A surprisingly, um, sensitive bunch.

[Lancecastor]

Petting....

I was sweaty earlier and nobody petted me. ~pouts~

Oh well, I have a date coming up this weekend.............

...by the sweaty, seductive light of the New Moon shimmering on your Stagnant Pond....sounds positively feral.

Here's hoping your frown gets turned upside down this weekend;
Lance

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Petting....

...by the sweaty, seductive light of the New Moon shimmering on your Stagnant Pond....sounds positively feral.

Here's hoping your frown gets turned upside down this weekend;
Lance

Thanks man. Feral can be pretty damn good. Based on the phone call I just enjoyed, I'd say this weekend will definitely turn my frown upside down. In fact, I'm grinning right now. Let the countdown begin!

 

[petrel]

Re: Bully?

I've explained myself again ad nauseum.....just words tossed off in much in the same way as amongst let's say, a group of gay male friends.... you see, it would indeed be funny to say to a femmeguy pal that he was sounding all butch today in my circles. Feelings and friendships would all remain intact.

okay but we were offended by the comment - so maybe in the interests of friendship you could apologise for offending us?

You don't have to back down for the original comment just tell us (and the person you referred the comment too) that you are sorry if you offended them - that was not your intention
[if you have already done so elsewhere - I apologise to you!)

re my post and your reply - thanks for replying first off and secondly - well there ain't any secondly - I'm just gonna let this one lay down and die - I made my point about the offensiveness of certain mind sets, and that if people engaged in illegal and marginilised activities/communities ask for privacy/anonymity then they should get it.
Any one form that kind of community will be a little sensitive – hey – we have a right to be!
Okay topic dropped now!

 

[Lancecastor]

Droppppppps

okay but we were offended by the comment - so maybe in the interests of friendship you could apologise for offending us?

You don't have to back down for the original comment just tell us (and the person you referred the comment too) that you are sorry if you offended them - that was not your intention
[if you have already done so elsewhere - I apologise to you!)

re my post and your reply - thanks for replying first off and secondly - well there ain't any secondly - I'm just gonna let this one lay down and die - I made my point about the offensiveness of certain mind sets, and that if people engaged in illegal and marginilised activities/communities ask for privacy/anonymity then they should get it.
Any one form that kind of community will be a little sensitive – hey – we have a right to be!
Okay topic dropped now!

Hi Petrel;

I'm sure I've said many times already that my intention wasn't to be offensive to anyone, but to stimulate discussion. I feel like I've explained myself fully several times. Sensitive topics are sore spots are just that and I have no desire to pick at anyone's scabs other than my own.

I do tend to use colorful and provocative language in order to stimulate discussion. I try to limit its' direct use to those who have already demonstrated an ability or predeliction towards being provocative or thick-skinned with myself or others in the thread at hand or elsewhere...in other words, I try not to go first. Like most, I am an imperfect being and sometimes my words are seen as hamfisted or brutish. When that happens, I try to explain where I'm coming from.

As to your second point, the thread was initiated to talk about that very point. I fully understand that people here express fears of the types you mention and that their caution in part stems from those fears. That being said, I wonder how these people express themselves and their interests IRL...because it seems to me than an Anonymous BBS environment is much safer than IRL activities.

Again, it's obviously a sensitive topic to enough people here I thought it warranted some airing.

Cheers;
Lance

 

[Lancecastor]

Also quite rousing.

Bumped by request.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

"For a group of people into whips, chains, leather, and pain, they're a surprisingly, um, sensitive bunch.
~ Anon."

I saw those words quoted here recently, and thought it an apt description of the way I feel about communicating with some of the "regulars" on Lit's BDSM Forum...and thought it might merit some open discussion in the form of a thread.

I do not practice 24/7 TPE BDSM, but am an alpha dom by nature and enjoy kink. As such, I have a cross section of both vanilla and scene friends and acquaintances. I believe I move freely amongst them all IRL and am as welcome in a dungeon as on a 19th hole.

However, I sometimes feel an air of "twitchiness" amongst Lit BDSM regulars....a fear, a defensiveness, a quickness to assume that words mean harm.

And I wonder what that's all about...where does it come from?

IRL, sceners I know are not anonymous. In the clubs I've frequented over the years the attendees don't use avatars or fake names.

Here on Lit, we are all effectively anonymous.

So the fear of being found out is quite low if you have something you want to hide.

Is it fear of ridicule? If so, those who feel ridiculed here have pretty sharp tongues themselves, I've noticed...and usually a number of friends to come to their rescue.

As an aside....In terms of snarkiness, the non-lurking subs here have seem to have no problem speaking up...and in fact the vocal subs here are in my experience quicker with a flaming snarl than the dom(mes)....so I don't think it's a D/s communication or style difference.

Is it fear of actual harm? Again, I don't understand how that can happen...it's safer here than IRL by a couple of orders of magnitude.

So....where does this high degree of sensitivity come from?

The Big Sticky at the top of this forum refers to "fear" and "safety" several times....and I'm sure it's more than fear of the GB types "invading" this space.

So...as the quote at the top of this post asks more subtlely than I would:

"How is it that people who revel in talk (and we presume, skin-to-skin practise) of all manner of physical pain and torture...can be such babies on an online Board?"

I think it's a marvellously ironic dichotomy....and I look forward to the discussion....because I don't know about you, but IRL, I find BDSM people to be far less defensively sensitive than here.

Lance "A Penny for Your Thoughts....and a Dime For You To Keep Them To Yourself." Castor

I for one could care less about that your opinion is on this or the board per say

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: A surprisingly, um, sensitive bunch.

I for one could care less about that your opinion is on this or the board per say

Thanks for caring enough to write and say you don't care.

 

[Netzach]

I miss petrel, what a class act. What she said.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I miss petrel, what a class act. What she said.

She certainly was it seems from her words in various places....a well defined strength.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

Also quite rousing.

Bumped by request.

Uh, whose request, exactly? Names please.

 

[Lancecastor]

Uh, whose request, exactly? Names please.

You said not to tell, remember?

 

[Etoile]

You said not to tell, remember?

Now you're just trying to confuse me. Ha! It won't work! I am too sane for that!

Okay, I'm a little hyper.

And I've been messing with a website for too long.

I gotta go to bed. Long emotional day expected tomorrow and Friday and all weekend.

 

[FungiUg]

Okay, I'm a little hyper.

Well, hello there little hyper... wanna sweetie?

 

[Lancecastor]

Tomorrow and all day and all weekend? That sounds like one long day all right.

Sleepwell.

 

[Caitlynne]

I miss petrel, what a class act. What she said.

I thought exactly the same thing when I read her post. I miss her too!!

 

[cellis]

I miss petrel, what a class act. What she said.

Yes I miss seeing her post here or there....

 

[lilfrk]

Yes I miss seeing her post here or there....

Me too.