a companion to 30 in 30

[Angeline]

2-23, Neo, Wow. I read it over and over. Powerful.

I concur. The poem actually splits the narrator in half and really conveys the exhaustion and dread of the inner battle. And I love that it ends on a hopeful note. Really strong writing.

And your Vivaldi on the Decameron is also excellent writing. I think it's my favorite of yours thus far in the thread. It flows seamlessly.

 

[Angeline]

Nice Fib, Champ.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Nice Fib, Champ.

Seconded!

 

[Senna Jawa]

Quick poets should still respect their muse

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot becomes
A game of seduction
​

The two and a half verses of an introduction are fine:

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot [...]
​

Then you kill it, there is no excuse, just shame:

[...] becomes
A game of seduction
​

One can quickly put on their clothes but not dirty laundry.

 

[todski28]

The two and a half verses of an introduction are fine:

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot [...]
​

Then you kill it, there is no excuse, just shame:

[...] becomes
A game of seduction
​

One can quickly put on their clothes but not dirty laundry.

How does a game of seduction become dirty laundry? Seduction in and of itself is not dirty mayhap a difference in interpretation?

 

[Senna Jawa]

Bennie prescription

2-23, Neo, Wow. I read it over and over. Powerful.

Neo, GM and Angeline, I see from the context what Bennie prescriptions are but still--what are they? I googled with no satisfactory answer (I ran into a bunch of Dr. Bennie, where Bennie was the first or last name).

 

[Remec]

Neo, GM and Angeline, I see from the context what Bennie prescriptions are but still--what are they? I googled with no satisfactory answer (I ran into a bunch of Dr. Bennie, where Bennie was the first or last name).

Bennies are a type of barbiturate, if I remember correctly. I forget why they have that street nickname. Prolly have 'ben' as the first part of whatever chemical they're made up of.

I checked Wiki...benzedrine...a form of amphetamine. Bennie was actually how they were originally marketed in the US, apparently.

 

[Senna Jawa]

I checked Wiki...benzedrine...a form of amphetamine. Bennie was actually how they were originally marketed in the US, apparently.

Remec, thank you!

 

[Angeline]

I think in the context of the poem, Senna, "bennies" refers to anti-anxiety pills like Xanax. Neo can confirm, but I think that's it.

 

[Senna Jawa]

How does a game of seduction become dirty laundry? Seduction in and of itself is not dirty mayhap a difference in interpretation?

Nobody is talking about seduction being... whatever. No, there are no differences about interpretation (there is hardly anything to interpret ).

 

[Trixareforkids]

The two and a half verses of an introduction are fine:

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot [...]
​

Then you kill it, there is no excuse, just shame:

[...] becomes
A game of seduction
​

One can quickly put on their clothes but not dirty laundry.

Senna, the piece was done as part of the Chain of Phools thread
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=40914152&postcount=1
which requires a 4 line piece. I'm curious as to how you would have ended it.

I like it as the start of a larger piece, which I am planning on playing with when I do the 30 Edits later. We'll see where it goes then.

I'm not sure exactly what your last line is trying to convey, your metaphor escapes me.

 

[Senna Jawa]

I think in the context of the poem, Senna, "bennies" refers to anti-anxiety pills like Xanax. Neo can confirm, but I think that's it.

Thank you, Angeline. Now I have checked Xanax:

Xanax (alprazolam) belongs to a group of drugs called benzodiazepines.​

This and Remec's info are convergent enough. The essential meaning was clear from the poem's context.

Best,

 

[Neonurotic]

Bennies in my poem's context is Xanax. I have a mood disorder and episodes of anxiety for which I was prescribed Xanax for a number of years. I had to detox to get them out of my system, which I found later that some withdrawal symptoms last on and off for several years after quitting the medication.

Thank you all who commented on my poem. Even though I do take anti-depressants, my daughter is the best medicine to pull me out of my funky shit.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot becomes
A game of seduction

Trixareforkids
​

Senna, the piece was done as part of the Chain of Phools thread
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=40914152&postcount=1
which requires a 4 line piece. I'm curious as to how you would have ended it.

I like it as the start of a larger piece, which I am planning on playing with when I do the 30 Edits later. We'll see where it goes then.

I'm not sure exactly what your last line is trying to convey, your metaphor escapes me.

Whatever the considerations, just avoid talk and the puffed-up words. I am sleepy right now but I'll still respond with a variation:

Fingertips trace constellations
Up freckled arms
Dot to dot light streams
follow underneath

Trixareforkids​

I am all for quick writing of poems (if one has this ability). However it must be poetry or else what?--junk!

It's stupid to show off your intelligence in a poem
​

One should avoid all these GENERAL clever statements, proclamations, big words, etc. It's all banal, trivial, and in BAD TASTE.

My metaphor? Writing poems is like going out. It's ok to put clothes on you fast--as long as these clothes are clean and elegant, and not dirty laundry. All these cliches etc are like dirty laundry, they smell bad.

Best regards, have fun,

 

[Neonurotic]

And long stretch, American sentences all the way!

 

[Senna Jawa]

And long stretch, American sentences all the way!

???​

Regards,

 

[Senna Jawa]

Gm 1-11

GM, Reclining Nude (1-11) -- very nice! Lovely!

 

[greenmountaineer]

GM, Reclining Nude (1-11) -- very nice! Lovely!

Thanks.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I like word play in a poem (perhaps to a fault sometimes in my own). I also like smart use of repetition as opposed to mindless. That's why I enjoyed Champ's "Abridged Ode To Naught," very smart.

 

[Neonurotic]

???​

Regards,

Allen Ginsberg's American sentences are condensed poetry, a form somewhat similar to haiku. I think last year about this time, Tzara had an exercise thread about them, but you can read here as well more about American sentences.

 

[Angeline]

And long stretch, American sentences all the way!

Yes, I think that will be my strategy as well.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Allen Ginsberg's American sentences are condensed poetry, a form somewhat similar to haiku. I think last year about this time, Tzara had an exercise thread about them, but you can read here as well more about American sentences.

Neo, thank you (for a half of the puzzle (Ginsberg)--I still don't know what you were referring to; it's ok).

Best,

 

[Senna Jawa]

Yes, I think that will be my strategy as well.

Wow! A new Angeline in making.

Best,

 

[Angeline]

Wow! A new Angeline in making.

Best,

Senna I have been writing tons of them for about six months now. So sorry to say, not quite so new!

You should try the form. It can produce short poems that sound uniquely American (at least to me).

 

[Senna Jawa]

[...] not quite so new!

Angeline, sorry, I stand corrected. Thus it is:

Angeline in old making.​

You should try the form. It can produce short poems that sound uniquely American (at least to me).

When people talk about poetry (and most of the time they don't even care, they repeat some oh-so famous saying by other oh-so famous so-great people) then it's like they are banging their heads against walls of a dark labyrinth. They bang their head agains the left wall, so they turn and then they bang against the right wall, etc. It's truly a random walk.

It's ironic to mention haiku in the given context. They talk about the 5-7-5 stupidity, completely missing poetry.

Condensation is not about poetry as a whole, it is only introducing a specific style--not better and not worse than other styles. When you avoid singular (to avoid "a"), and similar, then you give up on a big chunk of poetry, and you promote just a narrow style.

The basic principle is not condensation but

every element of a poem has to contribute to poetry
​

Warm regards,