being Pro Domme

[superlittlegirl]

wax play! one of my favorites!

Oooh, ooh, ooh. Wax play is just about my favorite thing to do. I like doing it to others, I like having it done to me, and I like doing it to myself. I just plain like it. I have a lot of good advice for the first time waxer, such as:

1.Start out with pure white, unscented candles. Dyes and fragrances can elevate the wax's temperature to unpredictable levels.

2.For easy cleanup, start out with a massage that includes a nice smelling oil. It'll get the waxee nice and relaxed, plus, it will prevent the wax from adhering to the skin and tiny hairs.

3.Start high. The further from the body the wax is dripped from, the less intense the sensation will be. As the waxee becomes accustomed, you can drip it from very close, and it feels good, depending on what her tolerance to heat is like.

4.Variety: You can drip, splash, and draw figures with the wax. Keep her guessing as to what's next, and the anticipation heightens immeasurably.

5. Safety: If you drip wax on and it pools in some areas, you can cause burns. The person who is doing the waxing should watch out for this, and just smooth the wax out with the flat of the hand to disperse the heat.

6.Contrast: Keep ice and cool water on hand. In addition to being a safety mechanism for cooling areas down quickly, you can use the ice to create a sense of contrast that will allow you to use lower temperatures of wax with more dramatic results.

7. Removal. A big knife. Yup. That's what I like. It carries a lot of psychological oomph, but it's really quite safe. You can pick out a big ol' knife and have the edge dulled, or you can use a very very sharp one. If you keep the blade parallel to the skin, you can flick and slice the wax off without damaging a hair on the terrified waxee's body. (Don't use this method if you've got a wiggler, though! The ability of the waxee to keep still is paramount.)You can also just pick it off with your fingers, too. This is especially good if you've got long, vampy fingernails. I do not, so I like the knife method.

8. Cleanup: If you spread out a big sheet before you start, it protects the surface beneath from the wax, and when you're done, you can bundle it all up and forget about cleanup till the next day.

9. Experimentation: Once you feel confident with the relatively low temps of the pure paraffin candles, try different colors that appeal to your eye and fragrances that you find arousing or evocative. It's a good idea to be wary of this if you have chemical sensitivities to dyes or fragrances, though.

10. Doing, and being done: As a very switchy girl, I can't emphasise enough the pleasure that lies on both sides of this equation. If you're feeling brave, consider experiencing both. It's lots of fun.

Have fun!

--Freya

 

[lilminx]

I don't have anything to add in terms of Pro Domme-ing, but I would like to add about the wax play. There's an S&M themed restaurant in NYC that I have gone to (actually, a few times with Lit members- lol). Anyway, you can pay for a professional public spanking, and if they really like you, they drip wax on you after you're spanked. I had it done a few times to me there- dripped on my back, and on my chest (I was clothed, so there was only so much they could do). Anyway, it left me wanting more. I loved it- the feeling of it being hot for a millisecond, then warming onto my skin....it was just so sensual. *sigh*....

 

[Guest]

If someone wants to be SUB with a Dominatrix but still has things they think they need to BE sub, how do they get her to do those things and still FEEL like she is in charge and not them?

 

[Pure]

If the sub is getting the domme to do things, then the sub is in charge, generally speaking. Example, being 'naughty' to get a 'punishment' desired, such as a spanking.

To get anyone to appeal to one's fetishes or tastes--dress in pvc, spank, wear crotchless underwear, sing the Star Spangled Banner during sex-- is to be a client in charge (or equivalent), or perhaps an equal, if it's to the person's taste's.

Just my opinion, fwiw.

 

[MzChrista]

If the sub is getting the domme to do things, then the sub is in charge, generally speaking. Example, being 'naughty' to get a 'punishment' desired, such as a spanking.

To get anyone to appeal to one's fetishes or tastes--dress in pvc, spank, wear crotchless underwear, sing the Star Spangled Banner during sex-- is to be a client in charge (or equivalent), or perhaps an equal, if it's to the person's taste's.

Just my opinion, fwiw.

Thats true mostly, but not always. Some guys will pay for the Dommes time and let her do what she wants, but thats mostly with someone whos a regular and they get to know each other.
But if you are new and you see a Domme, you aint likely to get much of a feeling of subbing from it. You might walk out thinking you had a good time but chances are before long you gona be thinking the experience wasnt what you hoped it to be.

 

[Guest]

PS by "Pure"

The "sub" helping the so called dom/me to 'feel' in charge, is of course the one in charge.

J
"Pure"

 

[Pure]

MzC said

Thats true mostly, but not always. Some guys will pay for the Dommes time and let her do what she wants, but thats mostly with someone whos a regular and they get to know each other.
But if you are new and you see a Domme, you aint likely to get much of a feeling of subbing from it. You might walk out thinking you had a good time but chances are before long you gona be thinking the experience wasnt what you hoped it to be. //

Good point. I would frame it this way. If a would be client says to any sex professional "Please me" and nothing more, the client is likely to be disappointed. The pro can make a kind of 'generic' guess, and that's it. I've heard this complaint from 'phone sex' workers. A person might *assume* the male client wants a blow job--pretty often the case--but that's just a guess.

Similarly, the request,
"Administer pain in a way that will sexually excite me" can only leave the pro to guess. A caning? Tying up? Clamps? How hard? Where?

Here's the paradox: If these questions were to be asked, and/or the "sub" brought a list of answers, in detail, that would determine what the 'dom/me' does, who's calling the shots?

Is there any submission? How is it any different from any other grocery list (I want, on you, nylons, black bra, sucking on my xxx for ten minutes, etc.)

If one is looking to 'submit', there is a similar paradox. First of all, the request,
"Make me submit to you." can only generate guesswork. Suppose the dom/me says, after suitable restraints, "OK, you are to give my other slave a blowjob." Well, is that going to be
'submission'? I may have the hots for that slave on first seeing them. Or, If I'm a straight, somewhat homophobic male, doing it would indeed be submission, but maybe a little more than I'd like!

Guesswork. Well, most people will feel pain in situation X, or fear in situation Y. If I'm dangled out the tenth floor window, held only by one foot, I'll feel fear and probably be willing to comply with just about anything.

But of course the request isn't for 'fear' by itself, but for an erotically stimulating degree of it, not a 'shit your pants' extremity.
...Unless of course the requester likes such an extreme!!

So, Yes, the pro Dom/me or by extension any dom/me must know the would be sub's character, temperament, tastes, etc.

That said, we are at a place you've mentioned before. If my tastes are known, and you, so to speak, "Do my thing" (tie me up and beat me just the way I like), esp. for pay, who is controlling the situation? Is there any genuine submission at all?