Dear X,

[Emerson40]

That would be a little... Uncomfortable.

I agree.

Though perhaps not unconceivable for one accustomed to cacti in the a-nye.

I have no visual accompaniment to this in the vault, and zero desire to search any out.

Perhaps our learned colleague NightL can work his visionary magic and produce something equal parts disturbing, and hilarious.

 

[NightL]

heard this little porky prickles - ah pig is looking for a pmann

 

[BeachMomma]

Dear vodka,

I love you.

Love,
Me

 

[BeachMomma]

Dear rainy,

It's sober up o'clock. Last night was fucked up o'clock. . I'm so glad I don't get hangovers! Gotta be at work and faking alert and oriented in 20 minutes.

I hope you have a great night! If you can find them, you should try cake vodka and s'mores vodka. Yummy!

Love,
Beachy

 

[NightL]

 

[NightL]

I think Em's wine'o'clock imagery is forever imprinted

 

[Lord Pmann]

heard this little porky prickles - ah pig is looking for a pmann

When pigs fly outta my arse. Or into them.

 

[Emerson40]

When pigs fly outta my arse. Or into them.

Dear pmann,

A man's gotta set goals. Well done.

But how many arses ya got? Them?


Curiously,

Accounting of the arses

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear pmann,

A man's gotta set goals. Well done.

But how many arses ya got? Them?


Curiously,

Accounting of the arses

Dear Em,

I have but one arse. Unless you count my beloved Rainshine, who is a smart arse to the fullest extent of the word. Then I have two.

One Arsed (unless you count the beautiful precipitous one),

Pmann






Dear Rainshine,

You ARE such a little smart arse. God you are.

Dapperly and heterosexually yours,

Pmann

 

[NightL]

Unless you count my beloved Rainshine, who is a smart arse to the fullest extent of the word.

...just waiting

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Em,

I have but one arse. Unless you count my beloved Rainshine, who is a smart arse to the fullest extent of the word. Then I have two.

One Arsed (unless you count the beautiful precipitous one),

Pmann

Dearest pmann,

Thanks for being a great sport and clarifying that for everyone.

I'll put you down for the pair then.

One last thing, if I could indulge you just once more. Is a Village Gay more gay than a City Gay?

 

[BeachMomma]

...just waiting

*plops down beside NightCrawler and steals his popcorn*

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dearest pmann,

Thanks for being a great sport and clarifying that for everyone.

I'll put you down for the pair then.

One last thing, if I could indulge you just once more. Is a Village Gay more gay than a City Gay?

Dear Em,

I have been told, from the perfect lips of my beloved Rainshine, that I am the gayest of the gays. She also gave the title of the Village Gay. So, based on that, I'm going to say that I'm gayer than a city gay. Maybe by at least three cocks. I would like to point out that Rainshine believes me to be the only gay in the village.

While all of these words are not true, she derives them from the fact that I'm completely and totally fashion forward. She mistakes my ability to properly match shoes and belts with my ability to take a few cocks. I must say that my fashion choices are completely rugged and amazing. In fact, I got hit on just yesterday by someone, strictly because of my fashion. So whatdya say to that, my little fucker?

Ruggedly Yours,

Pmann Glimmerwinks


*your link/attachment doesn't work, mate*

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Em,

I have been told, from the perfect lips of my beloved Rainshine, that I am the gayest of the gays. She also gave the title of the Village Gay. So, based on that, I'm going to say that I'm gayer than a city gay. Maybe by at least three cocks. I would like to point out that Rainshine believes me to be the only gay in the village.

While all of these words are not true, she derives them from the fact that I'm completely and totally fashion forward. She mistakes my ability to properly match shoes and belts with my ability to take a few cocks. I must say that my fashion choices are completely rugged and amazing. In fact, I got hit on just yesterday by someone, strictly because of my fashion. So whatdya say to that, my little fucker?

Ruggedly Yours,

Pmann Glimmerwinks

Mr Glimmerwinks,

What I would say is that the gentleman who hit on you yesterday was able to discern an exceptional, rugged, gay villager with impeccable fashion sense, from the regular, rugged village gay who fashions some sense of his own.

PS - link fixed.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Mr Glimmerwinks,

What I would say is that the gentleman who hit on you yesterday was able to discern an exceptional, rugged, gay villager with impeccable fashion sense, from the regular, rugged village gay who fashions some sense of his own.

PS - link fixed.

I did not say it was a man that hit on me.

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Em,

It was a man. A man named K-Ron in an aqua Versace shirt and white pants no less.

Sincerely,
Truth Teller

Dear Pmann,

Versace! Pmann, snap that sugar daddy up.

M

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear RS,

Mission accomplished then.

smooches,
M

 

[Emerson40]

I did not say it was a man that hit on me.

Dearest Glimmerywinker,

You didn't have to.


Respectfully,

Reading between the fashion forward lines.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Pmann,

Versace! Pmann, snap that sugar daddy up.

M

Dear Saucy,

He did have on Versace, yes. But he was working at Costco. There is nothing wrong with working at Costco, make no mistake. But it does not provide the kind of income needed to support a $250 shirt habit. K-Ron has a bit too much debt for my taste.

Still (and always) Into Rainshine and Not Men,

Pmann

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Pmann,

Understandable as RS is totally adorable--but how do you know that K-Ron isn't just a bored millionaire who keeps the Costco gig as a way of meeting fashion forward men with giant cocks? There do seem to be a lot of those running around the Costco up here in PA, where the men are men and the sheep run scared. Why I tripped over a giant cock at the Costco just the other day.

I must admit I have never visited a Costco down in FL so I don't know what sort of gent frequents such an establishment in yonder fair state.

M

 

[Emerson40]

Dearest Pmannerywinks,

I had heard that you hung up your chartreuse ascot for a more somber blue one.

Just a quick note to let Lit's Dedicated Follower of Fashion know I was just taking the piss.

I know you are all man - a self-pampering, fashion forward metrosexual kinda fella, but all man nonetheless, with a proclivity for the ladies.

I don't know this K-Ron or how he rocks Versace, but I'm sure any considerations you may have entertained to stroll through his walk-in closet were tempered by your lusty desire to feel a woman's bits on your bits.

But Costco... C'mon, how fashion forward are Kirkland sweatpants?


Repentantly yours,

Shaking it no more than four times lest I may start playing with it.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Saucy,

You are correct. I do not know if he is a millionaire just kicking it at Costco for the poon that comes along with it. I can't say for sure. All I know is that he was not quite the mate I seek.

Dearest Pmannerywinks,

I had heard that you hung up your chartreuse ascot for a more somber blue one.

Just a quick note to let Lit's Dedicated Follower of Fashion know I was just taking the piss.

I know you are all man - a self-pampering, fashion forward metrosexual kinda fella, but all man nonetheless, with a proclivity for the ladies.

I don't know this K-Ron or how he rocks Versace, but I'm sure any considerations you may have entertained to stroll through his walk-in closet were tempered by your lusty desire to feel a woman's bits on your bits.

But Costco... C'mon, how fashion forward are Kirkland sweatpants?


Repentantly yours,

Shaking it no more than four times lest I may start playing with it.

Dear Em,

I can assure you I was only looking for bulk purchases of lotion, shaving gel, moisturizer, eyelash curlers, foundation and razors. No sweatpants. I was just stocking up on man stuff, ya heard me?

My desire for K-Ron was nil. All I could think of was my beloved Rainshine and how she would take a piss on me about all of this. Sometimes I think the universe mocks me. Sometimes I feel as if it literally throws things from the sky to torture me.

Grimacing,

Pmann

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear manager,

You told me to process the request immediately. I did. Now you looked at it and decided I shouldn't have handled it--you know after its a done deal. I would really really like to kick you in the crotch. Bite me bitch.

disgruntled employee

Dear clock,

Why the fuck do you not say 4:30 pm yet? Huh? Come on now.

disgruntled clockwatcher

Dear Pmann,

I know what you mean about the universe. It has a seriously sick sense of humor.

M

 

[Eilan]

Dear former student and current Facebook friend,

You don't know I did this, but I screencapped that comment you made about me on your graduation day. On really crappy days, like today, I look at it. At least I made a difference to someone.

 

[xxamendsxx]

.............