Dear X:

[notalwaysweak]

Dear A, B, D, J, and M,

I keep lapsing into blaming myself for the breakdown of our respective friendships, but then I remember that you were the ones responsible for the absence of communication. I put in my effort, you didn't, go fuck yourselves.

Love,
L

 

[kimuk]

Sometimes the hardest things just make us stronger.

Thank you x

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

Really big hugs.
And the offer of a shoulder.
Or just a thought. X

 

[IrisAlthea]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

I'm the same kind of fuckwad. Not much consolation, I know but perhaps indication that we're the human generic kind of fuckwad. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

I don't know how to die, as I haven't done it yet, so I don't know what to say to that... except now, for some reason, I hope that I can somehow not be a fuckwad when I do. That said, when something or someone is taken from you, I think it is a reasonable response to be angry for both fuckwads and nonfuckwads.

Speaking to the pain of it all though, maybe it is because like it or not, dying is kind of easy in its simple sort of finality, it's the living and the loving that can be terribly hard.

Hug.

 

[gypsy*seer]

Deege...
You're not a fuckwad because the thought of losing this person causes you pain.
Of course, it effects you. You love them. And all too often, it's hardest to step ahead of what is causing our pain, to overcome, and be able to put the one that we love so dear's situation in proper perspective.

Their perspective.

Gentle hugs and warmest thoughts to you, my friend.

 

[sheablue]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

What kind of fuckwad does that? The kind of fuckwad that gets left behind. Meaning ... all of us. So sorry, DGE. That really really sucks.

 

[desireinyellow]

I finally got the courage to see you after all these years... Get ready because I won't have any sympathy.

 

[kimuk]

Dear X

I'm hanging onto the rollercoaster as tight as I can. But the last twist was the worse ever.

 

[Babyslave]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

What kind? A caring, loving, hurting, scared fuckwad. That's who. And you are feeling what you feel. You can't force yourself in, yet you hurt to be shut out. It sucks, and it's more painful than you ever imagined it would be. A whole different sort of heartbreak that there is no relief from.

So? Feel what you feel. Don't bury it, but find a proper outlet for it. Punching bag, a long exhausting run, something you can take that anger out on. So you can show the one you love that you are there despite what you yourself are feeling.

DGE? I ache for you, and would love to give you the longest most caring hug I could. It's not selfish to want them to give what they can't. It's hard to accept that they need to do this their way. It's their right, just as the anger you feel is yours.

Though these words may sound empty to you now, please know that you are liked, loved, thought about and cared for by so many here. And we're sending you all the support and positive energy we can.

 

[kimuk]

You're dying. You shut me out. It's your right. But it hurts. And I am so angry at you for shutting me out. And I hate myself for being angry at you. How self-centered am I that I am so angry at you? What kind of fuckwad does that?

Sending love and warm wishes from across the pond from the UK. From me and my Master.
We have no concept of what your going through. But you have lots of support and affection here and I hope that helps even if its just a tiny bit, x

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Dear X,

First pool party of the summer! Perfect Cali weather, prepping the grill for ribs and chicken, gorgeous greens, potato, and fruit salads... The music is bumping, the breeze blowing, and water hammocks floating... It is perfect really.

Well, almost. I wish you were here.

~~

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Really big hugs.
And the offer of a shoulder.
Or just a thought. X

I'm the same kind of fuckwad. Not much consolation, I know but perhaps indication that we're the human generic kind of fuckwad. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

I don't know how to die, as I haven't done it yet, so I don't know what to say to that... except now, for some reason, I hope that I can somehow not be a fuckwad when I do. That said, when something or someone is taken from you, I think it is a reasonable response to be angry for both fuckwads and nonfuckwads.

Speaking to the pain of it all though, maybe it is because like it or not, dying is kind of easy in its simple sort of finality, it's the living and the loving that can be terribly hard.

Hug.

Deege...
You're not a fuckwad because the thought of losing this person causes you pain.
Of course, it effects you. You love them. And all too often, it's hardest to step ahead of what is causing our pain, to overcome, and be able to put the one that we love so dear's situation in proper perspective.

Their perspective.

Gentle hugs and warmest thoughts to you, my friend.

What kind of fuckwad does that? The kind of fuckwad that gets left behind. Meaning ... all of us. So sorry, DGE. That really really sucks.

What kind? A caring, loving, hurting, scared fuckwad. That's who. And you are feeling what you feel. You can't force yourself in, yet you hurt to be shut out. It sucks, and it's more painful than you ever imagined it would be. A whole different sort of heartbreak that there is no relief from.

So? Feel what you feel. Don't bury it, but find a proper outlet for it. Punching bag, a long exhausting run, something you can take that anger out on. So you can show the one you love that you are there despite what you yourself are feeling.

DGE? I ache for you, and would love to give you the longest most caring hug I could. It's not selfish to want them to give what they can't. It's hard to accept that they need to do this their way. It's their right, just as the anger you feel is yours.

Though these words may sound empty to you now, please know that you are liked, loved, thought about and cared for by so many here. And we're sending you all the support and positive energy we can.

Sending love and warm wishes from across the pond from the UK. From me and my Master.
We have no concept of what your going through. But you have lots of support and affection here and I hope that helps even if its just a tiny bit, x

Thank you all.

 

[intothewoods]

Thank you all.

So sorry DGE. I think shutting you out is a normal protective instinct - wanting to protect you, her, I don't know. It must suck ass but life is a fucking bitch, isn't it? Hang in there.

 

[naughtabell]

Dear X,

I'm so excited for this opportunity. The only thing holding me back is you. I hear all the stories...

I'm going for this but I'm stepping lightly. I'm not sure how you and I are going to handle one another - guess that comes with the territory. I guess I will just have to keep reminding myself that we are both passionate about what we do and we both just want what is best.

Please just give me the independence I need and I promise you this will be one of the best decisions you've ever made.

Thanks
-Me

(Also - you don't have to be so paranoid...sometimes a joke is really just a joke.)

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Dear X,

Still.

Me

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

So sorry DGE. I think shutting you out is a normal protective instinct - wanting to protect you, her, I don't know. It must suck ass but life is a fucking bitch, isn't it? Hang in there.

I guess this is correct. I have a bulging junk drawer of emotions, time is running out, and no way to make sense of anything. I can't communicate the depth of my rage or sadness right now. Not now. I can't. Maybe I can put a little of it here.

 

[Dianthus]

I guess this is correct. I have a bulging junk drawer of emotions, time is running out, and no way to make sense of anything. I can't communicate the depth of my rage or sadness right now. Not now. I can't. Maybe I can put a little of it here.

Put it all here. We'll keep it until you can sort through the drawer.

 

[naughtabell]

Dear X,

It would be nice if when I'm down you didn't throw god in my face. Your beliefs are not mine. I don't need to be told when something bad happens it is because I have "disappointed god." REALLY?!

Fuck off - I don't need your sympathy (or your archaic, hate-filled, hypocritical belief system either!)

Thanks for nothing,

Me

 

[FluteMaster]

Dear X,

What can I say? You say what you want, then bitch me out when I don't do it your way. Is that what you call being a "friend"?

Anyway, I'm here if you want to talk...but the ball is in your court.

Until then, I'm going to go do other things.

Me.

 

[BiBunny]

Dear Annoying People At Work,

Please go die in a fire. Simultaneously.

Thanks.

~Bunny

 

[welkin]

Dear X,

I know you're probably still angry at me. I wish you will reconnect with me soon.
(And I hope you aren't deliberately extending the silence to punish me.)

W

 

[CurvAppeal]

Dear X,

i'm not sure why i still think about you. There is no reason to. It hurts that you constantly shut me out even when I'm the one person you can trust the most that has never let you down. I guess it's a defense mechanism but...idk. Every time you call, it's all about you. You never ask me how my day is and you never consider my feelings whenever you decide to be brutally honest at all of the wrong times. I know that there is never a right time, but save it for the times my emotional pain isn't turning into a physical pain. The past year and 1/2 that I've wasted my time with you, all of me wants to regret it but I know I've learned a lot and that you were a stepping stone. All I want is for when we talk that you ask about my life ... too. The ball is in your court and I'm no longer making the effort to talk to you. I wish you well and happiness and love.... bye.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Dear MP,
As I look back and read all of our old posts on Lit, it makes me miss you more than I did before I started reading (if that's even possible) my heart breaks every day because you're not here. As i was reading the posts I came across some that were from when our "break up" was starting. I was so terrible to you back then, I know I told you I was sorry, but I want to say it again. I am so very sorry for the way things went, for the way I acted and how I put everything and everyone in front of you. the truth is, I was scared. scared to move forward with our relationship and move in together so I just started distancing myself from you. I wonder now if things would have been different, would you still be here? I'm not blaming myself for your death, I know it was a blood clot, I just wonder if things hadn't ended between us would I have seen the signs of trouble and got you to the doctor in time?

You were my world, even after our "break up" You were still the one I came to, still the one i leaned on when things in my life were terrible. I miss your voice, I miss hearing you tell me you love me. Will it ever get easier? You were my best friend, the only person in this world that TRULY knew me, everything about me. wherever you are, PLEASE continue to watch over me. you taught me so much about love, about life. there will always be this empty space that no one else will ever be able to fill. know that you are still loved and thought of every single minute of every single day! we will meet again one day......until then...Fly High, Master. I love you

Forever Your "rose"