Cock Talk

[Endless_Night]

< I don’t know why walking makes talking easier, but it seems to.

Totally agree.

I recently learned that walking or pacing can be a stimming behavior that helps people self soothe. It's most commonly referenced to neurodivergence, so may not be relative in this case. Which now leads me to wonder how neurodivergence affects my answers to these types of questions. I do seem to have an unusually high need for transparency and clarity.

I will now be thinking about this for the next two days . . . .



Dang it.

 

[Lmizzler]

I recently learned that walking or pacing can be a stimming behavior that helps people self soothe. That's in reference to neurodivergence, so may not be relative in this case. Which leads me to wonder how neurodivergence affects my answers to these types of questions. I do seem to have an unusually high need for transparency and clarity.

I will now be thinking about this for the next two days . . . .



Dang it.

Overthinkers Anonomous has some great groups to join.

In fairness, I actually pace a lot when I'm on the phone as well. The walking and movement seems to focus and settle my brain.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I recently learned that walking or pacing can be a stimming behavior that helps people self soothe. It's most commonly referenced to neurodivergence, so may not be relative in this case. Which now leads me to wonder how neurodivergence affects my answers to these types of questions. I do seem to have an unusually high need for transparency and clarity.

I will now be thinking about this for the next two days . . . .



Dang it.

I don’t get many headaches, but when I do a brisk walk, regardless of weather, is usually the cure.
People should walk more.

Overthinkers Anonomous has some great groups to join.

In fairness, I actually pace a lot when I'm on the phone as well. The walking and movement seems to focus and settle my brain.

I do this too.
Also when thinking, problem solving, eating breakfast, etc.
I need movement to think.

 

[Endless_Night]

In fairness, I actually pace a lot when I'm on the phone as well. The walking and movement seems to focus and settle my brain.

I do this too.
Also when thinking, problem solving, eating breakfast, etc.
I need movement to think.

Have I mentioned I love you both?

 

[Mei5ter]

If I found out a partner had, "discreetly worked out ways of dealing with the situation," without discussing it with me first? That would end things. Period. No higher court of appeal.

Interesting. I deliberately phrased that ambiguously, so that it could cover a broad range of behaviour. Including...

A hypothetical situation: you find your partner has concealed an interest in a kink which you find unacceptable. (I don't know what that might be but...maybe scat, or animals, or wearing a Putin face mask, or...pick your own).

They satisfy this interest by discreetly watching porn dedicated to this kink.

I'm curious whether, for you, that would be enough to end things?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I think this is important.
I don’t know why walking makes talking easier, but it seems to.

There's this concept of shoulder to shoulder communication as opposed to face to face communication. It's much easier to talk about hard things when shoulder to shoulder.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

For me, I need honesty. If I am committed to someone, in whatever context, I'll move heaven and earth to find a way for them to be happy. Even if I'm not committed, that might be true, if there were good reasons to maintain the relationship.

I think honesty is completely overrated.

I've really sat with this one for a long time and I do understand that need in others. I certainly don't have it in myself.

Like everything in life, there's a lot of grey areas in all things honest and true, etc. It's a really interesting part of someone's "character" - their honesty. Because in my opinion it's still subjective.

I'm much more interested in accountability. Taking responsibility for one's self. Sometimes there may be omissions or things said with integrity that could be interpreted as not entirely true.

Fear gets in the way a lot and as humans we really do suck at navigating that.

 

[Apisto42]

Cummunication


We seem to agree that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but then why are so many people struggling to communicate?

Do you have good communication with your partner?

Hm. It’s honestly hit and miss.

Why?

But it’s better because honestly she tries harder in some ways then I do. Like meister wrote, I don’t think everything needs to be discussed.

It’s often said that “women just want to be heard”. And when you offer advice (solutions), they look at you like you’re the biggest douchebag on the planet, how do we get around this?

I find listening and not offering advice is better when dealing with everyone regardless of their sex. But if you give advice and it goes wrong, they blame you. If you give advice and they don’t take it and it goes wrong, they blame you. I prefer just being a sounding board and saying things like “what do you think?” “What is your feeling on this”

What steps do you take to keep the lines of communication open?

I’m available naked 24/7. She knows this.

How do you deal with a partner who is impossible to communicate with or doesn’t see that there is a problem?

Find a different partner.

What was one of the hardest honest conversations you ever had with a partner?

Hm. Not for public consumption, but it dealt with extended family and what needed to be done. It went well because we’re both from pretty severe dysfunctional families so she could relate.

Would you be surprised if your partner told you that you were difficult to talk to?

Nope. Been hearing it for 23 years. Not a surprise.

What steps would you take if they did?

Oh, I’ve changed how I react to her most outlandish shit. So it’s easier to finish those conversations. With both of us being happy with the outcome.

How open and honest are you about your sexual needs, thoughts, desires and perversions with your partner?

Fairly open. The kinky shit I keep for in here and writing.

Has your partner ever shared something with you that blew your mind?

Basically all the sexual harassment that she had to deal with growing up. It was a bit eye opening on just how shitty a lot of men are.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Do you have good communication with your partner? Why?
No. We really do suck at it.
It's bad patterns, mostly. He describes what he sees me doing instead of what's going on for him. I rebut because what he says he thinks I'm doing/feeling/whatever is nothing close to what's actually going on. We both feel invalidated and nothing gets resolved.

It’s often said that “women just want to be heard”. And when you offer advice (solutions), they look at you like you’re the biggest douchebag on the planet, how do we get around this?
Easy.
"That sounds xxx. Are you looking to vent or asking for advice?"
Let her tell you what she needs.

What steps do you take to keep the lines of communication open?
Emotional regulation. Blowing up makes me difficult to confide in. I actively practice staying calm, avoiding jumping to conclusions and listening to conversations the same way I listen to music; with curiosity and delight.

How do you deal with a partner who is impossible to communicate with or doesn’t see that there is a problem?
It depends
In my case; we ended the relationship. We did try therapy. That was a disaster (I still wholeheartedly recommend it, though).
Work on yourself. Don't wait for someone else to change. Stay in your lane, acknowledge your shit and get better and hotter.

What was one of the hardest honest conversations you ever had with a partner?
Discussing dropping the use of condoms with my other partner.

Would you be surprised if your partner told you that you were difficult to talk to?
No. He tells me at least once a day

What steps would you take if they did?
See above.
I also use written communication when there's something important I need to relay and welcome it reciprocated.

How open and honest are you about your sexual needs, thoughts, desires and perversions with your partner?
Not really open, to be honest. He can't handle it and I don't feel safe opening up to him about it

Has your partner ever shared something with you that blew your mind?
He's poly. That was a big conversation. I accepted that. Provided him a safe and soft spot to share that news.

 

[Apisto42]

I think honesty is completely overrated.

I've really sat with this one for a long time and I do understand that need in others. I certainly don't have it in myself.

Like everything in life, there's a lot of grey areas in all things honest and true, etc. It's a really interesting part of someone's "character" - their honesty. Because in my opinion it's still subjective.

I'm much more interested in accountability. Taking responsibility for one's self. Sometimes there may be omissions or things said with integrity that could be interpreted as not entirely true.

Fear gets in the way a lot and as humans we really do suck at navigating that.

Love this. Be there for yourself and hold yourself accountable.

 

[Endless_Night]

Interesting. I deliberately phrased that ambiguously, so that it could cover a broad range of behaviour. Including...

A hypothetical situation: you find your partner has concealed an interest in a kink which you find unacceptable. (I don't know what that might be but...maybe scat, or animals, or wearing a Putin face mask, or...pick your own).

They satisfy this interest by discreetly watching porn dedicated to this kink.

I'm curious whether, for you, that would be enough to end things?

Ah. I see. I took it in the narrow sense of having sexual relations with someone other than your partner without their knowledge. Presuming the relationship assumed monogamy.

I don't do ambiguous well.

To answer this question: If I understand your point, then, generally speaking, no. It would not end things.

That answer would be somewhat kink dependent, though. Are we talking some form of chronophilia? Then, f**k, yes.

 

[Apisto42]

Ah. I see. I took it in the narrow sense of having sexual relations with someone other than your partner without their knowledge. Presuming the relationship assumed monogamy.

I don't do ambiguous well.

To answer this question: If I understand your point, then, generally speaking, no. It would not end things.

That answer would be somewhat kink dependent, though. Are we talking some form of chronophilia? Then, f**k, yes.

Had to look that one up. And agreed.

 

[Endless_Night]

I think honesty is completely overrated.

I've really sat with this one for a long time and I do understand that need in others. I certainly don't have it in myself.

Like everything in life, there's a lot of grey areas in all things honest and true, etc. It's a really interesting part of someone's "character" - their honesty. Because in my opinion it's still subjective.

I'm much more interested in accountability. Taking responsibility for one's self. Sometimes there may be omissions or things said with integrity that could be interpreted as not entirely true.

Fear gets in the way a lot and as humans we really do suck at navigating that.

To each his own.

Accountably is a huge for me, too. It's tough. And it's amazing how often fear creeps in, no matter how often you vanquish it in single battles.

I find listening and not offering advice is better when dealing with everyone regardless of their sex. But if you give advice and it goes wrong, they blame you. If you give advice and they don’t take it and it goes wrong, they blame you.

Truth.

 

[Endless_Night]

To answer this question: If I understand your point, then, generally speaking, no. It would not necessarily end things.

You know, thinking about this I have to come back and add the qualifier.

There are just too many scenarios. Even if it wasn't an illegal kink, what if it was something that made my stomach churn? What if they knew that and hid it deliberately? What if . . . .

I could go on indefinitely. (No, really, I could. )

I get that it's not the norm, but for me, for my space, honesty is what works.

Not every thought. Not every nuance. But any information that might alter a partner's or friend's willingness to continue the relationship, then yes. And I expect the same in return. For me it's a matter of trust.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Cummunication

We seem to agree that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but then why are so many people struggling to communicate?

Do you have good communication with your partner? Why?

I dont have a partner any more. But when I was married, communication was awful. We never spoke about anything meaningful right from the beginning. And we paid the price eventually. The lack of being able to communicate ended the marriage..among other things.

It’s often said that “women just want to be heard”. And when you offer advice (solutions), they look at you like you’re the biggest douchebag on the planet, how do we get around this?

what has already been said. Listen, and ask what they want. Goes for everyone. And don't try to solve it if it can't be solved. If all else fails, offer to show them your dick. (Don't just flop it out) you might get a smile. Worked for me this week.

What steps do you take to keep the lines of communication open?

I talk. Incessantly. Inanely. Eventually I'll get to my point. And maybe they'll share theirs. Either way keep the channels open.

How do you deal with a partner who is impossible to communicate with or doesn’t see that there is a problem?

its hard. It can be the end of the relationship.

What was one of the hardest honest conversations you ever had with a partner?

Telling them I wanted a break after 7 years.of being together. The hardest I've had to listen to? Being told of a 6 year affair and 4 and a half year old half brother my kids and I never knew about.

Would you be surprised if your partner told you that you were difficult to talk to?

yes. I'm not.

What steps would you take if they did?

I would try to find out why. And what I could do to rectify it.

How open and honest are you about your sexual needs, thoughts, desires and perversions with your partner?

again, i dont have a partner. But I've made a promise to myself to be open and honest about my needs and wants. And not hide who I am.

Has your partner ever shared something with you that blew your mind?

N/A

 

[Wand3rlust]

I think honesty is completely overrated.

I've really sat with this one for a long time and I do understand that need in others. I certainly don't have it in myself.

Like everything in life, there's a lot of grey areas in all things honest and true, etc. It's a really interesting part of someone's "character" - their honesty. Because in my opinion it's still subjective.

I'm much more interested in accountability. Taking responsibility for one's self. Sometimes there may be omissions or things said with integrity that could be interpreted as not entirely true.

Fear gets in the way a lot and as humans we really do suck at navigating that.

I think honesty is separate from communication though.

But I agree. With all this.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Being told of a 6 year affair and 4 and a half year old half brother my kids and I never knew about.

Whoah

 

[Wand3rlust]

Whoah

Yeah. That conversation was a doozey.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Can I just say- I love you pervs??
Because I do!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I think honesty is completely overrated.

Like everything in life, there's a lot of grey areas in all things honest and true, etc. It's a really interesting part of someone's "character" - their honesty. Because in my opinion it's still subjective.

I'm much more interested in accountability. Taking responsibility for one's self. Sometimes there may be omissions or things said with integrity that could be interpreted as not entirely true.

To overly simplify and rely on an old trope, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
No one in their right mind answers that honestly if the answer is yes. We find other, gentler ways of conveying not a good choice.

Does that make the answer a lie? Maybe. But there's possibly a whole lot of love, tenderness, and probably integrity (like trying to avoid hurting your partner in a needless fashion) in the "lie."

 

[Endless_Night]

Being told of a 6 year affair and 4 and a half year old half brother my kids and I never knew about.

Son of a biscuit.

 

[AddyB]

This thread will replace my previous misfire:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1548350

I feel I’ve done a lot of maturing in the last 24 hours cool and now I have a better idea of what I was trying to do. I imagine most people were put off by the ridiculous title of the last thread and (hopefully) this one will attract more interest.

“Cock Talk” will be about all things cock related (and the balls for good measure).

As a Cock Carrying Member (get it?) since birth I have spent a tremendous amount of time on my own penis. Playing with it, thinking about it, thinking with it and just having a ball blasting good time.

And yet, there is still so much I don’t know about Penises in general.

So let’s talk and learn, share and laugh, and marvel at the mighty dick. Let’s face it, they are of interest to every one of us. Whether it be your own, your SO, whether it be of flesh and blood or rubber latex, heart operated or battery operated—we all enjoy Captain Creamy and the Teste Twins (to some degree or another).

So stupid me! Last night I was cutting up some hot peppers like jalapenos and red chili peppers and didn't wash my hands too good. Then when I went to bed and woke up at 3:30 am I decided to rub one out, but holy crap suddenly my cock starts burning! I definitely didn't wash my hands good enough! So always wash your hands really well if you're cutting up hot peppers or wear rubber gloves! Take it from me, not a fun time!

 

[hotwords229_A]

I prefer just being a sounding board and saying things like “what do you think?” “What is your feeling on this”

I do this too. But I sneakily add the solution into it like, “Do you think Mabel would stop making those comments to you at work if you told her the next time she says that you are going to punch her tits off?”
Or, “Have you tried cutting your bosses brake lines?”

You know, subtle wonderment suggestions.

Are we talking some form of chronophilia? Then, f**k, yes.

The fear of clowns?

If all else fails, offer to show them your dick.

This may be the best advice ever given in this thread.

 

[darkelf9]

Just came in to say I’m sad I missed the blow job chat and really hope I don’t miss the hot boy anal chat.

Not to worry, blowjobs are like buses there'll be another one along in 30mins, just got to know your route.
Not sure if you mean hot boys talking about anal or hot anal? Just don't tell the sheep shaggers, they might protest for equal rights.

 

[darkelf9]

There's this concept of shoulder to shoulder communication as opposed to face to face communication. It's much easier to talk about hard things when shoulder to shoulder.

Assuming they are both the same height and doors must be an issue. Also isn't that lyrics to a song? Oh wait I get it, they are both sitting down right.