Can you fall in love with someone online?

[Lovely2222]

I like what you said here - it can be quite intimate. I set some pretty firm boundaries for myself when cybering, to be sure I have my head in the right place, I suppose.

That is critical. The setting of boundaries. Yet even when you do, you can never control the other's person's feelings. I try to be very careful in that regard.

I used to feel that some equated infatuation with love. Or at least that is how it seemed from my perspective, But one man told me it was not up to me to tell him how he felt. If they feel they are in love, they are in love.

It is hard not be able to return the feelings that someone has for you. You don't know who to approach them or how they will react. Most take it in stride, but I have had some men turn very ugly when their feelings are not returned.

Love is such a mental thing. If we can touch someone's mind or heart how you touch them online or face to face, does not matter.

 

[hornydesibitch]

Ya sure and wake up one day to find a psycho with an axe in ur bed!!! lolzzzzz

 

[DesEsseintes]

Playful1... Tells the cold hard reality.

Tells his cold hard reality. Or a reality.

Other realities are available.

 

[DesEsseintes]

If you look hard enough maybe. I guess if you've lived his reality it's the only one that counts because it's so fucking big and cruel that nothing else could possibly take the horror of it away.

True, because you are still living it. Time and experience will do their work, until you look back one day and know you are somewhere else, without ever having felt yourself move. Anyway, just a brief opinion: I'll stop now. Good luck to lovers everywhere, on or offline. May journeys end in lovers' meetings.

 

[SweetSam42]

Tells his cold hard reality. Or a reality.

Other realities are available.

I agree, Des. I don't think Playful1 tells the only story, as evidenced by some of the stories that have been posted here.

It's a tough story, and one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

 

[SweetSam42]

That is critical. The setting of boundaries. Yet even when you do, you can never control the other's person's feelings. I try to be very careful in that regard.

I used to feel that some equated infatuation with love. Or at least that is how it seemed from my perspective, But one man told me it was not up to me to tell him how he felt. If they feel they are in love, they are in love.

It is hard not be able to return the feelings that someone has for you. You don't know who to approach them or how they will react. Most take it in stride, but I have had some men turn very ugly when their feelings are not returned.

Love is such a mental thing. If we can touch someone's mind or heart how you touch them online or face to face, does not matter.

I love what you've said here, Lovely. Especially the bolded.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[PattiJolene]

Good question, lm not sure if it's love you fall in love with...l think its more the fantasy you fall for.

 

[rubydlite]

I love what you've said here, Lovely. Especially the bolded.

Thank you for sharing.

I agree with this as well.....
I have loved some people and never told them, and pined over the what ifs...and have shared and then realized it wasn't reciprocated. But in all cases....i * still * loved. It's personal for me...defined by me in my own way.
I find that we, as a society, will take back our declared love after we've been hurt.******* or in real life..I've been guilty of it myself.

 

[FukenDubbin]

I believe it's highly possible, but the consenting parties MUST be realistic about the effort required.

 

[Doog_kuron]

I don’t believe it’s possible to fall in love online. Lust? Sure. A crush? Infatuation? Yes. Love? No. Part of falling in love is chemistry. It’s a feeling you get when you occupy the same space. Online, the intimacy isn’t there. Without intimacy, there can be no love. I believe these types of websites, and the world of porn in general, are fantasy lands. You can be whoever/whatever you want to be. I’m a prime example. For years, I came on here and told outrageous lies. I lied about myself and told lies to lots of other people.

I’ve come to these realizations through a lot of soul searching and self-exploration. I’ve done a lot of things here that I’m not proud of. Here’s my story:
In March of 2013, I started PMing seriously with someone here. Even then, I wasn’t sure why I would do this. I was very happy in my marriage. This “cyber affair” would carry on for a year.

We texted pretty much daily and, after a while, started talking on the phone once or twice a week, then skyping a couple of times a month. I told her that she was gorgeous, wonderful, stroked her ego. Worst of all, within a week of us sending our first text messages back and forth, I told her that I loved her. I used that precious term on someone that I didn’t really know (We didn’t even know each other’s last names!) and continued to use it even though she was someone I didn’t particularly care about. Maybe a crush. Definitely lust, infatuation. Not love. I stole her emotions. What a thief and a liar I am.

I’ve asked myself what was it about her. I think it was because she paid a little bit of attention to everyone. She seemed to always be available. She really could have been anyone. I wanted the attention. I wanted the ego boost of a young woman. I wanted instant gratification.

I’ll be the first to admit that I treated her badly. Things like phone calls were chores. I had to do them to get the attention, the mediocre personalized porn that I wanted. I reached a point where I would ignore her for days at a time. A couple of apologies, a phone call, maybe a Skype session and all was forgiven. She wasn’t a real person to me, she was part of a fantasy world.

How is cybersex an intimate act? It’s masturbation. Plain and simple. It’s masturbation with someone you “know” watching. No matter how you spin it, it’s ultimately a solo act. There were Skype sessions when I had porn on the big screen behind my laptop, watching that instead of my partner. How can that be intimate?

I misused the word love. I misplaced terms of endearment. I used peoples’ emotions against them. I did very bad things to people. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen, I’ve broken promises, and I’ve violated trust. This whole thing has cost me my marriage and my relationship with the most important, most wonderful, most beautiful person I’ve ever known – my wife.

Folks, watch out. You never know who is on the other end of the keyboard. If you met me, you’d think I was a nice guy. If you “talked” with me, you’d probably like me. That person you’re head over heels “in love” with could be someone like me. Go find someone real, someone physical that you can touch! There’s someone out there for everyone, but good luck finding them on a porn site.

Well I guess there's darker, less rainbow filled sides to everything. An uncomfortable read to say the least. However the fact remains I have been in love with people online and it has led to long lasting relationships. Also from witnessing my family miseries growing up being untruthful is ultimately counter productive. Hence I've been completely honest with my dealings online and here.

Regardless and for what it's worth I hope you find a measure of joy in your life.

 

[sereneone4u]

Tells his cold hard reality. Or a reality.

Other realities are available.

True, because you are still living it. Time and experience will do their work, until you look back one day and know you are somewhere else, without ever having felt yourself move. Anyway, just a brief opinion: I'll stop now. Good luck to lovers everywhere, on or offline. May journeys end in lovers' meetings.

You really are so wise, Des.

I changed my post a little, Des. I'm certainly not living that reality though. I made my bed and lay in it.... time and time again. I did it to myself.

I forgave him his part and I forgave myself my much bigger one. I'm somewhere much different, but hopefully taking the lessons of it and re-inventing a girl who would not do that to herself.

Hugs, RS. I am sorry to see you in such pain.

 

[DesEsseintes]

You really are so wise, Des.

Oh, you are far too kind! I would never claim wisdom. Perhaps it's just my extreme old age - I am bound to hit an occasional truth after so many years...

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

Yes, I have and can. I fall in love with their personality and when meeting him, the rest of him. Unfortunately, he wasn't in love with me.

 

[Ginger41]

Nope.

 

[Dogma52]

Lust..... yes! Love.... no!

 

[Emma14]

You can.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have, and it hasn't worked out yet, but I was definitely in love.
More than once.

 

[Daddysbadgirl69]

I don’t believe it’s possible to fall in love online. Lust? Sure. A crush? Infatuation? Yes. Love? No. Part of falling in love is chemistry. It’s a feeling you get when you occupy the same space. Online, the intimacy isn’t there. Without intimacy, there can be no love. I believe these types of websites, and the world of porn in general, are fantasy lands. You can be whoever/whatever you want to be. I’m a prime example. For years, I came on here and told outrageous lies. I lied about myself and told lies to lots of other people.

I’ve come to these realizations through a lot of soul searching and self-exploration. I’ve done a lot of things here that I’m not proud of. Here’s my story:
In March of 2013, I started PMing seriously with someone here. Even then, I wasn’t sure why I would do this. I was very happy in my marriage. This “cyber affair” would carry on for a year.

We texted pretty much daily and, after a while, started talking on the phone once or twice a week, then skyping a couple of times a month. I told her that she was gorgeous, wonderful, stroked her ego. Worst of all, within a week of us sending our first text messages back and forth, I told her that I loved her. I used that precious term on someone that I didn’t really know (We didn’t even know each other’s last names!) and continued to use it even though she was someone I didn’t particularly care about. Maybe a crush. Definitely lust, infatuation. Not love. I stole her emotions. What a thief and a liar I am.

I’ve asked myself what was it about her. I think it was because she paid a little bit of attention to everyone. She seemed to always be available. She really could have been anyone. I wanted the attention. I wanted the ego boost of a young woman. I wanted instant gratification.

I’ll be the first to admit that I treated her badly. Things like phone calls were chores. I had to do them to get the attention, the mediocre personalized porn that I wanted. I reached a point where I would ignore her for days at a time. A couple of apologies, a phone call, maybe a Skype session and all was forgiven. She wasn’t a real person to me, she was part of a fantasy world.

How is cybersex an intimate act? It’s masturbation. Plain and simple. It’s masturbation with someone you “know” watching. No matter how you spin it, it’s ultimately a solo act. There were Skype sessions when I had porn on the big screen behind my laptop, watching that instead of my partner. How can that be intimate?

I misused the word love. I misplaced terms of endearment. I used peoples’ emotions against them. I did very bad things to people. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen, I’ve broken promises, and I’ve violated trust. This whole thing has cost me my marriage and my relationship with the most important, most wonderful, most beautiful person I’ve ever known – my wife.

Folks, watch out. You never know who is on the other end of the keyboard. If you met me, you’d think I was a nice guy. If you “talked” with me, you’d probably like me. That person you’re head over heels “in love” with could be someone like me. Go find someone real, someone physical that you can touch! There’s someone out there for everyone, but good luck finding them on a porn site.

So honest and open. I give you HUGE credit for sharing this. It's made me think....and rethink some things... Thank you.

 

[blackhillsbbw]

I think one can...

I don’t believe it’s possible to fall in love online. Lust? Sure. A crush? Infatuation? Yes. Love? No. Part of falling in love is chemistry. It’s a feeling you get when you occupy the same space. Online, the intimacy isn’t there. Without intimacy, there can be no love. I believe these types of websites, and the world of porn in general, are fantasy lands. You can be whoever/whatever you want to be. I’m a prime example. For years, I came on here and told outrageous lies. I lied about myself and told lies to lots of other people.

I’ve come to these realizations through a lot of soul searching and self-exploration. I’ve done a lot of things here that I’m not proud of. Here’s my story:
In March of 2013, I started PMing seriously with someone here. Even then, I wasn’t sure why I would do this. I was very happy in my marriage. This “cyber affair” would carry on for a year.

We texted pretty much daily and, after a while, started talking on the phone once or twice a week, then skyping a couple of times a month. I told her that she was gorgeous, wonderful, stroked her ego. Worst of all, within a week of us sending our first text messages back and forth, I told her that I loved her. I used that precious term on someone that I didn’t really know (We didn’t even know each other’s last names!) and continued to use it even though she was someone I didn’t particularly care about. Maybe a crush. Definitely lust, infatuation. Not love. I stole her emotions. What a thief and a liar I am.

I’ve asked myself what was it about her. I think it was because she paid a little bit of attention to everyone. She seemed to always be available. She really could have been anyone. I wanted the attention. I wanted the ego boost of a young woman. I wanted instant gratification.

I’ll be the first to admit that I treated her badly. Things like phone calls were chores. I had to do them to get the attention, the mediocre personalized porn that I wanted. I reached a point where I would ignore her for days at a time. A couple of apologies, a phone call, maybe a Skype session and all was forgiven. She wasn’t a real person to me, she was part of a fantasy world.

How is cybersex an intimate act? It’s masturbation. Plain and simple. It’s masturbation with someone you “know” watching. No matter how you spin it, it’s ultimately a solo act. There were Skype sessions when I had porn on the big screen behind my laptop, watching that instead of my partner. How can that be intimate?

I misused the word love. I misplaced terms of endearment. I used peoples’ emotions against them. I did very bad things to people. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve stolen, I’ve broken promises, and I’ve violated trust. This whole thing has cost me my marriage and my relationship with the most important, most wonderful, most beautiful person I’ve ever known – my wife.

Folks, watch out. You never know who is on the other end of the keyboard. If you met me, you’d think I was a nice guy. If you “talked” with me, you’d probably like me. That person you’re head over heels “in love” with could be someone like me. Go find someone real, someone physical that you can touch! There’s someone out there for everyone, but good luck finding them on a porn site.

So honest and open. I give you HUGE credit for sharing this. It's made me think....and rethink some things... Thank you.

Wow, i've watched this thread from afar and now read this statement. I feel for you and know that online can be a disaster waiting to happen--ending marriages, etc. Online is very addictive and seems to be something that fills a need in all of us. My post here will just address the 'love' aspect. As far as porn and fantasyland, that goes without saying.

I have been online for approximately 15 years. I lied in the first couple of weeks mainly about my body size and when I came clean about it after a couple chats, those guys never left me and are still in my life today. I do believe you can fall in 'all of the above'; including love. I do not think love has to be rational where you can only know it through intimacy. I believe love is of the heart. But I also believe that love can be misplaced as well. I think that is what is so wonderful about 'love'; it has a huge capacity and takes on all attributes.

I believe many cases, love is more genuine online if you are simply getting to know someone (no camming, no pics, etc). Online we can really get to know 'the person'; it's not based on 'looks', 'body type', 'smile' or even 'voice'. It's based on at least 3 aspects - mental, emotional, and spiritual. Yes, if you a thief and robbing that person of who you really are, then shame on you. But if you are genuine in sharing yourself, I believe love can be the outcome. I do believe that there are different aspects to chemistry as well. This runs the whole gambit of virtual or literal. Marriages fall apart too even if you have the real chemistry and the real intimacy. I believe I know others online much better than I know the person I am married to. I also know that the friends I choose here are long term friends; they are genuine and share deepest most thoughts and feelings. Ideally it should be that way with our spouses/partner's too, I realize. Unfortunately it usually isn't...

I say all this because I have liked the thread's topic and believe it can be true, as I have fallen in love online. I do not believe one can look at it as either all black or all white. I could write more but it's my two cents for now… Thanks for sharing. I am truly sorry it had the outcome that it did.

 

[SweetSam42]

I have, and it hasn't worked out yet, but I was definitely in love.
More than once.

Thank you for sharing, J.

Wow, i've watched this thread from afar and now read this statement. I feel for you and know that online can be a disaster waiting to happen--ending marriages, etc. Online is very addictive and seems to be something that fills a need in all of us. My post here will just address the 'love' aspect. As far as porn and fantasyland, that goes without saying.

I have been online for approximately 15 years. I lied in the first couple of weeks mainly about my body size and when I came clean about it after a couple chats, those guys never left me and are still in my life today. I do believe you can fall in 'all of the above'; including love. I do not think love has to be rational where you can only know it through intimacy. I believe love is of the heart. But I also believe that love can be misplaced as well. I think that is what is so wonderful about 'love'; it has a huge capacity and takes on all attributes.

I believe many cases, love is more genuine online if you are simply getting to know someone (no camming, no pics, etc). Online we can really get to know 'the person'; it's not based on 'looks', 'body type', 'smile' or even 'voice'. It's based on at least 3 aspects - mental, emotional, and spiritual. Yes, if you a thief and robbing that person of who you really are, then shame on you. But if you are genuine in sharing yourself, I believe love can be the outcome. I do believe that there are different aspects to chemistry as well. This runs the whole gambit of virtual or literal. Marriages fall apart too even if you have the real chemistry and the real intimacy. I believe I know others online much better than I know the person I am married to. I also know that the friends I choose here are long term friends; they are genuine and share deepest most thoughts and feelings. Ideally it should be that way with our spouses/partner's too, I realize. Unfortunately it usually isn't...

I say all this because I have liked the thread's topic and believe it can be true, as I have fallen in love online. I do not believe one can look at it as either all black or all white. I could write more but it's my two cents for now… Thanks for sharing. I am truly sorry it had the outcome that it did.

Love your post. Thank you.

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

So online love doesn't exist because YOU lied???? I see............

 

[blackhillsbbw]

Thank you for sharing, J.



Love your post. Thank you.

You're welcome!
Great topic here. These are things I think a lot about.

 

[blackhillsbbw]

I have, and it hasn't worked out yet, but I was definitely in love.
More than once.

Yes, good…it can happen.

 

[blackhillsbbw]

This is a great Topic!

I'm surprised that this topic hasn't kept going but maybe I came in after much conversation.

I just wanted to share here in a nutshell that we most certainly can fall in love online. I've done it twice and will most likely do it again. The problem is fall in love when you are married and they are too. All kinds of cans-with-worms open then; but it's still possible to fall in love.

I believe however, that my experiences have been that women really do fall hook, line and sinker with men. We give everything we got and we're loyal, caring, and more. Now, there may be some of those women out there that are bitches, self-centered, and demand their own way and many of them are in very unhappy marriages and probably from their doing. Those women you probably won't find cruising around the net looking for sex. They're too busy keeping it from their husbands.

I believe too their are those men who don't matter to their wives in their marriages. Some men are cads, and some are not. Some are wonderful and ignored by their spouses.

I have been online so long and have chatted non-stop with men. I am not here just to play, cyber but to visit. I have fallen in love twice. Really fallen in love. You don't need the physical or to see them to fall in love. Online actually gives you a better perspective because you get much more deeper with them…their inner thoughts, loves and concerns. Their need to matter too and especially to their wives and girlfriends. We all have that need and we need attention.

I'm cutting this short, believe it or not or I could go on for a very long time. But without a doubt, if we are ourselves, honest and genuine, in whatever circumstances, there is a great chance you can fall in love.

 

[DustOnDaBotl]

It happened to me. I lost her 2 years ago to Lupus complications, but it was the best 6 years of my life. Not on this site for posts like this, but I couldn't resist. There is love out there for everyone.