Define: Fetish.

[Riles]

I, like many others feel flushed every time you use that current av.....'cuz I have a butt thing....

OooOooh! "Butt things"!

Now you're speaking my language.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Are we far off the point?
If you ask me, fetishes ultimately boil down to neural connections. Now, that is sort of a gross simplification, but, is it quintessential truth.
However, I do get that the peeps might now wanna be all about neuroscience, 'cause brains, in and of themselves, aren't sexy. So, spank me?

Spankin' you doesn't make my pistons pop, or my catalyst convert, or even evoke transfer in my transfer case...

Now that we've been Tek-ucated...does it matter much?

 

[Stella_Omega]

A fetish, I think, is most strictly defined as an obsession that is so strong as to completely substitute for intercourse. Spontaneous orgasms at the sight of a pair of panties... that's pretty impressive!

Men who see nothing else of a woman beyond her toes. Or nothing else of a man beyond his dick-- that's a fetish, although the object is closer to a "normal" sexual interest than for instance, a pair of nylons might be-- only because it's always attached to a body, like it or not.

But I'm very willing to include kinks that make me happier with than without as fetishes-- collars and cages, mud, food...

 

[spankableBelle]

Not always, but in some cases yes... When you share your fetish, especially if they involve another individual, their reactions to you can be crucial in fanning the flames of that fetish to go from a spark, to a raging inferno.

the sharing of a fetish with someone, the creation of the 'click' so to speak...both having the need for that fetish, even if it comes from different sides of the same coin. Connecting... I do love this...

There are certain things I do NEED for sexual satisfaction. Without those, nothin'!

 

[Lancecastor]

Good thread.

Not much point in having a Fetish Forum if it's going to be filled with more Playground cyberwanking.

A fetish is abnormal. A fetish is something nonsexual that you've sexualized.

A fetish is something without which you can't get off or aren't interested.

Riles puts it well (below).

I put it well in the "first thread".

The Original Poster in this thread does not put it well.

It's not "whatever you want it to be".

It has to be outside the norms...otherwise, it's Normal.

For example, I get off on being the owner of my partner's orgasms.

I make her cum when and where I want her to cum...she doesn't have any choice in it.

I gave my woman an orgasm while we were walking in a shopping mall Friday night, for example. No genitals involved.

That's my thing. And without having that ownership, I wouldn't be interested in a woman except superficially.

Wiki says this:

fetish

Something which is believed to possess, contain, or cause spiritual or magical powers; an amulet or a talisman.

Something sexual or nonsexual, such as an object or a part of the body which arouses sexual desire or is necessary for one to reach full sexual satisfaction.

An irrational, or abnormal fixation or preoccupation.


I'd have never known the first one without looking it up.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Wiki says this:

fetish

Something which is believed to possess, contain, or cause spiritual or magical powers; an amulet or a talisman.

Something sexual or nonsexual, such as an object or a part of the body which arouses sexual desire or is necessary for one to reach full sexual satisfaction.

An irrational, or abnormal fixation or preoccupation.


I'd have never known the first one without looking it up.

Good thread.

Not much point in having a Fetish Forum if it's going to be filled with more Playground cyberwanking.

A fetish is abnormal. A fetish is something nonsexual that you've sexualized.

A fetish is something without which you can't get off or aren't interested.

Riles puts it well (below).

I put it well in the "first thread".

The Original Poster in this thread does not put it well.

It's not "whatever you want it to be".

It has to be outside the norms...otherwise, it's Normal.

For example, I get off on being the owner of my partner's orgasms.

I make her cum when and where I want her to cum...she doesn't have any choice in it.

I gave my woman an orgasm while we were walking in a shopping mall Friday night, for example. No genitals involved.

That's my thing. And without having that ownership, I wouldn't be interested in a woman except superficially.

Nothing in the wiki bit that Riles quoted stats that the fetish has to be abnormal. Nor does it have to be something that you just can't be without.



It simply says that it *can* be. It *can* also be something that simply arouses desire, as many people have listed.

 

[yuna1981]

Are we far off the point?
If you ask me, fetishes ultimately boil down to neural connections. Now, that is sort of a gross simplification, but, is it quintessential truth.
However, I do get that the peeps might now wanna be all about neuroscience, 'cause brains, in and of themselves, aren't sexy. So, spank me?

I like big... brains.

I'm always interested in how individuals start down their road of the certain fetishes that hold that magic power of arousal, and how it continues to develop. But there's something about the idea of fetish that fixes a particular object, or act, in a way that for me doesn't capture how contingent and contextual desire can be. Like, I love getting oral. Maybe you could call it a fetish. Except, I don't always want it; it's not like it's this "never fails to get me horny or get me off" thing, that the word fetish evokes for me. Magic always works, that's what makes it magic.

Even if fetishes "boil down" to neuroscience, I don't find this the thing that is fascinating, "quintessential truth" though it is. I don't disagree. I guess it's the emphasis on the connections and when and why they get made, and how the person makes sense of that. Like the first time I felt a warm wet tongue on my clit while scrunched up in the backseat of a car, that flashes in my brain sometimes when I hit the road. Not that the car is the input that triggers a signaling pathway so I access a particular memory stored in my brain due to long-term potentiation that in turn triggers the release of neurotransmitters, hormones, etc etc.

 

[janeyl]

A fetish, I think, is most strictly defined as an obsession that is so strong as to completely substitute for intercourse. Spontaneous orgasms at the sight of a pair of panties... that's pretty impressive!

Men who see nothing else of a woman beyond her toes. Or nothing else of a man beyond his dick-- that's a fetish, although the object is closer to a "normal" sexual interest than for instance, a pair of nylons might be-- only because it's always attached to a body, like it or not.

But I'm very willing to include kinks that make me happier with than without as fetishes-- collars and cages, mud, food...

Good thread.

Not much point in having a Fetish Forum if it's going to be filled with more Playground cyberwanking.

A fetish is abnormal. A fetish is something nonsexual that you've sexualized.

A fetish is something without which you can't get off or aren't interested.

Riles puts it well (below).

I put it well in the "first thread".

The Original Poster in this thread does not put it well.

It's not "whatever you want it to be".

It has to be outside the norms...otherwise, it's Normal.

For example, I get off on being the owner of my partner's orgasms.

I make her cum when and where I want her to cum...she doesn't have any choice in it.

I gave my woman an orgasm while we were walking in a shopping mall Friday night, for example. No genitals involved.

That's my thing. And without having that ownership, I wouldn't be interested in a woman except superficially.

I agree both personally and professionally with these.

My ex was a fetishist starting with cross dressing leading to a craving for humiliation. I'm not saying that either are necessarily a fetish for all but they became so for him. What started as a bit of kinky play, became an absolute substitute for any other type of sexual intercourse. I was unable to distinguish between his desire for me and his desire for what I was indulging him in because I thought his sharing of it with me made me and our relationship special. It didn't though because he ultimately didn't care that I didn't personally share his fetish and tried to push me further and further into something that made me feel uncomfortable and ultimately incredibly unhappy. I couldn't work out if it was me he was fucking or the PVC, me who was turning him on or the acts I was carrying out at his urging. We had, in the end, no other thing in our relationship except occasional fetishistic encounters

It lead to the demise of our relationship. I'm not saying that fetishes are necessarily wrong-we're all wired differently but when it is enforced on someone else who can't deal with it then it's damaging

I have my kinks as does my partner, but I'm very careful now to make sure that it never tips over into becoming fetishistic, I can't take the rejection of myself over the thrill of the fetish-I ultimately need more balance personally

 

[janeyl]

...well that fucking killed it...

 

[blade_rocknut]

I agree both personally and professionally with these.

My ex was a fetishist starting with cross dressing leading to a craving for humiliation. I'm not saying that either are necessarily a fetish for all but they became so for him. What started as a bit of kinky play, became an absolute substitute for any other type of sexual intercourse. I was unable to distinguish between his desire for me and his desire for what I was indulging him in because I thought his sharing of it with me made me and our relationship special. It didn't though because he ultimately didn't care that I didn't personally share his fetish and tried to push me further and further into something that made me feel uncomfortable and ultimately incredibly unhappy. I couldn't work out if it was me he was fucking or the PVC, me who was turning him on or the acts I was carrying out at his urging. We had, in the end, no other thing in our relationship except occasional fetishistic encounters

It lead to the demise of our relationship. I'm not saying that fetishes are necessarily wrong-we're all wired differently but when it is enforced on someone else who can't deal with it then it's damaging

I have my kinks as does my partner, but I'm very careful now to make sure that it never tips over into becoming fetishistic, I can't take the rejection of myself over the thrill of the fetish-I ultimately need more balance personally

It shouldn't have killed anything Janey- well said! Anyone ( not just limited to sexual interests) who puts their own interests ahead is neglecting the other and heading for failure.