Your favourite smesh awful erotica descriptive phrase of less than 5 words

[JasonClearwater]

Have you heard the "My dad wrote a porno" podcast? Some gold plated euphemisms in there.

Oh my fucking days.

Belinda fucking blinked, didn't she.

'Vaginal lids popped open'

'Her steaming vagina'

'He grabbed her cervix'

 

[JasonClearwater]

“he grabbed her by the cervix” is a classic

Snap. And don't forget that Youngish Man at the hotel.

 

[Jada59]

Oh my fucking days.

Belinda fucking blinked, didn't she.

'Vaginal lids popped open'

'Her steaming vagina'

'He grabbed her cervix'

Holy cow! My vagina has no lid! What shall I do?

 

[JasonClearwater]

Holy cow! My vagina has no lid! What shall I do?

Clearly, you need to get one installed.

 

[Jada59]

Clearly, you need to get one installed.

Dang! It's not that big! But I did live in a house that had one of those in the closet.

 

[MistressCassy]

Oh my fucking days.

Belinda fucking blinked, didn't she.

'Vaginal lids popped open'

'Her steaming vagina'

'He grabbed her cervix'

^^ These have made my day, cervix grabbing...mmmmm

 

[Oblimo]

Each is worse than the last - you have been warned

“Batter down my virgin door!”
(That’s an Anne Rice gem)

“Shoot your goo my dude!”
(That’s from a liberal hentai translation)

“Your sperm is raping my sperm, Mom!”
(That’s from a literal hentai translation)

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

"Buffin' the Muffin" referring to a woman masturbating. I thought no it was Chris Moore in "The Stupidest Angel".

I doubt he frequents Lit, so I'm keeping it!

 

[lovecraft68]

ropes of semen

Not even Peter North shot 'ropes of semen"

 

[oggbashan]

"Buffin' the Muffin" referring to a woman masturbating. I thought no it was Chris Moore in "The Stupidest Angel".

I doubt he frequents Lit, so I'm keeping it!

"Growling at the Badger" is a Scots term for cunnilingus.

Another:

Munching the Merkin

 

[rae121452]

"my honeypot's on fire"

 

[Javahead]

Her cavern of fire

Her cherry-ette of fire

 

[Blase]

“Your sperm is raping my sperm, Mom!”
(That’s from a literal hentai translation)

Hentai translations are the worst! So many of them make you think, "Fuck, I HOPE this stuff sounds hot in Japanese!"

 

[Javahead]

“hammered her tight twat”
“nailed her oozing gash”
“Oozed from her creaming cunt”

 

[CuteSlaveLisa]

I want passion, not a Kallax shelf unit...

Insert tab "A" into slot...

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann

 

[Piscator]

Terry as a woman under her tool age was going to become a perfect willing submissive tender loving bitch.

 

[Erlikkhan]

Plucking her peach

fondling her globes

drinking her love juice

licking her shit hole

probing her love pot

 

[jsmiam]

“Talking to the canoe driver” (credit unknown)

“Shining his helmet” (credit Beavis and Butthead)

 

[sporkfina]

Sodden cunt (proud user myself)

 

[Piscator]

well over 5 words but a new classic

"like some crazed and methodical Singer sewing machine, doing a systematic zig-zag stitch along my body"

protected souce

 

[UsuallyPresent]

referring to a dead young woman of the author's acquaintance -

"nubile breasts would never grow"

 

[AlexJayce]

"Mewling like tigers in heat"
All I can think of is the most obnoxious cat meowing sounds at 3 am

 

[Piscator]

"more than the word cunnilingus rolls smoothly from my tongue"

 

[SisterJezabel]

"Growling at the Badger" is a Scots term for cunnilingus.

Another:

Munching the Merkin

Down under we simply 'Dine on furburger!'

 

[SisterJezabel]

"Milky boobies?"

It was the first sex chat I ever received the night I switched on the internet for the first time and entered a chat room 23 years ago!