WTF is up with so called straight guys?

[LittleKat91]

.....

 

[njlauren]

I wish we could get rid of the labels, because quite frankly they are outdated as people started being able to express themselves sexually, now if we could just shut up the religious wankers with their iron age notions of sex we would be a lot better off.

When you talk about sexual identity and sex acts it gets confused. I have heard stories from gay and lesbian friends that it is not uncommon for gay men and lesbians on occasion to have sex (one young guy I know told me a story about the time he had sex with a stone cold butch). Very few people are totally straight if Kinsey and others are to be believed, but a lot of people fall in the part of the spectrum where it is unlikely they ever will have a same sex sexual encounter (or an opposite sex one, for those id'ing as gay).

The other thing that makes this complex is a thought that came from another post, which is that if a guy gets an erection from another guy sucking him, does that make him bi? The answer to that one is not always. If you tied a guy to a chair and had another guy play with his cock and blow him, it is likely that the cock will become erect, because the body doesn't always obey the mind. One of the problems with victims of sexual abuse in dealing with the trauma is that they often feel guilt, because their body reacted to what the rapist or abuser was doing, orgasmed, had an erection, whatever, not because they were enjoying or wanting it, but because their body reacted automatically.

Here is another hypothetical....guy is horny, hasn't gotten laid in a while, goes to an adult book store and uses a glory hole, and get sucked..and spends the whole time imaging he is being sucked by the porn goddess on the video screen in the booth with him..is he bi or gay if he is fantasizing about getting sucked by a gal? Gay men and woman get married and are able to have sex with an opposite sex partner, does that really make them bi or straight, if when having sex they are fantasizing about having sex with a same sex partner?

You get the idea, the problem is there are lot of dimensions here and it is complex. If a guy one time gets a blow job from a guy and is able to enjoy it, it may not mean he is bi if it was purely physical, where the sex act (the blow job) was the important thing, not the person giving it (it would be like getting a blow job from a physically attractive person or getting one from someone who is not very attractive, you will get off but in the second case it is more the act then the person, kind of same thing).

I would argue that a person giving a bj is likely bi or gay (if not forced), because there the fact you are sucking a cock makes it a male-male sex act, whereas with a bj because a woman can do it you can fantasize it is a woman doing, whereas sucking a cock is right there in your face, literally.

Years ago I read a book called "sexual landscapes" that was one of the first books that talked about sexual desire, sexual images and why were were attracted to what we were (it is prob close to 40 years old now), and it showed how complex things are. For example, straight women can be turned on by gay porn (male gay porn I mean), which seems weird, but part of the answer lies that the woman is putting herself in the picture as one of the participants, so when a guy is getting screwed, she pictures herself being the one screwed. In other circumstances the act of sex, whatever kind it is, turns people on. They have done studies of people who aren't into S/M, wouldn't do it, never had, never fantasized about it apparently, who could watch an S/M session and get turned on. There are straight men who could watch gay porn and get turned on, not because they are into men (they actually tested this, they had self id'ed straight men look at images of nude men or even live male models, and not show any interest, but show them a gay porn where sex is going on and they showed some erotic repines)...the reason is that images of sex themselves are erotic even if what is being displayed is not something that otherwise would turn the person on, the sex act itself is erotic (so in our original example, the sex act that is a BJ is a turn on, not who is doing it).

Speaking from a personal angle, I ran into this being trans, with so called "admirers", and many of them claimed they were straight, not bi or gay, that they saw us as women who were different, etc....a lot of them that was bullshit, they were either bi or closeted gay looking to do it with someone who looked/presented in some way as a woman, and the reason I say it is they often were looking to be the 'passive/active' partner, they wanted to suck and get fucked (among other charming attributes, they would go up to one of the gals and ask 'how big is your dick' *ick*).

On the other hand, there were those I would argue against them being bi (forget gay), and it was because of the way they interacted with me. They wanted nothing to do with my genitals, never mentioned them, when they touched me or kissed me they seemed to be doing it in a way a man would with a woman (yeah, that is subjective, of course), and the few times I had sex with someone like this, it was being made love to like a woman, there was nothing of male to male energy there and I read nothing but a guy being attracted to what I was presenting as (my control so to speak was the few times I ever had dates with guys who didn't know, which I rarely did, for obvious reasons, and the guys I am talking about who did know didn't act any differently then the ones who didn't). Not going to claim this is a wide ranging experience, you are talking a scant handful of interactions before I realized it wasn't what I wanted, but I think it lends credence to the idea that a guy could be straight and get a bj.

I have to add, though, that I wish quite frankly that the labels didn't exist, that if a guy could enjoy getting a bj from another guy..he got a bj and could enjoy it, big whoop. Labels quite frankly are just boxes people put around us, some with good intentions, others for malicious reasons (for example, labeling a guy who got a BJ as a fag and using it to demean him), I agree with others, admit we are sexual beings and who we have sex with is simply that, who we had sex with....

 

[PricelessT]

...and here's food for thought...

In order to receive a (pleasurable) blow job or to "top" when it comes to anal with a man... An erection is a necessity. This usually means sexual arousal doesn't it?

BUT... in order to give a blow job or to "bottom" when engaging with a man, neither an erection nor sexual arousal is necessary.

So who's "more gay" now?

As some on this forum know, I'm a lesbian. But weighing in here real quick, I will state this:

Some men who engage in sex with men think about women to become sexually aroused; this happens in prison all the time. No women are available and so some heterosexual men take up with a man to get sexual release.

Sexual pleasure/arousal can be separated from sexual attraction, which is why a person can enjoy a sex toy without being sexually attracted to it. Which is why there are a lot of lesbians who like to watch gay male porn. Which is why there are so many gay men who say that they got sexual pleasure from their girlfriends or wives, usually while thinking about men during the act, before they came out as gay.

 

[Chrissi]

As some on this forum know, I'm a lesbian. But weighing in here real quick, I will state this:

Some men who engage in sex with men think about women to become sexually aroused; this happens in prison all the time. No women are available and so some heterosexual men take up with a man to get sexual release.

Sexual pleasure/arousal can be separated from sexual attraction, which is why a person can enjoy a sex toy without being sexually attracted to it. Which is why there are a lot of lesbians who like to watch gay male porn. Which is why there are so many gay men who say that they got sexual pleasure from their girlfriends or wives, usually while thinking about men during the act, before they came out as gay.

Some common sense in this thread.

 

[klippert]

suckers

All the Pop-Psychology gives me a headache. I see it a little different. You tune into CL.....I see 3 maybe 4-1, hell sometimes a whole day of gay guys looking too provide their mouths for use. NSA cock-sucker, prefer married, curious.

The gay guys I know, like the straight guys (or crocked guys, lol). These cock-suckers really like the married guys. No hassles....just a mouth full... One friend in general, doesn't believe the "straight" ads. If your looking to 'suck'....your bi or gay. He told me.

"A Lot of suckers use 'straight', in their ad's, this attracts more (for a better word) curious, Straight-enough or married.... This is the Psychological part of it"....his words

 

[Tiger1978]

I'm bisexual and I've described myself as straight on pick up sites.

Initially because I came quite late to gay sex (first time at 22) so for a time regarded myself as "straight but openminded and curious".

Later (when I definitely wasn't just curious ) I still described myself as "straight" on those sites because I find a lot of gay guys like the idea of going to bed with a straight man.

Its good marketing folks.

But yes, I've had my cock inside a guy and like it - I'm bisexual.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I will never understand why the thought of being bisexual is so scary.

Funny how it is never talked about in the military. It would have really messed up the "don't ask , don't tell" policy. Guess it would break their brains if they thought about it too much!

Haven't you heard? They abolished that months ago.