At what point did you recognize your kink?

[dirtynastygirl2]

Found my niche

I didn't recognize it then but I did kinky things with my Barbie's. I stole my Dad's porn and read it. All my fantasies were of rape, humiliation and objectification from at least 12 years on and possibly earlier.

Fury

I couldn't believe it when I read this. I was the same only it started around age 9. My brother caught me with the barbie doll in my masterbation frenzy at age 12. I never told people about it and am just now exploring my rape, humiliation and objectification fantasies. I am also getting into being dom with some men. I found where I belong. Hooray!

 

[FurryFury]

I couldn't believe it when I read this. I was the same only it started around age 9. My brother caught me with the barbie doll in my masterbation frenzy at age 12. I never told people about it and am just now exploring my rape, humiliation and objectification fantasies. I am also getting into being dom with some men. I found where I belong. Hooray!

Good for you!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[Private_Label]

It's hard to say for me.

Was it the bodice rippers that my grandmother gave me to read when I was a pre-teen and reading many, many books a week? Was it the science fiction literature of the 60's and 70's that sometimes had a sexual theme to them?
My mother claims that she always desired to be a wife and a mother - could this subservience streak I have be a genetic predisposition?

It came about several years ago after meeting friend of a mutual friend who was in town for a visit. He was about to take a long move. During the move we chatted on line every night and continued it after he started to settle into his new home. Because I had met him in person and we had chatted a while on line before I met him, when he wanted to play a bit, I was thrilled. Based on some of that play, and some of the discussions we had that the play generated I started looking into D/s.

I don't know that I can say I am 100% bottom/sub/slave or switch, but I am fairly certain that I am not a Dominant, even though I would like to be the one in control of the scene occasionally. My persoanl tastes are more toward the vanilla end of the spectrum now, but I can see that there are places I may one day take up even if I don't find them appealing currently.

The really defining moment came after I had started my investigations and went and did something slightly potentially humiliating in that someone other than the shop keeper would know I desired to purchase certain toys, and then told him about it. I don't remember ever beeing that aroused and that much in need of constant sex. It took some time for me to come down off that one. That was a couple years into my explorations into D/s and thinking I was slightly subby.

 

[Dilbo]

First "kink" I have started a few years ago when I saw my older sis and her girlfriend naked together when they were about 15, on her bed in the same room with me as I feigned sleep. About 2 years later, she and I shared a room in another house, and I saw her repeatedly naked when she came home after sessions with her fiance. I had lusted after her body ever since. At my wedding, she admitted to me that, in spite of her marriage, she had always been excited by my interest in her since that time with her girlfriend on her bed. We ducked into a vacant room and did the deed at last.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I'm not really sure when I learned I was different, so to speak, but from a very young age I knew I preferred being taken control of. Masturbatory fantasies and the like. It progressed from there...

 

[SpectreT]

I've always been different. Kinks have jack shit to do with that, however. Having an almost frighteningly intuitive grasp of language and mechanical reasoning had everything to do with it. Made me a complete outcast for my entire school life.

Of course, I've always had "more kinks than a corkscrew", as someone once said, so I don't really know how to answer the original question. Kinks were just one way I was different, part of a whole mess of things, so I never considered them separately, and didn't have fancy names or labels for any of them until the 'net came along, with its neat categories and such....

So, as far as I'm concerned, I never had to "recognize my kink". It's always been there.

 

[myinnerslut]

i knew i was a masochist, from about 7.... i knew i was submissive, without knowing the term for it, when i was about 11... i found out about BDSM and said "ohhh! thats where i belong" at about 17

 

[BiBunny]

i knew i was a masochist, from about 7.... i knew i was submissive, without knowing the term for it, when i was about 11... i found out about BDSM and said "ohhh! thats where i belong" at about 17

I was on pretty much the same time frame as you, myinnerslut. Amazing how you can look back on things that didn't seem to have too much significance at the time and find all kinds of significance now, isn't it?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Makes me wonder........

hmmn better not claim medical play from birth .....smiles

 

[be_ignited]

It started for me when I was pretty young. I remember being little and liking chasing games, being "captured" and whatnot. I was lucky enough to have fairly unrestricted access to the internet when I was young and parents who couldn't work AOL to save their lives (watched enough dateline specials to keep myself safe) where I started perusing chatrooms and sites much like lit. I was terrified by my kinks, afriad that they made me "weird." My boyfriends when I was younger had a hell of a time getting me to even hint at some of my fantasies. It's a shame really, because looking back i can say with some certainty that at least one of them would definitely have been into playing out some D/s fantasies of mine.

 

[neonflux]

Oh my Goddess!!! Not one but two other Barbie stories!

And I thought I was the only one

Just remembered this the other day... When I was 9 or 10 (and probably just beginning puberty, I started playing "Man from Uncle" games (for those of you who are too young to know, suggest you might want to look it up as it was very campy, not to mention having a wonderfully queer subtext). Anyway, would start by having Ken tie up Barbie and Skipper, then they would escape their bondage and get their revenge by doing the same to Ken. Made my vulva tingle, although I certainly didn't understand the significance of that at the time. Cannot believe that it took me so many years to truly claim my kinky, switch self, LOL.

Neon

I couldn't believe it when I read this. I was the same only it started around age 9. My brother caught me with the barbie doll in my masterbation frenzy at age 12. I never told people about it and am just now exploring my rape, humiliation and objectification fantasies. I am also getting into being dom with some men. I found where I belong. Hooray!

 

[blankcanvas]

at what point did you recognize your kink?

I don't think I recognized it until a girl I dated brought it out. Towards the end of our relationships she kept on pushing my limits further and further. I think she just wanted to see how much she could get me to do. Although it was just as much me allowing her to take me to new places, I was a willing participant, so maybe once I realized she was open I started digging into myself and thinking about what really turned me on.

 

[TheRiverWild]

I'm 41 and just discovering all of this.

I'm not sure where the road will lead, but I sure wish I had a fast car!

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I can remember being interested in stories with submissive undertones as early as six. My first memories of actually acting upon my submissive urges, however, were as an eight or nine year old sneaking off with an older female friend to pretend that we had been kidnapped by pirates/indians/bandits who tied us up and used us for their pleasure. I continued to fantasize and eventually masturbate to scenes similiar to our playtimes through my teens, but it wasn't until I was about twenty-one that I actually started researching BDSM and realized what I was.

 

[Perfect_Trust]

I remember when I was younger my 2 older brothers tying me up & torturing me from an early age, I loved it, made me feel special that they were taking such an interest in me, though I never let them know that incase they stopped.

My best friend & I used to play with barbies, she used to make them rape ken, I used to take my brothers' action men & make them rape barbie. Same best friend then whipped my ass with her riding crop for "being a dirty girl" at age 14, then brought me off with the crop. I returned the favour but preferred being on the receiving end. That was 22 years ago.

 

[John Doe]

I can't give you an exact time and place, but it was shortly after puberty.

 

[submissiveknight]

I really couldn't put a finger on one event! I wrote my Mistress a story titled "a journey into submission." I wanted FHI to know from the very first time that I could remember, any and all sexual encounters right up to the present moment throughout my life. She found it very informative. It was probally one of the hardest things I've ever revealed to someone in my entire life! It was interesting how I could relate my sexual activity thru my life into how I became a submissive. As far as how We realized D/s in Our marriage? Was after alot of reading and researching it gave Us a stark realization that We were already living the lifestyle of D/s without even knowing it. She has dominated me since the very first day that We met! Basically the only difference in Our marriage now that She has collard me is Her use of corperal punishment.

 

[sharezade]

Thanx for making me think.....

I guess my earliest memory that could indicate submission was a boy who used to torment me in 2nd grade. He would always push me down and make me tear my tights and cry. Then one day another boy was picking on me and he came to my defense...and I was in love.

Oh wait....now I'm remembering my first "wedding" in preschool...3 boys had a fight over who would marry me. I don't ever recall having a preference in that battle, but being quite satisfied to "marry" the winner.

As the only girl on a boys wrestling team (dad was the coach), I hated and deliberately hurt the boys who couldn't/wouldn't beat me. I know I always liked the boys who were "mean" to me and took charge of the relationship. Were it not for my feminazi mother, I'm sure I'd have wandered into a "butt whoopin (not the good kind)" or two.

My first exposure to BDSM was at 10 when I found the book "Topless Swingers" at a babysitters. I read the whole book and was appalled at the violence, but couldn't put it down. I didn't even understand most of the words, but drew their meanings from context. The only porn I found stimulating was of the "naked and helpless" sort. I always knew the sexual torture stories made me tingle, and I'd read rape scenes a hundred times. As an adult, the only time I enjoyed sex was when it was "taken". Guys that submitted to me were immediately crossed off of my "to do" list.

Funny, I never thought my tastes were strange, only different and private.

In my mid 30's I moved to the suburbs and got a computer. I discovered AOL chatrooms, and wandered into the Michigan SubFem chat, expecting discussions on life in the suburbs for Michigan females.

Surprise...surprise! Needless to say, I was home.

 

[Lurnk]

While reading through this thread, I began thinking about my experiences with Barbie dolls and romance novels and found them pretty tame. As far as the books go, who doesn't skip ahead to juicy parts?

Then I remembered my Betty Boop doll (I've still got a thing for her). With some leather pieces I found, maybe from some old belts, I tied her hands behind her back then tied her feet together. I then blindfolded her and hung her from a light fixture on the ceiling. I watched thrilled as she swung. I loved how the straps looked on her. I was in my late teens or early twenties without any concrete knowledge of the implications of this or any real knowledge of sex--it never crossed my mind to explore it online.

There's also a conversation I had with a lover in a which I mentioned my desire to pretty much hurt him while we had sex. The idea of using razor blades and salt particularly struck my fancy. I fantasized about hitting him, slapping him and punching him in the face as we fucked. It turned me on imagining his face, watching as he trembled, struggled to hold back any sort of reaction. Now, he was a good guy; I didn't harbor any hostile feelings toward him (none that I know of anyway), I just wanted to do these things with him. Unfortunately, though, neither idea appealed to him. Ah, well.




Lurnk.

 

[onyxvixen]

Well, I've always been pretty assertive. I was the only black girl in a school of 1500 white girls so I got used to sticking out like a sore thumb and attracting attention (often negative) wherever I went. This made me brusque and highly selective of my friends. I would even behave badly toward them as a 'test' to see if they would remain loyal.

I didn't develop a sexual kink though until my late teens when my girlfriend at the time told me about her submissive desires. I experimented with domination as a result and never looked back. I couldn't imagine a relationship without it now. It feeds a part of my soul that would otherwise make me a twisted, bitter person. I acknowledge that because I control it.

 

[neonflux]

In addition to Barbie Dolls at age 9/10...

Just remembered something else when I was playing with my friend/BDSM partner last night...

I had sex for the 1st time at age 16. My first fantasies after were of raking my nails over my lover's back so strongly that I drew blood... Thought about it for years before ever acting on my more kinky impulses. This was not because I was ashamed of them or thought that they were in any way bad, so I'm not sure what took me so long.

 

[rexfelis]

I think I discovered it when I managed to attract a rather extreme pain slut submissive. I'd never met anyone like her, and while it appealed to me on some things, she was so extreme that it scared me too. But it really sparked my interest in dominance and sadism.

Before that, I'd been mostly submissive, and mostly because I'd learned as a child that being weak, pitiful and helpless is a good way to avoid punishment. I tried to submit to a couple women, but they didn't understand what I was trying to offer them.

Interestingly, at that point, I was probably a switch with no experience, but my next relationship was a real struggle between my dominant and submissive sides. In the end, I became significantly dominant in response to being fed up with her always trying to top from the bottom in ways that had nothing to do with BDSM. You know, passive-aggressive "I'll do whatever you want, unless it's not what I want to do" type shit.

Long story short, it pushed me into embracing my dominant side. Then I met my current slave and discovered she is genuinely submissive. The rest is history.

 

[rbijon]

While reading through this thread, I began thinking about my experiences with Barbie dolls and romance novels and found them pretty tame. As far as the books go, who doesn't skip ahead to juicy parts?

Then I remembered my Betty Boop doll (I've still got a thing for her). With some leather pieces I found, maybe from some old belts, I tied her hands behind her back then tied her feet together. I then blindfolded her and hung her from a light fixture on the ceiling. I watched thrilled as she swung. I loved how the straps looked on her. I was in my late teens or early twenties without any concrete knowledge of the implications of this or any real knowledge of sex--it never crossed my mind to explore it online.

There's also a conversation I had with a lover in a which I mentioned my desire to pretty much hurt him while we had sex. The idea of using razor blades and salt particularly struck my fancy. I fantasized about hitting him, slapping him and punching him in the face as we fucked. It turned me on imagining his face, watching as he trembled, struggled to hold back any sort of reaction. Now, he was a good guy; I didn't harbor any hostile feelings toward him (none that I know of anyway), I just wanted to do these things with him. Unfortunately, though, neither idea appealed to him. Ah, well.




Lurnk.

My Mistress smack, punches and pulls my hair when she fucks me!
She also calls me a varity of names....I love it!

 

[neonflux]

Now this is truly scary...

I just got off the phone with my sister, who reminded me of something I did to her when I was 10 - our family had recently come back from Six Flags Over Texas where I bought, of all things - we were each only allowed one souvenir - a bullwhip! I had been practicing with it for a couple of months - actually got pretty good (boi do I wish I had that thing now ).

One day, when our parents weren't home and our Baba (grandmother) was napping, I tied her to the bed and threatened her with it. Apparently brandished it by whipping it over her head. She giggled as she related this to me. While I now remember practicing with the bullwhip in our back yard, still don't remember doing this. I was mortified when she recounted this to me and apologized several times to her - after all, back then she was only 5 years old!

She laughed and then said, "And we wonder why your such a Domme! I've been giggling about it for days, now!" (I really do consider myself to be switch, BTW). Thank the Goddess she forgave me since she's my best friend now!

~ Neon

P.S., There HAS to be something intrinsically perverted about Barbie dolls. My sister, who is a complete sub (a university prof and writer who even works to erase her voice in her poetry) apparently not only made hers do naughty, subby things but "invented" anal sex with them. Although Lurnk, I think that a Betty Boop doll takes the cake

 

[Milkdrops1]

I've had this curiosity since I was a kid..

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