AMA - seela

[seela]

What would be your go to place for alone time and serenity?

Can you dance?

What is your favorite destressing drink?

I love being home alone, so that would be my first choice. I used to get regular alone time home but corona has fucked that up and I miss it a lot. I also love being alone in a foreign city and feel free to do absolutely anything, but I can't to that either these days.

I think at the moment my best relaxation and serenity spot is the forest. Going mushroom picking is good for my soul. It keeps me walking, it's quiet in the forest, pretty sounds and sights, it feels amazing to find a good mushroom spot or to score a mushroom I don't find so often... It's good stuff.

I can't dance at all. At. All.

Destressing drink. Hmm. I don't think I have any drink I would call that. I like beer and whisky and gin. Alcohol in general is good, but I'm not a huge fan of cocktails. But I don't really associate any drink with destressing. I associate cleaning with destressing.

 

[seela]

I definitely agree that unaddressed imbalances in compensation can lead to disharmony. You put that so beautifully. That makes me wonder what I need to address in my relationships and friendships.

Seela, I can't remember if I've asked, but do you have any guilty pleasures?

Meeks asked about guilty pleasure tv/movies at least.

I don't think I have a guilty pleasure. At least I don't feel particularly guilty about any of them.

I buy more alphabet candy (gummy candies with letters on them) than an adult should, but I call it research. They incorporated letters from the Cyrillic and Arabic alphabet recently, so it's another learning opportunity for the Arabic script (fact: I brushed up my knowledge of the Arabic script to be able to identify which letter is on each piece of candy).

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

What is one thing about yourself that you would either like to improve or change?

 

[seela]

What is one thing about yourself that you would either like to improve or change?

I would like to be less pessimistic and be able to focus on the positive in things. I think that would cover a lot of ground and potentially make me hate myself a little less than I do now.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

I would like to be less pessimistic and be able to focus on the positive in things. I think that would cover a lot of ground and potentially make me hate myself a little less than I do now.

Although I've never seen you, beautiful soul, why do you hate yourself? Thank you for answering earlier.

 

[Dreamliner]

I would like to be less pessimistic and be able to focus on the positive in things. I think that would cover a lot of ground and potentially make me hate myself a little less than I do now.

Although I've never seen you, beautiful soul, why do you hate yourself? Thank you for answering earlier.

Yes BCC. seela, step back, pessimis/optimist, on balance there is little between [in the middle]. When I wake up in the morning breathing, it is always a great day!

 

[seela]

Although I've never seen you, beautiful soul, why do you hate yourself? Thank you for answering earlier.

I don't know.

Yes BCC. seela, step back, pessimis/optimist, on balance there is little between [in the middle]. When I wake up in the morning breathing, it is always a great day!

I don't think I've ever felt like just waking up meant it's a great day.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I would like to be less pessimistic and be able to focus on the positive in things. I think that would cover a lot of ground and potentially make me hate myself a little less than I do now.

I so completely identify with this. I think I manage to forget it a good bit of the time or maybe it's more that I don't focus on it but it's always there in the background influencing every choice, every decision. I don't even know why. I try to build every person up I see so they never feel that way about themselves.

 

[seela]

I so completely identify with this. I think I manage to forget it a good bit of the time or maybe it's more that I don't focus on it but it's always there in the background influencing every choice, every decision. I don't even know why. I try to build every person up I see so they never feel that way about themselves.

Yeah, this 100%.

 

[Primalex]

You have won the first prize in a science competition and as a reward, Elon Musks engineering teams will build one custom robot for you that excels at one task.

What robot do you order?

 

[seela]

You have won the first prize in a science competition and as a reward, Elon Musks engineering teams will build one custom robot for you that excels at one task.

What robot do you order?

A robot that does my hair to perfection every day and so fast.

I'd totallly want a sex robot, but Elon Musk sends out the wrong kind of creep vibes so I wouldn't trust him or his team to build me a sex robot. Although now that I think of it, maybe the doubt of can I trust the robot would enhance the experience a little.

 

[Dreamliner]

I don't think I've ever felt like just waking up meant it's a great day.

You should seela. Wake up, rain or sunshine, coffee, take 10 minutes in the morning to appreciate the day.

 

[cookiecat]

You should seela. Wake up, rain or sunshine, coffee, take 10 minutes in the morning to appreciate the day.

seela takes time to appreciate the day, here on Lit in the grateful thread.

Everyone's wired differently.

I knew a guy who said as a kid, he wore his tennis shoes to bed because he wanted to wake up, get out of bed and get the day started. I can't imagine. Staying in bed another few minutes always seems like my best option.

People say I can choose happiness. As if it's been a conscious decision I've made to feel an absence of joy. Being aware of my lethargy or insecurity is the first step. Then choosing to wade out of it takes a lot of energy. But I try.

I seem wired for glass half empty. That's why I married Mr. cookie. He was total opposite. Super positive, generally always happy. His glass wasn't half full - it overflowed. I liked that his cheerfulness rubbed off on me.

Anyways. Hijack over.

Do you have any vices?

 

[seela]

You should seela. Wake up, rain or sunshine, coffee, take 10 minutes in the morning to appreciate the day.

I don't think that's for me.

I see little things every day that make me happy and I appreciate. Simply waking up isn't one of them.

 

[seela]

I know you are submissive, sexually, but do you take direction well in other areas of your life? Work? Friends? Family?

I think I do.

I'm the type who likes to give suggestions if I see something is done in a way I think could be improved upon, but if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, I have no problem with it. I don't like to be the one making the plans and decisions.

I'm a people pleaser and avoid confrontation, so in my friendships and family relations it's hard for me to imagine not being submissive. I think that's one reason why I find it difficult to meet new people and let people close - I want to roll over immediately but I don't think it's ideal, so I put up a facade that isn't really me and gives people a weird idea of who I am. It's a struggle for me.

At work. Hmm. I'm in a position where I have to crack the whip a lot, but I'm also not the boss. It can be a tricky position to be in. My general preference to avoid all kinds of conflicts makes it hard to do that sometimes, it doesn't come naturally, but I think I'm pretty good at it.

 

[seela]

seela takes time to appreciate the day, here on Lit in the grateful thread.

Everyone's wired differently.

I knew a guy who said as a kid, he wore his tennis shoes to bed because he wanted to wake up, get out of bed and get the day started. I can't imagine. Staying in bed another few minutes always seems like my best option.

People say I can choose happiness. As if it's been a conscious decision I've made to feel an absence of joy. Being aware of my lethargy or insecurity is the first step. Then choosing to wade out of it takes a lot of energy. But I try.

I seem wired for glass half empty. That's why I married Mr. cookie. He was total opposite. Super positive, generally always happy. His glass wasn't half full - it overflowed. I liked that his cheerfulness rubbed off on me.

Anyways. Hijack over.

Do you have any vices?

I feel what you wrote about being wired for glass half empty. I'm absolutely the same. My closest colleague is a glass almost totally empty kind of person and always thinking about gloomy, doomy things that might go wrong with whatever it is that we're doing. It can be draining sometimes to listen to that all the time, especially if things aren't going optimally but are still very far from the gloom and doom she imagines. So I've started to think more about when, where and to whom to show my inner demons. I don't want my negativity to be too much of a burden to people. It's a new situation for me to be the more optimistic one for sure.


And vices. Gluttony for sure. And I'm really lazy.

I think one reason why submission works for me is because I'm lazy. When I submit I have an external motivation to do things, I'm less lazy when I have someone to do things for. I'm awful at doing things for myself, excellent at doing things for others.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

What is something or someone to have positively impacted you yesterday, specifically?

Is there a movie you are anxious about getting to see? (Doesn't matter whether it's streaming online or at the movie theater)

 

[seela]

What is something or someone to have positively impacted you yesterday, specifically?

Is there a movie you are anxious about getting to see? (Doesn't matter whether it's streaming online or at the movie theater)

I like your questions!

The first one is hard because yesterday was such a great day that it's difficult to pick just one thing or person or even just a couple!

The biggest thing that impacted my life positively yesterday was that the huge work project reached the first mile stone and did so on time. It's such a load off my shoulders and it means no more working 60+ hour weeks!

I also took a walk during lunch and went mushroom picking after work (I even left work early, yay!) and both of those things were very good and positive for my mental state.

For the movie question, I don't have anything I'm looking forward to seeing right now. I had one that I knew I absolutely want to see, and I saw it a while back already. It was a local movie so no one on Lit will ever see it.

 

[cookiecat]

Do you do your own nails or get a manicure?

 

[seela]

Do you do your own nails or get a manicure?

I do my own, but in the most rudimentary sense.

I basically just put on nail polish and that's that. I skip the other parts which go into doing your nails... It shows.

I've never had a manicure, but I've been thinking about getting one. It feels scary to me, and sometimes scary is good to overcome. It's me being the center of it all which makes me uncomfortable, it's "prettying" myself, it's letting someone do something for me... It feels vulnerable and uncomfortable.

Pedicures though, that's an unimaginable thing. I can't imagine letting someone touch my feet that I don't know and trust through and through.

I seem to answer a lot of questions that weren't even asked.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

What is something about yourself that you like that most don't notice?

What color looks best on you?

 

[seela]

What is something about yourself that you like that most don't notice?

What color looks best on you?

Oh, difficult questions.

I like my language skills. Most people have no clue about it, because it rarely comes up in real life. Can that be the answer? Feels like a cop out, but questions about liking myself are so difficult...

Okay, I like it about myself that I do little things for others that go unnoticed or they never know it was me who did it, but it still makes their lives a little easier. When I go wash my mug at work, I always wash all the other dishes that are in the sink as well. If I eat at a place where they ask you to return the dishes somewhere after eating, I always do and usually return someone else's dishes as well that haven't been returned. I always put a new roll of toilet paper ready to go if I use up one in a public bathroom. That's a stupid answer too. Hard question.

And the color that looks best on me is equally hard. I don't know. I've never understood colors. I know some shades of yellow make me look even more pale than I am, but I have no clue what looks good or best or even good on me. If I like the color myself, it's generally good enough for me.

Someone who's seen me and has an opinion, please chime in! I'm curious.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

Can you speak any other languages?
If not, which one(s) would you like to learn?

 

[seela]

Can you speak any other languages?
If not, which one(s) would you like to learn?

I speak a few other languages, yes. I've studied 20+ languages - some for 10 years in school (English), some for less than a year on my own (Welsh). I can speak around 4 languages pretty comfortably, I can get by in several more.

I'm really into Welsh right now, so I'd like to learn that a lot better. Of languages I've never studied, Georgian is high on the list as well as Icelandic, Quechuan and Amharic.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

I speak a few other languages, yes. I've studied 20+ languages - some for 10 years in school (English), some for less than a year on my own (Welsh). I can speak around 4 languages pretty comfortably, I can get by in several more.

I'm really into Welsh right now, so I'd like to learn that a lot better. Of languages I've never studied, Georgian is high on the list as well as Icelandic, Quechuan and Amharic.

Wow...I feel a little lazy with the little Spanish I know. I would like to know more of Italian, French and I've thought about Mandarin.