….pick up younger woman at a bar, what makes older men attractive to younger woman

[Booboobear84]

THIS! I’ve flirted with (or more) many older men in my favorite dive bar. Loved when they would tell the bartender to put me on their tab. Loved when they’d seem to take a genuine interest in me. Hated when they’d get too drunk and seem sloppy. Hated when they felt entitled to grope me just because they’d bought me a $5 drink.

You mean there is actually value in behaving like a gentleman. I'm shocked, shocked to hear this.

Seriously, I think the only way to do this is to behave way you think a man should behave (i.e. be a gentleman). This will only attract certain women, but do you want a woman who is attracted a man who behaves poorly? What kind of woman is that? For that matter what kind of man are you if you will behave otherwise as a way to attract women?

 

[IrisAlthea]

Of course! Isn't that a given?!
Hang on - are you being ironic? Sorry I'm always slow at this!

Don’t worry about it. I confuse myself at times.
While I agree that a good part of the money people spend on things like that might not get the the results they wanted and/or could be better spent elsewhere, I can’t get 100% behind the quote here either:

I don't think being an attractive man is something you can learn from any source: you've either got it or you haven't. Shower, wear clothes that suit your age

While some people can even rock the
”living under a bridge”-look, most of us are just going to look like trolls if we did.

I think there are parts of this that you can learn.
Some people actually need help to learn what type of clothes best suit them and their age and situation.
Going to a good hair stylist, who helps you get a haircut that actually suits can make a huge difference.
Last but not least, lots of people don’t have the knowledge to build a heathier lifestyle and having a look that makes your intended catch go look for the heart starter might not get you the kind of attention you wanted.

Part of attraction is definitely physical and feeling better about how you look can also make a huge change in how you approach others.

But yeah, it’s quite possible to overdo it and spend money in useless and counter productive stuff too.

 

[LeaHaven]

Older men know how to s l o w d o w n.

I don't want to give you the wrong impression with my joke about the security guard. I don't have a problem with older guys. There are plenty of hot older guys.

 

[FloridaJoe]

One attribute women look for is confidence, or how you carry/present yourself. I grew up in the south in a fairly red neck city. We had disco's, rock bars, and redneck bars. I fit in more in the rock bars, not so much in the others. I learned one thing early on...don't try to be something or somebody you're not, you'll only humiliate yourself. Be yourself. Nothing wrong with looking for a younger woman, even I found one.

This thread reminds me of an old .38 Special song, "Wild Eyed Southern Boys". The lyrics go, "A man of wealth and power, is out on the dancehall floor, he's got a champagne Eldorado parked out side the door, he's looking for a honky-tonk angel, but he don't stand a chance in hell, cause he ain't no Wild Eyed Southern Boy".

 

[L1511p]

So i'm mid 60's, dont hang out in bars, but i met a woman mid 40's online who was looking for a serious relationship. We flirted a few months online, we met up which entailed long haul flights and fucked like rabbits for a weekend, and we have been lovers for 5 years, and i will live with her soon. It can happen...

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Without any attempt to mock, I think you need to reassess your basic question, OP. You specifically asked ‘in a bar’. Maybe that’s not the right place? It’s often not the right place even for a young man.

Perhaps think about what distinguishes you from some egocentric 20-something jock? No, you no longer have abs of steel and probably don’t know all the micron-thin drivel that passes for current ‘culture’. On the plus side, I’ll bet you:

• have better manners, treat a girl like a lady, proper etiquette ‘n’ stuff. It matters. It sets you apart.
• are kind and patient, care about her as a person, not just one more potential spittoon for your sperm.
• listen to her when she talks.
• have lived long enough that you know real shit about women, not that androcentric garbage picked up from porn flicks.
• once she gets you into bed, she’ll be delighted to discover that you lost that hair-trigger 40 years ago.

The world is filled with young women, many in places interacting with the public. Every one is an opportunity.

Have fun!

 

[stickygirl]

On the back of the Russell Brand scandal, there's an interesting piece in the Guardian. Women might find the article insightful, about how teenage sexual experiences persist in shaping our later lives.

"The norm that was set for me wasn’t sexual violence, but that the men dominated sexually, financially, generally. I didn’t choose where we went, what records were played; little was up to me. I couldn’t have been further from a state of relaxed and happy agency when I was with them. I would go so far as to say that the insidious indoctrination of sexism throughout my girlhood peaked with the older man dynamic."

 

[LeaHaven]

Without any attempt to mock, I think you need to reassess your basic question, OP. You specifically asked ‘in a bar’. Maybe that’s not the right place? It’s often not the right place even for a young man.

Perhaps think about what distinguishes you from some egocentric 20-something jock? No, you no longer have abs of steel and probably don’t know all the micron-thin drivel that passes for current ‘culture’. On the plus side, I’ll bet you:

• have better manners, treat a girl like a lady, proper etiquette ‘n’ stuff. It matters. It sets you apart.
• are kind and patient, care about her as a person, not just one more potential spittoon for your sperm.
• listen to her when she talks.
• have lived long enough that you know real shit about women, not that androcentric garbage picked up from porn flicks.
• once she gets you into bed, she’ll be delighted to discover that you lost that hair-trigger 40 years ago.

The world is filled with young women, many in places interacting with the public. Every one is an opportunity.

Have fun!

In a PM someone told me that this site if for middle aged folks. Maybe that is true, and maybe I don't belong here, but I feel like your comments are unfair to us 20-somethings.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

In a PM someone told me that this site if for middle aged folks. Maybe that is true, and maybe I don't belong here, but I feel like your comments are unfair to us 20-somethings.

LH - I do apologize if that is how my post came across. The 'sin of youth' is one which all of us must admit to at some point. I was attempting to respond to a man of certain years in a way which he might understand.

Women are held to be more aware of their aging, but I also think men can on occasion be very aware of what the years have taken and left. In this case, he is competing (for the affection of young women) with the young men he sees around him - men with no hair loss, no love handles, no grey hair, a better knowledge of current culture and music and so forth. Those are in some ways formidable issues to an older man and it was my intent to remind him that he too can capitalize on some strengths.

Again, not to diss the young. Youth is wonderful. We should all enjoy the day in which we find ourselves.

 

[Britva415]

In a PM someone told me that this site if for middle aged folks

What a douche.

 

[stickygirl]

What a douche.

Quite so
it's for pensioners
Older men
Hot

 

[ericalauren]

What a douche.

I've been on this website since I was 20 years old. I'm sure that there are still some young adults here.

 

[Britva415]

I've been on this website since I was 20 years old. I'm sure that there are still some young adults here.

You get that I was referring to the person who sent the douchey PM and not to the person who posted here, right?

 

[LeaHaven]

What a douche.

Oh, no. The person who made that comment was not trying to run me off or anything. He was only wondering how I ended up here.

 

[Spunejahye]

Honestly, just be yourself.

I guess what I am trying to say is that back in my nightclub days, if I was going to a nightclub with girlfriends, you can bet we were hoping to meet guys. But none of us were hoping to meet an older guy. Why would we?

The way you say that, you imply that older, mature people have no value, when the truth is in fact the other way around. Being young isn't what gives you value and substance.

I dated a 21 y.o. when I was 40. She pursued me. The relationship didn't end because she lost interest in me, but because I lost interest in her. The wisdom, knowledge and skills that I have gained through experience cannot be gotten out of a book. Everything I ever set my hand to I did with excellence. I have a solid understanding of, and confidence in who Iam and what I'm capable of. I never have trouble making interesting conversation with younger women. I'm 66 and most men in their early 40s wish they could have my health, energy and vitality. As for sex, I do

Honestly, just be yourself.

I guess what I am trying to say is that back in my nightclub days, if I was going to a nightclub with girlfriends, you can bet we were hoping to meet guys. But none of us were hoping to meet an older guy. Why would we?

The way you say that, you imply that older, mature people have no value, when the truth is in fact the other way around. Being young isn't what gives you value and substance.

I dated a 21 y.o. when I was 40. She pursued me. The relationship didn't end because she lost interest in me, but because I lost interest in her. The wisdom, knowledge and skills that I have gained through experience cannot be gotten out of a book. Everything I ever set my hand to I did with excellence. I have a solid understanding of, and confidence in who Iam and what I'm capable of. I never have trouble making interesting conversation with younger women. I'm 66 and most men in their early 40s wish they could have my health, energy and vitality. As for sex, I don't now, nor have I ever needed the assistance of viagra. I am capable of multiple sessions. Just give me 20-30 minutes to recover and I can go for another hour or two.

You say none of you were looking to meet olders guys why would you? Because I have what younger guys have and what they don't. And because I am a giver, not a taker.

 

[Britva415]

I'm 66 and most men in their early 40s wish they could have my health, energy and vitality. As for sex, I don't now, nor have I ever needed the assistance of viagra. I am capable of multiple sessions. Just give me 20-30 minutes to recover and I can go for another hour or two.

How do you do it?

 

[tristantrotsky]

As a younger woman with an older boyfriend, I can tell you it’s not about money, not for all of us anyway. It has more to do with his confidence, his life experience, and his knowing how to treat a woman… as well as the bedroom tricks he’s picked up along the way

An older man will treat you with respect, take you out to a restaurant, buy you little gifts, and he's oh-so grateful when you suck his cock...

 

[Britva415]

may be getting released back into the wild soon

So, catch us up. Are you released? Then what happened?

 

[shizzz]

So, catch us up. Are you released? Then what happened?

I am currently in group therapy….couples counseling. But the last 6 months have left me more assured at ending it….

 

[ImiGirrst]

I dated an older guy in college. When we met, I was 19 and he was 48. We dated for about four years, but only because he was very wealthy, and I needed money for college. He was an attractive, wonderful guy, but we had very little in common. I lived in the young-adult world, and he lived in the middle-aged world. Without the money aspect, I wouldn't have had any interest in him. Given our age difference, I couldn't see him as a long-term relationship, and if I just wanted sex, there were far better options.

So to answer your own question, put yourself in her position. Why would she be interested in you? There may be plenty of reason, but you need to decide what that is and be prepared to present your case.

Good luck!

Sounds like you met my ex-husband.

 

[Inthelastrow]

I dated a 27 year old when I was 51 and a 31 year old when I was 55. The first GF I met through work, the second at a brew pub talking about our shared interests over beer. Both occasions were wonderful and no it wasn't about the money, though I am sure it was a factor...after all I paid for dinner and drinks and other treats when we went out. The relationships were great, the sex was great (no need for blue pills with these ladies) and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. I loved getting to know who they were and what's become of them. Both relationships ended when my job moved me to another location.

 

[hereexploring]

At 49, I guess I am the older man. I'm eager to hear from younger women... What I'll add to the convo is it is true, it seems each year I age, I see more attention from younger women. Not sure why but can confirm it and am fond of it!

 

[Booboobear84]

I dated a 27 year old when I was 51 and a 31 year old when I was 55. The first GF I met through work, the second at a brew pub talking about our shared interests over beer. Both occasions were wonderful and no it wasn't about the money, though I am sure it was a factor...after all I paid for dinner and drinks and other treats when we went out. The relationships were great, the sex was great (no need for blue pills with these ladies) and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. I loved getting to know who they were and what's become of them. Both relationships ended when my job moved me to another location.

For many women it's the psychology of it. They like a man who is competent and independent. The way you talk says it, but also the way you act. Paying for things as a matter of course (but not bribing them with over expensive things) attracts women who like long term stable relationships. It comports with everything else that is desirable in an older man. Note there are many women that aren't looking for this. It's all about finding a woman whose desires match with what you are. The false assumption we often make is that all women want X, regardless of X. Different women want different things.

 

[Inthelastrow]

I never sensed that these ladies wanted anything more than just a normal relationship. They never asked for money or hinted at some type of sugar daddy arrangement. It was regular dating. Having said that there were age differences, generational differences, we had to get used to But that was part of the fun.

 

[L1511p]

Im 66, she is 42, she likes the aforementioned stability, smartness, lack of BS generally, but apart from that its a pretty normal sexually very healthy relationship. Some women do have an age preference, some want an older guy and some want a young boy, its nature... We do have one thing with younger women, the life insurance/pension industry is on our side, when we die they have to pay a widow for decades lol....

Also its true - you do feel as young as the woman you feel...