LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Dating Sucks!

All from the same guy? Sounds like a case of "instant gratification needed". I'd be interested in hearing about other failed (yet humorous) attempts at contacting you!
 
How's this for a first message? (again this is from a vanilla dating site)

"I would honestly love to oil you all up as your laying on your stomach, massaging youu're whole body as I do it, from your back to your ass all the way down to your legs. Completely making you feel orgasmic, spreading your cheek's as I drip oil on them. Rub the tip of my dick in-between your cheeks teasing your perfect pussyy till you want it and give it to you when you least expect it. I'd get inside of you deeper and deeper with every stroke that I take, completely working for your cum and aiming to give you multiple orgasms as you feel the rush all throughout your amazing body till your toes curl. (; "

Of course, I couldn't get past all the wrong your and you're. Geez people!

But I do wonder if this works better than the "Hi, You're pretty. How are you?" I usually get.
 
Last edited:
Loverskitten said:
How's this for a first message? (again this is from a vanilla dating site)

"I would honestly love to oil you all up as your laying on your stomach, massaging youu're whole body as I do it, from your back to your ass all the way down to your legs. Completely making you feel orgasmic, spreading your cheek's as I drip oil on them. Rub the tip of my dick in-between your cheeks teasing your perfect pussyy till you want it and give it to you when you least expect it. I'd get inside of you deeper and deeper with every stroke that I take, completely working for your cum and aiming to give you multiple orgasms as you feel the rush all throughout your amazing body till your toes curl. (; "

Of course, I couldn't get past all the wrong your and you're. Geez people!

But I do wonder if this works better than the "Hi, You're pretty. How are you?" I usually get.
Click to expand...

Well, at least he already "knows" that you have (or are) a perfect pussy.
 
midwestyankee said:
I knew you were kidding. You're undoubtedly one of those who use lolcat posters for your profile. ;)
Click to expand...

Sadly, that's not allowed. It has to be your face and people can report you if it's not.
On a related note, I recently saw a news story on online dating keywords that work and don't. "Cat, kitty, kitten" were no-no words. No wonder I'm still single. What's a kitten to do? *sigh*
 
Loverskitten said:
Sadly, that's not allowed. It has to be your face and people can report you if it's not.
On a related note, I recently saw a news story on online dating keywords that work and don't. "Cat, kitty, kitten" were no-no words. No wonder I'm still single. What's a kitten to do? *sigh*
Click to expand...

Now, now, no need for that hangdog expression on your face. ;)
 
Ok so I have a date tonight, with a guy who claims to be a lawyer, but, he keeps making odd grammatical errors. Such as just now he wrote "accept" when he should have written "except". Now I'm kind of freaking out. I mean, a LAWYER, should have those two words figured out, right?
-Scared kitten
 
Oops double post

But seriously, accept/except should be common for a lawyer especially -says the non-educated single mom.
 
Last edited:
Late to the party was usual. Lol. Yes dating can suck big time. Dealing with a jealous and possessive ex gf and it is driving me nuts. She would go balistic anytime another woman
showed me even the slightest hint of attraction/interest. Now that I am not dating her at the moment it is still the same. Oh well.
 
Dating blows. I had hopes for a minute...and, may I add, it took me 2 years of gearing up for it to finally do it, only to be an online dating disaster. Perhaps it's because I have 2 speeds in person: world's best gal pal (you can't believe how often I am relegated to the "friend zone"...perhaps I am hideous to look at and no one has ever told me yet out of sheer pity) and, ironically, fucking a guy's brains out on the regular but unable to give up the goods emotionally. I have a difficult time being my shy but delightful self at an acceptable speed, and out of sheer nervousness and the fact that I have the libido of a 16 yr old boy, I generally blow it, either by leading with sex and winding up as "that girl" in a guy's mind or by being too skittish and appearing uninterested.

Sadly, I'm not even getting any sex out of the whole miserable experience. So it's pretty much a mess. I can't fuck people I like or like people I fuck...or fuck strangers, because i have to feel very safe & confirtable...it's a whole conundrum.
 
Oh the brilliant ones are out tonight.

"Hello Pretty how are you...you got a nice and attracted face on your profile pic can i get to know you more better.? "

And this charming guy.

"I love fucking older woman", at least he's only fucking one "woman", as opposed to "women" but nothing makes you feel old like, well, being called old.

And I wish I had saved some of the 20+ messages in minutes from the 22 year old who "why not just let me fuck you once" because he lives less than 2 miles from me. "we can even do anal if you want" and "it's not too cold out we can fuck right outside" but I had to block him. Creeper
 
Last edited:
Loverskitten said:
And I wish I had saved some of the 20+ messages in minutes from the 22 year old who "why not just let me fuck you once" because he lives less than 2 miles from me. "we can even do anal if you want" and "it's not too cold out we can fuck right outside" but I had to block him. Creeper
Click to expand...

It's so reassuring to know that the fine arts of subtlety and courtship have not been forgotten by today's young men...
 
Grammar headache. Let's play find the period! How do these people finish high school?

"hey wats up my names (removed, but he didn't even capitalize it) i listen to punk ska metal and all that cool stuff i have tatts and alot of them and no were near done their addicting cant help it i like the outdoors camping hiking snowboarding even though i suck at it im still down even wen i fall and it hurts well im here to meet someone and see wat happens if anything u get a friend"

I can't go on...
 
Maybe I'm overly sensitive but I think this is a creepy first message.

"Hi K!! You look adorable and ooze with mischief ... lol. I can only imagine what you must have been like as a little girl ... LOL  "
 
Loverskitten said:
Maybe I'm overly sensitive but I think this is a creepy first message.

"Hi K!! You look adorable and ooze with mischief ... lol. I can only imagine what you must have been like as a little girl ... LOL  "
Click to expand...
You might want to get that oozing problem looked at by a trained professional.
Signed,
A. Trained. Professional
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

H
Mature married man looking for mature woman
Replies
2
Views
244
Happytime57
H
Wolfblackthorne
Looking for someone to bounce ideas off of
Replies
3
Views
193
PennyThompson
PennyThompson
H
Mature man Looking for mature woman
Replies
17
Views
908
Wilson695
W
B
Never Would've Guessed - Panties!
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
Chefbgrif
Chefbgrif
M
51 M4F - Writer by trade, Daddy Dom by nature, going hiking in the desert. Will you be here when I return?
Replies
4
Views
199
Madwriter74
M
Back
Top