Bistro Bijou

[Sara Crewe]

*golf clap*

wow. that was amazing.

Any time I need to explain myself, I am totally coming to you for advice.

Expect a call in ten minutes, alright? Cause, well, I have a deep suspicion that I'll need your skills. Real soon.

Where'd Annie go? I wasn't finished writing on her. I'm learning Sanskrit cause it has more curly bits in it.

bj

Anniie's right there. Come to think of it...all bad stuff found in the Bistro is Annie's stuff.


It' s written right into her evil bidding contract.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Is any of this in the evil bidding contract?

Of course. And as you may or may not know, I am Sara (the Grand Nymph of Nymphomania's) Evil Grand Vizier and assist in enforcing her evil bidding.

So c'mere. I dare ya to run up to Homburg and tell him Sara said something saucy and smart-assed about him.

Anniie's right there. Come to think of it...all bad stuff found in the Bistro is Annie's stuff.


It' s written right into her evil bidding contract.

Well, true enough. Right there in section four, subsection H, paragraph 13.

It's all fine print where we're concerned.

Although you're going to have a difficult time explaining this leather corset. It seems to fit you really well.

bj

 

[Sara Crewe]

Of course. And as you may or may not know, I am Sara (the Grand Nymph of Nymphomania's) Evil Grand Vizier and assist in enforcing her evil bidding.

So c'mere. I dare ya to run up to Homburg and tell him Sara said something saucy and smart-assed about him.

Well, true enough. Right there in section four, subsection H, paragraph 13.

It's all fine print where we're concerned.

Although you're going to have a difficult time explaining this leather corset. It seems to fit you really well.

bj

Um, I hate to be picky but I believe that Annie' task could actually end up having consequences for me and not for her. I believe we need to add a 'spank the messenger' clause in the E.B. contract.


Well, you see. I was walking and these people were carrying a corset into a store and stretching it out as they walked because the one behind was lagging. I was being chased by a mugger and I ran right into the corset. Because it was being stretched it kinda snapped into place when I accidently fell into it.

See?

All logical.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Um, I hate to be picky but I believe that Annie' task could actually end up having consequences for me and not for her. I believe we need to add a 'spank the messenger' clause in the E.B. contract.

Evil Grand Vizier.

And I know what you really want, Candybuns.

As Evil Grand Vizier, I am also allowed to privately refer to you as Candybuns.

Well, you see. I was walking and these people were carrying a corset into a store and stretching it out as they walked because the one behind was lagging. I was being chased by a mugger and I ran right into the corset. Because it was being stretched it kinda snapped into place when I accidently fell into it.

See?

All logical.

*the crowd goes wild*

you amaze me.

and the monogrammed initials? Coincidence, I'm assuming.

Anyway, I always picture you in a kimono or something exotic.

Like this, maybe.

or this:

 

[Sara Crewe]

Evil Grand Vizier.

And I know what you really want, Candybuns.

As Evil Grand Vizier, I am also allowed to privately refer to you as Candybuns.




*the crowd goes wild*

you amaze me.

and the monogrammed initials? Coincidence, I'm assuming.

Anyway, I always picture you in a kimono or something exotic.

Like this, maybe.

or this:

lol candybuns? That results in a lot of giggling.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

lol candybuns? That results in a lot of giggling.

Well, Sugartits seemed too formal, somehow.

Everyone thinks I'm a dude anyway, so I can be a huge pig with impunity.

How bout Lustbunny? Or Peachcake? Slishkitten?

Your red candle is burning in a very interesting, fast and drippy way. Maybe it's the freesia oil.

bj

 

[Sara Crewe]

Well, Sugartits seemed too formal, somehow.

Everyone thinks I'm a dude anyway, so I can be a huge pig with impunity.

How bout Lustbunny? Or Peachcake? Slishkitten?

Your red candle is burning in a very interesting, fast and drippy way. Maybe it's the freesia oil.

bj

Slishkitten one ups candybuns.



I love freesia. They are in my top three flowers.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

They come in red, too.

I made up Slishkitten just for you.

Here's the spell for today:

May you feel especially good for No Particular Reason to speak of. Just because.

 

[Sara Crewe]

They come in red, too.

I made up Slishkitten just for you.

Here's the spell for today:

May you feel especially good for No Particular Reason to speak of. Just because.

lol I like it.



Thank you. I need that.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

lol I like it.



Thank you. I need that.

*bumping up mojo*

just poured a little freesia oil on the oil burner in the shop. Yum. It's good with a couple of drops of cinnamon. People coming in are going to feel like they're being smothered in fairy juice.

We squeeze only the freshest fairies to make our juice.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

*golf clap*

wow. that was amazing.

Any time I need to explain myself, I am totally coming to you for advice.

Expect a call in ten minutes, alright? Cause, well, I have a deep suspicion that I'll need your skills. Real soon.

Where'd Annie go? I wasn't finished writing on her. I'm learning Sanskrit cause it has more curly bits in it.

bj

Annie is about to be dragged off kicking and screaming to bed

Evil Grand Vizier.

And I know what you really want, Candybuns.

As Evil Grand Vizier, I am also allowed to privately refer to you as Candybuns.




*the crowd goes wild*

you amaze me.

and the monogrammed initials? Coincidence, I'm assuming.

Anyway, I always picture you in a kimono or something exotic.

Like this, maybe.

or this:

Hey he's got man boobs!

 

[Sara Crewe]

*bumping up mojo*

just poured a little freesia oil on the oil burner in the shop. Yum. It's good with a couple of drops of cinnamon. People coming in are going to feel like they're being smothered in fairy juice.

We squeeze only the freshest fairies to make our juice.

bj

I suppose that's all good if you buy the fairies drinks before hand...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hey Hombie Sara just said she's buying you a drink .......

 

[Sara Crewe]

Hey Hombie Sara just said she's buying you a drink .......

Okay I may be the world's most incorrigible smart ass but even I would not ever connect Hom with the word fairy.

You are a brave chickie, Annie!! You best hide under the bed.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Annie is about to be dragged off kicking and screaming to bed





Hey he's got man boobs!

Sexy moobs.

There's a particular shape. Kinda squarish. Just the right amount of chest hair. Fascinating little set of planes and curves. I'm a big fan of male chests, actually.

Some other bits appeal as well.

I suppose that's all good if you buy the fairies drinks before hand...

They get pretty fresh after a couple of thimblefuls of snapdragon nectar.

And downright outrageous after a few Cosmos.

You might consult the small handbook we publish, How to get Fairies Drunk and What To Do With Them After That.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Okay I may be the world's most incorrigible smart ass but even I would not ever connect Hom with the word fairy.

You are a brave chickie, Annie!! You best hide under the bed.

Bijou dared me and you know what happened last time she double dared me
BTW If from dust we came and to dust we go well there's a lot of people coming and going under this bed

 

[Sara Crewe]

Sexy moobs.

There's a particular shape. Kinda squarish. Just the right amount of chest hair. Fascinating little set of planes and curves. I'm a big fan of male chests, actually.

Some other bits appeal as well.




They get pretty fresh after a couple of thimblefuls of snapdragon nectar.

And downright outrageous after a few Cosmos.

You might consult the small handbook we publish, How to get Fairies Drunk and What To Do With Them After That.

bj

I am pretty sure that all our fairies migrate south for the winter. The trade with the snow sprites.

Now I know why my snapdragons are always dry in the summer.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Bijou dared me and you know what happened last time she double dared me
BTW If from dust we came and to dust we go well there's a lot of people coming and going under this bed

well, good luck with the 'bijou dared me defense'


I dont see Hom acceptin' that one but maybe I am just a pessimist or maybe I just like watching you get spanked.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Bijou dared me and you know what happened last time she double dared me
BTW If from dust we came and to dust we go well there's a lot of people coming and going under this bed

*laughing madly*

Never thought of that. My whole State is full of those people, apparently.

Yes, true, I dared you. But it's because I know you have both the brass balls and the creativity to come up with something like that. Nicely detailed...

I'm good at dares. I never take them, and am consistently amused that they are such magic words for so many people: I dare you...

And I try to use my superpower for good, so there's that. What could be better than causing the sort of trouble that gets Homburg in here all toppy and hunting for Sara?

bj

 

[Sara Crewe]

*laughing madly*

Never thought of that. My whole State is full of those people, apparently.

Yes, true, I dared you. But it's because I know you have both the brass balls and the creativity to come up with something like that. Nicely detailed...

I'm good at dares. I never take them, and am consistently amused that they are such magic words for so many people: I dare you...

And I try to use my superpower for good, so there's that. What could be better than causing the sort of trouble that gets Homburg in here all toppy and hunting for Sara?

bj

Hunting for Sara? I sound like I'm my own breed now like deer.


I dont possibly see how any of this can be pinned on me. I' m innocent till someone makes my guilt show. *grin*

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Hunting for Sara? I sound like I'm my own breed now like deer.


I dont possibly see how any of this can be pinned on me. I' m innocent till someone makes my guilt show. *grin*

I have the video evidence.

*looking up exchange rates for Canadian money*

When did you people start using moosetits as currency?

Oh wait. That's the name of a town. I was in Google maps.

Upper Moosetits looks like a fascinating little town.

You are your own breed, sweetmeat. Felix saucius episapiens. The Northern Smartass SlishKitty. The feral ones are very hard on the squirrel population up there, I hear.

bj

 

[Tzara]

Slishkitten one ups candybuns.

Slishkitten sounds like the name of an exotic dancer in one of those dystopian SF movies that star Vin Diesel.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I have the video evidence.

*looking up exchange rates for Canadian money*

When did you people start using moosetits as currency?

Oh wait. That's the name of a town. I was in Google maps.

Upper Moosetits looks like a fascinating little town.

You are your own breed, sweetmeat. Felix saucius episapiens. The Northern Smartass SlishKitty. The feral ones are very hard on the squirrel population up there, I hear.

bj

Yeah. Everyone's always poooor little squirrels. They never see that the sneaky buggers bring it on themselves. Squirrels and pigeons are taking over the world. You should hear what they say about the people who feed them.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Slishkitten sounds like the name of an exotic dancer in one of those dystopian SF movies that star Vin Diesel.

lol I think it sounds like a drink.


Or some kind of weather front.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Slishkitten sounds like the name of an exotic dancer in one of those dystopian SF movies that star Vin Diesel.

Excellent point.

*pictures Sara in ragged, post-apocalyptic Boris Vallejo leather outfit, saving Vin Diesel's ass from bounty hunters and then making him her personal slave*

Yeah. Everyone's always poooor little squirrels. They never see that the sneaky buggers bring it on themselves. Squirrels and pigeons are taking over the world. You should hear what they say about the people who feed them.

You may be right, at that.

I really don't trust pigeons. It's that oil-slicky thing around their neck. I have to wonder what they've been into.

Let's go beat us up some squirrels. You wear the Vin Diesel movie outfit, and I'll do a Borg metal jumpsuit thing, and everyone will buy us free drinks.


bj