seemed like too much work, and when I did try, it felt forced.

But then again, that's how female friendships almost always feel for me. Hell, all friendships, really, with just a few exceptions...

 

[dombeotch]

Maybe schedule it as a play date where the kids can interact while you share a cup of coffee and can chat. See how your schedules go and work in an hour or two when you can get together starting with coffee, and build up to lunch. And if things click maybe a morning. Or afternoon together. Remember your not the only one looking. She's probably looking too... For the women without children, maybe habitat for humanity, or elks club,vfw, American legion. Exposes you to a variety of men and women and gets you out there and sometimes working one on one which could lead to a coffee date and who knows what.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Almost all of my female friends in town came from volunteering to help with costumes for my daughter’s elementary school play. Theater tends to be great ft forging connections… if it’s your sort of thing.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I have read this whole thread from the beginning and I want to say I’m so happy that I found it. There’s an openness and nonjudgmental acceptance that I find refreshing.
Thank you for being here.
I personally haven’t had any problems with the men here but I’m well aware of how they can be having worked in a “non traditional” workplace.
I look forward to seeing more on this thread

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Fucking men picture hunters swear to god.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Fucking men picture hunters swear to god.

Just what is it with the fucking entitlement?! “Send me a pic. No not in that format. No it has to be through this off site medium like this…” just like…

And this is from someone who asked for a pic of his junk rated. I have to jump through hoops to… really?! No matter what you’re packing pal it ain’t that good.

 

[genzsub]

Just what is it with the fucking entitlement?! “Send me a pic. No not in that format. No it has to be through this off site medium like this…” just like…

And this is from someone who asked for a pic of his junk rated. I have to jump through hoops to… really?! No matter what you’re packing pal it ain’t that good.

They should be the ones jumping through hoops for you! And what's with the ego stroking? I thought that was an overblown male stereotype. Is that for real?

 

[Wetkitty09]

They should be the ones jumping through hoops for you! And what's with the ego stroking? I thought that was an overblown male stereotype. Is that for real?

It’s very real. Many feel what they have is a gift to be shared but they also want to be thanked and admired for it. The male ego is such a fragile thing.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Apparently not.

We were chatting about something else and i saw in his profle recent activity he had posted to the “rate my shaft” thread with apparently no response. So I asked him about it and thought “I’ll be cute and funny and offer to rate it, just because we’re having fun otherwise.”

“I’d need to see a pic of you first.” Ok fine there are a lot of catfish on here sure here’s an imjur link I can delete. “I don’t want to share through here do you have <other platform>”. This is when I should have checked out.

But hubby does have that app and I’ve used it sometimes so sure ask if it’s ok and tell him to send it there “I need another pic”

At this point sunk cost fallacy but grab a mirror selfie and cut off the top of my face because no you don’t get my face for this. (No one gets my face) Load to Imgur and send

“No I don’t think you’re you unless you send me a live pic though <platform>” and it’s like… fuck you, pal. Just insane.

What is running through his head here?!

 

[genzsub]

Apparently not.

We were chatting about something else and i saw in his profle recent activity he had posted to the “rate my shaft” thread with apparently no response. So I asked him about it and thought “I’ll be cute and funny and offer to rate it, just because we’re having fun otherwise.”

“I’d need to see a pic of you first.” Ok fine there are a lot of catfish on here sure here’s an imjur link I can delete. “I don’t want to share through here do you have <other platform>”. This is when I should have checked out.

But hubby does have that app and I’ve used it sometimes so sure ask if it’s ok and tell him to send it there “I need another pic”

At this point sunk cost fallacy but grab a mirror selfie and cut off the top of my face because no you don’t get my face for this. (No one gets my face) Load to Imgur and send

“No I don’t think you’re you unless you send me a live pic though <platform>” and it’s like… fuck you, pal. Just insane.

What is running through his head here?!

You went above and beyond. Fuck'em!

 

[stickygirl]

Why is there no vomit or eyeroll reaction emoji?

 

[dombeotch]

Apparently not.

We were chatting about something else and i saw in his profle recent activity he had posted to the “rate my shaft” thread with apparently no response. So I asked him about it and thought “I’ll be cute and funny and offer to rate it, just because we’re having fun otherwise.”

“I’d need to see a pic of you first.” Ok fine there are a lot of catfish on here sure here’s an imjur link I can delete. “I don’t want to share through here do you have <other platform>”. This is when I should have checked out.

But hubby does have that app and I’ve used it sometimes so sure ask if it’s ok and tell him to send it there “I need another pic”

At this point sunk cost fallacy but grab a mirror selfie and cut off the top of my face because no you don’t get my face for this. (No one gets my face) Load to Imgur and send

“No I don’t think you’re you unless you send me a live pic though <platform>” and it’s like… fuck you, pal. Just insane.

What is running through his head here?!

He's not the only guy on here hun...Don't waste your time.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

He's not the only guy on here hun...Don't waste your time.

Oh he hit my ignore list just before I came here to rant.

 

[GlassVentricle]

Fucking men picture hunters swear to god.

And let us not begin to mention how guys will take a perfectly decent picture of you and run it through one of those AI apps that turn you into pornography, which takes about a minute.

I know this because two men on Lit did precisely that to me.

 

[genzsub]

And let us not begin to mention how guys will take a perfectly decent picture of you and run it through one of those AI apps that turn you into pornography, which takes about a minute.

I know this because two men on Lit did precisely that to me.

Wow... I don't know what else to say. Once again, I am shocked and disgusted. I thought I had a pretty good imagination but the sheer lengths of asholeary guys go through to satisfy their personal lusts without concern for who they hurt boggles the mind. Okay, maybe I did have something else to say after all.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

I thought I had a pretty good imagination but the sheer lengths of asholeary guys go through to satisfy their personal lusts without concern for who they hurt boggles the mind.

oh my sweet sweet summer child.

 

[dombeotch]

Wow... I don't know what else to say. Once again, I am shocked and disgusted. I thought I had a pretty good imagination but the sheer lengths of asholeary guys go through to satisfy their personal lusts without concern for who they hurt boggles the mind. Okay, maybe I did have something else to say after all.

Been an assholeary a time or three myself...

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Thank you everyone for the support during my rant yesterday. I love you all.

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

And let us not begin to mention how guys will take a perfectly decent picture of you and run it through one of those AI apps that turn you into pornography, which takes about a minute.

I know this because two men on Lit did precisely that to me.

I'm sorry somebody did that to you. I've thought about posting pics here (face hidden of course), but if that's what guys do, I'm not going to lol

 

[stickygirl]

I'm sorry somebody did that to you. I've thought about posting pics here (face hidden of course), but if that's what guys do, I'm not going to lol

Jeez no! Never put your face on the internet! The authorities can already work out who you are from a mugshot and AI will mean it'll soon be available to any crook.
My sister had a stalker some years ago and the police gave us great advice to protect ourselves online.

I was just thinking... if guys are so fond of posting their dick maybe they could be identified that way? But then... once you've met one dick...

 

[JennyCapricorn]

I'm sorry somebody did that to you. I've thought about posting pics here (face hidden of course), but if that's what guys do, I'm not going to lol

What amazes me of what happened to Ms Glass is that the men sent the “nudes” back to her thinking she would find it a turn on or be proud of their cleverness.

Ick.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Jeez no! Never put your face on the internet!

Nobody gets my face. No way!

 

[dombeotch]

Thank you everyone for the support during my rant yesterday. I love you all.

Hun, no thanks needed. You and we know you would do the same for us.

 

[dombeotch]

What amazes me of what happened to Ms Glass is that the men sent the “nudes” back to her thinking she would find it a turn on or be proud of their cleverness.

Ick.

Sort of saying" You're ok,but can you be this for me"?