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Worst story ever.

oggbashan said:
From DurtGurl's 'Patty Makes The Team':

"Shut the fuck up, and let the next guy in mothua fucka! said Shaquille." And he pushed Myron, and Tyrone with a straightarm out of the way to let Booger Red a 6'6" redhead slid in behind Patty to line up his 11 inch beer bottle thick prick with the still gapping cum smeared poop chute of the blond head cheerleader.

Booger rasped, "Baby, you gonna remember this moment for the rest of your life," as he eased his flag pole into Patty's snug, well lubed rump hole.

"AAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!! Patty screamed as her mind fried in the pain that shuttled from her butt to her brain and back and forth again when her ass hole was stretched open wider than ever. Booger Red's dick felt like it was somebody's whole arm and it was as big as some full grown ones.
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Is it wrong that I laughed at that?
 
LIT needs a Bulwer-Lytton contest for the worst opening line (probably horribly long) of the worst fictive erotica. An erotic thesaurus will probably help here. I'm too addle-pated at the moment to contribute. But after my electro-restart, watch out!
 
Lord have mercy! Where do I start?

Zombie squirrels? Lesbian vampires? A bisexual dude with a 12” dick and a tongue that would rival GeneSimmons? A billionaire with a penchant for BDSM...oh wait! That was a best seller, so I can’t ding that one. Oh! I know! The one where the chick woke up and her 18 year old brother was only 7” tall so she used him as a dildo.

Yes. Sadly, I’ve read those and like you, I got piss drunk and read them a second time. Then I took a shower, curled up on the tub floor, trying to convince myself that I was going to be “alright”.

And yet, here I am.
 
Gosh! Some of you guys amaze me that you read so far. If I come across a bad - or badly written - story, I leave after the third paragraph. :)
 
SamScribble said:
Gosh! Some of you guys amaze me that you read so far. If I come across a bad - or badly written - story, I leave after the third paragraph. :)
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It was like watching a train wreck. Every fiber of my being wanted to stop reading but I couldn’t do it. Everyone knows that nobody like a quitter.
 
SamScribble said:
Gosh! Some of you guys amaze me that you read so far. If I come across a bad - or badly written - story, I leave after the third paragraph. :)
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That's me, so I can't give you any stories I've read. "Eye of Argon" was read to me by two laughing men on YouTube, so I don't have to take responsibility.

Jim Theis may be making more money from his 48-year old story than most of us.
 
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Seriously, dude, ir is okay to quit before your eyes begin bleeding. Maybe just stop when they begin tingling. Baby steps.
 
SamScribble said:
Gosh! Some of you guys amaze me that you read so far. If I come across a bad - or badly written - story, I leave after the third paragraph. :)
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That's what I do, although I'll admit to reading a little bit of Fifty Shades because it made me laugh.
 
SamScribble said:
Gosh! Some of you guys amaze me that you read so far. If I come across a bad - or badly written - story, I leave after the third paragraph. :)
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I quite agree.
I have been know to make it to the fifth paragraph, though.
 
YouDidWhut said:
Lord have mercy! Where do I start?

Zombie squirrels? Lesbian vampires? A bisexual dude with a 12” dick and a tongue that would rival GeneSimmons?
Click to expand...

Hey, now. Lesbian vampires have been part of the genre since 1871.

NotWise said:
That's me, so I can't give you any stories I've read. "Eye of Argon" was read to me by two laughing men on YouTube, so I don't have to take responsibility.

Jim Theis may be making more money from his 48-year old story than most of us.
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He died in 2002, alas.
 
DurtGurl was a group of Authors' Hangout regulars cooperating to write satires of the worst stories they had read on Literotica.

They were Humor/Satire but the stories stopped after a few. DurtGurl had succeeded too well...

DurtGurl stories and poetry
 
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Hypoxia said:
Got any one-star stories?
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No ... I'm honestly surprised people actually seemed to like my first try at a story here.
I'm still waiting for someone to pop up and say 'GOTCHA! WE WERE JUST KIDDING', then dropping the ratings with 4 points or so :D
 
Pleased

Very pleased to see that my name didn't come to mind with this thread topic.
 
My I said:
Ok. Maybe not the worst story in the world, I think it was well thought out, but certainly the longest read to a really bad punchline. It may be the worlds worst groaner. I dare you to read it all. :D
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I will never forgive you for this.
 
Full stories cannot be posted to the forum without specific permission from Laurel. Stories should always go through the standard approval process.

I moved the post to a non-public location. If it was your only copy, feel free to contact me and I'll send the text back to you in a PM, MyI.
 
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