Characters who cheat on their spouse - Am I asking for trouble?

[Duleigh]

I had a story were a girl tied up her boy friend and had sex with another woman. I was accused of cuckoldry (Doesn't that require some kind of wedding vow?) and lost (supposedly) regular readers. (I doubt they read more than 2 other of my stories.)

All I can say is get out your Kevlar panties and give it a shot

 

[Yarglenurp]

I had a story were a girl tied up her boy friend and had sex with another woman. I was accused of cuckoldry (Doesn't that require some kind of wedding vow?) and lost (supposedly) regular readers. (I doubt they read more than 2 other of my stories.)

All I can say is get out your Kevlar panties and give it a shot

I think the cuckoldry fetish works for any kind of assumed monogamous relationship. Also, hot. Lucky boy.

 

[Voboy]

That's super interesting. I have obviously heard of infidelity. I've never considered doing it, nor worried about having it done to me. Maybe that's naive. I hope it doesn't come across as judgemental, at least.

Not at all.

It's a worthwhile discussion; I'd be curious (and I'm NOT asking as a "gotcha") whether, if you're honest, you haven't thought about it. Not "considered" it; if you've got a strong, healthy moral code, I would hope you hadn't! But I believe it's natural, even for those completely committed to a spouse or significant other, to occasionally see another person, find them attractive, and fleetingly wonder what it'd be like to take them someplace private and fuck them silly.

I think it's a normal part of human biology. I think many of us do it at work, or at the gym, or when walking along the streets. We do it in restaurants, when the waitstaff is attractive. It's usually idle, ghostly shreds of thought... but it's there.

A place like Lit exists, I think, in large part to explore that side of ourselves. Whether as a writer or as a reader, it's a safe way to confront and dispose of these kinds of urges. And it's anonymous, so we don't even have to admit it. But, again, I think it's normal.

I think it's even healthy, in that resisting infidelity reinforces our devotion to our spouses or significant others by reminding us how much more important love can be than lust. Or? Maybe that's merely what I tell myself.

Regardless, when I treat it as a normal thing in my stories, I can't remember more than a few times that I've ever fielded a comment about that part of the tale.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Not at all.

It's a worthwhile discussion; I'd be curious (and I'm NOT asking as a "gotcha") whether, if you're honest, you haven't thought about it. Not "considered" it; if you've got a strong, healthy moral code, I would hope you hadn't! But I believe it's natural, even for those completely committed to a spouse or significant other, to occasionally see another person, find them attractive, and fleetingly wonder what it'd be like to take them someplace private and fuck them silly.

I think it's a normal part of human biology. I think many of us do it at work, or at the gym, or when walking along the streets. We do it in restaurants, when the waitstaff is attractive. It's usually idle, ghostly shreds of thought... but it's there.

A place like Lit exists, I think, in large part to explore that side of ourselves. Whether as a writer or as a reader, it's a safe way to confront and dispose of these kinds of urges. And it's anonymous, so we don't even have to admit it. But, again, I think it's normal.

I think it's even healthy, in that resisting infidelity reinforces our devotion to our spouses or significant others by reminding us how much more important love can be than lust. Or? Maybe that's merely what I tell myself.

Regardless, when I treat it as a normal thing in my stories, I can't remember more than a few times that I've ever fielded a comment about that part of the tale.

This seems like the same term for two related but extremely different concepts.

I’m not sure if that’s the kind of contemplation of infidelity most people are talking about. In your version, contemplation of infidelity is almost meaningless as a concept because everyone other than the completely asexual would commit it. Even the completely asexual might commit it simply because their brains might be working through a fast scenario. Difference between id brain and conscious though brain. Like, am I truly contemplating eating a cake if I fantasize about becoming Galactus and eating the Earth?

I suspect the types of infidelity contemplation most people talk and obsess over is more like, (1) knowing you have a reasonable chance to achieve your objective, (2) having the motivation to achieve that objective, and (3) the main impediment is your own judgment on whether to proceed.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Regardless, when I treat it as a normal thing in my stories, I can't remember more than a few times that I've ever fielded a comment about that part of the tale.

I've got several stories where the marital status of a protagonist (both men and women) is ambiguous (because if there is a spouse, they're irrelevant to the story being told), or explicitly stated but pushed off into the background, because again, they're irrelevant to the story. A couple of readers commented, "But what about...?" to which I put a reply in the comments, "You want another story, not this one I'm telling."

I get that cheating, infidelity and cuckoldry are the erotic core for a whole bunch of people, and it's as if they want every story to be about that, but those themes aren't on my erotic horizon at all, so I sail right on past them, and don't worry about the implications, not one bit.

 

[Voboy]

In your version, contemplation of infidelity is almost meaningless as a concept because everyone other than the completely asexual would commit it. Even the completely asexual might commit it simply because their brains might be working through a fast scenario.

Yes, I think this is essentially what I'm saying... for some. Others take it a step further, some take it several steps further.

But regardless, I think it's the germ of that idea that makes this such a relatable theme in erotica here. I'm not really presuming to discuss any of our (or our readers') real extramarital sex lives: I'm looking at this relative to its utility as a trope in erotic fiction, and relative to my belief that it can easily and successfully turn up in a number of different categories here (not just the dreaded LW).

 

[Britva415]

"approved" cheating

Doesn't sound like cheating to me.

 

[Britva415]

Erotic Couplings barely makes sense

I don't see why not.

And not "just" because there "needs" to be a cheating-appropriate category. (I don't believe in that statement, I'm just paraphrasing one which I believe people here are making.)

I wouldn't object to a Cheating category, but in its absence, I honestly don't see why cheat sex is "wrong" for EC. I know someone's going to say "EC is just a misc-dump, it's not a real category" but I don't see it that way.

 

[Cagivagurl]

I'm working on a story where there will be cheating. I've had people cheat on their spouses before on stories, but in those cases, one spouse tends to be a louse, and you kind of want the other to break free. In this case, there is no true louse. It's about being manipulated into cheating.

I do have a happy ending in mind, which might placate those who abhor adultery, but the cheating aspect is vital to the narrative and, at the moment, very erotic, in part due to its lustful/deceptive nature. I have made sure the cheating is physical, not emotional, but I wonder if I'm just asking for a barrage of insults for taking likable characters and having them violate their vows.

Any experiences and feedback you've received would be appreciated.

I think it depends on the category... "Just my opinion BTW).
I have written a couple, which I posted in LW. They were treated brutally by the moralists who only read stories where wives get burnt at the stage... Still, I was happy with the high read numbers. It was a trade off. I knew before posting the score wouldn't be great. The moralists who live in LW are a vengeful mob...
If you don't write what they wanna read. You get hammered...
Still, don't be scared of by the vengeful trolls. LW also has a large number of readers who appreciate a good story.

The trade off is. LW will give you at least three times as many readers than you could expect in EC. The down side is the score will suffer unless you crucify the cheater... Also, you can expect to get a lot of comments...
So... Plus side. Lots of reader, lots of comments. Down side, lower score than EC, if you don't crucify the cheater....
Romance.... That is definitely not the place to post a story relating to cheating... You score will really suffer.... LOL, speaking from experience...

Advice, ignore your fears. If it's a story you are enjoying writing, then just go for it. Post it where you think it fits....

Cagivagurl

 

[Erozetta]

Yes.

Do it anyways.

 

[yowser]

'Cheating' is one of those marvelously messy concepts that lends itself to all manner of scrutiny, since there are always at least two perspectives/interpretations at work. Teasing out those differences can make for interesting reading. What exactly is the 'cheating' part can involve remarkably fluid individual assessments (and denials.)

Here's some discussion between a husband and a wife from a recent story of mine:

"I think I know, Barb. You're angry. I don't blame you. I'm sorry. You think maybe I'm cheating, but I'm not."

"But you're doing sex stuff with someone else, who is not me. Isn't that cheating?"

I shook my head. "No."

 

[lovecraft68]

That's where the people with a cheating fetish go, after all.

One would think, and they most likely do. Problem is that this is where the anti-cheat trolls go to tee off on stories they hate and claim don't belong there, so although it is the right place for the story one has to deal with a faction that wants to make the category what they-not the site-think it should be.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think the cuckoldry fetish works for any kind of assumed monogamous relationship. Also, hot. Lucky boy.

Right, one that doesn't need to be married just in a relationship.

 

[lovecraft68]

'Cheating' is one of those marvelously messy concepts that lends itself to all manner of scrutiny, since there are always at least two perspectives/interpretations at work. Teasing out those differences can make for interesting reading. What exactly is the 'cheating' part can involve remarkably fluid individual assessments (and denials.)

Here's some discussion between a husband and a wife from a recent story of mine:

"I think I know, Barb. You're angry. I don't blame you. I'm sorry. You think maybe I'm cheating, but I'm not."

"But you're doing sex stuff with someone else, who is not me. Isn't that cheating?"

I shook my head. "No."

Now add to his response, "Its only cheating when women do it" and you have a hit in LW.

 

[lc69hunter]

I'd think the answer would depend on the category. My understanding is that cheating of any type is despised in Romance. Cheating of any type is the bread and butter of LW.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-vacation-29 was just released today. It is actually a well written cheating story, and kind of surprised the author posted it in Romance. It is currently at 3.91, but would probably score higher in another category.

 

[lc69hunter]

I am a minority, but I do not mind cheating spouse stories if both protagonists enjoyed it, discreetly, there was no disrespect toward either spouse, and no harm, no foul. Change that scenario, and I will dislike it, as no one needs or deserves to be hurt, embarrassed, or humiliated. If that happens, it belongs in Fetish, as there is no loving spouse

 

[gunhilltrain]

I don't see why not.

And not "just" because there "needs" to be a cheating-appropriate category. (I don't believe in that statement, I'm just paraphrasing one which I believe people here are making.)

I wouldn't object to a Cheating category, but in its absence, I honestly don't see why cheat sex is "wrong" for EC. I know someone's going to say "EC is just a misc-dump, it's not a real category" but I don't see it that way.

I'm rethinking that, and EC might be good for certain cases. I'm writing a story in which a guy catches his girlfriend in the middle of the act, and that would seem to be an EC story. Chapters that merely have conversations (it will be part of a series) might not fit as well in that category.

 

[Britva415]

I'm writing a story in which a guy catches his girlfriend in the middle of the act, and that would seem to be an EC story

I think it would depend on what direction the story goes. Does catching them inspire a hot encounter between the guy and the GF? Is the story about the GF’s hot encounter with the other guy, and getting caught by the BF is completely peripheral? Are there 3-way vibes or implications? Do the matters of infidelity or working things out get ignored?

 

[gunhilltrain]

I think it would depend on what direction the story goes. Does catching them inspire a hot encounter between the guy and the GF? Is the story about the GF’s hot encounter with the other guy, and getting caught by the BF is completely peripheral? Are there 3-way vibes or implications? Do the matters of infidelity or working things out get ignored?

It would be a bit complicated to describe the plot. I wrote some of it a long time ago as a sort of "bridge" between two other series - it fills in a gap in the story of the main character. It's became a bit of mess because each series is distinctly about certain girlfriends he had in different time periods. I'm trying now to get a feel for finishing it.

 

[RetroFan]

I've had stories where both spouses cheat, neither knowing that the other half is also cheating.

For example in one of my stories, a young woman cheats on her fiance with his loser younger brother. The same night, the fiance cheats on his bride-to-be with an attractive married woman in her 40s - who turns out to be the mother of the loser brother's ex-girlfriend who recently dumped him.

In another featuring a married couple aged in their mid-40s the husband has lost interest in sex thanks to a bizarre series of obsessions that lead to him going to a brothel where he dresses up as a cowboy. His wife, pondering what has been up with her husband in recent times and suspecting problem gambling, is herself lusting over pretty young women and embarks on her own lesbian affair with a rebellious 18-year-old girl who is always in trouble for one thing or another.