ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Blue]

New nurse and I hit it off amazingly. i think there is a chance we might actually become ...friends.

Yay
Just hope that he/she isn't an Angel of Mercy...

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cookiecat]

Well, I am pretty happy right now. I really can think of worse than to go out on a upward trend in life.

( edit these were meant to be in what made me smile)

I was wondering if you'd gotten some interesting PM from a nurse!?

 

[HisArpy]

I'm still puzzling over how she sits in his laugh.

Think about it. I'm sure you'll figure it out in a chuckle of seconds.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[shescurious11]

I recently added a profile picture after I hit 100 posts. So, then I got this PM:

"I could definitely jerk to those"

uh.... rolley eyes

 

[Farawyn]

I recently added a profile picture after I hit 100 posts. So, then I got this PM:

"I could definitely jerk to those"

uh.... rolley eyes

Beautiful AV.

 

[shescurious11]

Beautiful AV.

Thank you Farawyn. Your picture in your profile is lovely.

 

[Farawyn]

Thank you Farawyn. Your picture in your profile is lovely.

*curtsies*

 

[cascadiabound]

Wall of text

without so much as a hello how are you? this is the first PM I have ever rec'd from this Litster, nor have I ever seen him on the boards....

excerpted so as to not give him more attention for his poorly formulated scenario that was not even interesting. Ugh.

"One day i saw my sister crying and tried to comfort her. She eventually told me she broke up with her daddy that she had been seeing secretly....She left in humiliation but realized the dildo was designed to stimulate as the wearer moved and she was having trouble walking home as her legs shake from the pleasure."

I mean really? WTF does such a person want?

deleted and blocked.
ugh. ugh. ugh.

 

[Eva_Star]

without so much as a hello how are you? this is the first PM I have ever rec'd from this Litster, nor have I ever seen him on the boards....

excerpted so as to not give him more attention for his poorly formulated scenario that was not even interesting. Ugh.



I mean really? WTF does such a person want?

deleted and blocked.
ugh. ugh. ugh.

*puzzled*

These sort of PMs always confuse me. I wonder if this litster is writing a story and wants to see if someone will react positively to the scenario?? So weird.

 

[cookiecat]

I told my wheelchair message guy I was not in a wheelchair. His reply: Kool.

??

 

[cascadiabound]

*puzzled*

These sort of PMs always confuse me. I wonder if this litster is writing a story and wants to see if someone will react positively to the scenario?? So weird.

I know. really weird. *shakes head*

 

[MeekMe]

without so much as a hello how are you? this is the first PM I have ever rec'd from this Litster, nor have I ever seen him on the boards....

excerpted so as to not give him more attention for his poorly formulated scenario that was not even interesting. Ugh.



I mean really? WTF does such a person want?

deleted and blocked.
ugh. ugh. ugh.

Give him credit, he typed with one hand. The incest ones seem to be the pushiest, IMO.

 

[RawHumor]

I once saw a meme that said (paraphrasing), with all of the free internet porn out there, telling a girl that you jerk off to pictures of her is the ultimate compliment.

Um, yeah, especially when you're complete strangers or you're a stalker/creeper type.

You should all feel flattered, doncha know.

 

[cascadiabound]

Give him credit, he typed with one hand. The incest ones seem to be the pushiest, IMO.

typing with one hand explains the plethora of typos.

I was just betting he sent the same wall of text to *all* of the gals that post on the daddy's thread... "Bueller? Bueller????

 

[KimGordon67]

Give him credit, he typed with one hand. The incest ones seem to be the pushiest, IMO.

I blame the parenting.

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

Thought this might be worth posting here.

Sorry for the size of the image, the conversation was kinda long. The chatbox near the top was just a convo I was having with my friend. I kept getting interrupted while her and I were trying to edit some of her story, so she had to endure it as well.

 

[Blue]

Thought this might be worth posting here.

Sorry for the size of the image, the conversation was kinda long. The chatbox near the top was just a convo I was having with my friend. I kept getting interrupted while her and I were trying to edit some of her story, so she had to endure it as well.

This is easily the most horrific PM I've ever known of somebody receiving! His utter ineptitude at basic geographic strategy is absolutely sickening!

Clearly the creek north of the fort can't be used as access because even if the fates are kind and it is drained enough to send brigades over safely, they would still be travelling up a presumably steep hill to enter the fort through the left flank, and tired men having to aim upwards at their enemy, especially an entrenched one as shown on the map, is practically kill boxes 101. Utter failure. Off the table.

Attacking the front (The Fort) is a material waste because even if the cannons blew a hole large enough in the wall to enter through it would require spilling hundreds of men through per minute so that the confederates can be engaged fast enough to prevent them just constantly firing volleys at everybody who entered. Which itself presumes intense melee which results in massive casualties on both sides. And this all presumes that they don't just march backwards a hundred meters to cut off the option of melee and simply just fire volleys at anything that comes through the hole! Either way it would be an entirely ineffective stalemate. AND it presumes that the fort is actually a wall and not a bulwark, in which case cannons would be entirely ineffective.

So you put the marsh off the table very quickly because it would slow down the men and put them in more dangerous a predicament. In actuality I think that it would present the least geographically hindering option since the men would only have to travel maybe one-half a mile through it, minutes at best, the terrain is level with their position and the treeline would make for somewhat effective cover in comparison to their position on an open road and field.

Really this scenario presents no golden opportunity and a protracted siege is off the table if what you say about the ineffective supply line in true. So the best option is to go with the option that offers the shortest time to complete relative to projected losses. The scenario offers a potential attack from 3 options. One is directly against a zigzagged fort with 6 cannons embedded on it, one is by men in damp clothes uphill against an entrenchment and one is through a wooded marsh opening onto an open road. None can make effective use of the artillery. If you were a soldier, which would you pick?

~ ~ ~ Edit ~ ~ ~

Earthern* bulwark circled.

The earth prevents conventional artillery (that is, cannons rather than howitzers, mortars, rockets, gas balloons, etc) making any dents.

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

This is easily the most horrific PM I've ever known of somebody receiving! His utter ineptitude at basic geographic strategy is absolutely sickening!

Clearly the creek north of the fort can't be used as access because even if the fates are kind and it is drained enough to send brigades over safely, they would still be travelling up a presumably steep hill to enter the fort through the left flank, and tired men having to aim upwards at their enemy, especially an entrenched one as shown on the map, is practically kill boxes 101. Utter failure. Off the table.

Attacking the front (The Fort) is a material waste because even if the cannons blew a hole large enough in the wall to enter through it would require spilling hundreds of men through per minute so that the confederates can be engaged fast enough to prevent them just constantly firing volleys at everybody who entered. Which itself presumes intense melee which results in massive casualties on both sides. And this all presumes that they don't just march backwards a hundred meters to cut off the option of melee and simply just fire volleys at anything that comes through the hole! Either way it would be an entirely ineffective stalemate. AND it presumes that the fort is actually a wall and not a bulwark, in which case cannons would be entirely ineffective.

So you put the marsh off the table very quickly because it would slow down the men and put them in more dangerous a predicament. In actuality I think that it would present the least geographically hindering option since the men would only have to travel maybe one-half a mile through it, minutes at best, the terrain is level with their position and the treeline would make for somewhat effective cover in comparison to their position on an open road and field.

Really this scenario presents no golden opportunity and a protracted siege is off the table if what you say about the ineffective supply line in true. So the best option is to go with the option that offers the shortest time to complete relative to projected losses. The scenario offers a potential attack from 3 options. One is directly against a zigzagged fort with 6 cannons embedded on it, one is by men in damp clothes uphill against an entrenchment and one is through a wooded marsh opening onto an open road. None can make effective use of the artillery. If you were a soldier, which would you pick?

~ ~ ~ Edit ~ ~ ~

Earthern* bulwark circled.

The earth prevents conventional artillery (that is, cannons rather than howitzers, mortars, rockets, gas balloons, etc) making any dents.

I guess the third option would be best. It poses it's own threats, though. The water may not be shallow. The land on the other side of the river might be unstable and we might end up wading through waist-deep muck. That can cause equipment failure if things get too waterlogged, so it isn't just damp clothes that we have to worry about. But I guess that would be the only viable option considering the circumstances. Too bad you weren't there when he was making terrible decisions.

You're adorable.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[ElsieElsewhere]

he is also infuriating I think

Elsie, you seem nice too

Elle

 

[pete]

he is also infuriating I think

Elsie, you seem nice too

Elle

meh, she's ok

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]