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tn_8tiv said:


Let's see...what kind of prickles does Des want???

Just bend over my knee and let's see if I can get some goosebumps that feel kind of prickly?:p :p :p
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You are such a tease.:p :p :p


And you know just what I like.
 
mmm

Peeking in, checking out the room. Does He now??? Walking out, smiling........Bye
 
I prefer fetish forums to bdsm forums these days, quite honestly, because the former seem more open-minded and accepting of differences and quirks. Maybe that is because the people in a general fetish forum are all so different from one another (foot people talking to T girls talking to balloon guys talking to snuff freaks and so on...) that the need to stake out your own turf is not so extreme as it is in a forum where peoples' interests are much closer. Also, folks in fetish forums are a bit more used to relating to really odd people, very unlike themselves. Anyway, the fetish forums are where I feel I can be myself these days and "let it all hang out."

I used to post a lot in bdsm forums many years ago but stopped doing so when I finally, after a great deal of angst, realized how unproductive it was emotionally for me. I'm posting in this one rather extensively on the request of an old buddy of mine (no names will be supplied so don't even ask), but I feel a little bit bad with every post I make because I expect the very worst to come back at me because that's all I've ever gotten from the bdsm online community in the past: the very worst things that humans can do. This is no reflection on any of you personally, just a reflection of my extensive past experience with forums dealing with this subject. If I didn't have my suportive fetish community to go to, I wouldn't be here at all. My friend would not be able to pay me enough money to take this sort of risk.

I strongly hope that none of you ever has reason to feel the way I do twelve years down the road. :( Maybe you won't if you stay here; this seems, despite the occasional flames, to be a relatively peaceful backwater.
 
Sandia said:

I agree with Lance - it's weird to think people are posting nasty stuff about you on a private website and then coming here and saying you're being childish for mentioning it.
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LOL, this is such common human behavior. I'll tell you a story. On the Stile Project Forum, which uses the same forum software as this one, there's a top secret section that you don't get access to until Post 1000. All the people who make 1k posts (this forum is composed largely of insecure high school kids or slightly order) go into this secret forum and diss the people who can't get into it yet. They say really vicious gossipy things--especially about people who threaten their little babyminds. Going there taught me a lot about hate, paranoia, and the craving of people for cliques and in-groups. Baaaaaaaaa! It's just the herd together instint at work in us, our wunneful wunneful social nature.

If what you are describing is true, it's pretty amusing to see that it happens here, too. It suggests that despite people claiming here that there is no need ever for rudeness, that if one can't let it all hang out here, one will feel compelled to go get nasty someplace else. This sort of phenomenon always makes me feel pretty disgusted. If I'm going to be rude to someone, I'll do it right here and not only that, right to their faces. How cowardly must you be if in here your are Miss or Mr. Total Polite and then have to go to another message board to rave madly about the evil others whom you don't dare confront here. (shaking head sadly) I'm sure that's not all that goes on in that other message board, but its elitist, excluding existence tells me a great deal about this place I hadn't yet figured out on my own (like how everybody was managing to keep such a calm lid on most things, lol).

The puzzle pieces are falling into place.
 
UCE said:


The puzzle pieces are falling into place.
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To my way of thinking, there are two sides, minimum, to the story. (I prefer three) And you are only receiving one side here. Looks that puzzle will only be half finished at that rate.
 
Hi UCE;

I read your last few posts on the subject of online herd mentality with some close interest.

After ten years online and experience in most of the known kink places and types of general boards online, there are two things I find different about this BDSM space:

1. There are far more women than men;

2. It's been far more serious and negative here than elsewhere.

Lance



UCE said:

I used to post a lot in bdsm forums many years ago but stopped doing so when I finally, after a great deal of angst, realized how unproductive it was emotionally for me. .
Click to expand...
 
Lancecastor said:
Hi UCE;

I read your last few posts on the subject of online herd mentality with some close interest.

After ten years online and experience in most of the known kink places and types of general boards online, there are two things I find different about this BDSM space:

1. There are far more women than men;

2. It's been far more serious and negative here than elsewhere.

Lance
Click to expand...

And perhaps it has been....

Isn't far more productive to do something positive for a change, rather than focus on the uglies of the last couple of months.

To clarify for our new friend, many of those that participated in the negativity are no longer here.

So, time to move forward.

Giddy up!

:D
 
UCE

UCE said:


LOL, this is such common human behavior. I'll tell you a story.

The puzzle pieces are falling into place.
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I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know,...I am an avid reader of your posts, (I try to read them all). There are some things that don't interest me,...so I might miss a few,...but not many.

I find your posts well worth reading, and they sometimes cause me to dig DEEP within myself, to find what MY inner truths ARE.

I sense the knowledge and experience behind your statements, even though I haven't always agreed with YOUR insight.

In order to put one more piece of the puzzle on the table, for all to LQQK at, I will say the MAIN problem that this Forum has experienced, IMO, was not the issue of FREE speech.

It was an issue of SOME posters, (collectively), ganging up and TARGETING a *new* person, based SOLELY on the opinion of, ONE of the "pack".

"THAT",...along with poor 'netiquette', contributed to the Forums problem of not having adult discussions on BDSM related TOPICS, and THIS is the "main" difference between our Forum and others.

We try to be TOPIC specific, in our, (BDSM) discussions, and NOT attack others personally, due to having a different opinion,(and/or 'lifestyle).

We also don't want to engage in *fantasy* role playing threads. Lit has OTHER Forums for THAT type of interaction. Literotica has a FULL menu of Forums available to participate in most ANY fashion that one might want.

We don't mind new people coming in and asking questions, nor giving their opinions. On the other hand, we don't wish to develope our Forum to cater to THREAD topics that would be better served, placed in the GENERAL BOARD Forum,...or even another Forum.

This practice of FOCUSING on BDSM related issues, is EXCLUSIONARY to *TOPICS*, but NOT to the INDIVIDUALS. FREE speech is alive and well in our Forum, and ALL are welcome to participate in our discussions.

Dare I say,...WE,...the MAJORITY,...will not allow OUR Forum, it's TOPIC,...nor it's purpose, to be "Hijacked",...as often happens to individual THREADS throughout Literotica.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it. :rose:
 
Re: UCE

artful said:

<snip>
"THAT",...along with poor 'netiquette', contributed to the Forums problem of not having adult discussions on BDSM related TOPICS, and THIS is the "main" difference between our Forum and others.

We try to be TOPIC specific, in our, (BDSM) discussions, and NOT attack others personally, due to having a different opinion,(and/or 'lifestyle).

We also don't want to engage in *fantasy* role playing threads. Lit has OTHER Forums for THAT type of interaction. Literotica has a FULL menu of Forums available to participate in most ANY fashion that one might want.

We don't mind new people coming in and asking questions, nor giving their opinions. On the other hand, we don't wish to develope our Forum to cater to THREAD topics that would be better served, placed in the GENERAL BOARD Forum,...or even another Forum.

This practice of FOCUSING on BDSM related issues, is EXCLUSIONARY to *TOPICS*, but NOT to the INDIVIDUALS. FREE speech is alive and well in our Forum, and ALL are welcome to participate in our discussions.

Dare I say,...WE,...the MAJORITY,...will not allow OUR Forum, it's TOPIC,...nor it's purpose, to be "Hijacked",...as often happens to individual THREADS throughout Literotica.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it. :rose:
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I happen to agree. But you knew I would, didn't you? Good post my friend.
 
Thank you for the post, Artful.
For the first time, this newbie feels like she has a clue about what has been going on around here.


Helena:rose:
 
Goddess Helena said:
Thank you for the post, Artful.
For the first time, this newbie feels like she has a clue about what has been going on around here.


Helena:rose:
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It wasn't pretty. We had major growing pains. I'm hopeful that we can rebuild into a stronger forum as we put the past behind us. To do that, we need new voices such as yours, Helena and Uce. I'm glad you are here.
 
Thank you, Desdemona.
I have seen trolls work their magic and boards go to battle over silliness, but this is all new to me. I'm not going far and will try to be an asset to the family that you have here.


Helena:rose:
 
Goddess Helena said:
Thank you, Desdemona.
I have seen trolls work their magic and boards go to battle over silliness, but this is all new to me. I'm not going far and will try to be an asset to the family that you have here.


Helena:rose:
Click to expand...

:rose: Call me des. You already are an asset.
 
Well said art... I know that some of the past has been personally painful for you and dream...

I am personally glad to see all of us move forward and leave that behind...

I always enjoy your posts!


:rose:
 
MissTaken said:
Hi there....

welcome aboard!

:)

Keep on posting on !
Click to expand...

Thanks Luv.. I mainly hang in Mid-Western and such.. but, I decided to wander over here and check it out
 
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