2011 Survivor: Off Topic & Chatting Thread

You're not going to believe this, because I find this hard to believe myself, but there it is in the Official Survivor 2011 rules.

For those of you who didn't get the Official Survivor 2011 rules, allow me to read you the one rule that this post is about.

In Rule #16 and I realize your rules only go up to #15, but you're going to have to trust me on this, and I quote, "Should the moderator suddenly disappear, the contest is over and whatever scores are posted at her last posting, officially ends the contest and whoever has the highest score wins."

Wow! I know. I couldn't believe it either. I won the Survivor contest with a lousy 129 points. Who would have figured?

Thank you. Yes, I just won the 2011 Survivor Contest. Thank you, everyone.

It was hard, but I'm glad it's over. Certainly, I felt as if I've survived something, kind of, not really, a little bit. I mean, even though I wrote less then 3 dozen stories in this contest, to be honest, it felt as if I wrote 300 stories.

I'm spent. I'm drained. Actually, I'm glad this contest is over because I'm not sure if I could have competed anymore. Other than these nonsensical posts, I don't think I could have written another thing. That reminds me, I have to write that ransom note.

Laurel, please send my $500 check, payable to me, to the regular place. Thank you.

To all those who participated and who tried unsuccessfully to participate in the 2011 Survivor Contest, good luck next year, losers.

I'd like to thank my mother for giving birth to me and my second grade teacher, Miss Crimmons for instilling in me the ability to write, when she had me write on the blackboard, 500 times, that I will never flash my penis to Sally.

Hmm, now what? I guess I should get ready for the Earth Day contest. Yep, don't know what else to do, now that the 2011 Survivor Contest is over and I won. I wonder who came in 2nd place. Maybe Boxlicker. I dunno. I don't really care.

 
All kidding aside, does anyone know where Crimson Maiden is, not that I really care where she is or what she's doing, only in how her sudden absence, disappearance relates to the Survivor Contest?

Does anyone know if she's returning? Does anyone know if she's still moderating this contest? She hasn't made a post in a month.

Does anyone know if she was arrested for drunking driving, or for flashing her panties in public, and/or for drunken driving and flashing her panties in public?

Does anyone know if we still have a 2011 Survivor's Contest? Does anyone care about the contest, other than me? Why do I feel that I'm writing to myself?

There's no one here. I could walk around naked, dance naked actually (Eww), and no one would know. I could write graffiti.

BOSTONFICTIONWRITER, my dear friend, should have won the 2007 and 2008 Survivor Contest but was cheated out of winning. Andtheend, my other dear friend, should have won the 2010 Survivor contest, but was cheated out of that by a writer, who was allowed to write anything and post it anywhere.

Hmm, I like this graffitti thing. Maybe I'll do one on the other side of the room, but in red.

BOSTONFICTIONWRITER, my dear friend, should have won the 2007 and 2008 Survivor Contest. Andtheend, my other dear friend, should have won the 2010 Survivor contest, but was cheated out of that by a writer, who was allowed to write anything and post it anywhere.

Wow! I rather like that. It looks almost like an accent wall. I better get out of here before someone calls the police. Wait, being that I'm BOSTONFICTIONWRITER and Andtheend, as well as CarBuffStuff, PositiveThinker, and WmForrester, they're going to think that I wrote this. Shit. What to do, what to do? Oh, I know.

This wasn't written by Bostonfictionwriter or by Andtheend. This was written by a fan.

Signed,

PrincessErin.

There. Perfect.

Ah, somehow, I feel better, as if I'm in balance and the world is in harmony...with me.
 
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I haven't seen her, Ralphie. Hell, I haven't seen anybody. I dunno where she is, I'm just glad I got a scorecard while the getting was good.
 
Being that there is no moderator for this contest, my offer still stands.

Wait, just to make sure. Let me double check.

"Hello? Crimson Maiden? Are you here? Hello?"

See?

I, BOSTONFICTIONWRITER, 2nd place finisher of the Survivor Contest in 2007 and 2008, CarBuffStuff, WmForrester, PositiveThinker, 6th place Survivor Contest finisher in 2009, Andtheend, 2nd place finisher in 2010, and now SuperHeroRalph, we all, hereby volunteer to moderate this contest, unless, of course, someone else wants to moderate it.

I dare say, being the anal accountant that I am, I certainly can maintain a few scorecards, the overall leader board, and a little immunity thread. You should see some of my Excel spreadsheets. They'd make your eyes glaze over.

Further, as the creative and prolific writer that I am, I'd entertain everyone with my posts, too. I am kind of funny, aren't I?

Not to blow my own horn, but having written nearly 900 stories and 100 poems, more than 6 million words that have amassed more than 30 million hits, I've proven myself as a Literotica devotee. Without doubt, the six of us, BOSTONFICTIONWRITER, Andtheend, CarBuffStuff, PositiveThinker, WmForrester, and now SuperHeroRalph, on the top ten list of modest writers are six of the best (lol).

My story, Spending the Summer Stripping My Mom, written by Andtheend (me), is #14 on the top 250 story list for 12 months. My story I Love You Mommy, written by WmForrester (me), is #226 on the all time 250 list. Not bad considering there are more than 50,000 writers and more than 2 million stories.

I would have had 2 other stories in the top 10 all time list, written by BOSTONFICTIONWRITER (me), had I not pulled them to publish them. In 2007, one story had 850,000 hits and the other had 650,000 hits, after only being submitted for a couple of months. God only knows how many hits they'd have 4 years later.

Anyway, the point remains, making me the Survivor Contest moderator is better than having no moderator at all. Isn't it? C'mon, seriously, this is nuts.

What the Hell kind of contest is this?
 
It's so quiet in here. No one talking. How is everyone doing? I'm working on an Earth Day story at the moment.
I think I'm going to message all the participants so we can have some good conversations.

Erin

Please don't message me, Erin. If I must read another one of our crazy PM messages, I'm going to kill myself.

Actually, I've been making my daily post to this thread. If I say so myself, by all those opening this thread to read, I've been very entertaining.

"Thank you, Erin, that was very kind of you to say that I'm the best writer on Literotica. Wow. Have you been drinking again? Skipped your twilight medication?"

George is still at Yankee Stadium surrounded by all those women in panties. We won't be hearing from him in a while. The rest are on the Survivor cruise. Did you miss the boat? I didn't want to go this year. I went the last four years.

Listen, if you run down the dock, jump in the water, I think you can still catch up to the boat. Here, hold these heavy concrete slabs. Trust me, they float, kind of, not realy, not at all. Good luck.



 
Are you kidding me?

Well, there's breaking news on the Crimson Maiden disappearance.

You heard it here first at Roller Derby, don't forget.

It turns out that Crimson wasn't kidnapped, didn't hit her head in a car accident, is not passed out drunk somewhere, or lost at sea. Apparently, she's renegotiating her contract. Wow! You're kidding. I had no idea.

I thought she volunteered her time. I thought the only one paid to moderate and or write for this site was Scouries, but I was wrong. It appears that Crimson is Queen Laurel's go to girl.

So, how much is Crimson paid, I wondered? I have no idea. How much more money does she want? Your guess is as good as my guess. Actually, it's not money that she wants.

So, what's the problem? Just give her the damn raise. She works really hard. Okay not for the past month. Most of February and now March, she hasn't done a damn thing but sit on her panties.

Well, come closer to the screen. I don't want everyone to hear. I heard it from a friend, who heard it from a friend, who knows someone that cuts Crimson's hair, so this is just as if Crimson said this. I know. From her mouth to her ears, to her ears, to her ears, to this post. It doesn't get any better than that.

Anyway, it turns out that Crimson wants a wardrobe allowance? Huh? Seriously? That's what all this is about? Why? All she wears are a pair of panties.

Either someone is being cheap or the other is being stingy. C'mon, it's just a pair of panties for God's sakes. Give Crimson the panty allowance and let's get on with the contest. Look, I'll even pay for the panties, so long as I can put them on her (lol). Really, how much can a pair of panties cost?

This is not right. First there's no football for 2011. Then, Crimson disappears. What's next? Bad tidings come in threes.

I just hope to God that the Red Sox are healthy. This is the year. I think. I hope. Although...wait until next year.

 
Ralphie, Just so you know how much panties cost, really good ones, I've paid $21 for a pair. That's just one pair, not a pack of three. I don't know why I bothered. They don't stay on for very long, but they feel great, look great, and that's the part that matters.

I will stay tuned for tomorrow's episode of the Missing Crimson Caper. This is getting interesting.:eek:
 
Ralphie, Just so you know how much panties cost, really good ones, I've paid $21 for a pair. That's just one pair, not a pack of three. I don't know why I bothered. They don't stay on for very long, but they feel great, look great, and that's the part that matters.

I will stay tuned for tomorrow's episode of the Missing Crimson Caper. This is getting interesting.:eek:


I'm not surprised by the cost of good lingerie.

Back in the late 80's, I dated a woman who had all over her clothes custom made. She paid $35 for one pair of panty. Wow!

For that price, I could buy a pack of BVD briefs, tee shirts, socks, and have enough left over to get my car washed and buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

Still, I don't want to go on strike, but without really knowing what's going on with Crimson and Laurel, I can't take sides or play favorites. This is just silly and a waste of my time. I just wanted to participate in the Survivor Contest.

(Can you hear the violin music in the background?)

I just want to write my stories. That's it. I'm not political. I'm just a fictionwriter. I make posts here to give me a break from writing my stories.

Yet, if I must carry a sign and picket the Survivor Contest, I will.

"Show us your panties! Flash me your panties! In support of Survivor by flashing!"

I remember a time, not that long ago, in 2007, when the scoreboard and scorecards were routinely updated. It was a time, when Crimson was actually smiling, instead of turning her backside on us.

Ah, I remember those good old days, as if it was yesterday, when immunities were posted the very next day. Now, we practically have to fly to England to get the number.

I've joked around a lot, but I just hope Crimson is okay. I realize that's an old photo of her panties, just as I realize that she's wicked old. Someone said she was over 80-years-old. I don't know, as I've never seen her face, just her panty clad ass.

Someone else said that she was a cross dresser from Brussels. I have no idea. I'm sure they have cross dressers everywhere, including Brussels, but I just never imagined Crimson Maiden being a cross dresser.

Someone said that she lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a stone's throw from Harvard University, where she's studying for her Ph. D. in Economics, the real reason she's called Crimson.

Yet, I never pictured Crimson the brainiac type. Although, she could fit the mad professor, as she loses her temper, especially with me, quite easily.

Nonetheless, whatever the behind the scenes drama, I wish they'd just restart this contest. I have a bunch more points to post, after having written 51 stories, in every category, for the Earth Day Contest. I slacked off the last contest, when I only wrote 30 stories for the Valentine's Contest. I'm hoping to write 100 stories for the Nude Day Contest. Wow!

Yep, I'm been busy writing Earthy stories. That's what I live to do, to write. I live to write. I love to write.

I hope that I can count on the continued support of my bashers to bash all my stories to make sure that I never win a contest here. When a basher feels the need to bash my story, it makes me realize his or her anger and frustration that my story was so good that he or she had to write, "You story sucked and you do, too."

Normally, though, they make a grammatical error, when writing that one sentence.

"Ah, I feel better writing that. It makes me realize how political this site is."

Always remember, it's not how good your story is, but who writes the story. Oh, yeah! The most popular writer always wins over the more talented writer. Don't forget that.

Don't believe me? Just open a writer's page, one that is littered with red H's and read one of his or her stories. I know, I get the same feeling, like vomiting in my mouth.

Now, open one of my stories, whether it's a story from BOSTONFICTIONWRITER in 2007 and 2008, or a story from CarBuffStuff, PositiveThinker, or WmForrester in 2009, or a story from Andtheend in 2010, or my latest stories from SuperHeroRalph in 2011.

Do you see the difference? You can actually chew my stories, while tasting the characters. No matter. It's not about winning contests to me. It's about writing and writing stories. It's about creating real characters. It's about becoming a better writer.

These other people may win a contest on Literotica, but I've won more than that.

(Okay, key in the band music and the fireworks.)





 
Once again, Freddie, or Ralph or whatever the hell name you're using this week....if you're not in the contest(s) to win and you don't care if you win or not, then why bother bitching about it? You've spent the better part of 4 years complaining about being cheated out of winning Survivor and the special contests.

If you're only here to write and you don't give a shit about the contests, then shut the hell up and write already.

And go ahead with your usual lame insults towards me, I won't lower myself by replying to you.

Wait, I'll do it for you:

"Put down the cheese doodles."

"You're fat."

"You're ugly."

"You have no life because you have over 2800 posts on these boards."

Did I cover them all? Of course, you have variations and you'll probably post them, but whatever.
 
Perhaps...

If all those who wanted to participate in the 2011 Survivor Contest, voiced their displeasure with not having a moderator in the contest, we'd have a moderator by now.

If I'm the only one complaining, my pleas have fallen on deaf ears.

Please, all those who have already signed up for the contest, make a post and all those who have yet to receive a scorecard make a post here, also.

If enough of us complain, maybe we can get the contest back on track.

Thank you
 
Clearly someone who is actually in the contest should be more concerned then you.

I will repeat what I responded to a few newbie participants already.
You can find your scorecard here http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=633353

You don't need to update your scorecard until December so you can just update it on your computer and then cut and paste it when the time comes.
We all know that what you post and what is correct isn't always the same so updating the "scoreboard" is useless. It's like updating who is going to get the highest mark on a test while the test is going on :)

In regards to immunity we know to go to this site http://lottery.merseyworld.com/ to find our immunity and as long as we post in the February thread it will count.

My last point is that she is a volunteer and should be treated with a little more respect then certain people are treating her. She has not been online since February 17th and it's possible something tragic has occurred. We should spend more time writing stories and giving support to each other then whining about things we CAN NOT CHANGE.

She is right, you know. I might joke about it, because that is my nature, but I'm actually more concerned with Crim personally than I am with her updating scoreboards, etc. I also hope nothing has happened to her because she has not been here for over a month, and this is contrary to her usual behavior.

You don't need anybody to tell you which immunity numbers have been chosen in a given week, because you can look it up yourselves. If you want to know how your score compares to those of others, you can go to the Suvivors thread and look up the scorecards that concern you. They might or might not be up to date, but that would be so even if somebody were updating the scoreboard daily.

As for new contestants, as long as you have announced your intentions to enter, and HAVE PERSONAL MESSAGING ENABLED you can consider yourselves entered, even if you have to keep your own scorecards.
 
Ah, you must have me confused with someone who gives a shit about Crimson Maiden. I don't. The woman never liked me.

I'm here to write, not to make friends. If I want to make friends, I'll join a club with real people and not cyber personalities. Besides, I have enough friends. I don't need anymore friends.

Now, if Literotica wants to hold a contest, then they should have a moderator moderating the contest. Last year was the same thing, with Crimson infrequently updating scorecards and the immunity thread.

Where's the love? Where's the respect. As it is we all write for free. For free we sit and write our stories. For free we post them here. For free we do that because we are all writers and that is what we do.

What do we get for it? We get a moderator who has an attitude and no patience and respect for the writers. We get nothing, unless we win a contest. Yet, let's extrapolate. Even if win this contest, we earn pennies for every story we write. Wow!

Instead of praise, we get bashers. We get other writers who are jealous of one another because this one is a better writer than that one. We get writers who cheat. We get writers with deep personality disorders. We get PrincessAirHead.



 
Picking on you?

When you bashed 20 of my 30 Valentine stories, how was I picking on you?

Answer me that question?

When you end your posts with a bash against me, how is that picking you?

You push me and I'll push back harder.

Fucking dope.
 
I will be stepping in and filling in for Crimson until we hear back from here. Later today I'll see what needs to be done, create the scorecards that need creating, etc. Don't fret.
 
Everything is under control

Thank you Lauren for your reassurance.

I wasn't worried in the least. Matter of fact, I was trying to calm everyone with a bit of humor. It was the others who got themselves in a frezy.

I knew everything would be okay.

"Okay, everyone, go home. There's nothing to see here. Everything is under control. Lauren is back."

 
Thank you Lauren for your reassurance.

I wasn't worried in the least. Matter of fact, I was trying to calm everyone with a bit of humor. It was the others who got themselves in a frezy.

I knew everything would be okay.

"Okay, everyone, go home. There's nothing to see here. Everything is under control. Lauren is back."


Goofball! You were like on a feeding frenzy, ala, JAWS!:D
 
I've had a couple of personal issues to deal with that kept me from creating those scorecards and updating the various threads, but it will get done.
 
I apologize, but I'm from Boston and it's difficult to remain quiet.

It's already April, more than a quarter of the year has gone by since the Survivor Contest started.

Just as it would have been nice to have an immunity thread for March, it would be ideal to have an immunity thread for April. I'm not complaining, kind of, not really, not at all, but I'm just wondering if we're ever going to have an updated immunity thread.

Oh, yeah, sure, I can root around and go find the number and post it on the February immuntiy thread, but why should I?

Just as it would have been nice to have an updated scoreboard each month, it would be ideal to have an updated scoreboard, gees, I dunno, after each quarter. I'm not complaining, kind of, not really, not at all, but I'm just wondering if we're ever going to have an updated scoreboard or is it going to be like last year, where we won't know one another scores until year end.

"What's the score of the game?"

"Dunno."

"Dunno?"

"Yeah, the game's not over."

"Not over? You mean, we have to wait until the 9th inning to know the score? That doesn't seem fair, does it?"

"That's how it is around here."

Of course, I could take the time and open up everyone's score card and then go through everyone's page, but I don't want to do that. Why should I do that?

Isn't it the moderator's job, albeit a volunteer moderator's job to do that?

Now, I've offered my help and my support to update the immunity thread and the scoreboard, but I've been rudely ignored.

"Gees, when I allowed SuperHeroRalph to update the scoreboard, I had no idea, he'd give everyone zeroes and himself 1,000 points."

To be honest, as do all the writers who joined this contest, I viewed it as a fun activity. Yet, in the way that it is now and in the way that it was last year, the fun as been removed and replaced by a lack of concern for the contest and for the writers who write her for free.

Just as the moderators volunteer their time here, I dare say that we writers volunteer more than our time. We volunteer long hours of our effort and talent to create the stories for free for Literotica's use. Without writers like me and everyone else, guess what? Yep, you guessed it. They'd be no Literotica.

They'd just be a thread of forum boards. With no more stories, they'd be no reason for anyone to return here, that is, unless they wanted to reread the old stories.

Now, how about showing just a little respect for the people who write stories here and for those who wanted to participate in this Survivor contest by updating the immunity thread and the scoreboard.

Please?

Thank you in advance.
 
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I've had a couple of personal issues to deal with that kept me from creating those scorecards and updating the various threads, but it will get done. It's April.
 
I have updated the unofficial score chart for April. If you have posted your chart, you are included on this list. Anyone who has not taken the time to add a scoreboard is not on the list though they may or may not be participating and simply haven't posted a score.

Since my last post of scores, five people have updated their score. Only one person has moved in the ranking.

afternoondelight2 - 0 points
veronica_james - 0 points
DecadentAngel - 0 points
al_Ussa - five points
theravenfox - 8 points
oOScarletWingsOo - 8 points
lostchicken - 9 points
Lady_Eryka - 10 points
Kaishaku - 30 points
Noira - 31 points
Boxlicker101 - 59 points
SuperHeroRalph - 150 points
 
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