Come take a peek inside Aussie's marriage

[Endless_Night]

Life update

I'm curious to see where your path as a couple winds. The few marriages I've seen embrace poly have all started out monogamous. They all ended up deconstructing, in their own way. At least if they continued down the poly path.

I wonder if that's typical in marriages that start out poly?

Or perhaps it's a facet of all polyamorous relationships in general - fluid in nature.


Spectacular stuff with the Librarian!

Mr. Aussie and Mrs. Montessori share dreams of a mega house where we are completely blended and whilst there are elements of that that are very appealing to me, I also recognize that if we were to combine our families my marriage would be completely over. I couldn't share a husband under the same roof.

I'd still do it, though.

Weird, huh?

No. Not weird. I totally get this.

Group marriages have always made the most sense to me when it comes to raising children. Financial security. Emotional stability. Ease of care for the adults.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Mega house.
Raising kids with Mr. Aussie and the Montessori family. Even if that means I'm no longer a wife, I'd appreciate so much of that life.

He's probably the least enthusiastic of the bunch.. He regrets the one kid he has. Adding my two to the mix would stress him all the way out.

Group marriages have always made the most sense to me when it comes to raising children. Financial security. Emotional stability. Ease of care for the adults.

I think if I had kids I would be more likely to see the benefits of an arrangement like that. Bigger village, more adults to take turns, less guilt regarding travel/work/“me” time, etc.

It’s interesting that more kids would equate to more stress for him. When they’re babies, I totally get it. As they get older though, in my experience multiples mean they can play together and entertain each other

 

[aussiegeekygal]

It’s interesting that more kids would equate to more stress for him. When they’re babies, I totally get it. As they get older though, in my experience multiples mean they can play together and entertain each other

Ours are still kind of babies. And they're feral. Like their mother

Mr. Montessori is probably the least jealous of our polycule. At least that's the way he seems to be. I have no reason to doubt him there, even if I can't understand it myself.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm doing something kind of huge. I'm looking for an office outside the home for me.

I've been working from home ever since I returned to work after the default baby incident of 2020. I was lucky enough to be in a position where I could take a year before returning to work after baby #2 (this is a very American problem to need to solve) and because we were still in a full fledged public health crisis when I returned, I set up shop here at home. I have an office in the basement and although it has windows, the room is still a little dark. I've enjoyed working in this space and am noticing the effect it's having on me and my mental health. I am basically a houseplant and need light to thrive. Being in the dark is dragging me down and affecting my ability to truly kick ass like I know I can.

I started exploring what the rental market for offices is around me and because I'm in a slightly rural area, I'm going to have to commute to one of the two local "cities" near me to find a cool space that will suit what I want. Which I'm very cool with. I miss the rhythm and routine of commuting and having that windshield time to myself.

So one of the cities would be more practical because it's close to my gym and where I usually run errands. The other city houses The Library. I'm at a junction where I get to explore my priorities and I'm learning a lot. Going to the gym is very important to me. It's helping me recover from a decade of medical issues and helping me build my mental resolve to work through hard things. I feel good when I push myself, and it's also helping me through an acute issue I'm experiencing right now that I haven't really shared about. Going to The Library is also very important to me. The way that our lives are structured means I don't get to see The Librarian often. We were meant to meet today and due to some unforeseen circumstances that couldn't happen and we're both utterly devastated. Having a space close by would mean I'd likely get to see The Librarian more, which is something I'm really interested in pursuing.

Thankfully the nature of my work allows me to essentially design my days and I'm working hard to make sure I'm taking care of myself as much as I am others.

Both of these things nourish me deeply.

I've found offices in both cities. The one near the library is fucking gorgeous and the light is incredible.
I'm touring it on Friday. I invited The Librarian to join me.

I think something pretty amazing is about to happen

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Moving your office out of the basement and house sounds like it will be fantastic no matter what. And your two location choices are both winners.

I’m excited to hear the next installment

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I think it's going to do wonders for my marriage, too.

I hate feeling housebound. I need to run free! #bordercollie

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I can relate to that. I love the convenience and efficiency of working from home, but know a good day in the office or traveling to meet with a customer energizes me in a way I can’t replicate otherwise.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can relate to that. I love the convenience and efficiency of working from home, but know a good day in the office or traveling to meet with a customer energizes me in a way I can’t replicate otherwise.

And that energy does wonders in the bedroom
At least for me

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Also, we would turn the room I currently use as an office into a bedroom for Mrs. Montessori for whenever she stays. She has a room for Mr. Aussie at hers and I think it would be cool to help figure out a way to help her feel welcome here even when I'm around. I'm sure she loves spending time here when I'm away with work. I know I really enjoy spending the night with The Librarian when his wife is away. Mr. Montessori, too.
Sleep overs are FUN

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Okay, another cool thing I discovered is at home STD lab tests. I've never done one before and I was pleasantly surprised at how convenient it was and easy enough to follow the instructions.

The STD test required a finger prick that produced blood drops to splatter enough to fill a circle with about a 1cm diameter. They're meaty drops. Not a fan of that. I have bruised finger tips still, not that bad for what it was.

I'll have my results tomorrow.
Praying to God I don't have to have any conversations.

Oh, and one of my friends currently referred to my life as a bit of a Dr. Phil episode. I'm flattered, I think?

 

[AllAmericanMale]

I am basically a houseplant and need light to thrive.

I say this to people all the time. I hate being in dimly lit rooms.

My office has plenty of windows and I'm lucky enough to have sunshine everyday.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I say this to people all the time. I hate being in dimly lit rooms.

My office has plenty of windows and I'm lucky enough to have sunshine everyday.

Exactly! I remember the difference in how I felt on workspaces with tons of natural light.
I was a vibe

 

[AllAmericanMale]

Exactly! I remember the difference in how I felt on workspaces with tons of natural light.
I was a vibe

Doesn't seem like it would make that much of a difference, but it can be drastic.

Natural light just makes me feel better.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Natural light, furnishings I love, and art put me in a completely different headspace. It’s a surprisingly stark difference.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Creatives

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Ever since this saga started back up, Mr. Aussie and I have struggled to find time for sex. I realized I relied on spontaneous flare ups paired with proximity to each other to kind of fall back together. That's been much harder to cultivate now that he goes and spends a few nights a week with Her.

I'm feeling pretty accomplished in that we just had sex and it was wonderful to reconnect. I have to figure out how to make this happen more.

 

[Razzyricho]

Exactly! I remember the difference in how I felt on workspaces with tons of natural light.
I was a vibe

I recently read a book called ‘the brain in nature’. It had profound insights into the positive effect (on our brain) of natural light, plants, and enclosed spaces (in buildings), with views and smells of nature…
Humans evolved in nature and are meant to live in nature, in harmony with it. Not in the colossal concrete jungles that cities are built from.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

And the results??? Love this insight into your life Aussie

Oh, all clear.
Practically perfect in every way.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Please don't link me

 

[aussiegeekygal]

And the song that made me all homesick

 

[Cotswolds]

 

[StillRain]

Sorry - about Tim Minchin. I’m probably gonna avoid him this year because mum and dad have gone from me and he’s all too hard on my heart too.

 

[StillRain]

Also, happy birthday.

 

[deft]

It is worth it

 

[LadyLascivious1]

That’s a lot of things to feel in a short time span. Which is awesome and awful and reminds me of a line in a movie that has always felt very relatable to me.

“Worse than the total agony of being in love?”

Is there trip home being planned yet?

And the song that made me all homesick

I was only introduced to him a few years ago, but the stuff I’ve heard of his has so far sent me into the best kind of fits of laughter. This one though…I giggled a bit, but it really hit me in the feelings. Probably because I love the holidays and was just looking at pictures and thinking I can’t believe it’s been five years since I’ve seen or talked to my Dad. Sometimes I listen to old voice mails just to hear his voice.