Dear X,

[imemkay]

Dear Nut Kicker,

I hope your friend realized how lucky he is that you're not kicking him to the curb, and smartens up.

Thank you for offering your services. They may come in handy....if not on my friend, then on her slimey boyfriend.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream last night where you and I were having a girls night out. In that dream, you had the most horrendous driving skills and I feared for my life a couple of times. LOL Please tell me that in real life you are a safe, conscientious driver. I woke up scared for your life!

Be safe out there,
M

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Nut Kicker,

I hope your friend realized how lucky he is that you're not kicking him to the curb, and smartens up.

Thank you for offering your services. They may come in handy....if not on my friend, then on her slimey boyfriend.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream last night where you and I were having a girls night out. In that dream, you had the most horrendous driving skills and I feared for my life a couple of times. LOL Please tell me that in real life you are a safe, conscientious driver. I woke up scared for your life!

Be safe out there,
M

Dear lady in terror of my driving skills,

I'm actually a pretty good driver. Only one ticket in all my years behind the wheel, and that was a driving at unsafe speeds, no points. I've never had an accident either. I do have a little bit of a lead foot, but nothing serious, and I'm very polite. Next time I head up your way to visit my younger brother, I will have to stop and see you and we will have a girls night out. I will either let you drive, or I can meet you somewhere. lol

Yours in traffic court,
Lead foot Magee

 

[imemkay]

Dear lady in terror of my driving skills,

I'm actually a pretty good driver. Only one ticket in all my years behind the wheel, and that was a driving at unsafe speeds, no points. I've never had an accident either. I do have a little bit of a lead foot, but nothing serious, and I'm very polite. Next time I head up your way to visit my younger brother, I will have to stop and see you and we will have a girls night out. I will either let you drive, or I can meet you somewhere. lol

Yours in traffic court,
Lead foot Magee

Dear Lead foot Magee,

I'm glad to hear that you're a good driver. I've got a bit of a lead foot, myself, so I can't say anything about that. As for girls night out, I don't drink, so I can be the DD if you want.

Your Fellow Lead Foot

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear 60 year old toddler . . .

My proper upbringing prevents me from using the language appropriate to this post.

 

[imemkay]

Dear NM,

Your restraint is impressive. I've recently been able to clean up my potty language, thanks to the positive example of a special someone. Sometimes, though, you just have to drop an F bomb. Go ahead, we'll all cover our ears.

M

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear NM,

Your restraint is impressive. I've recently been able to clean up my potty language, thanks to the positive example of a special someone. Sometimes, though, you just have to drop an F bomb. Go ahead, we'll all cover our ears.

M

I have not lost all restraint just yet, but my last nerve is getting awfully tender!

 

[OTCurve]

Dear Brain,

Would you please stop playing this song? I know you like it, I know it is from one of your favorite books, but it is getting silly.

It's not a bad song, well, chant, but it is rather dark and moody and while normally I welcome such, it has been a heck of a month. As you well know!

Sincerely,
Rest of Me

 

[Christopher2012]

Dear X,

Thanks for totally destroying our team. Our plans to meet deadline by Tuesday are now just thrown out the window. Your inability to calmly communicate your concerns or worries has now nullified all of our efforts to progress. We had given you so much. We taught you so much, we encouraged you, and we never scolded you for a lack of performance. Your fear of executing the game plan that YOU suggested has caused the ones who cared about you to suffer.

You will not be welcomed back. And good luck finding a group of people who were as helpful as us. You will come face-to-face with those who will laugh at your lack of experience. It will be 6+ months before you will even be at the point you were with us.

Thanks for ruining my night, our friends' night, and forcing our hand to come up with a Plan B with such time constraints.

As for the rest of my friends who have done so much to put this team together, sho ga nai. We'll bounce back. No worries.

Sincerely,
Hroki Silviudottir

 

[sweetmelody93]

Dear X
Don't make me regret this.

C.

 

[bailadora]

Dear Scholastic:

I really do want to support my kids' school by purchasing books through the book fair. But you gotta make your prices more reasonable! When I can get the same damn book for 6 bucks less at the chain store vs buying through you, that's saying something!

Sincerely,

Little Miss Frugal

 

[unregistered]

 

[bailadora]

It's Book Fair week here, too. I love it, but I am finding the same issue with pricing.

I know, right? I still ended up spending a fair amount for books not on the shelf at Target, but I initially thought I'd get the last Heroes of Olympus book , too. Not when I saw how much extra they were charging. It's nuts.

 

[unregistered]

 

[bailadora]

My good friend just finished the last HoO book and he's dying to talk about it. That's on my list, too. I may just need to run to Target.

I enjoyed it. I kind of wish he'd do a full length HoO/Kane Chronicles crossover novel. There have been two short stories that I know of, but I really think he could get additional mileage there. I can just see Sadie, Annabeth and Reyna kicking ass all over the place. Not to mention Carter, Percy and Jason. Greek, Roman and Egyptian mythology. What's not to like?

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear icepick that seems to have lodged itself into the muscles of my neck and right shoulder,

Could you please go away? I kind of need to look to the left occasionally and Owwwwwwie owie owie ouch!

Thanks so much,
she who is looking longingly at the muscle relaxers, and analgesics. (Not anal geezers--in case there were any misunderstandings there.)

 

[CoralRose13]

Dear Admirer,

I hope we can work it out to meet soon. You sound like fun.

 

[LithiumKiss]

Dear X ~ And to any man who's been rebuffed once things have become intimate, never think that an act of respect is wasted.

I bumped into you recently after not seeing you for more than fifteen years - since I was at uni. I was nineteen years old when we all went to a student club night, everyone from my female houseshare and your neighbouring male one. They were selling snakebite and black for £1 a pint, long back before the days of jagerbombs and vodka-redbulls, snakebite (a potent mix of lager and cider) was our slow suicide of choice. Petite and unaccustomed to heavy drinking, I was rapidly outpaced by everyone else and was soon inebriated past the point of sound judgement.

You asked me to dance and when I refused you stayed with me while everyone else threw shapes and we got to talking. I have no recollection of what we chatted about but it was one of those deep, ardent conversations born of drunkenness that seems like the meaning of life at the time. By the end of the evening we were kissing and when we got back to the houseshare it didn't take much persuading for you to wind up in my room.

Sometime in the early hours of the following morning you made your move on me and we basically fell on one another in a booze fuelled frenzy. You wound up on top of me and as I got rolled over onto my back a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over me, accompanied by the realisation of what I was about to do. I had never had a one-night-stand before and knew categorically that we were never going to date. All of a sudden my arousal was doused in ice cold water and instead of firing me up, your attentions instantly repulsed me. I realised with a wave of absolute panic that I was in way over my head here.

It took you more than a moment to register my change of heart. We were both drunk, I had been more than encouraging and if things had gone further than I would have liked them to, I would have held myself more than partly responsible. Even as I asked you to stop, I felt guilty for inflicting what would no doubt be a scorching case of blue-balls on you, my horny teenaged suitor. You were already on top of me, we were already semi-clad. I could feel your weight on me and wondered what would happen when I opened my mouth.

Once you realised I was serious about backing out of the fuck however, you got up off of me and adjusted your clothing. There was no coercion, guilt tripping or cajoling. There was no anger or mockery. No ill feeling of any description. You took me at my word and did not take my sudden reluctance personally. You just went back to your own houseshare disappointed.

The next day, when I couldn't meet your gaze, you impressed me further. Instead of embellishing what happened to boost your standing with your friends, you just shrugged and said that nothing much happened in the end. We were both a bit drunk. End of discussion. There were no sly winks or lies by omission, allowing your housemates to fill in the blanks with their own lurid details. You remained friends with me and made it clear that our moment of drunken silliness was no big deal.

If you only knew what you achieved that night.

Until that night I had been drifting steadily further towards the gay end of my bi spectrum. My father was a career alcoholic who was regularly aggressive and emotionally abusive... occasionally violent. I saw hetero relationships as an ongoing battle of wills that the woman always lost. When I matured enough to be of interest to boys my own age, their hormone fuelled obsession with sex and the aggressive pushiness it caused just made me retreat further from guys entirely. Lads I had known since childhood suddenly sprouted height, hair and muscle. Their voices deepening and their appetites awakening. I found masculinity threatening, little wonder that I was drawn to girls first. It was a mantra repeated so often amongst my female friends that it had been reduced to an acronym; 'amab' or 'all men are bastards.'

For the first time in my life I couldn't say that any more. That was profound for me.

For the first time in my life, I began to look upon the prospect of hetero relations with a degree of optimism and hope.

You handed me back some of the self esteem my parents had corroded over the years. You made me realise that it was possible to reclaim even more over time, with a more positive outlook and a greater sense of self-love and acceptance.

You achieved all this totally unwittingly, in the space of five minutes, with one act of respect.

And as a consequence I will never forget you.

Thank you.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Dear X ~ And to any man who's been rebuffed once things have become intimate, never think that an act of respect is wasted.

I bumped into you recently after not seeing you for more than fifteen years - since I was at uni. I was nineteen years old when we all went to a student club night, everyone from my female houseshare and your neighbouring male one. They were selling snakebite and black for £1 a pint, long back before the days of jagerbombs and vodka-redbulls, snakebite (a potent mix of lager and cider) was our slow suicide of choice. Petite and unaccustomed to heavy drinking, I was rapidly outpaced by everyone else and was soon inebriated past the point of sound judgement.

You asked me to dance and when I refused you stayed with me while everyone else threw shapes and we got to talking. I have no recollection of what we chatted about but it was one of those deep, ardent conversations born of drunkenness that seems like the meaning of life at the time. By the end of the evening we were kissing and when we got back to the houseshare it didn't take much persuading for you to wind up in my room.

Sometime in the early hours of the following morning you made your move on me and we basically fell on one another in a booze fuelled frenzy. You wound up on top of me and as I got rolled over onto my back a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over me, accompanied by the realisation of what I was about to do. I had never had a one-night-stand before and knew categorically that we were never going to date. All of a sudden my arousal was doused in ice cold water and instead of firing me up, your attentions instantly repulsed me. I realised with a wave of absolute panic that I was in way over my head here.

It took you more than a moment to register my change of heart. We were both drunk, I had been more than encouraging and if things had gone further than I would have liked them to, I would have held myself more than partly responsible. Even as I asked you to stop, I felt guilty for inflicting what would no doubt be a scorching case of blue-balls on you, my horny teenaged suitor. You were already on top of me, we were already semi-clad. I could feel your weight on me and wondered what would happen when I opened my mouth.

Once you realised I was serious about backing out of the fuck however, you got up off of me and adjusted your clothing. There was no coercion, guilt tripping or cajoling. There was no anger or mockery. No ill feeling of any description. You took me at my word and did not take my sudden reluctance personally. You just went back to your own houseshare disappointed.

The next day, when I couldn't meet your gaze, you impressed me further. Instead of embellishing what happened to boost your standing with your friends, you just shrugged and said that nothing much happened in the end. We were both a bit drunk. End of discussion. There were no sly winks or lies by omission, allowing your housemates to fill in the blanks with their own lurid details. You remained friends with me and made it clear that our moment of drunken silliness was no big deal.

If you only knew what you achieved that night.

Until that night I had been drifting steadily further towards the gay end of my bi spectrum. My father was a career alcoholic who was regularly aggressive and emotionally abusive... occasionally violent. I saw hetero relationships as an ongoing battle of wills that the woman always lost. When I matured enough to be of interest to boys my own age, their hormone fuelled obsession with sex and the aggressive pushiness it caused just made me retreat further from guys entirely. Lads I had known since childhood suddenly sprouted height, hair and muscle. Their voices deepening and their appetites awakening. I found masculinity threatening, little wonder that I was drawn to girls first. It was a mantra repeated so often amongst my female friends that it had been reduced to an acronym; 'amab' or 'all men are bastards.'

For the first time in my life I couldn't say that any more. That was profound for me.

For the first time in my life, I began to look upon the prospect of hetero relations with a degree of optimism and hope.

You handed me back some of the self esteem my parents had corroded over the years. You made me realise that it was possible to reclaim even more over time, with a more positive outlook and a greater sense of self-love and acceptance.

You achieved all this totally unwittingly, in the space of five minutes, with one act of respect.

And as a consequence I will never forget you.

Thank you.

I'm not often terribly serious around here. But in all honesty that was lovely. Thank you for sharing, and I am sure I am not the only one wondering whether this man, whom you say you recently met again, might perhaps read this. I hope so.

 

[CoralRose13]

Dear X,

I wish we could have worked it out. Too bad we both have too much drama going on at the same time. Thank you for the fantasies.

 

[laguy37]

.....

 

[imemkay]

Dear Assholes of the world,

If you can't be pleasant, keep your grumpy selves at home.
There's really no need to be so rude and so nasty.

Also

Dear Stinkies,

SOAP. Use some, PLEASE. .
I was honestly worried I might vomit.

That is all.

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Imemkay,

Honey you crack me up.

Hope you avoid the assholes and the stinkies, and especially the stinky assholes tomorrow.

still giggling,
Minxy

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Assholes of the world,

If you can't be pleasant, keep your grumpy selves at home.
There's really no need to be so rude and so nasty.

Also

Dear Stinkies,

SOAP. Use some, PLEASE. .
I was honestly worried I might vomit.

That is all.

Dear Imemkay,

Honey you crack me up.

Hope you avoid the assholes and the stinkies tomorrow.

still giggling,
Minxy

Ditto.

Doubly so, for stinky assholes.

 

[bailadora]

Dear Drama Teacher:

You have got to be the most disorganized person I've ever seen. Look, I've know rehearsals don't always go according to plan. But you've had my kid for five fucking hours, and only half an hour of that entire time was devoted to actual rehearsal.

Then to hold them an extra half hour to discuss who is still missing costume pieces, what the tech crew needs to wear, and all manner of other shit that should have been figured out long before the dress rehearsal?

Not to mention the four extra surprise 4 hour rehearsals you sprang on the kids the day before they were supposed to occur. Unbelievable.

She'll do her part, but then we're done. I won't have my kid stressed about completing homework assignments because you can't get your shit together enough to hold efficient rehearsals.

And you can bet your ass your superior will be hearing from me, because this is fucking ridiculous.

Signed.

Pissed Off Mama Bear

 

[imemkay]

Dear Minxy & Em,

I'm glad I was able to give you a laugh.
Today was a much better day! No grumpies and no stinkies!

M