You're in a really tricky situation, Katie. I had something similar happen to me last year after my husband and I were invited to our first swinger party and one of the other women at the party, who I knew from work but not very well, started acting a lot like your co-worker is acting towards you, although for different reasons. (her husband likes to be a sub in the bedroom and their dynamic is she has no respect for him in public but they stay together because somehow it works for the two of them)
She had only been with one other woman before me and after the party her and I became fast friends - with benefits. I even had her over to the house for fun and games just her and me a few times. But then it got a little sticky with my husband, because she really likes him (and he caught us together once), but then it got even more sticky at work. Especially when we had to work together for a little while (we're normally in different departments but when the resort re-opened we were way understaffed for a bit and I had to fill-in as a bartender on the casino floor for a few weeks).
I finally told her we had to tap the brakes a bit, especially at work, and she started doing that same mad at me one day, begging for forgiveness the next to me that your co-worker is doing to you.
It wasn't easy. And worse, it wasn't working. Finally I just had to draw a line and say we should take a break from each other for a little bit. I told her I didn't want to hear her complain about her husband anymore (he's a really nice guy) and I told her she had to stop pushing herself into my life so much.
It got pretty frosty between us and stayed that way for almost 3 months. But eventually it helped so much and now we are not only back on good speaking terms. A couple of weeks ago we even did a private Zoom call together with our laptops in our bedrooms and, well, we got to talking and ended up masturbating together with our favorite toys. It was so hot and it made me feel like we might be able to be more than just friends again.
I don't know if we'll ever get together again physically because she still seems more than just a little emotionally needy to me. She doesn't have many friends and I feel bad for her, but at the same time I had to protect myself and well, it sounds like you're sort of in the same place so I 1,000% encourage you to do just that - protect yourself first.
I learned a long time (when I was struggling with addiction) that I can't be there for anyone else when they need me if I'm not already there for myself. We all need friends, but sadly if we're not careful and honest with them, BUT ESPECIALLY OURSELVES, some friends can do us more harm than good.
That's my two cents anyways. There is a way to make this work out. The tricky part is doing what's best for you first though.
It sounds to me like she is extremely emotionally vulnerable right now. She's probably also looking for a new sense of permanence too because of getting out of a LTR. All I can say is WATCH OUT!!! and set boundaries that YOU are comfortable with. Otherwise you might end up on her poop list and if she feels betrayed without any explanation there's no telling what she might do or how far so might go.
It sounds to me like she is extremely emotionally vulnerable right now. She's probably also looking for a new sense of permanence too because of getting out of a LTR. All I can say is WATCH OUT!!! and set boundaries that YOU are comfortable with. Otherwise you might end up on her poop list and if she feels betrayed without any explanation there's no telling what she might do or how far so might go.
I love ginger cookies!
And all of a sudden I'm even starting to love snow for some reason!
Happy baking season everyone!
