A surprisingly, um, sensitive bunch.

[morninggirl5]

I respect your opinion, Cellis, as always. But my experience is that anonymous trolls came to this baord with the intention of being hurtful and disruptive. Some of us expressed our feelings of misgiving and disappointment that this happened, and were upbraided by Lance for "whining" and "snivelling". When people objected to his insulting characterization, we were told , in essence, that we were not being submissive enough, as if we somehow owe deference to anyone who shows up here and announces themselves dominant. He has repeated that ridiculous canard in this thread. I have tried on several occasions to address this issue with him, and each time I have been patronized and seen my words twisted in misrepresentation.
So I hope you will understand that we do not all see the situation in the same light.

I have had similar experiences. As is my usual preference, i tried to handle them privately, only to see new threads with the same themes and one post in particular that i felt was aimed directly at me. That post involved a scenario that anyone who has posted with me for any period of time would recognize as involving one of my interests.

So, my way of dealing with it has been to overlook as much as possible and restate my position politely when i see it being questioned once again. That is how i will continue to handle it.

 

[artful]

Eye of the Beholder

I cannot choose a SIDE here,...and there DOES seem to be a two-sided view of Lance's projected image.
Myself, I have enjoyed his posts. Maybe that's because I am a ~!@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!~, but in my opinion,...I am not, and I don't see him that way either.

His topics are thought provoking, and can easily be taken out of context. They are issues which may or may not expose some peoples nerve endings to being touched and as a result,...they just GOTTA respond,...no choice, a raw nerve end was touched, and a knee jerk is gonna come. May be unseen by the public,...but hell,...it's still there whether we see it or not.

It is sensitivity,...right or wrong. Because of PRIOR posts, and prior statements, it would be difficult for some people to not have that knee jerk response. Having had my character and intent
questioned in the past, I can tell you,...no matter how strong you are, it hurts when you are singled out for persecution.

Where "FLAMES" break out, is when *sides* are formed, and wordings get taken out of context and/or, misinterpreted. Then emotions are stirred, friends to one side or the other, jump in with their support, and now we have a REAL bonfire on our hands.

Why do I choose to not take sides against or for Lance ? It's the same reason I choose to not take sides with ANY issue. It's his opinion and he is entitled to it. I respect that,...and I am not gonna argue the point. Hell I can't get in his mind,...I don't KNOW what his intentions were, or are now.

I am gonna repeat, I am not attacking or defending anyone. I choose to express my opinion on the situation, it's mine, and I own it.

 

[Lancecastor]

The Matrimonial Spanking

Good Morning;

I've just skimmed thru last nite's posts...

Let me first say that I dont expect anyone to defer to me online, nor me to they. I find online d/s roleplay kinda cheesy and funny, but if it works for others, cool.

Second, if I find the concept of vocal, snarky women who are only sub to their master behind closed doors "ironic", "dichotymous" or just plain "amusing"...because to me they "sound" like Dommes in subs clothing....well, okay, so what? Why should that be such a big friggin deal?

I suggest that that sort of reaction merely reinforces the need to discuss the question of sensitively in more depth....because it's been that way here a lonnng time....and it's not all about Me. ..though I'm happy to be fodder for some if it helps advance the discussion.

~~~~~~~

On another note: I was at the home of newly weds last nite for a soiree and a rather charming woman asked the happy couple if the "Matrimonial Spanking" had taken place yet....which of course caught my ear, and significantly intensified my curiosity in getting to know the femme who had asked the question .

Has anyone heard that phrase before?



Lance

 

[Lancecastor]

Another view?

I respect your opinion, Cellis, as always. But my experience is that anonymous trolls came to this baord with the intention of being hurtful and disruptive. Some of us expressed our feelings of misgiving and disappointment that this happened, and were upbraided by Lance for "whining" and "snivelling".

LANCE: I've seen regulars make pre-emptive first strikes on trolls without good cause, then defend their rude actions because the trolls were trolls. I happen to find that sort of rationale undefensible and self-centered and rude and yes, snivelling. Who gives anyone the right to tell people not to post here? Not the other posters, that's fer darned sure.

~~~~~~~~~

When people objected to his insulting characterization, we were told , in essence, that we were not being submissive enough, as if we somehow owe deference to anyone who shows up here and announces themselves dominant. He has repeated that ridiculous canard in this thread.

LANCE: Quack! I'm not sure who or what you've been reading, but I have never said any such thing nor would ever espouse it. Step away from the crack pipe....It wasn't me.

~~~~~~~~

I have tried on several occasions to address this issue with him, and each time I have been patronized and seen my words twisted in misrepresentation.

LANCE: I think you've tried to tell me I'm wrong a few times...

So I hope you will understand that we do not all see the situation in the same light.

 

[WriterDom]

Re: The Matrimonial Spanking

Good Morning;



Second, if I find the concept of vocal, snarky women who are only sub to their master behind closed doors "ironic", "dichotymous" or just plain "amusing"...because to me they "sound" like Dommes in subs clothing....well, okay, so what? Why should that be such a big friggin deal?



Has anyone heard that phrase before?



Lance

I've always found a lot of subs to be very opinionated and vocal. Many are women in positions of power in the real world. Perhaps their gift of submission is offered to only one person behind closed doors. What value would it be if it was offered up to anyone? If this were a role-playing board, then yeah, there would be a lot more curtseying and a lot less real discussion.

I've never heard that term, but I have heard of collaring ceremonies that ended with "You may now spank the bride/sub/slave.

 

[petrel]

Re: The Matrimonial Spanking

Good Morning;

Second, if I find the concept of vocal, snarky women who are only sub to their master behind closed doors "ironic", "dichotymous" or just plain "amusing"...because to me they "sound" like Dommes in subs clothing....well, okay, so what? Why should that be such a big friggin deal?

Lance

okay I'll deal with this one first - Lance I think I like you but this is the area where you are pissing some people off. I think this is because your opinion as stated above is very typical of the uncomprehending and sometimes patronising comments we get from the 'straight/nilla' world. I personally felt when I first read this section of your post that despite your time here you had not taken the time to get to know why people engage in BDSM and you had not troubled to see us as individuals who are people separate to their sexual preferences but merely lumped us into boxes dependant on our expressed sub/Domme traits. Its lazy thinking darlin - I'm sorry to level that accusation at you and you know I mean it with a smile. The reality of BDSM is that most of us are 'real people' we have lives, important jobs kids, grocery shopping to do regardless of our sexual nature. On this board we come as real people to discuss our lifestyle (health safety, tips etc etc) we are not engaged in sub/dom or BDSM behaviour or scenarios so therefore I would find it more ironic if people felt that they needed to 'play' the sub role or dom role whilst talking about the best way to get KY jelly off your sheets.

I personally get annoyed with the classic stereotypes which cast subs as shy women trembling at every word of a masterful man, or weak willed men lying down to get trampled on; and the equal stereotype of a dom/me as a curt, hard, bossyboots. Being a sub or dom is often a strong and true expression of self - it takes great courage to do and to enter into those negotiations with others - strength that reflects back onto he person.

I appreciate that maybe you feel we are all making a big deal out of something small - well your comment may have been but its like saying - my god I went out to a Gay pub and do you know there were men there - and they looked ordinary - they didn't wear tight trousers or have Freddie mercury moustaches - isn't that ironic/amusing. Its good for a cheap laugh maybe but in truth you are putting down the community by judging them by those stereotypes.

and just to add my two cents worth into the sensitive -moi? discussion:

I have a big mouth - I say things people don't want OT hear - I get away with it cos I don't mean to hurt anyone - usually. I also get away with it cos I smile, I giggle I flirt a little I don't shout or let my voice go cold or harsh - now how can I convey that here? I just have to try - to add little bits on to explain the tone of my post and hope that anyone who gets upset will PM me and then I'll apologise - hell sometimes I'll even grovel!

We are all cautious and careful - surely that’s a good thing? to be aware of others feelings?

and regarding the anonymity question. I would be in potential danger of not losing my job but getting eased out and not getting another job if the full extent of my 'kink' was made public. Also I used to work (and may again in future) in a crèche. I don't have a government job or work for a church I work for a nice liberal charity but this would be too controversial for them - and too potentially damaging to their public image - so yes I try to be careful. Never assume that someone is happy to be 'outed' and never question those who insist that discretion is necessary.

 

[Never]

Lancecastor:
"For a group of people into whips, chains, leather, and pain, they're a surprisingly, um, sensitive bunch.
~ Anon."

I saw those words quoted here recently, and thought it an apt description of the way I feel about communicating with some of the "regulars" on Lit's BDSM Forum...and thought it might merit some open discussion in the form of a thread."

Wow. It's the way I feel as well, must be why that's my signature line.

"So...as the quote at the top of this post asks more subtlety than I would:

"How is it that people who revel in talk (and we presume, skin-to-skin practice) of all manner of physical pain and torture...can be such babies on an online Board?"

And that's why I changed the speaker's name to anonymous. I wonder if I get good karma for that?

Goodnight ladies and gentlemen.
Remember: The light at the end of the tunnel could be you.

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Confirmation 'fore extrapolation gives a fine indication of any miscalculations.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Another view?

LANCE: I've seen regulars make pre-emptive first strikes on trolls without good cause, then defend their rude actions because the trolls were trolls. I happen to find that sort of rationale undefensible and self-centered and rude and yes, snivelling. Who gives anyone the right to tell people not to post here? Not the other posters, that's fer darned sure.

That'a a red herring. It was not attacks on trolls or anyone else that you were sneering at, it was, specifically, those posts where Morning Girl and others said that their feeling of security in sharing here had been shaken by the trolls that you characterized as a "snivel fest". If I am at a cultural disadvantage and the terms "snivelling" "whining" and "snarky" are not insulting where you live, please clarify their meaning.
And just out of curiosity, how does one make a pre-emptive first strike on a troll, since they don't know the troll even exists until after it has trolled?


LANCE: Quack! I'm not sure who or what you've been reading, but I have never said any such thing nor would ever espouse it. Step away from the crack pipe....It wasn't me.

If you take the time to more than just "skim" this thread you will notice that I am not the only one who has gotten this impression from your posts. Based on the way we have responded to you, you have told MG, myself and others that we are just "bedroom subs" who are more Domme than sub. Personally, I am a switch, and offer my submission to one man who has earned my devotion and respect, and did not bully me into it through insults. And may I point out, in reply to your crack pipe "joke" that I have taken objection to your words, and have not hurled personal insults at you.

LANCE: I think you've tried to tell me I'm wrong a few times...

Well, I should think that telling you I believe you are wrong would be well within my rights, but actually, I have not. I asked you to clarify your position on exactly those issues that have brought us to this point, specifically, the undercurrent of disrespect for female submissive that a number of us see in your posts. My attempt to discuss this with you privately was dismissed as trying to control what you post.
This seems to be a recurring theme with you. You have taken after the moderators, MG, and now me, as trying to control you and what you can say here. Well, if there is a misunderstanding , allow me to clear it up. You are free, Lance, no one here is either your Domme or your sub. Shake off your little make believe chains and be free.
Lance, do you see me fighting with a lot of people here? Do you see Dixi getting into flame wars? Morning girl, is she involved in a lot of contention?
Step back and take a look at the situation. Do you honestly believe that you are a blameless victim, who has not brought any of this on by your own attitude?

Oh dear, I suppose you will think I just told you what to do. I guess I'd better go buy myself some leather boots and a riding crop.

 

[Guest]

I've read through this thread a couple of times. I sort of understand the view points of everyone here even though I may not necessarily agree with them. Like others, I refuse to take sides. We all are entitled to our opinion. Remember, there is a hell of alot of diversity in this community.

For me, the bottom line is this; I know who and what I am. So does my Dom. That is all that matters. If you see me as a sub, great. If you think I'm a Domme in sub's clothing, do me a favor. Share that opinion with my Dom if you ever encounter him. He can always use a good laugh.

Life is short and Lit is where I come to play, share, and learn.

 

[Desdemona]

This was me, dammit.

I've read through this thread a couple of times. I sort of understand the view points of everyone here even though I may not necessarily agree with them. Like others, I refuse to take sides. We all are entitled to our opinion. Remember, there is a hell of alot of diversity in this community.

For me, the bottom line is this; I know who and what I am. So does my Dom. That is all that matters. If you see me as a sub, great. If you think I'm a Domme in sub's clothing, do me a favor. Share that opinion with my Dom if you ever encounter him. He can always use a good laugh.

Life is short and Lit is where I come to play, share, and learn.

 

[Lancecastor]

But we're NOT sensitive!!!!!

......you were sneering at, it was, specifically, those posts where Morning Girl and others said that their feeling of security in sharing here had been shaken by the trolls that you characterized as a "snivel fest".

Lance: I wasn't sneering. But I definitely did see some snivelling going on. Perhaps there still is.....?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I am at a cultural disadvantage and the terms "snivelling" "whining" and "snarky" are not insulting where you live, please clarify their meaning.

Lance: You are at a cultural disadvantage. Where I live they are pleasant nudges between friends, particularly to point out when someone has a pickle up their bum, regardless of gender or sexual preference. Nothing to get steamed about ,darlin'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And just out of curiosity, how does one make a pre-emptive first strike on a troll, since they don't know the troll even exists until after it has trolled?

Lance: you're right. I was wrong. (hey...print THAT out!) But I liked the way it sounded....all military and butch. Grrrr. Hey, how many times can you use "troll" in a sentence before it just starts to sound funny all on its' own?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


If you take the time to more than just "skim" this thread you will notice that I am not the only one who has gotten this impression from your posts. Based on the way we have responded to you, you have told MG, myself and others that we are just "bedroom subs" who are more Domme than sub. Personally, I am a switch, and offer my submission to one man who has earned my devotion and respect, and did not bully me into it through insults. And may I point out, in reply to your crack pipe "joke" that I have taken objection to your words, and have not hurled personal insults at you.

Lance: Well, I'm sure not getting any warm, gooey feelings off the way you've been mean-mouthing me, CO....crack does that....where is the tenderness we used to share? Where is the love? I obviously have struck a nerve with my "cute" remarks about how Domme you sound when you're pissed off. Geez....let it go already, Sarge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I should think that telling you I believe you are wrong would be well within my rights, but actually, I have not. I asked you to clarify your position on exactly those issues that have brought us to this point, specifically, the undercurrent of disrespect for female submissive that a number of us see in your posts. My attempt to discuss this with you privately was dismissed as trying to control what you post.
This seems to be a recurring theme with you. You have taken after the moderators, MG, and now me, as trying to control you and what you can say here. Well, if there is a misunderstanding , allow me to clear it up. You are free, Lance, no one here is either your Domme or your sub. Shake off your little make believe chains and be free.
Lance, do you see me fighting with a lot of people here? Do you see Dixi getting into flame wars? Morning girl, is she involved in a lot of contention?
Step back and take a look at the situation. Do you honestly believe that you are a blameless victim, who has not brought any of this on by your own attitude?

Lance: Nice rant. A steaming load of bullshit that is 180 degrees away from what has actually transpired....but a lovely vent nonetheless.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh dear, I suppose you will think I just told you what to do. I guess I'd better go buy myself some leather boots and a riding crop.

Lance: You're a chuckle, CO; do please send pics of the new outfit!

 

[CarolineOh]

Thank you for proving my points Lance.

 

[Lancecastor]

The Matrimonial Spanking

okay I'll deal with this one first - Lance I think I like you but this is the area where you are pissing some people off. I think this is because your opinion as stated above is very typical of the uncomprehending and sometimes patronising comments we get from the 'straight/nilla' world. I personally felt when I first read this section of your post that despite your time here you had not taken the time to get to know why people engage in BDSM and you had not troubled to see us as individuals who are people separate to their sexual preferences but merely lumped us into boxes dependant on our expressed sub/Domme traits. Its lazy thinking darlin - I'm sorry to level that accusation at you and you know I mean it with a smile. The reality of BDSM is that most of us are 'real people' we have lives, important jobs kids, grocery shopping to do regardless of our sexual nature. On this board we come as real people to discuss our lifestyle (health safety, tips etc etc) we are not engaged in sub/dom or BDSM behaviour or scenarios so therefore I would find it more ironic if people felt that they needed to 'play' the sub role or dom role whilst talking about the best way to get KY jelly off your sheets.

I personally get annoyed with the classic stereotypes which cast subs as shy women trembling at every word of a masterful man, or weak willed men lying down to get trampled on; and the equal stereotype of a dom/me as a curt, hard, bossyboots. Being a sub or dom is often a strong and true expression of self - it takes great courage to do and to enter into those negotiations with others - strength that reflects back onto he person.

I appreciate that maybe you feel we are all making a big deal out of something small - well your comment may have been but its like saying - my god I went out to a Gay pub and do you know there were men there - and they looked ordinary - they didn't wear tight trousers or have Freddie mercury moustaches - isn't that ironic/amusing. Its good for a cheap laugh maybe but in truth you are putting down the community by judging them by those stereotypes.

and just to add my two cents worth into the sensitive -moi? discussion:

I have a big mouth - I say things people don't want OT hear - I get away with it cos I don't mean to hurt anyone - usually. I also get away with it cos I smile, I giggle I flirt a little I don't shout or let my voice go cold or harsh - now how can I convey that here? I just have to try - to add little bits on to explain the tone of my post and hope that anyone who gets upset will PM me and then I'll apologise - hell sometimes I'll even grovel!

We are all cautious and careful - surely that’s a good thing? to be aware of others feelings?

and regarding the anonymity question. I would be in potential danger of not losing my job but getting eased out and not getting another job if the full extent of my 'kink' was made public. Also I used to work (and may again in future) in a crèche. I don't have a government job or work for a church I work for a nice liberal charity but this would be too controversial for them - and too potentially damaging to their public image - so yes I try to be careful. Never assume that someone is happy to be 'outed' and never question those who insist that discretion is necessary.

Hi Petrel;

Thanks for posting.

In touching upon, seeking discussion about, and prodding for reactions to the issue of sensitivities here, I expected to see some responses that indicated the touching of a nerve or two.

IRL, those BDSM circles in which I move are not as suspicious, sensitive or argumentative about who they are as the anonymous Lit BDSM group is.

I find that unusual...becuse of the anonymity here, etc...so, I ask "why?".

Thanks again for your thoughts;
LC

 

[Lancecastor]

You're welcome.

Thank you for proving my points Lance.

You're welcome....I thought you could use a hand.
LC

 

[lilfrk]

Re: The Matrimonial Spanking

Hi Petrel;

Thanks for posting.

In touching upon, seeking discussion about, and prodding for reactions to the issue of sensitivities here, I expected to see some responses that indicated the touching of a nerve or two.

IRL, those BDSM circles in which I move are not as suspicious, sensitive or argumentative about who they are as the anonymous Lit BDSM group is.

I find that unusual...becuse of the anonymity here, etc...so, I ask "why?".

Thanks again for your thoughts;
LC

It's HOW you ask the why, not the why itself that bugs many of us. After we tell you why we feel the way we do you see fit to pick on us about it. You're Lit's school yard bully.

We are allowed to not see your point of view and to disagree with you. It doesn't matter if we are Dom/me or sub. You shouldn't call us names for doing it.

 

[Lancecastor]

Bully?

It's HOW you ask the why, not the why itself that bugs many of us. After we tell you why we feel the way we do you see fit to pick on us about it. You're Lit's school yard bully.

We are allowed to not see your point of view and to disagree with you. It doesn't matter if we are Dom/me or sub. You shouldn't call us names for doing it.

Bully?

Hmmm...that's a first.

There was indeed some whining going on by people who were snarling at trolls....but that was weeks ago now.

My view is that I saw it and challenged the behavior as hypocrisy, for reasons already discussed ad nauseum.

And I believe the Lance Pickles were distributed for insertion at about that time. In other words, I apparently pissed some people off.

It now appears that I've stepped into another cowpie by commenting in passing that a sub sounded quite domme in a post one day.

This has been latched onto like a packlette of rabid terriers and shaken in front of all and sundry ever since. It keeps getting brought up not by me but by others. I've explained myself again ad nauseum.....just words tossed off in much in the same way as amongst let's say, a group of gay male friends.... you see, it would indeed be funny to say to a femmeguy pal that he was sounding all butch today in my circles. Feelings and friendships would all remain intact.

Instead....from reading CarolineOh's posts in this thread in particular, I'm starting to sound like a really evil sack of shit...which as it happens, I'm not.

Thankfully, I know that I'm an inclusive, open, sensitive, caring individual. And so do my many friends hither and yon.

It would be completely within my perogative to conclude from where I sit that CarolineOh is being indirectly and passively aggressive with me...by her improperly suggesting I'm sneering at named others, wrongly accusing me of attempting to undermine the Mods, ridiculously saying I don't like submissive women....is starting to look like a calculated string of bullshit quite the opposite of what I'm about and have said to date.

I shouldn't even respond to such total shite!

Of COURSE people are entitled....nay, EXPECTED....to differ with my views!

This thread was started with a view to asking about sensitivity levels here on the BDSM board.

The genesis for the thread came from someone's signature file, as has been revealed.

Specific rationales in support of not needing to be afraid, for example, were laid out as part of the thread starter.

I noted some sensitivities I've seen here versus IRL BDSM communities I know members of and have moved within...places where I don't see the protectionism, fear, suspicion and defensiveness I'm seeing here.

Because I'd like to understand the roots of those behaviors.

That's all I had in mind.

Really.

Thanks;
Lance

 

[artful]

Des

I've read through this thread a couple of times. I sort of understand the view points of everyone here even though I may not necessarily agree with them. Like others, I refuse to take sides. We all are entitled to our opinion. Remember, there is a hell of alot of diversity in this community.

For me, the bottom line is this; I know who and what I am. So does my Dom. That is all that matters. If you see me as a sub, great. If you think I'm a Domme in sub's clothing, do me a favor. Share that opinion with my Dom if you ever encounter him. He can always use a good laugh.

Life is short and Lit is where I come to play, share, and learn.

I quite agree with your post Des. Let me add here what I *THINK* is the problem. When any person makes a "statement, or gives an opinion", and someone ELSE disagrees with it.

All to often, the issue would be resolved amicably between the two parties IF, no one else were to jump on the bandwagon.

This INTERFERENCE, of two people being able to rationally discuss the ISSUE at hand, (subject matter), causes an UNbalanced and biased argument, involving personal accusations when there are OTHERS involved.

ORIGINAL issues are forgotten, misquotes are made,
misinterpreted INTENTS are taken as FACT, and on and on and on. The weight of NUMBERS,...makes it an unfair discussion.

The symbolic, *DOGPILE effect*, tends to show the ~singled out person~ as being persecuted, whether they are right or WRONG. Then OTHER emotions come
into play.

Others may side with the singled out person,...not because they agree with THEIR opinion,...but simply because they see an UNFAIR advantage in the NUMBERS.

Maybe they perceive an achilles heel in ONE post that they FEEL gives them justification for supporting one side or the other.

Confusion sets in. Believe me when I say, it IS an unfair advantage when ONE person is singled out in this manner.

Because of their opinion being questioned, by many different directions, all at the same time, one tends to make MISTAKES in their posts, just in an effort to maintain their position.

I have been guilty of it as most of us have, but sarcastic posts, scathing remarks, and caustic attitudes, has no place in a REAL discussion.

BTW folks,...like it or not,...when you take sides
you are participating in a "FLAME" war. It may be a little one,...but that's how BIG ones develope!

(jmho) but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[MzChrista]

Gotta tell you Lance. Around the BDSM circles I hang out, you tell some sub you think they are snivellers and pasive aggressive and really a Domme because they dont go for the line of bullshit you trying to peddle, you looking to get an ass kickin.
See, you keep thinkin oh thats how friends talk, but maybe not everybody thinks your theyre friend.

 

[lilfrk]

LOL!

Gotta tell you Lance. Around the BDSM circles I hang out, you tell some sub you think they are snivellers and pasive aggressive and really a Domme because they dont go for the line of bullshit you trying to peddle, you looking to get an ass kickin.
See, you keep thinkin oh thats how friends talk, but maybe not everybody thinks your theyre friend.

Exactly!


For that right there I think I love you. Thank you.

 

[Lancecastor]

Well....

Gotta tell you Lance. Around the BDSM circles I hang out, you tell some sub you think they are snivellers and pasive aggressive and really a Domme because they dont go for the line of bullshit you trying to peddle, you looking to get an ass kickin.
See, you keep thinkin oh thats how friends talk, but maybe not everybody thinks your theyre friend.

....if a stranger walked up to me with all of that in one sentence, it would be a short conversation indeed.

But that's not what happened here.

I stand by everything I've posted.

Lance

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Des

I quite agree with your post Des. Let me add here what I *THINK* is the problem. When any person makes a "statement, or gives an opinion", and someone ELSE disagrees with it.

All to often, the issue would be resolved amicably between the two parties IF, no one else were to jump on the bandwagon.

This INTERFERENCE, of two people being able to rationally discuss the ISSUE at hand, (subject matter), causes an UNbalanced and biased argument, involving personal accusations when there are OTHERS involved.

ORIGINAL issues are forgotten, misquotes are made,
misinterpreted INTENTS are taken as FACT, and on and on and on. The weight of NUMBERS,...makes it an unfair discussion.

The symbolic, *DOGPILE effect*, tends to show the ~singled out person~ as being persecuted, whether they are right or WRONG. Then OTHER emotions come
into play.

Others may side with the singled out person,...not because they agree with THEIR opinion,...but simply because they see an UNFAIR advantage in the NUMBERS.

Maybe they perceive an achilles heel in ONE post that they FEEL gives them justification for supporting one side or the other.

Confusion sets in. Believe me when I say, it IS an unfair advantage when ONE person is singled out in this manner.

Because of their opinion being questioned, by many different directions, all at the same time, one tends to make MISTAKES in their posts, just in an effort to maintain their position.

I have been guilty of it as most of us have, but sarcastic posts, scathing remarks, and caustic attitudes, has no place in a REAL discussion.

BTW folks,...like it or not,...when you take sides
you are participating in a "FLAME" war. It may be a little one,...but that's how BIG ones develope!

(jmho) but it's mine,...and I own it.

Very nice post, my friend. Lets stop the fighting over petty stuff and have some fun.

 

[Lancecastor]

Thanks...now, where were we?

Very nice post, my friend. Lets stop the fighting over petty stuff and have some fun.

Thanks....I'd much rather pet the sweaty things.

Maybe I should have stuck with discussion of the origins of the phrase "Matrimonial Spanking."

Cheers;
Lance

 

[artful]

Re: Thanks...now, where were we?

Thanks....I'd much rather pet the sweaty things.

Maybe I should have stuck with discussion of the origins of the phrase "Matrimonial Spanking."

Cheers;
Lance

BTW Lance, when I was a small child, I can remember reference to *spanking* the bride.

There was also a ceremony of(I'll never be able to spell this, because I can't REALLY remember how to pronounce it), but it was SOMETHING like a 'Shivaree'.

On the night of a wedding, a group of friends to the bride and groom would assemble at the house where bride and groom were spending the night.
Sometime after the kerosene lamps were doused, they would rouse the couple, make the groom circle the house pushing his bride in a wheelbarrow, which had been filled with 2 gallons of water from a bucket.

His assignent was to accomplish this feat by allowing her to keep herself braced ABOVE the water by propping her feet up on two corners of the wheelbarrow, while supporting MOST of her weight by placing her hands on the other two corners of the wheelbarrow.

As I recall,..**** was had by ALL, but I don't remember if there was a REWARD or PUNISHMENT !

(Hmmm,...I now wonder,...would we call that a BDSM scene? Was my Daddy REALLY a BDSM'ER, and I just never recognised it?)

 

[Lancecastor]

Spanking the bride et al...

BTW Lance, when I was a small child, I can remember reference to *spanking* the bride.

There was also a ceremony of(I'll never be able to spell this, because I can't REALLY remember how to pronounce it), but it was SOMETHING like a 'Shivaree'.

On the night of a wedding, a group of friends to the bride and groom would assemble at the house where bride and groom were spending the night.
Sometime after the kerosene lamps were doused, they would rouse the couple, make the groom circle the house pushing his bride in a wheelbarrow, which had been filled with 2 gallons of water from a bucket.

His assignent was to accomplish this feat by allowing her to keep herself braced ABOVE the water by propping her feet up on two corners of the wheelbarrow, while supporting MOST of her weight by placing her hands on the other two corners of the wheelbarrow.

As I recall,..**** was had by ALL, but I don't remember if there was a REWARD or PUNISHMENT !

(Hmmm,...I now wonder,...would we call that a BDSM scene? Was my Daddy REALLY a BDSM'ER, and I just never recognised it?)

When I heard the phrase "Matrimonial Spanking" at the post wedding reception reception last night, I asked if the phrase was reference to an old (possibly English) tradition....

And yes, now that you mention it, the Shivaree tradition also rings bells.

And of course handfasting has ( I believe?) its origins in nuptials that involve being bound in a pit for three days....the rationale being that when the families came back ...if you haven't killed each other...you're meant to be married.

I sometimes think that BDSM and TPE are modern fringe interpretations of olde customs that were homogenized and relegated to the edges by new worlde puritans.

In any case....the question so mischieviously put by the attractive woman last night certainly pricked up my ...ears.

Cheers;
Lance

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Thanks...now, where were we?

Thanks....I'd much rather pet the sweaty things.

Maybe I should have stuck with discussion of the origins of the phrase "Matrimonial Spanking."

Cheers;
Lance

I was sweaty earlier and nobody petted me. ~pouts~

Oh well, I have a date coming up this weekend.............