UnderYourSpell
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Thank you both. I've often wondered if one could reach a mental state and leave all the hurts of life behind.
a companion to 30 in 30
- Thread starter Senna Jawa
- Start date
Thank you both. I've often wondered if one could reach a mental state and leave all the hurts of life behind.
Neonurotic
Share some skin
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Originally, on a different poetry board, the challenge was 100 poems in 100 days! Can you all imagine that?
30 poems in 30 days is hard enough. I always feel wiped out afterward.
30 poems in 30 days is hard enough. I always feel wiped out afterward.
butters
High on a Hill
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everything about me chafes as 'having' to do something i'd happily do without being told in most cases. i like to keep my options open
anyway, imma done. out with a whimper rather than a bang. but it's done and i'm feelin' gooooddddddd... birds flyin' high, you know how i feel
everything about me chafes as 'having' to do something i'd happily do without being told in most cases. i like to keep my options open
anyway, imma done. out with a whimper rather than a bang. but it's done and i'm feelin' gooooddddddd... birds flyin' high, you know how i feel
congrats butters and Tzara,
still can't believe that they did this as hundred in a hundred, that is just plain masochistic
Desejo
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I don't know if I made it or not! Just arrived to my destination after 17 hours of travel - so excuse my last and y'all can decide whether timezone is a valid delay excuse or not.
Astonishingly, it seems I can access lit here. If I continue to be able to do so, and once I get some sleep, I still intend to comment on everyone's best (or rather, my opinion of their best in 30/30).
Astonishingly, it seems I can access lit here. If I continue to be able to do so, and once I get some sleep, I still intend to comment on everyone's best (or rather, my opinion of their best in 30/30).
butters
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how cool about the access, desi! enjoy your sleep!
less than 24 hours since your 29, so i'd say you're done! grats
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Tsotha
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how cool about the access, desi! enjoy your sleep!
less than 24 hours since your 29, so i'd say you're done! grats
I agree. Congratulations.
Ah, and to you too, butters!
Now... anyone going for the 100 in 100?
UnderYourSpell
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I did double that in Survivor and I've done a 30 in 30 on Facebook, but I know what you mean about feeling washed out
champagne1982
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Congrats!
I don't know about the "well done!" bit here poet-tess. Done first on a porn site - many thoughts come *pardon me* to mind
strong strong finish, todski
yes it was
hahahathanks by the way, the poetry treadmill is turned off, till I stupidly try again'
Desejo
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30/30 - Neo's best, in the opinion of Moi
Neo: I wish I were better at linking poems here but the curious will just have to find them until I figure it out. And yes, I know people have explained this before.
My favorites of yours in 30/30 are:
1-13 Snowalt: because it captures a moment perfectly – not only of learning but of complexity. The snow, salt and cold and the growing up process.
1-17: On New Cat Eve. Because no, you cannot replace them but yes, you must try for the sake of the small ones and because this is probably the one poem I have read where I like the use of the non capitalized i.
1-19 We hold onto Christmas: Others commented on this one. Such a wonderful image of a father and his daughter, against the world.
1-25 untitled. Is maybe my favorite. It is intensely personal and yet open to interpretation and devastatingly honest.
The 30/30 is really interesting in what it shows about each poet. Neo, your poems about your daughter are almost without exception very strong. Your love for her shines through and I think they are all the more touching because it is often not easy for fathers to express. Three of my favorites fall into that category, and trust me, I am not a sentimental type.
1-25 also comes from the heart. In some of your other poems in this run (like those on current events) you tell it like it is - but, for me at least, your current events poems are less powerful than those relating to you personally. This feels more real, less reactive. If that makes any sense.
Anyway - well done. And thank you for the challenge!
Neo: I wish I were better at linking poems here but the curious will just have to find them until I figure it out. And yes, I know people have explained this before.
My favorites of yours in 30/30 are:
1-13 Snowalt: because it captures a moment perfectly – not only of learning but of complexity. The snow, salt and cold and the growing up process.
1-17: On New Cat Eve. Because no, you cannot replace them but yes, you must try for the sake of the small ones and because this is probably the one poem I have read where I like the use of the non capitalized i.
1-19 We hold onto Christmas: Others commented on this one. Such a wonderful image of a father and his daughter, against the world.
1-25 untitled. Is maybe my favorite. It is intensely personal and yet open to interpretation and devastatingly honest.
The 30/30 is really interesting in what it shows about each poet. Neo, your poems about your daughter are almost without exception very strong. Your love for her shines through and I think they are all the more touching because it is often not easy for fathers to express. Three of my favorites fall into that category, and trust me, I am not a sentimental type.
1-25 also comes from the heart. In some of your other poems in this run (like those on current events) you tell it like it is - but, for me at least, your current events poems are less powerful than those relating to you personally. This feels more real, less reactive. If that makes any sense.
Anyway - well done. And thank you for the challenge!
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Desejo
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Tzara - 30/30..desejo's completely unsolicited comments.
Otherwise known as a long journey into Tzara's liquor cabinet. There were several that stood out for me in this series:
1-7: Galliano Cocktails Lead to Failed Relationships. How can you not love this?
1-12 Midori, but I could have done without the Kim Kardashian reference
1-22 Umeshu Rokku - especially the final line
1-26 Yukon Jack
The last two were my favorites, because they stand alone -without the attached images.
I think Buttters commented that she did not really connect with the series (I am paraphrasing). I am an unreserved Tzara fan,but I agree. It's not that the poems are lacking in anyway, and I think the concept is good enough that you could probably market Tzara's little book of liqueurs and poems. Having tagged along for the first few drinking letters of the alphabet, I got frustrated with trying to find inspiration in a glass. It's a testament to Tzara's skill (and obstinance) that he finished it. The poems I liked best addressed the theme either in a unique way (the humor of 1-7, the story poem of 1-12) or in manner so oblique as to stand without the images.
Otherwise known as a long journey into Tzara's liquor cabinet. There were several that stood out for me in this series:
1-7: Galliano Cocktails Lead to Failed Relationships. How can you not love this?
1-12 Midori, but I could have done without the Kim Kardashian reference
1-22 Umeshu Rokku - especially the final line
1-26 Yukon Jack
The last two were my favorites, because they stand alone -without the attached images.
I think Buttters commented that she did not really connect with the series (I am paraphrasing). I am an unreserved Tzara fan,but I agree. It's not that the poems are lacking in anyway, and I think the concept is good enough that you could probably market Tzara's little book of liqueurs and poems. Having tagged along for the first few drinking letters of the alphabet, I got frustrated with trying to find inspiration in a glass. It's a testament to Tzara's skill (and obstinance) that he finished it. The poems I liked best addressed the theme either in a unique way (the humor of 1-7, the story poem of 1-12) or in manner so oblique as to stand without the images.
UnderYourSpell
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Congratulations Tsotha on reaching the finishing line, you may wear your medal with pride!
Tsotha
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Thank you, UnderYourSpell.
I've just re-read every poem in the challenge and selected those I liked the most. I ended with a very large list ("this is good... this too... oh, and this too..."), and had to trim it down to keep this at least a bit relevant to the respective writers. Ok, here is my selection:
Neonurotic
1-2: "Too close"
This is a familiar feeling; really liked this line: "I don't belong; an air sign needs air."
1-11:
It was the first time I saw an illustrated poem, so this was particularly interesting. However, every time I look at the image, I think the broken heart should be inside the bird on the left side.
1-16: "Revelation"
I don't know if your meaning for this is the same as the one I take from it, but "fear the unveiling of ugly / finding beauty / pulling back / wanting more" is a strong image.
1-17: "on new cat eve"
"i had held him as his fur / cooled and the rumble of his / purr against my chest went silent". *Sigh*. I held my cat for a needle once, when I was young. I was so angry when my mother brought a dog home only a couple days later.
1-19: "We hold onto Christmas"
A beautiful scene. Thank you for sharing it.
Tzara
1-2: "Blue Curaçao"
The second half is fantastic! "I see my fingers / trailing across her unclothed skin / like a wave smoothing sand / again and again / as if water is hypnotized / by the concept of land."
1-6: "Fior d'Alpe"
Liked this part: "choice parts of her anatomy / white peaks to climb."
1-12: "Midori"
Left me with a smile on my face and a feeling of 'what the hell did I just read?'
1-21: "Tuaca"
These alcohol-inspired stories are funny. This is a strong one because it works well without the image or knowledge of the drink.
1-26: "Yukon Jack"
I liked your approach to venom better than mine.
champagne1982
1-1: "Genesis of Breath"
It made me breath heavy midway through, as I looked through the window of words. I was glad for the release at the last line. Such a powerful poem.
2-3: "It's Difficult"
Similar to 1-1, but perhaps written in a way so that others may find their own meaning, and make this collapse their own.
2-9: "Elemental"
Indeed, life is grand.
2-10: "On Alone"
All one, yes; the selfish need, but created from yearning for not being one. Beautiful play on the word.
2-12: "A Week Of Daze"
The things you're saying, and the way you're saying it... This truly is a window to another reality, for me.
Tristesse2
1-2: "Mirror Image"
I liked the thought at the end, "I comfort myself knowing / she is still in there, / somewhere."
1-4: "Nothing But Nonsense"
I really liked this. It's a storm of images and ideas, my mind was jumping everywhere, and English not being my first language... Perhaps increases the effect? I don't know.
3-6: "The Romance of the Steam Train"
Never traveled by train, myself. Either steam or electric. This poem, then, is an interesting window for me.
3-19: "Poem about pain"
I like how you note that time can kill slowly. Everyone says "time heals all wounds!", but sometimes pain tells us that something is really wrong, that something must be done. If the wound is too deep, waiting will only make one bleed out.
3-21: "Advice for the broken hearted"
And then you say the opposite, that time will bring comfort. Still, this is a beautifully written poem about healing. Really liked it.
Desejo
1-9: "Wishing Well"
Poems such as this make me wonder if the thing I'm reading is the same thing you were writing (unlikely, but still). I really like how it sounds when I read it in my mind, and it had a meaning (for me) — a feeling I recognized.
1-10: "Don't Ask"
I really like this one. The "Divine misery of hyperawareness" and "the one satisfaction remaining: / unveiling those Benedict Arnolds". Excellent.
1-12: "I hope you get some"
Because
1-22: "You make me want things"
Wanting things one cannot have creates powerful (and sometimes destructive) feelings. I like how your poem manages to be both wishful of what cannot be, but at the same time recognizes that things as they are can still be fine, that "these options, yours and mine, are also fine".
1-23: "Crosses"
Beautifully written, with passages such as this: "The thought crosses my mind that / our lines have been crossed / countless times and / as for putting a cross on it, I think we / agree / we will cross that bridge / when we come to it.", from which I took some meaning to make it my own.
Hm. I had planned to make a small comment on everyone's poems today, but it seems I must cut this short. Sorry if I've left you out; I'm doing this in no particular order. I'll be back at the first opportunity.
I've just re-read every poem in the challenge and selected those I liked the most. I ended with a very large list ("this is good... this too... oh, and this too..."), and had to trim it down to keep this at least a bit relevant to the respective writers. Ok, here is my selection:
Neonurotic
1-2: "Too close"
This is a familiar feeling; really liked this line: "I don't belong; an air sign needs air."
1-11:
It was the first time I saw an illustrated poem, so this was particularly interesting. However, every time I look at the image, I think the broken heart should be inside the bird on the left side.
1-16: "Revelation"
I don't know if your meaning for this is the same as the one I take from it, but "fear the unveiling of ugly / finding beauty / pulling back / wanting more" is a strong image.
1-17: "on new cat eve"
"i had held him as his fur / cooled and the rumble of his / purr against my chest went silent". *Sigh*. I held my cat for a needle once, when I was young. I was so angry when my mother brought a dog home only a couple days later.
1-19: "We hold onto Christmas"
A beautiful scene. Thank you for sharing it.
Tzara
1-2: "Blue Curaçao"
The second half is fantastic! "I see my fingers / trailing across her unclothed skin / like a wave smoothing sand / again and again / as if water is hypnotized / by the concept of land."
1-6: "Fior d'Alpe"
Liked this part: "choice parts of her anatomy / white peaks to climb."
1-12: "Midori"
Left me with a smile on my face and a feeling of 'what the hell did I just read?'
1-21: "Tuaca"
These alcohol-inspired stories are funny. This is a strong one because it works well without the image or knowledge of the drink.
1-26: "Yukon Jack"
I liked your approach to venom better than mine.
champagne1982
1-1: "Genesis of Breath"
It made me breath heavy midway through, as I looked through the window of words. I was glad for the release at the last line. Such a powerful poem.
2-3: "It's Difficult"
Similar to 1-1, but perhaps written in a way so that others may find their own meaning, and make this collapse their own.
2-9: "Elemental"
Indeed, life is grand.
2-10: "On Alone"
All one, yes; the selfish need, but created from yearning for not being one. Beautiful play on the word.
2-12: "A Week Of Daze"
The things you're saying, and the way you're saying it... This truly is a window to another reality, for me.
Tristesse2
1-2: "Mirror Image"
I liked the thought at the end, "I comfort myself knowing / she is still in there, / somewhere."
1-4: "Nothing But Nonsense"
I really liked this.
It's a storm of images and ideas, my mind was jumping everywhere, and English not being my first language... Perhaps increases the effect? I don't know.3-6: "The Romance of the Steam Train"
Never traveled by train, myself. Either steam or electric. This poem, then, is an interesting window for me.
3-19: "Poem about pain"
I like how you note that time can kill slowly. Everyone says "time heals all wounds!", but sometimes pain tells us that something is really wrong, that something must be done. If the wound is too deep, waiting will only make one bleed out.
3-21: "Advice for the broken hearted"
And then you say the opposite, that time will bring comfort.
Still, this is a beautifully written poem about healing. Really liked it.Desejo
1-9: "Wishing Well"
Poems such as this make me wonder if the thing I'm reading is the same thing you were writing (unlikely, but still). I really like how it sounds when I read it in my mind, and it had a meaning (for me) — a feeling I recognized.
1-10: "Don't Ask"
I really like this one. The "Divine misery of hyperawareness" and "the one satisfaction remaining: / unveiling those Benedict Arnolds". Excellent.
1-12: "I hope you get some"
Because
1-22: "You make me want things"
Wanting things one cannot have creates powerful (and sometimes destructive) feelings. I like how your poem manages to be both wishful of what cannot be, but at the same time recognizes that things as they are can still be fine, that "these options, yours and mine, are also fine".
1-23: "Crosses"
Beautifully written, with passages such as this: "The thought crosses my mind that / our lines have been crossed / countless times and / as for putting a cross on it, I think we / agree / we will cross that bridge / when we come to it.", from which I took some meaning to make it my own.
Hm. I had planned to make a small comment on everyone's poems today, but it seems I must cut this short. Sorry if I've left you out; I'm doing this in no particular order. I'll be back at the first opportunity.
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UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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I see your Tritina Remec
Remec
Master Glomper
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I see your Tritina Remec
Yep...but, I swear, I started out to write something else but the repetition of phrases shifted itself into just one of end words...funny how poems do that sometimes.
Desejo
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Angeline - 30/30 (since you are a mod you can put in the links!)
1-2: I must have read this one 5 times. There is something almost primordial in the wording that struck deep with me, without being linked to specific memories. I would love to see this with a title and posted.
1-9: Intriguing first line (who is our man in Paris?) and I loved the line breaks. I am not a "musical" poet, but this really conveyed music and a beat to even me.
1-13: Personal, loving sweetness.
1-14: this one intrigues me more than anything else. Wabi-sabi, kemosabe? 'splain?
1-18:My favorite. Just love it.
1-2: I must have read this one 5 times. There is something almost primordial in the wording that struck deep with me, without being linked to specific memories. I would love to see this with a title and posted.
1-9: Intriguing first line (who is our man in Paris?) and I loved the line breaks. I am not a "musical" poet, but this really conveyed music and a beat to even me.
1-13: Personal, loving sweetness.
1-14: this one intrigues me more than anything else. Wabi-sabi, kemosabe? 'splain?
1-18:My favorite. Just love it.
butters
High on a Hill
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so far (i'm working my way through, picking those that stand out most for me):
tzara's Blue Curaçao
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51832635&postcount=8
mesmerising, where the use of the drink is merely a gateway to a poem
desejo's Arak
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51866383&postcount=20
because it takes my thoughts and gives them new perspective
angeline's 1-5
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51950415&postcount=42
picks me up and drops me right into the middle of this happenin' piece of history
desejo's Earl Grey Redux
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51986703&postcount=53
so different! adding depth to a 'character', making him more human, more 3-D
remec's 1-7 cleaning day
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52012139&postcount=59
for including the best description of bored, listless youth i may have ever read.
tzara's Blue Curaçao
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51832635&postcount=8
mesmerising, where the use of the drink is merely a gateway to a poem
desejo's Arak
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51866383&postcount=20
because it takes my thoughts and gives them new perspective
angeline's 1-5
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51950415&postcount=42
picks me up and drops me right into the middle of this happenin' piece of history
desejo's Earl Grey Redux
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=51986703&postcount=53
so different! adding depth to a 'character', making him more human, more 3-D
remec's 1-7 cleaning day
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52012139&postcount=59
for including the best description of bored, listless youth i may have ever read.
butters
High on a Hill
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todski's 1-7
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52031183&postcount=65
quite different, gentler than his usual work. makes for good contrast and shows there's far more to him and to his writing.
neo's Moab self portrai
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52049727&postcount=70
i like the control used and visuals gifted here
tzara's Jägermeister
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52076627&postcount=79
despite his own putdown of this, i found it to be a pithy little wittily worded write.
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52031183&postcount=65
quite different, gentler than his usual work. makes for good contrast and shows there's far more to him and to his writing.
neo's Moab self portrai
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52049727&postcount=70
i like the control used and visuals gifted here
tzara's Jägermeister
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52076627&postcount=79
despite his own putdown of this, i found it to be a pithy little wittily worded write.
butters
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champers' home for christmas
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52130083&postcount=92
just lovely. an easing of tension, even if only momentarily. it embodies that relaxing, the letting go of breath held way too long
neo's illustrated Shiver
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52132915&postcount=95
what's not to love?
desejo's road to damascus
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52141403&postcount=99
does, again, what this lady's so good at doing: feeds your brain what she wants you to see/feel and then shakes you up by pulling the mat from under you right at the end.
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52130083&postcount=92
just lovely. an easing of tension, even if only momentarily. it embodies that relaxing, the letting go of breath held way too long
neo's illustrated Shiver
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52132915&postcount=95
what's not to love?
desejo's road to damascus
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52141403&postcount=99
does, again, what this lady's so good at doing: feeds your brain what she wants you to see/feel and then shakes you up by pulling the mat from under you right at the end.
butters
High on a Hill
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tsotha's 1-10
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=969155&page=6
love the duality of this. refreshing, tumbling, wet worlds
todski's 1-11
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52154611&postcount=103
sings out pain, pressure, internal struggle. this is one i think, in time, he could take and whittle down in order to make it deliver in an even more targeted manner. it would make it more about the common man, the 'every man' and his struggle to be all he expects of himself, thinking others all expect the same of him and - possibly - that they should. the final lines howl in anguish as his burdens are too much to bear yet never denied.
desi's delectable 1-12 I hope you get some
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52167091&postcount=110
happy christmas!
desi's Shattered
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52192415&postcount=121
this struck me for the strong linking of the sound/visuals of the stamped on ice and the lens. having stamped on plenty of frozen puddles as a kid, this instantly brings to mind that glassy look and feel of the ice and the results of my stamping.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=969155&page=6
love the duality of this. refreshing, tumbling, wet worlds
todski's 1-11
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52154611&postcount=103
sings out pain, pressure, internal struggle. this is one i think, in time, he could take and whittle down in order to make it deliver in an even more targeted manner. it would make it more about the common man, the 'every man' and his struggle to be all he expects of himself, thinking others all expect the same of him and - possibly - that they should. the final lines howl in anguish as his burdens are too much to bear yet never denied.
desi's delectable 1-12 I hope you get some
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52167091&postcount=110
happy christmas!
desi's Shattered
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=52192415&postcount=121
this struck me for the strong linking of the sound/visuals of the stamped on ice and the lens. having stamped on plenty of frozen puddles as a kid, this instantly brings to mind that glassy look and feel of the ice and the results of my stamping.
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