chudwah

[rosco rathbone]

I am always going to speak up for the "chudwahs" and the disenfranchised gnomes and HNG's because I see them as desirous, psychosexual beings who for one reason or another lack finesse. The idea that they are somehow "less BDSM" than "you" is ridiculous. They just lack finesse.

Their unattractiveness is, to me, attractive. I dream of forcing submissive servile sexual slaves to please them.

 

[Netzach]

I've been an observer of the JJ phenomenon for some time now. That whole thing really does operate like a cult, if you ever do any rudimentary reading about how cults operate.

The first thing that often happens is that the initiate/newbie is made to feel special entitled, rarer more fragile and above all the mundane other idiots "out there."

People want to feel special, especially people who are part of a sexual minority that still gives the public the jitters, people who get no validation about their sexuality. I combat this mentality all the time in GLBT circles, there's no magic lesbian nice gene that makes us girls better to one another, less prone to abuse, evil and mayhem.

JJ is remarkably persuasive and logical. It's hard not to buy his arguments lock stock and barrel, and I think I would buy a lot more of it if I were not as sceptical about XX and XY locking us into so many behaviors, if I myself were not an XX who behaves like I had the missing Y so much. Also if I didn't feel like there was so much agenda behind it.

Why do people do it? Experts? And why does our community crave so many of them? I like Pat Califia's writing, I don't feel a kinship with him, or think he's onto something I've never realized, or even think that he'd be someone I want to have lunch with.

 

[FungiUg]

Two points:

Even if you do everything right, play safe, take responsibility... you can still get hurt. Of course, this isn't related so much to the wannabe's as the predators, who are a different beast (although the two will no doubt overlap).

Second, we all have to start somewhere. Even wannabes can grow and learn and become experienced.

So yes, the wannabes can give D/s a bad name, because they don't really understand. That's where we can help - by providing the voices of experience and opportunities for education.

And if there were no wannabes, then there would be no D/s.