Companion to the Five in Five

[Tzara]

Thanks, Mistah Tz.

Whatcha hmph-ing about?

I'd say I just want to hmph you, but that might be misunderstood.

Just poemic jealous me talk, is all.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I'd say I just want to hmph you, but that might be misunderstood.

Just poemic jealous me talk, is all.

I have never been hmph-ed. G'head.

You absolutely no reason to be jealous of me. Remember the strawberry poem. Suck-age. Serious suck-age.

 

[Tzara]

I have never been hmph-ed.

Really? What a shame.

You absolutely no reason to be jealous of me. Remember the strawberry poem. Suck-age. Serious suck-age.

I like strawberries, but I don't really suck them, it's more like a bi...

Oh. You mean something else. Well, now I'm red all over my face.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Really? What a shame.
I like strawberries, but I don't really suck them, it's more like a bi...

Oh. You mean something else. Well, now I'm red all over my face.

Yep. I'm a hmph virgin. It's very sad.


You aren't. Liar.


Now you have made me want to go listen to an audio file.

 

[Tzara]

Yep. I'm a hmph virgin. It's very sad.


You aren't. Liar.


Now you have made me want to go listen to an audio file.

No, you're supposed to make an audio file. Just a reminder.

 

[Sara Crewe]

No, you're supposed to make an audio file. Just a reminder.

I think I might need a tutorial.

Or at least a 'how to get started' session.

 

[Tzara]

I think I might need a tutorial.

Or at least a 'how to get started' session.

I would be happy to "get you started."

So to speak.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I would be happy to "get you started."

So to speak.

You are so generous.

I think I might need step by step instructions on what to use and how to do it.

 

[Tzara]

You are so generous.

I think I might need step by step instructions on what to use and how to do it.

I am sorely tempted to say "I have what to use and I will show you how to do it" but that seems particularly uncharitable, even for an American.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I am sorely tempted to say "I have what to use and I will show you how to do it" but that seems particularly uncharitable, even for an American.

Such restraint.

It makes me want to rattle it a little.

 

[Tzara]

Such restraint.

It makes me want to rattle it a little.

You can't rattle an American. We have Nerves of Steel.

 

[Sara Crewe]

You can't rattle an American. We have Nerves of Steel.

It such a bad idea to tell me can't...

 

[Tzara]

It such a bad idea to tell me can't...

You're paying attention to the wrong thing there. Steel. The steel part is important.

Well, some steel part is important, anyway.

 

[Angeline]

Some wonderful stuff being written in the 5/5 folks. Sassy, your Mutiny poem is excellent. If you can write as good a poem as that about not being enough in touch with your muse to write a good poem (a circular sentence, I know), you're maybe closer to her than you realize!

And Tess, you're off to a great start. It is pure pleasure to read your distinctive poetic voice again.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I agree the thread has produced some lovely work. I just don't seem able to complete a 30/30, 5/5 is just enough to get the poetic cogs grinding.
Thank you Ange, you've always been a guide and mentor to me.

 

[Angeline]

Out of the Blue

“Wait for me” he’d said and I would have
but time moved on sweeping him away.
Distance dimmed our passion,
he wrote books that sold,
I recognized myself always alone
and waiting, just as he’d asked.

Today he called and my heart leapt
at his voice.
There were unspoken things to say
but he just said, “I have cancer.”
The room spun, the world slowed,
I could not speak so he said ‘It’s OK”
knowing I was crying.
I could hear the smile in his voice.

I'm sorry, Tess. It's a beautiful poem though, emotive and somehow quixotic.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Tristesse, very powerful poem today, made more so by the way that you reveal it.



D

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thank you both.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Lostar, your poem today packed a wallop. Strong close. I only stumbled a little about the mess the narrator helps the subject create. Could it just be 'our' mess then, and not his mess? Isn't that joint movement (the disposal of the mess) the pivotal moment that makes the narrator strong enough?

Anyway, good stuff.

 

[sassynyc]

Some wonderful stuff being written in the 5/5 folks. Sassy, your Mutiny poem is excellent. If you can write as good a poem as that about not being enough in touch with your muse to write a good poem (a circular sentence, I know), you're maybe closer to her than you realize!

And Tess, you're off to a great start. It is pure pleasure to read your distinctive poetic voice again.

Thank you Ange
Tristesse, I'm enjoying your poetry. Your first one, especially. It's been a pleasure to read you.

 

[loststar]

Lostar, your poem today packed a wallop. Strong close. I only stumbled a little about the mess the narrator helps the subject create. Could it just be 'our' mess then, and not his mess? Isn't that joint movement (the disposal of the mess) the pivotal moment that makes the narrator strong enough?

Anyway, good stuff.

thank you,
but those words while confusing are the proper ones, the whole mess is meant to be just a bit confusing (ironically so) I may need to tighten it up just a bit, or maybe letting out the corset strings would be more appropriate ...

but thank you it means alot to me

 

[champagne1982]

Mr Constantine,

Thanks for your Barbara sonnets. There's some wonderfully phrased erotica and observations in these poems.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Mr Constantine,

Thanks for your Barbara sonnets. There's some wonderfully phrased erotica and observations in these poems.

Seconded. Welcome, or welcome back, whichever is appropriate, to the PF&D, Zack.

 

[Angeline]

Dalton’s Hog Lot


before school we disappeared into the woods
across the street and listened to them squeal
and slam against the sides of the pen
as they were herded in from the stockyards.
we never knew exactly what went on there
inside the piggery. from older brothers
trying to scare us we heard stories
of the draining chamber, the steaming
collection trough, how even lips and assholes
wind up on your breakfast plate.
they put pictures in our heads—a blade
inserted like a letter opener into the neck,
the purple gush. a hose, floor tiles
graded slightly downward toward the center.
pulleys and tracks overhead where they hung
and slid. at dismissal we’d hurry back
and watch workers hard as armor plate
with blank stares and bloody smocks
scatter out the door like buckshot. our fathers
were among them, tough men
who’d knock a thumb from a son’s mouth
like pork from a shoulder bone. when they turned
the corner we followed, adopted the sullen pose
we’d come to equate with manhood.
they taught their boys the value of a sharp knife
and wore their spotted aprons home,
but never spoke to us of the misty-red rooms.
it was as if they’d been sworn to secrecy,
or our romance with their workplace disturbed them.
as if a butcher knows the distance from cutting
a pig’s throat to that of a man is but a step
and doesn’t dare mention it to those with hearts
still so dangerously close to their sleeves.


.

Off to a great start (as always), RM. And thanks for reminding me why I never eat scrapple!

Where was this, if you don't mind my asking? Feels like a Pittsburgy type poem or some northeast or rustbelt city. Actually it sounds like a disturbingly familiar place from my childhood. Those memories always dredge up the best poems, huh?

 

[TheRainMan]

Off to a great start (as always), RM. And thanks for reminding me why I never eat scrapple!

thanks much, Ange.

but damn, pork tastes so good, doesn't it? bacon especially.

like they say -- do you know what this bacon needs? . . . more bacon.

Where was this, if you don't mind my asking? Feels like a Pittsburgy type poem or some northeast or rustbelt city. Actually it sounds like a disturbingly familiar place from my childhood. Those memories always dredge up the best poems, huh?

iowa -- more cornbelty than rustbelty.

but they're all over the place. i've also seen them first-hand in the deep south.