AMA - seela

[seela]

I forgive you.

Whew.

 

[TheOriginalSA]

What was the greatest moment of your life ?

 

[seela]

What was the greatest moment of your life ?

There are several moments that have been great because something special had happened that made the moment great like paying off the last bit of my debts, meeting people, playing in concerts etc. It's impossible to pick any one of the great moments as the greatest or most significant.

One seemingly insignificant but great moment was when I lived in a different country. I had just moved into a new apartment there. Moving was several trips on a tram and I did it alone, because I didn't really know people there yet - I had been in the country for about six weeks at that point.

There was an artsy event the same day and evening, and normally I'm not really good at going to places like that alone, but that day I went. I left my new apartment and started walking towards the center of the city. There was an overpass across the street I was walking along and it had a banner advertising a store that sells kitchen appliances hanging on the side. And then all of a sudden it hit me - I understood that the ad said there was a discount on fridges and something else that I didn't understand. But I understood fridge and discount.

That little moment made me realize that I had managed to find and move into a new apartment all by myself in a country where I didn't really speak the language yet, I was walking alone and confidently in a foreign city where nearly no one knew me and I was on my way to do something I normally wouldn't have done.

That moment I felt free, like absolutely anything is possible, like I can face and conquer everything and go anywhere. I had nothing tying me down, just an incredible and overwhelming feeling of confidence, freedom and possibility. The world seemed big and open to me. I can remember how it felt in my stomach. I got goosebumps, I couldn't stop smiling. I've never felt that kind of limitless freedom and confidence in my life after that.

I really don't know why understanding the words discount and fridge triggered all that happiness, because at six weeks in the country I already managed to buy things, order food, introduce myself, have very basic discussions etc. in the language, I had taken an intensive class. I guess it was because the fridge ad wasn't exactly related to anything in my world and I wasn't particularly trying to understand it, yet I did understand it, that triggered the happiness.

It was a really good moment, not sure if the greatest. I remember the weather that exact moment, the metallic smell of the overpass, what I was wearing. Just a very good moment, even if insignificant in the grand scheme of things and it's likely not at all what is meant when people ask about the greatest moment. I think the answer should be something very profound and meaningful like having a child, not just walking down the street.

I'm sorry I ramble so much yet barely answer the question.

 

[TheOriginalSA]

There are several moments that have been great because something special had happened that made the moment great like paying off the last bit of my debts, meeting people, playing in concerts etc. It's impossible to pick any one of the great moments as the greatest or most significant.

One seemingly insignificant but great moment was when I lived in a different country. I had just moved into a new apartment there. Moving was several trips on a tram and I did it alone, because I didn't really know people there yet - I had been in the country for about six weeks at that point.

There was an artsy event the same day and evening, and normally I'm not really good at going to places like that alone, but that day I went. I left my new apartment and started walking towards the center of the city. There was an overpass across the street I was walking along and it had a banner advertising a store that sells kitchen appliances hanging on the side. And then all of a sudden it hit me - I understood that the ad said there was a discount on fridges and something else that I didn't understand. But I understood fridge and discount.

That little moment made me realize that I had managed to find and move into a new apartment all by myself in a country where I didn't really speak the language yet, I was walking alone and confidently in a foreign city where nearly no one knew me and I was on my way to do something I normally wouldn't have done.

That moment I felt free, like absolutely anything is possible, like I can face and conquer everything and go anywhere. I had nothing tying me down, just an incredible and overwhelming feeling of confidence, freedom and possibility. The world seemed big and open to me. I can remember how it felt in my stomach. I got goosebumps, I couldn't stop smiling. I've never felt that kind of limitless freedom and confidence in my life after that.

I really don't know why understanding the words discount and fridge triggered all that happiness, because at six weeks in the country I already managed to buy things, order food, introduce myself, have very basic discussions etc. in the language, I had taken an intensive class. I guess it was because the fridge ad wasn't exactly related to anything in my world and I wasn't particularly trying to understand it, yet I did understand it, that triggered the happiness.

It was a really good moment, not sure if the greatest. I remember the weather that exact moment, the metallic smell of the overpass, what I was wearing. Just a very good moment, even if insignificant in the grand scheme of things and it's likely not at all what is meant when people ask about the greatest moment. I think the answer should be something very profound and meaningful like having a child, not just walking down the street.

I'm sorry I ramble so much yet barely answer the question.

No, you did perfectly

I don't know you and your answer, gave me insight to who you are as a person. I enjoyed reading the detail description, I could imagine it

 

[gracie920101]

Who was the last person you hugged? What prompted the hug?

 

[seela]

Who was the last person you hugged? What prompted the hug?

I had forgotten about these threads already!

The last person I hugged was my partner this morning and nothing special prompted it, just a quick good morning hug from behind when he was making coffee.

The last person I hugged other than my partner was his mom a few weeks ago when I visited before she passed away.

I’ve been pretty good at distancing and haven’t touched people in ages. I did hug someone at work in September/October when they told me they had cancer. It’s a bit odd to remember so specifically the times I’ve touched other people. A picture of our times.

 

[gracie920101]

I agree its really weird to remember isolated hugs but I think it serves to make a hug all that more special. I have a few hugs I still remember years later.

What's the age difference between you and your partner? Was that a consideration in your decision to start a relationship?

 

[seela]

I agree its really weird to remember isolated hugs but I think it serves to make a hug all that more special. I have a few hugs I still remember years later.

What's the age difference between you and your partner? Was that a consideration in your decision to start a relationship?

I have some hugs that I remember fondly, too.

I'm around 20 days younger than my partner. Generally I've been with people who have been a little bit older than me, mostly 2-8 years older. One partner was quite a lot older.

My partner and I were just a sex thing at first, so the age definitely wasn't a consideration. If I had thought from the get go that it would lead to something serious, I think I would have stopped to think about his age, just because all my previous partners had been a little older and he didn't fit the mold.

But no, that 20+ day age difference wasn't a deciding factor either way.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Did you move away from your family of origin early or did you stay at home longer? How do you think it influenced you, either way?

 

[seela]

Did you move away from your family of origin early or did you stay at home longer? How do you think it influenced you, either way?

and if i may add an additional question: how do you think would the opposite have influenced you differently?

Here it's normal to move away from your family when you start university I did highschool in 3.5 years instead of 3 like most people do (because I wanted to take more classes, here you can plan your own schedule and highschool takes 2.5-4 years, but 3 years is the most common), so I graduated HS in December and didn't start university until September next year. I officially moved to live on my own in December the year I started the university. The university was in the city where my parents lived and the rental market is insane around the time school starts, so I wanted to wait a few months and in December I got cheapo student housing very easily.

I had spent a lot of time with my boyfriend's place since I was 17, so I was only half living at my parents place for years before I finally officially moved away from there. I was 20 then (we start school when we're 7 and usually finish highschool when we're 19) and had gotten used to cleaning and cooking and all those other chores well before that. My parents loved to take their camper van for trips that lasted 2-4 weeks during their summer vacations. I hated it and ever since I was around 14 I was allowed to stay at home and not go with them. I mostly took care of myself during their trips, but had lots of support from neighbors, my older brother would drop by occasionally etc, so I wasn't totally alone and got help when needed. And when I played house with my boyfriend, I got even better at all the household stuff, paying the bills and such.

How that influenced me? That's a hard question. I think moving out the way I did was super gentle, because it happened gradually. I drifted away from home gently over the years, but I always had my parents' support. I think I just always felt very safe knowing they had my back but also they allowed me a lot of freedom.

If my parents had suffocated me, I think I probably would have actively wanted to move away much younger and I don't think the relationship between my parents would have been so good.

My answer is more about how my homelife affected the time I moved away rather than the other way around, I'm afraid. I was simply always very independent and my parents allowed that, which lead to me not feeling the need to escape home very young. But at the same time I think if I had moved to love on my own young, I would have been fine and it wouldn't have affected me as a person *that* dramatically.

And I think if I had moved away young, I would have had less money for traveling and such, so that I'm sure would have had a huge impact on me. I also wonder if I would have had a bigger appreciation for someone doing my laundry if I had moved away young. I always felt good and proud of being capable of taking care of myself and others. If it had happened out of necessity, maybe I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I now do. Maybe I'd be less into doing D types' laundry.

Thanks for the questions!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Here it's normal to move away from your family when you start university I did highschool in 3.5 years instead of 3 like most people do (because I wanted to take more classes, here you can plan your own schedule and highschool takes 2.5-4 years, but 3 years is the most common), so I graduated HS in December and didn't start university until September next year. I officially moved to live on my own in December the year I started the university. The university was in the city where my parents lived and the rental market is insane around the time school starts, so I wanted to wait a few months and in December I got cheapo student housing very easily.

I had spent a lot of time with my boyfriend's place since I was 17, so I was only half living at my parents place for years before I finally officially moved away from there. I was 20 then (we start school when we're 7 and usually finish highschool when we're 19) and had gotten used to cleaning and cooking and all those other chores well before that. My parents loved to take their camper van for trips that lasted 2-4 weeks during their summer vacations. I hated it and ever since I was around 14 I was allowed to stay at home and not go with them. I mostly took care of myself during their trips, but had lots of support from neighbors, my older brother would drop by occasionally etc, so I wasn't totally alone and got help when needed. And when I played house with my boyfriend, I got even better at all the household stuff, paying the bills and such.

How that influenced me? That's a hard question. I think moving out the way I did was super gentle, because it happened gradually. I drifted away from home gently over the years, but I always had my parents' support. I think I just always felt very safe knowing they had my back but also they allowed me a lot of freedom.

If my parents had suffocated me, I think I probably would have actively wanted to move away much younger and I don't think the relationship between my parents would have been so good.

My answer is more about how my homelife affected the time I moved away rather than the other way around, I'm afraid. I was simply always very independent and my parents allowed that, which lead to me not feeling the need to escape home very young. But at the same time I think if I had moved to love on my own young, I would have been fine and it wouldn't have affected me as a person *that* dramatically.

And I think if I had moved away young, I would have had less money for traveling and such, so that I'm sure would have had a huge impact on me. I also wonder if I would have had a bigger appreciation for someone doing my laundry if I had moved away young. I always felt good and proud of being capable of taking care of myself and others. If it had happened out of necessity, maybe I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I now do. Maybe I'd be less into doing D types' laundry.

Thanks for the questions!

Thank you for the answer!

I can se a lot of parallells with my own moving out process. Changed my address at 19 when I finished high school but don’t think I had slept more than one night here or there in my parents house the year before. To discourage the slowly moving out thing my parents said that I’d have to pay my own way if i didn’t live at hone with them. That how I ended up with a lot of side jobs through highschool and university, despite the student loan system we have here.
How does it work where you are? Do you have a loan system and if so, does it cover the whole year? Do parents have to chip in?

 

[seela]

Thank you for the answer!

I can se a lot of parallells with my own moving out process. Changed my address at 19 when I finished high school but don’t think I had slept more than one night here or there in my parents house the year before. To discourage the slowly moving out thing my parents said that I’d have to pay my own way if i didn’t live at hone with them. That how I ended up with a lot of side jobs through highschool and university, despite the student loan system we have here.
How does it work where you are? Do you have a loan system and if so, does it cover the whole year? Do parents have to chip in?

Well this got long.

When I studied:

I got 300-ish euros as a student grant and 200-ish for living expenses from the government. The student grant was the same for everybody unless you lived with your parents, then it was lower. The living expense thing was dependent on your actual living costs, but the cap was around 200 euros, so in reality it was the same for everybody because it was rare your rent was so cheap that it wouldn't qualify for the highest amount. On top of that we had the option to get government backed student loans, which was 300-ish a month. You didn't have to start paying back the loan until some years after graduating.

You had 70 months total of student grant and living expense money, and for each month you collected the grants and loan you had to have 5 credits (ECTS, so bachelor's is 180 ECTS, master's is 120 ECTS, roughly). The credits were checked in August and if you hadn't gotten enough credits in the previous September-August cycle, you had to return the grants. So you could collect your grants in summer too, if you wanted to, as long as you got enough credits, but most didn't do it. The student loan was paid as a lump sum at once for an entire school year, so you got 9 months worth per year.

There was a cap on how much you were allowed to earn from your jobs and still get the grants. If you collected 9 months worth of grants, you could earn around 12,000 euros per year on top of that.

My parents didn't really chip in, except that sometimes they'd pay for my train ticket to visit them and when they visited me they'd always fill my fridge, and I did get a little money for birthday and Christmas, like 100 euros.

Now:

Student grant 250e a month, student loan 650e a month. There's no living expense category anymore, but you can apply for it through the same system as non-students do. It affects how much you can earn from your jobs, though There are also the same limits on the amount you can earn, so for 9 months of grants you can earn 12,000 per year. And you still have to clock in at least 5 ECTS for each month you collect your grants.

So now the system is more student loan based, but if you graduate at your target time, you only have to pay back 60% of your student loan.

The state pays directly to the universities so that they can offer cheap lunch in their cafeterias. At the moment you have to pay 2.90 euros for a meal at a university cafeteria and it includes a side salad, bread, warm meal and a drink. That's part of the student benefits package as well and it was the same when I went to school, too.

Edit (because this wasn't long enough yet...):
That 70 month cap is for your entire life. I studied a couple of degrees using those 70 months, for example. And I think I still have a few months' worth left. If you have used up all your months already and want to go back to school, there are other grants you can apply for. Almost everyone who studies in higher education here gets some sort of monetary aid from the government regardless of the age.

 

[IrisAlthea]

That’s interesting! There are differences between your system and ours but in total they are pretty similar.
We have lots of spanish inquisition type jokes about the agency overseeing student grants and loans, but in general it’s a great system, I think.

 

[seela]

That’s interesting! There are differences between your system and ours but in total they are pretty similar.
We have lots of spanish inquisition type jokes about the agency overseeing student grants and loans, but in general it’s a great system, I think.

Oh yeah, they watch you like a hawk! But in reality, if you don't make your required credits one year, you can make up for that and don't have to pay back or lose your grants straight away. They're humane like that. They want people to graduate, and it's much more difficult to do that without any extra monetary help. If you constantly don't make your required credits and don't have a good reason for it... Well. You're screwed.

Now with all the trouble people are having because of covid, they're a lot more lenient with the limits.

I think our systems are great, yes. I'm a very happy tax payer.

 

[twister947]

How long is your growing season?
What crops are grown?
Where does most of your produce come from?

 

[seela]

How long is your growing season?
What crops are grown?
Where does most of your produce come from?

Ooh, questions! I had to research this, which was fun because I’m a nerd.

The growing season varies between 120 days to 190 days (roughly) in both ends of the country. I live rather in the south, so here the season is around 185 days, the archipelago gets around 190 days.

The biggest crops are barley and oat, also wheat, rye and potato. And we produce 25% or more of all the caraway grown globally, so think of me when you spread the seeds.

Most of our non-domestic produce comes from elsewhere in Europe. Lots comes from Spain, Italy and Poland. Also Sweden and the Netherlands. Some things are brought from farther away, like the US (sweet potato mostly) or African countries. Fruit come from all over the world.

 

[twister947]

Ooh, questions! I had to research this, which was fun because I’m a nerd.

The growing season varies between 120 days to 190 days (roughly) in both ends of the country. I live rather in the south, so here the season is around 185 days, the archipelago gets around 190 days.

The biggest crops are barley and oat, also wheat, rye and potato. And we produce 25% or more of all the caraway grown globally, so think of me when you spread the seeds.

Most of our non-domestic produce comes from elsewhere in Europe. Lots comes from Spain, Italy and Poland. Also Sweden and the Netherlands. Some things are brought from farther away, like the US (sweet potato mostly) or African countries. Fruit come from all over the world.

Thanks! I know next to nothing about your country.

 

[seela]

Thanks! I know next to nothing about your country.

That’s common, so no worries.

 

[twister947]

What is your border with Russia like? Any commerce? Workers going back and forth? Families that share both countries?

 

[cookiecat]

What is the best thing you like about your country?

 

[seela]

What is your border with Russia like? Any commerce? Workers going back and forth? Families that share both countries?

The border is long and not open like the rest of our land borders are. During normal non-pandemic times you can cross the border to Sweden and Norway as you please, could even before the EU. With Russia it's much different.

The border is closed and you need a visa to go to Russia, and Russians need a visa to come here. There is a lot of commerce though, and people who live near the borded commonly have multiple entry visas and they go to Russia to buy things like gas. There are also many families that share both countries and even right now during the pandemic having family has been a legit reason to cross the border even if tourism isn't allowed.

Lots of Russians have summer houses here and commonly spend weekends and longer vacations here.

Because of the visa requirement tourism to Russia from here isn't as common as to many other countries, but there are trains that connect Helsinki and St Petersburg and Moscow. For example the train to St Petersburg only takes about 3.5 hours, which is roughly the same time it takes me to go visit my parents in Central Finland. It's so close, but because of the visa requirement sadly not visited by that many.

What is the best thing you like about your country?

Hmm. That's a difficult question!

I think what I like the most is safety and stability.

The general infrastructure works, we have universal health care, social welfare and free education, wealth is distributed quite evenly, little natural hazards, clean environment etc. It's not to say that we don't have problems and that things couldn't be improved upon, but as a whole I think the country is doing pretty well.

I also like the long summer days, lakes, cold and sunny winter days when the snow glistens, triple glazed windows, licorice being a normal thing and readily available, our chocolate is top notch, I like that it's normal to forage plants, berries and mushrooms, freedom to roam, good cleaning products, being able to be quiet in a group without it being uncomfortable...

But let's stick with safety and stability, those other feel a little too frivolous to be what I like the best.

 

[twister947]

I love this kind of information! Thanks, Seela.

 

[seela]

I love this kind of information! Thanks, Seela.

You’re very welcome! Thanks for the questions.

 

[gracie920101]

At some point, I think you mentioned you rooted for the Montgomery Biscuits.

What other American teams do you cheer on and why?

 

[seela]

At some point, I think you mentioned you rooted for the Montgomery Biscuits.

What other American teams do you cheer on and why?

Oh boy, how long do you have?

I'm really not sure I root for the Biscuits. I have no clue if they're a good team or not, or how they've done this season or in past, I wouldn't be able to name a single player. I just really love their biscuit logo and the name of the team. The biscuit with a pat of butter in his mouth just makes me smile.

Mascots, cool names and fun merch are the reasons I like American teams. So much more entertaining than what we have here! I have lots of teams that I like because of their name/mascot/merch. Like Milwaukee Milkmen (just... udderly good), Rocket City Trash Pandas (what a name!), Las Vegas Aviators (the aviator head logo is just so sleek, stylish and cool, love it!)...

The only team I cheer on is Chicago Cubs, because it's the only baseball team I've seen play a home game and I like baseball. Easy to choose. I wouldn't call myself a die hard fan, but I probably know a fair bit more about them than an average Finn does - not that it sets the bar very high at all.

I also kinda cheer on Chicago Dogs, but mostly because they have a fun name and apparently all you can eat hot dog days at their stadium based on their twitter feed. I found the team on twitter, tweeted at them and they were like omg someone in Finland knows us and sent me a card (signed by their mascot ) and a victory flag, so how could I not root for them. They have a clever logo too, the round one with the baseball and hot dog and the stars.

So, in general I like baseball, which people are always surprised to learn. It's a fun little game, hot dogs and beer are a significant aspect of it, there are mascots and cool merch involved and keeping score is a bit of a mental exercise for me. That's pretty much checks everything off my list of things that matter to me in sports. There are also so many baseball clues in NYT crosswords, so liking baseball is helpful in that regard as well.

I tried to watch football, didn't understand it, but I did like the flair and drama of dropping the scarf rather than just very boringly waving a card around like they do in soccer. They seem to say incomplete a lot. Down is a football word, and scrimmage and statue of liberty. That's the full extent of my football knowledge. I was also very surprised (and disappointed) that the players weren't wearing these absolutely gigantic shoulder pads they did in the 90s teen movies and series I remember watching.