Confess Your Embarrassing Boner Stories!

[LizVegas79]

That's quite a cross between sexy and slightly evil, imagine trying to avoid a boner when visiting your friends for the first time and his smoking hot wife appears in a bikini and then flirts like that. So many emotions at once

It wasn't the first time for any of them. It's pretty much the same group plus or minus one or two guys that comes over every Sunday during football season so they've seen it all before. They're pretty good friends and I've teased the heck out of all of them before. I just never paraded around in front of them in a bikini and fresh out of the pool before. That part was new - and fun AF!

 

[ShaneoD]

I'm going to have to calm down or this could lead to an embarrassing work boner story

 

[LizVegas79]

I'm going to have to calm down or this could lead to an embarrassing work boner story

Well, you probably guess how I feel about that - why calm down?

 

[ShaneoD]

Well, you probably guess how I feel about that - why calm down?

You've definitely caused more than a few embarrassing boners in work, and probably a few other places come to think of it. Someone that attractive enjoying being a tease is a recipe for disaster if you get embarrassed by that type of thing

 

[LizVegas79]

You've definitely caused more than a few embarrassing boners in work, and probably a few other places come to think of it. Someone that attractive enjoying being a tease is a recipe for disaster if you get embarrassed by that type of thing

My husband had to know he was in for a roller coaster when he married me.

But, over the years I think he has probably come to learn that the great thing about marrying an insecure AF Latina is that she'll pretty much do anything to feel good about herself and if you're smart (and he is smart) you can totally use that to your advantage. (which he has in numerous ways and on numerous occasions)

 

[ShaneoD]

My husband had to know he was in for a roller coaster when he married me.

But, over the years I think he has probably come to learn that the great thing about marrying an insecure AF Latina is that she'll pretty much do anything to feel good about herself and if you're smart (and he is smart) you can totally use that to your advantage. (which he has in numerous ways and on numerous occasions)

My brain instantly said "write a book" but also why be insecure, you're hot AF. Glad you've got a smart husband, and I'm not at all jealous of all of the scenarios that I can remember reading about and a few that I've made up in my own head

 

[Rickslaw101]

My husband had to know he was in for a roller coaster when he married me.

But, over the years I think he has probably come to learn that the great thing about marrying an insecure AF Latina is that she'll pretty much do anything to feel good about herself and if you're smart (and he is smart) you can totally use that to your advantage. (which he has in numerous ways and on numerous occasions)

I'm with Shane, Liz, you are fucking amazing. You never fail to make me hard. Thank you so much!

 

[LizVegas79]

My brain instantly said "write a book" but also why be insecure, you're hot AF. Glad you've got a smart husband, and I'm not at all jealous of all of the scenarios that I can remember reading about and a few that I've made up in my own head

You don't understand women very well do you?

If we were popular in elementary, middle and high school then we are usually waaaay over-confident in our 30's and 40's.

If we weren't popular in grade school, didn't get asked to prom, were geeky and nerdy and had very few friends growing up because we didn't look like anyone else, well, then basket case, or secret basket case in our 30's and 40's no matter how much we may have changed from our ugly duckling phase.

But thank you. I do appreciate being called hot AF - even though some women might give me shit for letting myself be objectified I don't care. It's a tough world out there and not always pretty. When men aren't objectifying us, we more often than not do it to ourselves. When I learned that little golden rule it changed my life and I actually stopped obsessing about the dumb shit so much

 

[ShaneoD]

You don't understand women very well do you?

If we were popular in elementary, middle and high school then we are usually waaaay over-confident in our 30's and 40's.

If we weren't popular in grade school, didn't get asked to prom, were geeky and nerdy and had very few friends growing up because we didn't look like anyone else, well, then basket case no matter how much we may have gotten over our ugly duckling phase.

But thank you. I do appreciate being called hot AF - even though some women might chastise me for letting myself be objectified.

I'm willing to bet that phase ended way before you thought it did, if it ever started, being different isn't ever a reason to see yourself as lesser, but I can relate, I didn't always have a strong Irish accent.

Also isn't being hot as much about attitude, mindset and habits rather than just being ridiculously physically attractive?

 

[LizVegas79]

I'm willing to bet that phase ended way before you thought it did, if it ever started, being different isn't ever a reason to see yourself as lesser, but I can relate, I didn't always have a strong Irish accent.

Also isn't being hot as much about attitude, mindset and habits rather than just being ridiculously physically attractive?

I leaned into the grunge girl fashion-ista thing pretty hard in the 90's and that wasn't a very flattering look for anyone. Looking back, it sort of leveled the playing field (as my husband often likes to say about things like that) and helped me feel better about myself.

And yes, I'm a firm believer that real beauty comes from the inside, not the outside. I know so many people, both women and men, who are ridiculously attractive and have skated thru life on their looks but they are horrible people to be around. It's not just that they are self-obssessed either. It's the weird sense that some "beautiful people" get that their opinions matter more than anyone else's so they feel compelled to share their opinions constantly about everything. Many of these people are the most hateful, rage-filled, racist, mis-informed, borderline psychotic people I've ever met.

So yes, true beauty comes from within imho. Everything else is smoke and mirrors and eye-shadow.

 

[nutoseen]

A few of you who are fans of my Pervy Things My Husband Does For/To Me thread have encouraged me to start this thread.

I think the title is pretty self-explanatory.

I know you guys have lots of embarrassing boner stories, but surprise, surprise! some of us ladies do too.

So ... embarrassing boner stories!
Let's hear them!

mother in law saw it and giggled a bit. later we talked and she confirmed it was small.

 

[Petereater]

My most embarrassing boner story happened the first time I had sex, it did not result in my virginity being taken but it is how I got my nick name, a nick name that has stayed with me for about 30 years. Petereater came about as a nick name from my sorority sisters..... Freshman year in college, late February, I had become part of a sorority, because I played softball, it was a sorority with several girl athletes. This guy (his name was Peter) was a transfer student and he played baseball, very good looking, and all the girls were interested in him. There was never a bet or anything, but there was an unspoken competition to see who could go out with him first, I was not really interested. I accidentally ran into him coming out of the gym one evening, he was new to the school, and the area. We talked a bit and then we made a date for the following Saturday, just to show him around Boston. I was new to the area too, it wasn't a date, date. So we spent the day sightseeing, and the evening over a casual dinner. We had fun. At the time I was still a virgin, and rather naive, and had never had a real boyfriend, so what appeared to him as playing hard to get, was just a young girl, being a young girl. After an early evening he asked me to do it again on Sunday. I agreed and we met the next morning, and again had fun sightseeing. Late in the day he kissed me, it took me by surprise.
All the guys I knew growing up in high school were friends, I hung out with them but none had ever tried to kiss me. Late in my junior year of high school(I was eighteen) I blossomed, (became more appealing to boys, my tits grew, I acquired a more feminine shape) I was not very aware of this, I still wanted to beat the boys in any way I could.
After he kissed me, my first ever from a boy, I liked it, we finished the day out by again having a casual dinner, he walked me back to the house and kissed me again, I really liked it, and ended up making out on the cold porch. He left and I went into the house, my sisters were all over me, asking questions. They were somewhat jealous. Several nights later I went on a real date with him, we ended up making out in his room, I thought that is where it would end, just making out. He took my hand and placed it in his lap, I felt his hardon . He talked me into letting him take it out, then touching it, and then trying to get me to kiss it. I was fascinated by it. When I finally took it into my hand and leaned over to kiss it, he shot his load into my face, it surprised the hell out of me, and I wanted it away from my mouth, several of his shots landed in my hair, on my face, and on my blouse. He ran into his bathroom and I ran out of his room as fast as I could. I tried to clean it up but I failed to get it out of my hair. Returning to my house, I wanted to get into my room as fast as I could, but no luck, several of my sister stopped me, his cum was quite obvious in my hair.... thus the name Petereater... it was quite embarrassing, he never talked to me again. I think he was embarrassed by cumming so fast, I was embarrassed because I ran away. It was quite sometime before I could even talk with another guy. My losing my real virginity experience was even more disastrous. It’s a wonder I ever tried sex again.


Jennifer

 

[HighPlainsDrifter]

My most embarrassing boner story happened the first time I had sex, it did not result in my virginity being taken but it is how I got my nick name, a nick name that has stayed with me for about 30 years. Petereater came about as a nick name from my sorority sisters..... Freshman year in college, late February, I had become part of a sorority, because I played softball, it was a sorority with several girl athletes. This guy (his name was Peter) was a transfer student and he played baseball, very good looking, and all the girls were interested in him. There was never a bet or anything, but there was an unspoken competition to see who could go out with him first, I was not really interested. I accidentally ran into him coming out of the gym one evening, he was new to the school, and the area. We talked a bit and then we made a date for the following Saturday, just to show him around Boston. I was new to the area too, it wasn't a date, date. So we spent the day sightseeing, and the evening over a casual dinner. We had fun. At the time I was still a virgin, and rather naive, and had never had a real boyfriend, so what appeared to him as playing hard to get, was just a young girl, being a young girl. After an early evening he asked me to do it again on Sunday. I agreed and we met the next morning, and again had fun sightseeing. Late in the day he kissed me, it took me by surprise.
All the guys I knew growing up in high school were friends, I hung out with them but none had ever tried to kiss me. Late in my junior year of high school(I was eighteen) I blossomed, (became more appealing to boys, my tits grew, I acquired a more feminine shape) I was not very aware of this, I still wanted to beat the boys in any way I could.
After he kissed me, my first ever from a boy, I liked it, we finished the day out by again having a casual dinner, he walked me back to the house and kissed me again, I really liked it, and ended up making out on the cold porch. He left and I went into the house, my sisters were all over me, asking questions. They were somewhat jealous. Several nights later I went on a real date with him, we ended up making out in his room, I thought that is where it would end, just making out. He took my hand and placed it in his lap, I felt his hardon . He talked me into letting him take it out, then touching it, and then trying to get me to kiss it. I was fascinated by it. When I finally took it into my hand and leaned over to kiss it, he shot his load into my face, it surprised the hell out of me, and I wanted it away from my mouth, several of his shots landed in my hair, on my face, and on my blouse. He ran into his bathroom and I ran out of his room as fast as I could. I tried to clean it up but I failed to get it out of my hair. Returning to my house, I wanted to get into my room as fast as I could, but no luck, several of my sister stopped me, his cum was quite obvious in my hair.... thus the name Petereater... it was quite embarrassing, he never talked to me again. I think he was embarrassed by cumming so fast, I was embarrassed because I ran away. It was quite sometime before I could even talk with another guy. My losing my real virginity experience was even more disastrous. It’s a wonder I ever tried sex again.


Jennifer

Awesome story! Thanks for sharing here

 

[LizVegas79]

I don't know how embarrassing this actually is for a guy but when I went to check in on one of our VIP guests this past Saturday to bribe him with dinner and players comps to come downstairs to the casino and gamble, he answered the door totally naked except for the towel he held around his waist. It was actually more of a tent than a towel as apparently I interrupted him from some special fun time he was having with the sultry Asian pouting on the bed. (I've seen her several times before with other guests and suspect she's a pro.) I apologized and handed him the comps as I explained why I had knocked on his door. When he didn't seem to mind talking with me and hearing about the perks I was offering, she reminded him that he wasn't having "a free conversation" with me and to either make me go away or, she added with a smile, invite me in. He did and I politely declined. He then tossed the towel over his shoulder and asked if I was sure. I took in the view. It was I must admit quite a nice view. But I explained we aren't allowed to have that kind of fun with our guests.

Looking back at it I guess he wasn't too embarrassed about it so maybe this isn't the right thread to tell this story. If anyone was embarrassed I guess maybe it was me. One, because he had chosen to stop whatever they had been doing to answer the door. And two, because he was so casual about it after he did. And three, because under different circumstances it would have been a very tempting offer.

So my question is, have any other women been embarrassed by a guy's very obvious boner when he wasn't embarrassed by it at all? Asking for a friend lol.

 

[eroticspank]

I don't know how embarrassing this actually is for a guy but when I went to check in on one of our VIP guests this past Saturday to bribe him with dinner and players comps to come downstairs to the casino and gamble, he answered the door totally naked except for the towel he held around his waist. It was actually more of a tent than a towel as apparently I interrupted him from some special fun time he was having with the sultry Asian pouting on the bed. (I've seen her several times before with other guests and suspect she's a pro.) I apologized and handed him the comps as I explained why I had knocked on his door. When he didn't seem to mind talking with me and hearing about the perks I was offering, she reminded him that he wasn't having "a free conversation" with me and to either make me go away or, she added with a smile, invite me in. He did and I politely declined. He then tossed the towel over his shoulder and asked if I was sure. I took in the view. It was I must admit quite a nice view. But I explained we aren't allowed to have that kind of fun with our guests.

Looking back at it I guess he wasn't too embarrassed about it so maybe this isn't the right thread to tell this story. If anyone was embarrassed I guess maybe it was me. One, because he had chosen to stop whatever they had been doing to answer the door. And two, because he was so casual about it after he did. And three, because under different circumstances it would have been a very tempting offer.

So my question is, have any other women been embarrassed by a guy's very obvious boner when he wasn't embarrassed by it at all? Asking for a friend lol.

Wow, this post brings up two stories! But since your question is mainly for women, I will just tell you the first story.

Years ago during my first trip to Germany, I was introduced to the nude sauna. I was at my hotel, finished a workout, and decided to go to the steam room and sauna. I got to my locker and there was a big sign saying no clothes were allowed in the steam room or sauna. No swim trunks allowed nothing but a towel. I took off everything, grabbed a towel, and headed into the spa. I looked over to the sauna and saw a woman laying on a towel completely nude. She was not freaked out by the sight of me so I realized it was coed and went inside.

We ended up talking and showering together for the next hour. She had a great body and a wonderful personality. I was not hard as a rock but I was semi-erect and a bit embarrassed about that. I felt that an erection would reveal my carnal thoughts about her and in a way see her as just a piece of meat. ( I know this is a bit of an exaggeration but very close to my thoughts.)

So I went on a crusade to ask as many women I could about this situation and how they would have felt with a strange guy sitting next to them with an erection. In general, women from Europe and countries other than the US are used to seeing men naked so an erection is not a big deal or an embarrassment. Some women would be flattered if it was a guy they found attractive and others turned off if it was someone they did not. The embarrassing part mainly comes from the guy talking to the woman in a way that is unexpected when they are attracted to him. Similar to my comments above, exposing her carnal thoughts on him.

I even found the attitude that some women see an erection as a loaded gun. If they are naked and the guy is naked and erect, it is like he has a loaded gun about to go off and the only place for it to go off is between her legs. To some women, this can be embarrassing and even scary.

ES

 

[LizVegas79]

Wow, this post brings up two stories! But since your question is mainly for women, I will just tell you the first story.

Years ago during my first trip to Germany, I was introduced to the nude sauna. I was at my hotel, finished a workout, and decided to go to the steam room and sauna. I got to my locker and there was a big sign saying no clothes were allowed in the steam room or sauna. No swim trunks allowed nothing but a towel. I took off everything, grabbed a towel, and headed into the spa. I looked over to the sauna and saw a woman laying on a towel completely nude. She was not freaked out by the sight of me so I realized it was coed and went inside.

We ended up talking and showering together for the next hour. She had a great body and a wonderful personality. I was not hard as a rock but I was semi-erect and a bit embarrassed about that. I felt that an erection would reveal my carnal thoughts about her and in a way see her as just a piece of meat. ( I know this is a bit of an exaggeration but very close to my thoughts.)

So I went on a crusade to ask as many women I could about this situation and how they would have felt with a strange guy sitting next to them with an erection. In general, women from Europe and countries other than the US are used to seeing men naked so an erection is not a big deal or an embarrassment. Some women would be flattered if it was a guy they found attractive and others turned off if it was someone they did not. The embarrassing part mainly comes from the guy talking to the woman in a way that is unexpected when they are attracted to him. Similar to my comments above, exposing her carnal thoughts on him.

I even found the attitude that some women see an erection as a loaded gun. If they are naked and the guy is naked and erect, it is like he has a loaded gun about to go off and the only place for it to go off is between her legs. To some women, this can be embarrassing and even scary.

ES

So true. Especially about why that kind of situation can be scary for us. Especially if we're alone.

But I have been around enough women from Europe or who have lived there long enough to know that you are right. European women seem to generally be much more relaxed about nudity. Their own. And with men, too.

Personally, I would find it rather amusing (and, I'll admit it, flattering and maybe even attractive) to be completely naked in a spa or by a pool or on a beach and casually chatting with a completely naked guy about good local restaurants, or the weather, or something else non-sexual, even if he had a partial, or heck, maybe a full on rager LOL.

I'm not European, but both my parents are and I'm old enough to know you guys can't always control those things. Sometimes they do have a mind of their own so we (and you) just have to grin and bear it.

Or should I say, "bare it"? LOL

 

[Yakkin]

So when I was younger, my family and my aunt went on vacation to key west. We had been out snorkeling and we all came back to the car for some lunch. I had always had a crush on my aunt forever and being out in the water all day with her in a bikini didn’t hurt at all. Well we were in the back seat eating and she asked me “Does peanut butter and jelly always do that to you?” She was looking at my hard on. I probably turned purple I was so embarrassed! She was always funny like that.

 

[eroticspank]

So true. Especially about why that kind of situation can be scary for us. Especially if we're alone.

But I have been around enough women from Europe or who have lived there long enough to know that you are right. European women seem to generally be much more relaxed about nudity. Their own. And with men, too.

Personally, I would find it rather amusing (and, I'll admit it, flattering and maybe even attractive) to be completely naked in a spa or by a pool or on a beach and casually chatting with a completely naked guy about good local restaurants, or the weather, or something else non-sexual, even if he had a partial, or heck, maybe a full on rager LOL.

I'm not European, but both my parents are and I'm old enough to know you guys can't always control those things. Sometimes they do have a mind of their own so we (and you) just have to grin and bear it.

Or should I say, "bare it"? LOL

Yes! That is what happened. I was semi-erect and we chatted about all kinds of nonsexual things for about an hour. It was my first visit to Germany and I loved it. She was such a nice lady and fun to talk with. AND I was not staring at her body or breasts!
ES

 

[eroticspank]

I don't know how embarrassing this actually is for a guy but when I went to check in on one of our VIP guests this past Saturday to bribe him with dinner and players comps to come downstairs to the casino and gamble, he answered the door totally naked except for the towel he held around his waist. It was actually more of a tent than a towel as apparently I interrupted him from some special fun time he was having with the sultry Asian pouting on the bed. (I've seen her several times before with other guests and suspect she's a pro.) I apologized and handed him the comps as I explained why I had knocked on his door. When he didn't seem to mind talking with me and hearing about the perks I was offering, she reminded him that he wasn't having "a free conversation" with me and to either make me go away or, she added with a smile, invite me in. He did and I politely declined. He then tossed the towel over his shoulder and asked if I was sure. I took in the view. It was I must admit quite a nice view. But I explained we aren't allowed to have that kind of fun with our guests.

Looking back at it I guess he wasn't too embarrassed about it so maybe this isn't the right thread to tell this story. If anyone was embarrassed I guess maybe it was me. One, because he had chosen to stop whatever they had been doing to answer the door. And two, because he was so casual about it after he did. And three, because under different circumstances it would have been a very tempting offer.

So my question is, have any other women been embarrassed by a guy's very obvious boner when he wasn't embarrassed by it at all? Asking for a friend lol.

So this^ reminds me of a hotel experience years ago that was very embarrassing for me.

I was in my room on the bed naked and masturbating. I had a copy of Penthouse Variations in one hand and my dick in my other hand. There was a knock at the door, "Housekeeping!" I jumped up and said, "there is someone in here!" and ran to the door because I remembered that I did not lock it. For some reason, she did not hear me and came into the room.

I got to the door as she opened it fully. I was completely naked, my dick at full erection, slick with oil, and a pair of black/red lace panties tied around the base. My book of Variations was still in my hand and clearly visible to her. She just looked at me shocked. It seemed like we were staring at each other for 30 seconds, but it was probably only a few seconds when she told me she was very sorry and closed the door.

I was embarrassed and I think she was too. We had this discussion in another thread and some people pointed out that the housekeeper probably sees that all the time and is no big deal. I don't really know how she felt, but she did have a red face and looked embarrassed. I think sometimes that shock of the scene, even though you may have seen it before, can cause embarrassment, especially when it catches you off guard.
ES

 

[cosycock]

So this^ reminds me of a hotel experience years ago that was very embarrassing for me.

I was in my room on the bed naked and masturbating. I had a copy of Penthouse Variations in one hand and my dick in my other hand. There was a knock at the door, "Housekeeping!" I jumped up and said, "there is someone in here!" and ran to the door because I remembered that I did not lock it. For some reason, she did not hear me and came into the room.

I got to the door as she opened it fully. I was completely naked, my dick at full erection, slick with oil, and a pair of black/red lace panties tied around the base. My book of Variations was still in my hand and clearly visible to her. She just looked at me shocked. It seemed like we were staring at each other for 30 seconds, but it was probably only a few seconds when she told me she was very sorry and closed the door.

I was embarrassed and I think she was too. We had this discussion in another thread and some people pointed out that the housekeeper probably sees that all the time and is no big deal. I don't really know how she felt, but she did have a red face and looked embarrassed. I think sometimes that shock of the scene, even though you may have seen it before, can cause embarrassment, especially when it catches you off guard.
ES

I imagine, however, that the resulting orgasm was pretty intense and heightened by the experience?

 

[eroticspank]

I imagine, however, that the resulting orgasm was pretty intense and heightened by the experience?

Yes, the result of my masturbation after the encounter with the maid was very good.
ES

 

[LizVegas79]

So this^ reminds me of a hotel experience years ago that was very embarrassing for me.

I was in my room on the bed naked and masturbating. I had a copy of Penthouse Variations in one hand and my dick in my other hand. There was a knock at the door, "Housekeeping!" I jumped up and said, "there is someone in here!" and ran to the door because I remembered that I did not lock it. For some reason, she did not hear me and came into the room.

I got to the door as she opened it fully. I was completely naked, my dick at full erection, slick with oil, and a pair of black/red lace panties tied around the base. My book of Variations was still in my hand and clearly visible to her. She just looked at me shocked. It seemed like we were staring at each other for 30 seconds, but it was probably only a few seconds when she told me she was very sorry and closed the door.

I was embarrassed and I think she was too. We had this discussion in another thread and some people pointed out that the housekeeper probably sees that all the time and is no big deal. I don't really know how she felt, but she did have a red face and looked embarrassed. I think sometimes that shock of the scene, even though you may have seen it before, can cause embarrassment, especially when it catches you off guard.
ES

According to the maid staff where I work it happens surprisingly often.

And according to them, half the time it's NOT an accident either!

 

[LizVegas79]

I imagine, however, that the resulting orgasm was pretty intense and heightened by the experience?

Yes, the result of my masturbation after the encounter with the maid was very good.
ES

You guys! LOL

Well, at least you're being honest I guess.

 

[eroticspank]

According to the maid staff where I work it happens surprisingly often.

And according to them, half the time it's NOT an accident either!

Yes, that is what we discussed in the other thread. To me, her reaction looked like genuine embarrassment...but I was horrified and very embarrassed. I imagined going out of my room and the maids walking by and snickering. At that time of my life to even have a pair of panties in my luggage was scary and thinking somebody might find them was even worse. So to get caught in the act with them was very embarrassing. But as mentioned above, it did lead to some good play time.
ES

 

[LizVegas79]

Yes, that is what we discussed in the other thread. To me, her reaction looked like genuine embarrassment...but I was horrified and very embarrassed. I imagined going out of my room and the maids walking by and snickering. At that time of my life to even have a pair of panties in my luggage was scary and thinking somebody might find them was even worse. So to get caught in the act with them was very embarrassing. But as mentioned above, it did lead to some good play time.
ES

I hope you left her a nice tip (cash!!!) on the nightstand before you checked out LOL