Anal sex, reality v pornography depiction

[HampshireBoy]

This is my wife's preference for starting. Once she gets fully into it, we switch to other positions. She finds spooning most comfortable for the initial penetration.

This was exactly my experience with a FWB, who was the first woman I successfully fucked in the arse. We were spooning, she positioned my cock and told me to push gently, after some resistance I slipped in easy. She really enjoyed the difference and it became a regular thing, often spoon fuck first then change position. As to mess, we had my semen flow out of her bum afterwards mixed with faecal matter and make a mess a couple of times but that was it. She did normally feel the need to go the toilet pretty soon afterwards.

 

[BlueChamisa]

Somewhat to my surprise, given the number of women (and some men) I’ve been with, I’ve only had anal sex with my wife of almost 30 years (I was always interested in anal, but thanks to childhood conditioning I believed ALL my sexual desires were terrible and women only “put up” with sex because they have to; no surprise I never asked).

My wife loves it, and comes especially hard with my cock in her ass and a big dildo in her pussy while using a vibe (on her stomach). But we only do maybe 4-5 times a year because, as she says, “it’s a production.”

Going slow and gradually, using tons of lube (I’m 7 inches long and almost 6 1/2 inches in girth) and ALWAYS going at her pace, according to what she needs and wants.

Almost always, by the time she’s reaching orgasm, she really WANTS me to go hard, as in (mostly boring, phony and misogynistic) anal porn, and by the time I’m coming, it’s a wild ride.

I would love her to peg me. But she says “it’s too violent”?!? She will use dildos by hand, but I still crave being fucked by her (and at some point, a man … working on it).

 

[KentBloke63]

I love anal sex!!! When it’s done right it’s incredible… lots of lube and take your time initially then fuck it hard and deep for me!!!

I love a DP with dildos and would love one for real

My ex wife, the same. Once she’d relaxed into it, bang as hard and as fast as possible..

 

[TonyF862]

I don't know why everyone keeps mentioning the mess and the pain. If there is a mess and pain, you are doing something wrong. I have been fucked in the ass by my gf many times and there is a little discomfort at the beginning but no pain. Never any mess either.

Do you have a specific way you prep?

 

[BillyWalrus]

Do you have a specific way you prep?

Most of the time I am very clean so I don't need to do anything at all. She puts a little lube on her cock and shoves it in.

The few times where I feel I might not be, I use a bulb syringe to shoot some water up my ass. That will usually clean anything out that is up there. If necessary I repeat the process until the water comes back out clean.

 

[TonyF862]

Most of the time I am very clean so I don't need to do anything at all. She puts a little lube on her cock and shoves it in.

The few times where I feel I might not be, I use a bulb syringe to shoot some water up my ass. That will usually clean anything out that is up there. If necessary I repeat the process until the water comes back out clean.

I think some/many of us find we are not clean “most of the time” and require much more prep.

I have yet to find the exact timing. I’ve tried the technique you described (this seems to to help for sure , but can just make me feel bloated, and can often lead to additional BM’s). I’ve fried high fiber the day before, etc.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I think some/many of us find we are not clean “most of the time” and require much more prep.

I have yet to find the exact timing. I’ve tried the technique you described (this seems to to help for sure , but can just make me feel bloated, and can often lead to additional BM’s). I’ve fried high fiber the day before, etc.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7318623/

 

[JT1999]

It always feels like a lot of effort but I enjoy it on the odd occasion we do it. I need the bullet vibe though. It was always one of those things I didn't want to try, then after seeing it in porn and hearing about other people enjoying it I thought I'd like to at least see what the fuss was about. Normal PIV sex is better.

 

[KinkStevens]

Gotta love a good butt fuck.

 

[Bonnie_Does]

Once the head gets past the sphincter it's OMG!!

 

[DaddyLovesKitten]

I've often wondered whether the way sex acts in porn reflect any form of reality.
I find anal a particularly interesting subject, as a heterosexual man who has been with quite a few more than 100 women, I've only ever been with 3 who genuinely enjoyed anal intercourse (for one lady it was second only to giving head as her favorite).

What are the experiences of others?

Great topic and question.

Most of them women I had been with, had bad experiences prior, or never tried it. So I was (often) their first time, often their first GOOD time.

Most of them gave me a chance, especially after the first year or so of having sex with them, where they understood I would be a competent partner who listens and never hurts or abuses.

Anyone who asked me for anal sex, asked me multiple times, because even our first time was great for her.

Because anything I'd do with my lady, I'd make sure doesn't hurt or isn't gross. I've used dildos on myself, I know what doesn't work and what hurts, I know you want to prepare in advance.

I know you have to be in the mood.

I know the mood strikes, for some people, once or twice a year at best. That's fine.

If you gotta have daily anal sex, maybe find the right submissive gay guy, who agrees to it, because even then, the stereotype is that they're having nothing but anal sex but from what I hear, it's oral and the anal nights aren't as frequent as you'd think.

For me, I am available as a fun partner for that activity.

She has to REALLY be into it for me to come close to cumming, but it's still very hot, very intimate, very erotic, and you can really build trust and explore being dom/sub if that's your kink.

I find what you see on internet porn unrealistic, these are women who basically blow out their intestines daily and use lots of enemas and professionally stick things in their ass. So, they're not feeling much, and they can take big toys, and, they are faking all their sensations for the most part.

Real women usually feel like a single finger in there, even when asked for, feels tight.

So an actual cock, twice that thickness and longer, is a bit much, until she's relaxed and mentally prepared and physically prepared.

So.

If you're a partner that wants to try this, male or female.

Let your partner know

1. the person taking the object in their ass is IN CHARGE THE ENTIRE TIME
2. Fair warning a day in advance, the person taking the object should decide when. They can plan their meals and cleaning up before hand. It's a lot of prep work for some folks, if you want to avoid risks.
3. The person taking the object in their ass controls when penetration happens, and, how much of it to take, and how slowly.
4. they control depth of penetration, speed, force, everything. Let them play on the object in question, bouncing on it, getting used to it. Let them fuck you, not the other way around.

When they realize this can be fun.
If THEY think this is hot as hell, which it can be.
If THEY think this builds trust and intimacy and want to do it again.
AND you also do

Keep at it.

Eventually, your partner will be telling you to fuck them harder, faster, deeper.

Listen to your partner but increase any of those things very incrementally.

I was with an older woman who had a medical condition where vaginal sex was painful. She and I had anal and oral, always.

She introduced me to anal. She guided me in.

She was used to this, and got off on it, and loved the intimacy, and enjoyed being fucked by a man, because she's straight, and if she could have, would have had me in her pussy.

but

she played with her clit with a vibe and her fingers.
She experienced penetration and was able to take it fairly fast, all the way deep, and to completion for me.

She was the only one. So that's rare.

I'm only 6 inches long and maybe just under 2 inches wide at most.

Often times, she has bigger dildos than me, but, also, sometimes has smaller.

I'm the right size and the right temperament.

If you have a big big dick, no experience, and think you're going to fuck someone the first time and cum, you're probably doing it very wrong.
Your partner will feel pain, and also, feel like you're not concerned for her pain.

If that's your deal, do fingers and toys, play with her for a long time. Have her practice on plugs and dildos for like 6 months.

When she's regularly using a dildo bigger than your penis, now you can talk about this.

Don't even think about it before then.

Here's why-

Imagine the thing your partner needed to do, besides have normal sex with you, is shove a metal rod in your urethra. Your pee hole, gentlemen.

This is an actual kink and fetish for some couples.

Ok.

Do you want her to start with no lube and the largest thickest metal pole, shoved in as roughly and deeply as possible, without concern for you?

NO?????

Why not?

It's really hot for her, though.

What about your feelings?
Exactly.

You doing this with her, is like her shoving a metal rod in your penis.

Imagine the bravery and trust she has, to even ENTERTAIN the idea.

Be grateful.

be smart.

Be gentle.

Make sure SHE is feeling okay the entire time.

You'd wish NOTHING LESS for yourself in that situation.

Don't believe me, have her fuck you a strapon. I experienced that.

Want a really big one, by surprise, with no lube? OOOPS?

Yeah now you know why it's wrong. You should have figured that out on your own, but happy to help.

DaddyLovesKitten has had anal sex many times, with several women.

But Daddy LOVES Kitten, so she had a good time.

If you were to have stuff jammed in your pee hole or ass hole, imagine what your partner would have to do for you to even consider seeing her again after.

The answer is, that's how you need to treat your lady love.

With THAT much care and respect.

Whatever you do to her body, you should be willing to feel yourself.

If not, probably don't do it.