Can you fall in love with someone online?

[Lord Pmann]

So how do you know when it's fantasy, and when it's real?

I would argue that the online sex isn't always pure fantasy. There can be an intimacy during those sessions that can be intense, and I wouldn't call that pure fantasy.

Well, what level of importance exists? Do you find yourself caring about the person for who they are? Or just as the fantasy that they are to you?

I think the importance and care you place on the person separates fantasy from reality.

 

[Becci2U]

YES! YES! YES! I met someone on line, it progressed to a physical thing and I'm still seeing him.

 

[Rigger287]

Yes we can! I did and then broke both her and my own heart by not continuing with her.

 

[Sugarfoot10]

...................

 

[ForHerToUse]

Falling in love online is very possible. I highly recommend it.

 

[Itsahard1]

Sitting at home one night, and I get an intriguing PM. I respond and we begin the dance: flirting, getting to know each other. Sharing more and more, building connections, building trust. Looking for and finding new ways to make connection. Getting together daily, and then throughout the day. Wanting, and being wanted. It seems so real. It feels so real. You trust it's real. And then it's gone. The things I think are shared, turn out to be one-sided: wanting, sharing, supporting. The daily contact disappears. Sending communications feels like sending messages in bottles. They may come back, most just disappear. And after a while you quit looking for them to come back. Was there ever anything real? Was it all a fantasy, a dream?
So last night I'm online, and I get an intriguing PM.
I went to bed. If I'm going to dream - that's the place for it.

 

[OnlyMeMyselfAndMeAgain]

Sitting at home one night, and I get an intriguing PM. I respond and we begin the dance: flirting, getting to know each other. Sharing more and more, building connections, building trust. Looking for and finding new ways to make connection. Getting together daily, and then throughout the day. Wanting, and being wanted. It seems so real. It feels so real. You trust it's real. And then it's gone. The things I think are shared, turn out to be one-sided: wanting, sharing, supporting. The daily contact disappears. Sending communications feels like sending messages in bottles. They may come back, most just disappear. And after a while you quit looking for them to come back. Was there ever anything real? Was it all a fantasy, a dream?
So last night I'm online, and I get an intriguing PM.
I went to bed. If I'm going to dream - that's the place for it.

I feel sorry for you, that was a big disappointment. I hope you had wonderful dreams.

I do think it is possible to fall in love online.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

yes

I want to think so but I also know I am a fool

 

[SweetSam42]

Yes....i fell completely in love......still am......but i don't think he feels the same. It's been over 2 yrs and i still get butterflies every time......

Sorry - that has to be hard.

Sitting at home one night, and I get an intriguing PM. I respond and we begin the dance: flirting, getting to know each other. Sharing more and more, building connections, building trust. Looking for and finding new ways to make connection. Getting together daily, and then throughout the day. Wanting, and being wanted. It seems so real. It feels so real. You trust it's real. And then it's gone. The things I think are shared, turn out to be one-sided: wanting, sharing, supporting. The daily contact disappears. Sending communications feels like sending messages in bottles. They may come back, most just disappear. And after a while you quit looking for them to come back. Was there ever anything real? Was it all a fantasy, a dream?
So last night I'm online, and I get an intriguing PM.
I went to bed. If I'm going to dream - that's the place for it.

As someone said earlier, I think it's good advice is to hold on to these relationships lightly. They can be terribly fleeting, and can end at without a moment's notice. People leave. They disappear for any number of reasons.

I'm sorry - this stinks.

Well, what level of importance exists? Do you find yourself caring about the person for who they are? Or just as the fantasy that they are to you?

I think the importance and care you place on the person separates fantasy from reality.

Good point, Mr. P. Yes, if I care about someone, hope he's happy and well and not dead, my caring real is and not fantasy, but that doesn't mean the relationship is anything other than fantasy. It doesn't mean he won't disappear in a heartbeat without so much as a word (like with ItsaHard1 above). Real life is first to all things here. I think that's just the way things go.

 

[FoolMeOnce]

My two cents on the subject. Can it happen? Sure. But does it happen every time? Absolutely not. Having lived through this, the wisest words of wisdom I got when I was hurting is this. "How can you love someone you've never met?" We can be whoever and whatever we want online. I can tell you that I look like Channing Tatum and have sex like James Deen. Is that true? Nope. But how can you know? Some people will go to any extreme online to either fill a void in their life, ease a painful situation, or because their self worth is down in the dumps. And even though they know somewhere in their mind that this will never be real, they continue on. But where is the chemistry? You may know what they look like, sound like, etc. But will there be a spark if you touch them? Will you feel that magic when you kiss them? Will they be all they built themselves up to be? And what if you can't trust them? If they have shown you so many reasons why you should be cautious? It's been said here before. Online it is so easy for someone to disappear without a trace or a thought for your feelings. It's tricky, that's for sure.

This is just my opinion, based off my own experiences. There's a quote that fits me perfectly after all I've been through:

"Icarus was warned to never let his wings made of wax get too close to the sun. But pride can make even the most noble men do such…foolish things."

All I can say is be careful and be 100% sure before you allow yourself to feel something that may never be reciprocated. I wouldn't wish the pain on anyone.

 

[xSleepingBeauty]

I love reading through this thread. All the responses are so interesting!

I'll answer with a simple 'Yes'.

Is it the same kind of love you would feel in the real world? Maybe not. But that doesn't mean it's not 'love'. I believe in different variations of the word.

 

[lantern88]

Yes i can believe it happens and can happen, just cause its online doesn't mean you cant develop feelings for someone you feel a connection.

 

[vidiman]

Define 'love' first and then the answer might fit!

I expect that you can 'fall' for someone online - with the feelings of 'love' - there may or may not be another stage - actually meeting them and getting to know them in 'person' - then the love feeling may grow or might be seen as something else.

I am one big sucker - I love most women online

 

[pfflyerhot]

Sitting at home one night, and I get an intriguing PM. I respond and we begin the dance: flirting, getting to know each other. Sharing more and more, building connections, building trust. Looking for and finding new ways to make connection. Getting together daily, and then throughout the day. Wanting, and being wanted. It seems so real. It feels so real. You trust it's real. And then it's gone. The things I think are shared, turn out to be one-sided: wanting, sharing, supporting. The daily contact disappears. Sending communications feels like sending messages in bottles. They may come back, most just disappear. And after a while you quit looking for them to come back. Was there ever anything real? Was it all a fantasy, a dream?
So last night I'm online, and I get an intriguing PM.
I went to bed. If I'm going to dream - that's the place for it.

Good point. Then, there are those who you thought you'd connected with in the past who leave and come back months later and act like they never knew you at all. Certainly leaves one to question their own ability to assess other people and their motives...

 

[talikat]

I love reading through this thread. All the responses are so interesting!

I'll answer with a simple 'Yes'.

Is it the same kind of love you would feel in the real world? Maybe not. But that doesn't mean it's not 'love'. I believe in different variations of the word.

Right, all good points from different experiences.

For me, it would be that I love them as much as I can knowing what I know about them. I couldn't possibly move to that forever kind of love if I haven't shared any physical contact, but like you said, it would be a variation of love for sure.

I'll be honest in that I've been gut punched here before and I'm very guarded about letting walls down.

 

[greyjim]

yep..been there..

 

[Leigh81]

I believe you can meet someone online but the only way to truly fall in love would be to actually meet physically. Other wise it's an infatuation. You can have strong feelings towards someone but personally I don't think it's true love. To many components missing.

L

 

[Sundayschild]

I think you can - but it's best not to.....

 

[Curious3456]

I think it can certainly feel like love, but I suspect that too many elements are missing to make it the real thing until you've physically spent time together.....

 

[sxydiva]

Well I personally think you can fall in love with someone online. Seeing I've had
the experience of being lucky enough to have that happen to me I know it's possible.
When you spend time with someone...say every day..you start to learn more things about them.
There is a sexual connection (of course) but you find yourself feeling more than just
infatuation for them. I know what infatuation feels like..definitely for sure.
But when it comes to love, when it's meant to be, it doesn't matter if you meet
in person or online. Sure it takes months to fall in love but it does happen.
And it's wonderful. That's just my opinion though. You can take it or leave it.

But like I said love online IS possible.

 

[Kitty]

YES! I did, ruefully so. Now I refuse to.

 

[greyjim]

YES! I did, ruefully so. Now I refuse to.

...........

 

[TheSilverLining]

I think it's possible to love someone, yes.

"In love" is slightly different and (for me) would probably only be possible following physical intimacy.

 

[BigWeapon]

Yes it is possible for sure

 

[mightymax6133]

I would say so and have! didn't end well so its hard!