BOOOO!! It's the Literotica Halloween Story Contest!!

[sachiaiko]

Well NaughtyMike....

:shrugs: I think that the virginal sex-scenes is something not everyone likes. I know for myself, it turns me on quite a bit reading a *well writen* and *realistic* vigrinal scene, one that doesnt accidently leave out the fact its not always a teribly comfortable experience at first. I have my own reasons for it, ya know? And most my stories will have that in it...

However, i wouldnt say that the stories werent good. I didnt read the second story, because Incest isnt really my thing and i didnt want to ruin the voting for the writer because of that. And i read through *all* of Otherworld, Voted a 5 and wrote him a big long great feedback (he didnt respond either! ) I thought it was really well writen and that he did an excelent job.

And the third story was my own. So obviously i enjoyed that as well. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy them, but i think maybe you didnt give them a chance because you wanted to win.

::shrugs:: I dunno, I'm sorry you didnt like my story, if you wouldnt mind i would love a PM with your feedback telling me what i could work on, i'm always open to constructive criticism.

Nik

 

[Whispersecret]

Okay, NOW I gotta go check those winning stories out. LOL

 

[NaughtyMike]

sachiaiko,

Okay this is from a sore loser...

The title has a stupid fucking question mark in it, and it is not a question. It is actually a title from a b-comedy movie. I hate those stupid question marks, what is there supposed to be a twist we couldn't see with out it? The question marks are just as stupid in the description, ...Jenny was forced to get head, or was she?

I know you were attempting to build an ancient character, but I found his language as a turn off, especially when he uses the phrase, "Dove" and "Pet". It seems so forced.

Having an unbelievable vampire is one thing, but the virgin turned nympho is not believable. Women who get raped, do not suddenly get hot and ask more guys to fuck them. Virgins are not nymphos, nor do they have great first experiences. The attempt to make that sudden transition was not real. The part I did like was when the girl complained about being bit, i.e. not in a stupid trite trance state. You need to work on your fucking hard core some. You write like a girl, pretending to be a guy. That was a turn off.

Now in my story (we would get to that sooner or later because of my big fucking ego) the male loses his virginity. For guys- they like it and become sluts and want more. It is a little easier.

However in this story the guy does not eat pussy very well. In fact he doesn't like the idea at all, although in later episodes he becomes an alphabet master. I actually evolve his technique over the episodes... which was hard to do since they were not written in sequence. ... okay not really hard- it was mostly done from memory.

In a story recently submitted, "Forced to Strip" by Tammy Trueheart, the girl is felt up by her brother. It makes her feel creepy. She does not get aroused by his touch at all and she doesn't plunge into a nympho rage.


xoxoxo
NaughtyMike

 

[KillerMuffin]

Good job, Sach. The voters are a picky lot and people like Mike run through the lists exercising their voting rights with that famous "1" vote. Not because you suck, mind you, but because you're competition and a "1" for you is all the better for them. Despite Mike's ilk and their immeasurable help, you pleased the audience and that, my dear, is all that matters.

 

[NaughtyMike]

Good job, Sach. The voters are a picky lot and people like Mike run through the lists exercising their voting rights with that famous "1" vote. Not because you suck, mind you, but because you're competition and a "1" for you is all the better for them. Despite Mike's ilk and their immeasurable help, you pleased the audience and that, my dear, is all that matters.

I don't recall voting on this story.

 

[NaughtyMike]

Good job, Sach. The voters are a picky lot and people like Mike run through the lists exercising their voting rights with that famous "1" vote. Not because you suck, mind you, but because you're competition and a "1" for you is all the better for them. Despite Mike's ilk and their immeasurable help, you pleased the audience and that, my dear, is all that matters.

Nor have I ever voted on any of your stories because I think they all suck and would rate a one. However that is not my style.

It is not that I haven't ever gave out a 1, because I have. I have also given out far far more 5's than ones (other than 5's for myself I might add).

Sach asked for my honest opinion, so I gave it. Since the contest is fucking over, little miss stick up the ass, what the fuck does it matter?

 

[sachiaiko]

Okay Mike - Let me respond here.

First things first, I asked you to PM me with your feedback, but since you feel the need to rip apart what i did in public thats fine. I wrote the story to get myself writing, not to win the contest.

The title has a stupid fucking question mark in it, and it is not a question. It is actually a title from a b-comedy movie. I hate those stupid question marks, what is there supposed to be a twist we couldn't see with out it? The question marks are just as stupid in the description, ...Jenny was forced to get head, or was she?

Your right, the question mark is stupid. It sounded good in the moment because I hadn’t even thought about a name for the story until I was about to post it and I was so excited I was going to post my first story *ever* that I got a little brain dead. I’ll be changing it when I update the story, it needs a bit of editing and polish I didn’t get done the first time around.

I know you were attempting to build an ancient character, but I found his language as a turn off, especially when he uses the phrase, "Dove" and "Pet". It seems so forced.

Hrm… well, I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. You’re the only person who has mentioned it being “forced”, might just be that you dislike the style. I personally like it and have gotten quite a few feedbacks saying how much they enjoyed his speech and manner.

Having an unbelievable vampire is one thing, but the virgin turned nympho is not believable. Women who get raped, do not suddenly get hot and ask more guys to fuck them. Virgins are not nymphos, nor do they have great first experiences. The attempt to make that sudden transition was not real. The part I did like was when the girl complained about being bit, i.e. not in a stupid trite trance state. You need to work on your fucking hard core some. You write like a girl, pretending to be a guy. That was a turn off.

Ash (Main Female Character) was not raped, I have no idea where this came from. Second of all, I *have* been raped, and I know quite well what virgins and rape victims do not do immediately. Mind you, I was a female virgin, I know how it goes. It *can* be quite pleasurable the first time if the man they are with is at all knowledgeable and gentle. Maybe you haven’t been with your partners and therefore, got a different experience, but I think you’re a little arrogant to assume you know better then some one who has been through the experience. She wasn’t in a “trance state” for most of the story, either, maybe you had something on your mind and missed half of it. :Shrugs:


You know – I have one more thing to add, Mike. Why must you be so bloody cruel in your wording? I worked very hard on the story, and if you didn’t like it fine, great, give me positive feedback on what I could do better and go on with it. But like you said, maybe your just a sore looser, but most people don’t hold a lot of respect for a person who would so smash another persons attempt like that. You put yourself out in your writing every time you post, and it hurts when people are cruel or insensitive to you as a result. Maybe you should think about how you would like to be approached in the future before spewing your nastiness on some poor newbie who may not have enough ego strength to live through it and keep writing. Thankfully, I will keep writing, I don’t give a damn what you think about me. :shrugs:

Oh and KillerMuffin – Thank you, I know I don’t suck, but its nice to hear wonderful compliments in the face of such vile wording as Mike Uses. Some of his feedback was very good, I just think sometimes people forget that everyone here is a person on the other end of the computer line, we should show respect and care to each other as individuals instead of tearing something up nastily because your angry you didn’t win a contest. :chuckles. I really appreciate you writing that, it did help after reading Mike’s responses, *a lot*.

Nikki

 

[NaughtyMike]

Okay Mike - Let me respond here.

First things first, I asked you to PM me with your feedback, but since you feel the need to rip apart what i did in public thats fine. I wrote the story to get myself writing, not to win the contest.



Your right, the question mark is stupid. It sounded good in the moment because I hadn’t even thought about a name for the story until I was about to post it and I was so excited I was going to post my first story *ever* that I got a little brain dead. I’ll be changing it when I update the story, it needs a bit of editing and polish I didn’t get done the first time around.



Hrm… well, I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. You’re the only person who has mentioned it being “forced”, might just be that you dislike the style. I personally like it and have gotten quite a few feedbacks saying how much they enjoyed his speech and manner.



Ash (Main Female Character) was not raped, I have no idea where this came from. Second of all, I *have* been raped, and I know quite well what virgins and rape victims do not do immediately. Mind you, I was a female virgin, I know how it goes. It *can* be quite pleasurable the first time if the man they are with is at all knowledgeable and gentle. Maybe you haven’t been with your partners and therefore, got a different experience, but I think you’re a little arrogant to assume you know better then some one who has been through the experience. She wasn’t in a “trance state” for most of the story, either, maybe you had something on your mind and missed half of it. :Shrugs:


You know – I have one more thing to add, Mike. Why must you be so bloody cruel in your wording? I worked very hard on the story, and if you didn’t like it fine, great, give me positive feedback on what I could do better and go on with it. But like you said, maybe your just a sore looser, but most people don’t hold a lot of respect for a person who would so smash another persons attempt like that. You put yourself out in your writing every time you post, and it hurts when people are cruel or insensitive to you as a result. Maybe you should think about how you would like to be approached in the future before spewing your nastiness on some poor newbie who may not have enough ego strength to live through it and keep writing. Thankfully, I will keep writing, I don’t give a damn what you think about me. :shrugs:

Oh and KillerMuffin – Thank you, I know I don’t suck, but its nice to hear wonderful compliments in the face of such vile wording as Mike Uses. Some of his feedback was very good, I just think sometimes people forget that everyone here is a person on the other end of the computer line, we should show respect and care to each other as individuals instead of tearing something up nastily because your angry you didn’t win a contest. :chuckles. I really appreciate you writing that, it did help after reading Mike’s responses, *a lot*.

Nikki

Okay so we agree on the question mark, and I think a better title.

I am willing to bet those who loved the "Dove, Pet" part were females.

You are correct she was not raped. I didn't mean to imply that. It was meant as a comparison. Female's losing their virginity have about as great a time as a woman who is raped. I have trouble believing otherwise.


I know she was not in a trance state, however that is so typical of vampire stories. I LIKED the fact your charcater was NOT in a trance state.

KillerMuffin has already said nasty vile things about my writing in a previous post. I know how it feels- she is a closest meanie.

I joke about being a sore loser. My story did well. I got a lot of reads and votes. I judged its success stricking by keeping track of new reads of my other posts. While "A Seedy Halloween" was on the new list, my other posts increased 3 to 5 times their daily read average. Even my humor stories got reads, which are rare. My incest story went from an average of 60 reads a day to about 250 reads a day. This means over 1000 people who read my story (about 2 per cent) looked up my writings to see what else I wrote. My readers don't vote- even when I beg.

I knew my story was doomed from the start when it had two reads credited to it prior to publication and it started out with a one vote when it "hit the press". I suspect Killermuffin on that one. Apparently she does what she detests in others. She talks like a kind person. I also lost votes during the contest which were apparently fives. I only voted once on my story.

If you want an honset contest, you ban all authors from voting. A person who votes a "5" for a story which sucks because they like the author is no better than a person who votes a "1" on a good story because they are "mean." It seems they off set each other, until KM/editor goes through and deletes those votes they think are in error or cast wrongly. This way the "fix" is in while they claim it is an honest contest.

In all honesty the small of amount of votes I lost would not have changed my standing... but I have to wonder if it changed someone else's standing.

I judge a story strictly on arousal ability. I do not care about grammar, spelling, theme, secondary character developement etc. If it doesn't arouse the story sucks.

Let's get a grip on reality her. What the fuck is this site linked to? Romance tales? The Library of Congress? Courses in English literature? No- it is linked to porno. Girls with big tits, Girls who fuck animals, cocksuckers, gay cock susckers, games which show you a girl's pussy. To think your stories are something more than porno makes me laugh. Without porno this site would not exist.

This forum is far from public, as if I dragged you into the street. It might get a few reads.. especially from people like KM who stalks me everywhere I go so she can write her bitch comments. I was polite when I first commented on all 3 stories. You wanted an honest assessment, so I simply used KM's method of harsh criticism.

 

[Quasimodem]

Originally posted by NaughtyMike:
. . . I judge a story strictly on arousal ability. I do not care about grammar,spelling, theme, secondary character developement. . . .

Or punctuation?

So, NaughtyMike has finally finished kvetching over sachiaiko winning the Halloween Contest . . . or has he?

 

[KillerMuffin]

KillerMuffin has already said nasty vile things about my writing in a previous post. I know how it feels- she is a closest meanie.


You wanted an honest assessment, so I simply used KM's method of harsh criticism.

I'm not a closet meanie. I'm totally Out as a meanie.


There's a difference between honesty and calling someone's ideas "fucking stupid" without a damned good reason. You didn't do that, just called it stupid. You should be able to make a claim about a piece of writing, offer evidence to support your claim, and then explain exactly why this is a bad or a good thing. The reason? So the person you're supposed to be helping learns how to apply the information to other writing, not just the piece you trashed.

I'm hard with my critiques because I expect the author to disassociate him or her self from the writing enough not to take everything as a personal attack. In exchange, I don't personally attack the author. I concern myself only with the writing. You don't even care about writing, just whacking the bone. Why are you even offering a crit? Your opinions on what's hot don't coincide with what Sach has discovered to be hot on her own, so why should she listen to you?

You said the question mark was a bad move. Why was it a bad idea? You bitched, you didn't explain.

What you gave was not constructive criticism. It was negative feedback pure and simple. There was little or no redeeming value in it and the intent was to criticise the writer, not the writing. I know this because of your scintillating: "You need to work on your fucking hard core some. You write like a girl, pretending to be a guy. That was a turn off." Attacking the writer, not criticising writing.

I didn't accuse you of voter fraud, Mike. If you want to 1 vote everything I have because you think I'm a bitch and you only vote once, that's not fraud, that's a legitimate vote. Unethical, but legitimate. No skin off my nose either, have at it and welcome to it.

Call me a troll or bitch about me stalking or attacking you until you feel better. If you find someone who cares, I'll be impressed.

 

[Whispersecret]

KM and NM, back in your corners. Geez.

Mike your harshness was uncalled for. I can think of no circumstances where it would be necessary to tell someone they have a "stupid fucking" anything in their story. And to start off the feedback that way? Ridiculous. If you start of hostile like that - even with the disclaimer that you're a sore loser - you almost guarantee that the recipient isn't going to be open to a thing you say.

I think Sach was admirably polite to you after the crappy tone of your feedback. She is to be admired.

And KM. I consider us to be friends, however, you were wrong to accuse Mike of voting down competition. There's no evidence of that. I may disagree with almost everything he says (and NOW also the WAY he says it), but I wouldn't go so far as to assume he manipulates scores with 1 votes.

---

Sach, I'm skimming through your story. (Only skimming because I'm short of time tonight.) Here are some thoughts:

I see many places where some sentence restructuring and re-paragraphing could make your casual storytelling style clearer. I can sense there's a voice there, but it's coming out awkwardly. You also need a proofreader.

"Exquisite" - not sure that's the right word to describe hearing. Perhaps "acute?"

Terms of endearment don't need to be capitalized.

Okay, much as I hate to admit it, I AM getting a little tired of the "Pet" routine. LOL. It seems like he calls her that every time he opens his mouth. I think it does add to his character, but you may be overdoing it a little much.

If he's centuries old, I'm getting a strange mixture of contemporary and old fashioned talk. For instance, he says something like this, Aaah, warmth, something I may only acquire by the grace of a living thing, I value it more then gold. That's a run-on sentence, by the way. But that's beside the point. It's actually lovely and poetic, but then he also talks/thinks like this "Sure, pet, can I join you?" That seems contradictory to me. I'd rather have seen him one way or the other.

I may be old but I'm hardly daft. LOL That's funny. Needs a comma.

That's all from me. I'm sorry I couldn't go into more detail. I hope I was gentle enough after the previous nastiness.

 

[NaughtyMike]

KM and NM, back in your corners. Geez.

Mike your harshness was uncalled for. I can think of no circumstances where it would be necessary to tell someone they have a "stupid fucking" anything in their story. And to start off the feedback that way? Ridiculous. If you start of hostile like that - even with the disclaimer that you're a sore loser - you almost guarantee that the recipient isn't going to be open to a thing you say.

I think Sach was admirably polite to you after the crappy tone of your feedback. She is to be admired.

And KM. I consider us to be friends, however, you were wrong to accuse Mike of voting down competition. There's no evidence of that. I may disagree with almost everything he says (and NOW also the WAY he says it), but I wouldn't go so far as to assume he manipulates scores with 1 votes.

---

Sach, I'm skimming through your story. (Only skimming because I'm short of time tonight.) Here are some thoughts:

I see many places where some sentence restructuring and re-paragraphing could make your casual storytelling style clearer. I can sense there's a voice there, but it's coming out awkwardly. You also need a proofreader.

"Exquisite" - not sure that's the right word to describe hearing. Perhaps "acute?"

Terms of endearment don't need to be capitalized.

Okay, much as I hate to admit it, I AM getting a little tired of the "Pet" routine. LOL. It seems like he calls her that every time he opens his mouth. I think it does add to his character, but you may be overdoing it a little much.

If he's centuries old, I'm getting a strange mixture of contemporary and old fashioned talk. For instance, he says something like this, Aaah, warmth, something I may only acquire by the grace of a living thing, I value it more then gold. That's a run-on sentence, by the way. But that's beside the point. It's actually lovely and poetic, but then he also talks/thinks like this "Sure, pet, can I join you?" That seems contradictory to me. I'd rather have seen him one way or the other.

I may be old but I'm hardly daft. LOL That's funny. Needs a comma.

That's all from me. I'm sorry I couldn't go into more detail. I hope I was gentle enough after the previous nastiness.

Yeah, what she said. That's two against PET!!! In your face Sach!!!

[Can't anyone else see the humor in my immaturity?]

The final words of my early contest entry were, "Don’t forget to vote for some fucking lame Goth vampire tripe for best Halloween story. " Okay it wasn't so Goth, it just tried to be.

Now how did I know that? Because the voters are mostly underaged teenaged girls who like that stuff. If you were a dreamy eyed 16 year old girl, what 3 stories would you like the best?

Remember, NayghtyMike is just a sore loser.

I love you whispersecret.

 

[Quasimodem]

[Can't anyone else see the humor in my immaturity?]

Nope! Just petulance!

 

[Whispersecret]

Yeah, what she said. That's two against PET!!! In your face Sach!!!

[Can't anyone else see the humor in my immaturity?]

The final words of my early contest entry were, "Don’t forget to vote for some fucking lame Goth vampire tripe for best Halloween story. " Okay it wasn't so Goth, it just tried to be.

Now how did I know that? Because the voters are mostly underaged teenaged girls who like that stuff. If you were a dreamy eyed 16 year old girl, what 3 stories would you like the best?

Remember, NayghtyMike is just a sore loser.

I love you whispersecret.

I do not love you, Mike. Don't make the mistake of assuming that because I agreed with you about the "pet" thing that you and I are friends. That is probably the first and last time we'll ever see eye to eye on something.

 

[NaughtyMike]

I do not love you, Mike. Don't make the mistake of assuming that because I agreed with you about the "pet" thing that you and I are friends. That is probably the first and last time we'll ever see eye to eye on something.

That's okay. My love is unconditional.

 

[Quasimodem]

Originally posted by NaughtyMike
That's okay. My love is unconditional.

True, under no condition, could that be mistaken for 'Love!'

 

[NaughtyMike]

True, under no condition, could that be mistaken for 'Love!'

Another dumbass stalker like KM who follows me around to add a meaningless 2 cents to all my posts.

Get a life.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Ok kids, it's just a contest, not something that decides your life. Chill out. Each of you is talented in your own way. Mike, I lost too, and while I may have had an issue or two with the stories that won, that doesn't make me blind to my own shortcomings. However, choosing to write such a harsh critique in a public forum is in very poor taste. Sach, I would suggest you take advantage of a lovely feature of lit called the ignore button if you don't wish to hear anymore from Mike. Mike, same for you regarding KM.

Quasi, KM, and Whisper...group hug, but only if I get to be in on it

 

[NaughtyMike]

Ok kids, it's just a contest, not something that decides your life. Chill out. Each of you is talented in your own way. Mike, I lost too, and while I may have had an issue or two with the stories that won, that doesn't make me blind to my own shortcomings. However, choosing to write such a harsh critique in a public forum is in very poor taste. Sach, I would suggest you take advantage of a lovely feature of lit called the ignore button if you don't wish to hear anymore from Mike. Mike, same for you regarding KM.

Quasi, KM, and Whisper...group hug, but only if I get to be in on it

Oh yeah, that's easy for you to say. I can't put myself on ignore. She asked for my opinion. I gave it to her. No apologies. I am straight forward and do not pull punches. I do not sugar coat my remarks for all the pussies out there. I said originally I did not like the piece. Sach do not let it go at that, she wanted details, so I gave them to her.

I don't put anyone on ignore unless they are preaching about Jesus. Not even my asshole buddies KM and Quasi who follow me around.